Girlfriend wants to move in, how much should she pay?
- Thread starter KramerZX10_sl
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I wouldn't go the 1/2 mortgage route that's for sure. If you actually say it's 1/2 the mortgage then come breakup time it's possible she can make an argument that she owns an applicable portion of the property and fight for ownership of it or you buying out her portion at current market value (a killer if the value has appreciated noticeably...bought an apartment for $40k, worth ~$260k now and I'd be fucked if I had to buy back 1/2 of it for example).
Other than that I'm not sure what the answer is but I do think splitting the bills, food etc is appropriate if you don't have a shared account of some sort and then whatever you both decide is fair.
Other than that I'm not sure what the answer is but I do think splitting the bills, food etc is appropriate if you don't have a shared account of some sort and then whatever you both decide is fair.
No one is being sexist here. This arrangement was NOT equitable. She moved into his house. Why didn't he move into hers or why didn't they find a place of their own to rent? Only in the latter case would equal division be reasonable. Expecting her to pay more than she used to pay when now she's sharing a bedroom with another person and everything else isn't right. You're all a bunch of fucks arguing from his standpoint and I'm actually giving honest advice from a place where his girlfriend is. He can take whichever advice he wants but one of them is clearly from a more relevant side.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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Why do people keep saying this? Does this happen?
This would be like a renter or a boarder claiming equity in your house. I really don't believe this is how the law works.
Excidium
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I was lucky in that I grew up with a father as a lawyer. If you charge her rent, she can come at you for the amount she put into the mortgage since you will be common law soon enough. She doesn't need to be on the title for his to happen. If you want to be safe, don't charge her anything. Better yet, don't live with her unless her name and responsibility is attached to the title.
Good thing housing rates in Vancouver are so retarded that I could never afford a house on a single income so I'm not trapped in your problem.
Good thing housing rates in Vancouver are so retarded that I could never afford a house on a single income so I'm not trapped in your problem.
Excidium
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it happens quite easily over here. I'm not sure of the specific time period but once a relationship is considered defacto marriage all rights that would be applicable during divorce proceedings become applicable even if not married. If a couple move in together and one (or both) have been claiming government benefits, be it unemployment, single parent etc, the government will stop the benefits (or reduce or increase) to bring them inline with what would be appropriate if the couple were married....and they will send someone around to check on living arrangements such as where clothes are kept, how often beds are slept in etc if you try to claim you are dating but not actually living together even though you live in the same house.
Found this as it relates to Australia atDefacto Relationships
"Usually, you will need to demonstrate that you have lived together for at least two years. This is overlooked if there is a child of the relationship, or in other exceptional circumstances.
De facto status is not achieved through any formal ceremony, but automatically applies when two people meet the criteria. Unlike marriage, de facto status is not entirely portable. Whilst it is recognised in all states of Australia, Canada and New Zealand, it is not recognised in the USA and many other countries."
"For situations where there has been no prior financial agreement, parties of a de facto relationship or a close domestic relationship can apply for property orders.......The Court will assess the contributions from both parties (both financial and non-financial).
There are many types of contributions that may have been made by either spouse. The Court considers all of the following:
a. financial contributions
b. non-financial contributions (as a homemaker or primary carer of children)
c. gifts, bonuses and inheritance
d. initial contributions (assets attained before marriage)"
So yeah, even if you don't charge rent over here you can be stung for a buyout of the value of the property, though you likely could claim your equity in it up to the point she moved in as initial contribution and only be on the hook for equity past that point
"Usually, you will need to demonstrate that you have lived together for at least two years. This is overlooked if there is a child of the relationship, or in other exceptional circumstances.
De facto status is not achieved through any formal ceremony, but automatically applies when two people meet the criteria. Unlike marriage, de facto status is not entirely portable. Whilst it is recognised in all states of Australia, Canada and New Zealand, it is not recognised in the USA and many other countries."
"For situations where there has been no prior financial agreement, parties of a de facto relationship or a close domestic relationship can apply for property orders.......The Court will assess the contributions from both parties (both financial and non-financial).
There are many types of contributions that may have been made by either spouse. The Court considers all of the following:
a. financial contributions
b. non-financial contributions (as a homemaker or primary carer of children)
c. gifts, bonuses and inheritance
d. initial contributions (assets attained before marriage)"
So yeah, even if you don't charge rent over here you can be stung for a buyout of the value of the property, though you likely could claim your equity in it up to the point she moved in as initial contribution and only be on the hook for equity past that point
Excidium
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Calling bullshit on that one. It has more to do with taxation and benefits and the government never cares if you announce shit to the public. They take their best guess and its up to you to prove them wrong. And common law has nothing to do with marriage. If it did, you wouldn't be in a country still trying to prevent gay people from getting married.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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You realize this is the internet, and this information is freely available. It was even posted in this very thread a few pages back. They absolutely do not just "take their best guess." Or are not supposed to, according to the law.
Excidium
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In the end its safer to protect your house by not letting her pay for a damn thing until you phone up a lawyer and both of you talk with them. I have seen too many people from my hometown get burned because they assume the law or think things work logically. All I can say is don't listen to any legal advice from this thread and seek a lawyer (solicitor in the states I think as Canada combines barristers and solicitors). Girls have taken assets from men just by doing house chores. The government will see that "rent" payment as helping towards the mortgage if you like it or not.
Edit: And there is a monumental difference between paying rent and paying a mortgage from a legal stand point. Money is not just money here.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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You are either a sucker, or just plain stupid. "I used to live in a 600 sq ft efficiency and payed $550/mo, the fact that I now live in your 1800 sq ft 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house with way better accommodations and way more privacy doesn't mean jack shit, I should still only pay $550/mo because I'm a woman and I have dumb as shit opinions on what's fair and equitable"
Where she lived before hand and what she was paying shouldn't even factor into the equation, it's what's fair and equitable in the current living conditions. I used to live in my parents house for free once upon a time. So I guess if I had left to move in with a girlfriend I should have expected to not pay anything right? Dumbass.
Nester
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Here in bc it seems like it does not matter who pays what, after 2 years your married.
I recall some drama in my home back before we got married when we filled out the census. Do we tick the common law box? I think I left it blank and the now wife was pissed.
I don't really know how it works if you break up. I doubt you need a formal divorce, perhaps you can just move out (without half your shit)
Ps - stop talking about the landlord stuff, unless you normally fuck your landlord it's not the same as a loving relationship.
I recall some drama in my home back before we got married when we filled out the census. Do we tick the common law box? I think I left it blank and the now wife was pissed.
I don't really know how it works if you break up. I doubt you need a formal divorce, perhaps you can just move out (without half your shit)
Ps - stop talking about the landlord stuff, unless you normally fuck your landlord it's not the same as a loving relationship.
hodj
Vox Populi Jihadi
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There's only 9 states plus DC in America where Common Law has any real weight. There's like 6 others that recognize some forms of common law marriage
Edra J. Pollin: When Does Cohabitation Become A Common Law Marriage?
If you don't live in one of those states, its not even a relevant discussion.
And yes, you do typically have to hold yourself out to the public as a married couple. What that means legally is that you mingle your assets, share bank accounts, purchase property together with shared bank accounts, file taxes jointly, and have co habited for an extended period of time.
To be frank, common law marriage hasn't existed in Kentucky in 150 years, and I imagine its like that in the vast majority of states, so its really not a relevant conversation. That guy in this thread saying the Feds will come hunt you down and demand you're common law married is so full of shit he should be negged into oblivion and embarassed to ever post here again.
If you don't live in one of these states, don't even sweat Common Law marriage anymore. It doesn't exist.
Alabama
Colorado
District of Columbia
Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
Oklahoma
Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
Utah
Edra J. Pollin: When Does Cohabitation Become A Common Law Marriage?
If you don't live in one of those states, its not even a relevant discussion.
And yes, you do typically have to hold yourself out to the public as a married couple. What that means legally is that you mingle your assets, share bank accounts, purchase property together with shared bank accounts, file taxes jointly, and have co habited for an extended period of time.
To be frank, common law marriage hasn't existed in Kentucky in 150 years, and I imagine its like that in the vast majority of states, so its really not a relevant conversation. That guy in this thread saying the Feds will come hunt you down and demand you're common law married is so full of shit he should be negged into oblivion and embarassed to ever post here again.
If you don't live in one of these states, don't even sweat Common Law marriage anymore. It doesn't exist.
Alabama
Colorado
District of Columbia
Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
Oklahoma
Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
Utah
Making assumptions makes you look like a drooling retard. We have no idea what the individual expenses are.
So what's the consensus on this? There's a good chance my gf will move in with me in the next year, but I am not looking forward to having a rent conversation. We both earn the same amount, so it's not an ability to pay, but it just seems weird to be living somewhere, affording it fine, and then have your gf move in and then suddenly she should start paying for some of it. It would be much more clear-cut, in my mind, if we moved to a new place.
chthonic-anemos
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Think of it as a test to see if she's reasonable and responsible. Find out if you're wasting your own time.