Girlfriend wants to move in, how much should she pay?

Can we get some solid, real legal information here? Seems to me as long as she signs a lease and the rent is fair market value or lower she has no claim whatsoever to anything with the house. And if she's paying more than fair market value she would only then be entitled to that money back plus interest.

I'm sure this shit is on Judge Joe Brown somewhere, let me dig it up. Oh wait black people don't buy houses so let me check Judge Judy

Wuyley_sl said:

For those of you who think that paying "half the mortgage" entitles her to half the house are fucking retarded. She can pay for it all and as long as you are the only one on the mortgage paper itself your fine.

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Once you become common law unless there is some prior agreement and she's paying serious cash into the property she can go after you for what she feels is her fair share of the property. So no, just because your name is on mortgage doesn't mean she can't try and take some of your equity via the court system.

Wuyley_sl said:

For those of you who think that paying "half the mortgage" entitles her to half the house are fucking retarded. She can pay for it all and as long as you are the only one on the mortgage paper itself your fine.

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I'm not saying in a legal sense, although cohabitation laws in your state/province could definitely come in to play in that regard. I'm saying that people are discussing what's "fair", and saying that 50% is "fair". Maybe if dude was renting his place. He's not, and presumably he's building equity in his home by paying his mortgage. It's not "fair" for her to pay 50% of said mortgage if she's not going to be entitled to whatever her share of said equity is if/when she moves out. Therefore if you want "fair", she should be paying 50% of whatever the fair market rent of such a place would be, which is most likely less than 50% of the mortgage.

This isn't all that fucking difficult.

Big Phoenix_sl said:

How would it be any different if you rented a house from a land lord?

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See above.

Khane_sl said:

Can we get some solid, real legal information here? Seems to me as long as she signs a lease and the rent is fair market value or lower she has no claim whatsoever to anything with the house. And if she's paying more than fair market value she would only then be entitled to that money back plus interest.

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Some states/provinces do have common law or cohabitation laws on the books where after a certain time period a couple is married, for all intents and purposes. Although actually, it would appear that in Alberta it doesn't extend to property rights, but you could be on the hook for spousal support:http://www.commonlawrelationships.ca/alberta/

Those shacking up with a chick need to be aware of that kind of thing.

The way it works in my house my fiance gives me $500 a month and pays for groceries (which is maybe $300/mo.) I pay for everything else which includes mortgage and bills. Overall it is more lopsided on my end since the mortgage alone is more than what she pays me but I also have fewer personal bills like my car payment and student loans are less. I've had people seem weirded out that I have her pay me to live in the house. To me it seems perfectly reasonable. We both work full time. But I do make a bit more money than she does. Around in the $20k range.

Just tell them they're thinking of it wrong. She's not paying you, you are both contributing to an ongoing cohabitation fund which you administrate.

In this day and age a woman living in a mans house for free is the thing that would strike me as weird. I would think to myself, "She must be able to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch".

Iannis_sl said:

In this day and age a woman living in a mans house for free is the thing that would strike me as weird. I would think to myself, "She must be able to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch".

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Doesn't matter what she can do, if she's living there for free he's a sucker.

Iannis_sl said:

Just tell them they're thinking of it wrong. She's not paying you, you are both contributing to an ongoing cohabitation fund which you administrate.

In this day and age a woman living in a mans house for free is the thing that would strike me as weird. I would think to myself, "She must be able to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch".

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I think the abnormal thing is the flat monthly rate. Usually it is more a division of bills but I already had all my bills on auto-pay and all that shit when we moved in together so it was just easier to give her a flat rate to just transfer to me every month.

Jesus, am I the only married man who shares a bank account with his wife - and that's it, no other accounts? I like it - there's no "her" money or "my" money. There's just our money. We're both pretty frugal and have *somewhat* similar spending habits so it works fine. Once in a bit she'll be like "dude you ate out for lunch 3x this week, cut that shit out" - but I like that, it keeps me on track. Basically she's in charge of the money, and anything more than $40 or so we run by each other.

She grew up pretty poor, so she can pinch a penny like a motherfucker. I grew up lower middle class, where my mom was in charge of the finances (even though dad made more) because she would make sure everything worked out, even during a rough spot. Guess I'm just used to that.

OneofOne_sl said:

Jesus, am I the only married man who shares a bank account with his wife - and that's it, no other accounts? I like it - there's no "her" money or "my" money. There's just our money. We're both pretty frugal and have *somewhat* similar spending habits so it works fine. Once in a bit she'll be like "dude you ate out for lunch 3x this week, cut that shit out" - but I like that, it keeps me on track. Basically she's in charge of the money, and anything more than $40 or so we run by each other.

She grew up pretty poor, so she can pinch a penny like a motherfucker. I grew up lower middle class, where my mom was in charge of the finances (even though dad made more) because she would make sure everything worked out, even during a rough spot. Guess I'm just used to that.

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Off Topic:
My wife and I's financial advisor recommended highly against sharing everything.
We have our personal accounts and a shared Emergency Account, Savings Account & Checking Account. We both contribute to the Savings Account and Checking account equally each month. All of our combined expenses come out of the checking account. Emergency account was funded fully when the account 50/50.

On Topic
Seriously just split it 50/50. Women's rights movements have removed the Man pays for everything regardless shit.

Both of the above comments are only applicable in dual income situation.

OneofOne_sl said:

Jesus, am I the only married man who shares a bank account with his wife - and that's it, no other accounts? I like it - there's no "her" money or "my" money. There's just our money. We're both pretty frugal and have *somewhat* similar spending habits so it works fine. Once in a bit she'll be like "dude you ate out for lunch 3x this week, cut that shit out" - but I like that, it keeps me on track. Basically she's in charge of the money, and anything more than $40 or so we run by each other.

She grew up pretty poor, so she can pinch a penny like a motherfucker. I grew up lower middle class, where my mom was in charge of the finances (even though dad made more) because she would make sure everything worked out, even during a rough spot. Guess I'm just used to that.

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My wife and I share all of our accounts. She works at a bank though, so it kind of fell on her to manage our finances (despite my having a finance degree, go figure).

I don't understand why a financial advisor would recommend you separate things. If you're married, having separate accounts isn't going to make a difference in a split. The only reason I've wished I had a separate account is for getting gifts for the other person. I will say, divorce has been mentioned before (not sure if it'd ever happen) and the thought of trying to divide up all our assets after a decade makes me cringe.

OneofOne_sl said:

Jesus, am I the only married man who shares a bank account with his wife - and that's it, no other accounts? I like it - there's no "her" money or "my" money. There's just our money. We're both pretty frugal and have *somewhat* similar spending habits so it works fine. Once in a bit she'll be like "dude you ate out for lunch 3x this week, cut that shit out" - but I like that, it keeps me on track. Basically she's in charge of the money, and anything more than $40 or so we run by each other.

She grew up pretty poor, so she can pinch a penny like a motherfucker. I grew up lower middle class, where my mom was in charge of the finances (even though dad made more) because she would make sure everything worked out, even during a rough spot. Guess I'm just used to that.

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To be fair this is a thread about Girlfriends not Wives. When you make the final commitment of marriage you should combine your stuff imo with some caveats.


Now that I am married we are set up as follows:

One main account that both cheques are deposited. Our mortgage comes out of this account and other bills that I can not pay via Credit Card.
We have a main savings account with a separate bank (ing direct, its very nice) I want it separate so I do not see it daily on my normal online banking screen. Its an old account so I guess its technically in mine name. My wife has one as well but I don?t think we ever use it.

Each has their own seperate "personal account" these accounts are the "daily use accounts" and are funded by anEqualallowance from the main joint account. We do $150 every 2 weeks for ?life incidentals? we do not make a big deal about the odd time we go outside of our allowance but we always talk about it. IE last week I bought D3 for my ps3 and she got new boots, both purchases put on our CCards.

I also have my own savings account that I put a tiny bit in each month out of my allowance, this is really for Brithday/Christmas/anniversary gifts and the occasional bag of weed that I don?t want to put on a CC and might be a bit more than my ?allowance?

As mentioned I try and run every expense I can as an automatic withdrawal of my credit card. The set up with my bank gives me a premium CC with no annual payment. My wife has a card that is split off my CC account. Basicly we get one bill and can see each others transactions. I requested my wife keep her old Credit card (preferably with a zero balance) just to he can maintain her own credit history. Since I have started running everything through my credit card I have paid interest once (my bad on missing a statement) otherwise I pay it off religiously every month. Our bank offers rewards like normal banks (gift cards and trips) but mine actually offers cash towards paying off mortgage and line of credit. Every 15 months or so I get a $1000 gift card from points to pay off my Line of Credit. Now my line of Credit has been $0 for a few years now, so I rack up a $1000 charge then pay it off with the GC that day.

I would never do this kind of set up before we got married. I asked a ton of people what they did before we decided. IMO there is just so much more power and utility in working with combined finances. The law is going to see it combined anyway so why not take advantage of the power of larger sums of money. Also very helpful when doing long term planning to make sure you see the whole picture.

I tend to take care off all the money but I have purposely asked my wife to take care of the few bills that do not go on the CC. It is very important no mater what you do to keep both sides involved in the process.

Big Phoenix_sl said:

Oh I forgot divorce laws are fucking retarded and very much favor women so you have to take those into account. The basic idea still remains the same though, if you live with your partner you two should split the bills 50/50, this isnt the fucking 1950s. Unless you are making a lot more than she is there is absolutely no reason for you to be paying a bigger share of the bills than she is. Equality mother fuckers.

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How fucking dense are you? A mortgage isn't a "bill". He's building equity in his house paying that mortgage. It isn't fair or equal to expect the woman to pay half the mortgage if she's not going to get half the equity it generates if they part ways. If that IS going to be the arrangement, then you damn well better get it in writing and document the shit out of it. Again, this isn't a difficult concept.

Eomer that makes no sense to me. When you pay rent to a landlord you're paying into HIS equity, yet you don't expect a cut when you move... How is this at all different?

Nester, yes, this thread is about GF and not wives, but since others were going there /shrug

Tell my escrow and interest charges every month to my mortgage about how it isn't a bill