Girlfriend wants to move in, how much should she pay?

Cybsled

Cybsled

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Community property typically only applies to spouses. Like common-law, there are only a few states that have stuff like that on the books (Texas and Cali are the big ones).

Of the states that have common-law marriage on the books, most require that the couple in question consider themselves married (so to speak) or pass some other hurdles beyond just simply living together. The state with the most fucked up common-law marriage law is Colorado, IMO. Get this: If you are considered to be part of a common-law marriage in that state, you actually have to get a legit divorce through the courts in order to dissolve it.

Those laws are so annoying if you work in insurance.
 
kudos

kudos

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Half of everything otherwise she will use it against you when you get into an argument.

"JUST BECAUSE YOU PAY MORE DOESN'T MEAN YOU LOVE ME MORE" or one of the other 10000000 variations.

Doubly so if she is a feminist or really into being an "independent woman". Show her true equality.
 
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Northerner

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As a small aside to OneofOne and Hoss, I do own property and I do rent it out.

I don't know how things work in America-land but here in Calgary, my expenses run similarly to what I said. With all costs captured (key being *all*... including my time, the risk and opportunity costs for capital and so on and so on), I am looking at ~6% (because I am clever and bought an appropriate property) return and that by me at least is pretty goddamned great. If the property actually also appreciates in value, which so far it has but by no means is it guaranteed to continue to do so, then I'll be quite happy. So far I am ecstatic but hey, the property market could shit the bed at any time. This is part of the risk aspect.

I rent myself though. Unless you have kids, can get a revenue stream or otherwise need the social value, it is a suckers' game to buy.
 
Hoss

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Northerner_sl said:
As a small aside to OneofOne and Hoss, I do own property and I do rent it out.

I don't know how things work in America-land but here in Calgary, my expenses run similarly to what I said. With all costs captured (key being *all*... including my time, the risk and opportunity costs for capital and so on and so on), I am looking at ~6% (because I am clever and bought an appropriate property) return and that by me at least is pretty goddamned great. If the property actually also appreciates in value, which so far it has but by no means is it guaranteed to continue to do so, then I'll be quite happy. So far I am ecstatic but hey, the property market could shit the bed at any time. This is part of the risk aspect.

I rent myself though. Unless you have kids, can get a revenue stream or otherwise need the social value, it is a suckers' game to buy.
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Calling bullshit. That runs counter to what you already said.

Northerner_sl said:
If rents in your city are sufficient to pay the mortgage and bills completely then please let me know. I'll 'buy' all the property I can there by making other people foot the bill.

Landlords operate a profitable enterprise or at least try to do so. Typically this means looking for a return in the 4-6% range on your investment if you have competently assessed the market, not paying off a property completely just from unit rentals. Again, if this were the case then no one would invest in anything else.
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I didn't understand your second paragraph initially, but I thought maybe you were saying you ran a 6% loss. So lets address the bolded parts, if you're running a 6% profit on your rental units, how can you act incredulous that rents exceed mortgage payments? And if you supposedly know this, how can you say buying is a sucker's game?
 
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niss_sl

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As someone that was on the other end of this question, I wouldn't ask her to pay any more than what her rent was before moving in with you. If her previous rent was 600 and now you want her to pay half of 1800 (ie. $900), I'd say fuck no. That's not fair. However if the 900$ ends up being less than what she was paying rent for before I'd say it's reasonable.
 
Khane

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niss_sl said:
As someone that was on the other end of this question, I wouldn't ask her to pay any more than what her rent was before moving in with you. If her previous rent was 600 and now you want her to pay half of 1800 (ie. $900), I'd say fuck no. That's not fair. However if the 900$ ends up being less than what she was paying rent for before I'd say it's reasonable.
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You know I'm going to try this strategy next time I make an offer on a house. I'm going to let the seller's agent know what my current rent is and ask them the salaries of everyone I'm bidding against. That way I can say really dumb shit like "It's not fair, my last house was only $X/mo, my next house should cost the same amount regardless of living conditions!"

This is 2013, women are empowered and have all the facilities and tools available to them that men do. It's actually pretty sexist to expect a man to still take care of a woman just because she's a woman. If there is a big difference in income then working out something equitable for the two of you is obviously something that should be discussed. But she should always be pulling her weight. If she makes way less money and can't afford half she should be doing stuff around the house, if she thinks you're a sexist pig for recommending such an arrangement then dump her stupid ass and find a woman who isn't worthless.
 
Big_w_powah

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Why not put her in charge of 2-3 bills, say electric and food (as those are often the biggest things other than mortgage) while you pay the mortgage+everything else. Takes probably 3-400 easily off your plate. Then, also ask her to pitch in frequently on fun times, so you can build up your savings since you've been in the red. Since she doesn't put a dime towards the mortgage, there's no question about who gets what equity. But it does help you out, and likely her out since chances are she'll be putting out significantly less.
 
Big_w_powah

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Khane_sl said:
You know I'm going to try this strategy next time I make an offer on a house. I'm going to let the seller's agent know what my current rent is and ask them the salaries of everyone I'm bidding against. That way I can say really dumb shit like "It's not fair, my last house was only $X/mo, my next house should cost the same amount regardless of living conditions!"

This is 2013, women are empowered and have all the facilities and tools available to them that men do. It's actually pretty sexist to expect a man to still take care of a woman just because she's a woman. If there is a big difference in income then working out something equitable for the two of you is obviously something that should be discussed. But she should always be pulling her weight. If she makes way less money and can't afford half she should be doing stuff around the house, if she thinks you're a sexist pig for recommending such an arrangement then dump her stupid ass and find a woman who isn't worthless.
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Yeah, its 2013 and sexism and all that, but still.

I can see this two ways; 1, they're trying to see if cohabitation would work because they, at this point, intend to get married at some point and want to see if they work together. In which case it should be half, probably. Or some arrangement that equals out to 50/50 with labor/money split. In this way, your second paragraph works.

In case 2, they're simply living together for economics. In which case she shouldn't be paying his mortgage cause her name isn't on it.
 
Big Phoenix

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What the hell does it matter that he is paying a mortgage? Rent is fucking rent.
 
Khane

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Big W Powah!_sl said:
In case 2, they're simply living together for economics. In which case she shouldn't be paying his mortgage cause her name isn't on it.
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Do people actually do this? "We don't really love each other and I guess steady sex is nice so just move in to my place so you can save some money"..... what?
 
Hoss

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Well, I've certainly used that argument a few times to try and get a chick to fuck me, cook and clean my house every day. But it never actually worked.
 
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VariaVespasa_sl

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Just make sure that if she pays that she pays in a way that doesnt give her claim to part of the value of the house. You'd need a formal renters agreement or something similar to be sure, I think. Specifically structuring it as my live-in girlfriend paying half my mortgage is risky in that regard I think.
 
JVIRUS

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My advice on this issue would be...just be honest and talk about it like a man. Ask her what she thinks would be fair, speak your peace, come to an agreement and move on.
 
kudos

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Big W Powah!_sl said:
Why not put her in charge of 2-3 bills, say electric and food (as those are often the biggest things other than mortgage) while you pay the mortgage+everything else. Takes probably 3-400 easily off your plate. Then, also ask her to pitch in frequently on fun times, so you can build up your savings since you've been in the red. Since she doesn't put a dime towards the mortgage, there's no question about who gets what equity. But it does help you out, and likely her out since chances are she'll be putting out significantly less.
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This will NOT work. The second you request her to start using her money for "fun times" everything will go to shit.

Your money = our money
My money = my money

That is how women will work if you do not have a specific # decided. Most likely she is spending that "fun times" money on shoes and other shit so she won't have any extra anyways other than a dinner at Applebee's.
 
Khane

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Not only that but letting someone be in charge of entertainment spending puts them directly in charge of entertainment. She doesn't feel like doing what you want to do? Guess what, you're either going by yourself and paying anyway (and good luck trying to leave her behind), or doing whatever the fuck she wants. And if she doesn't have enough money to afford rent you aren't going to be doing much of anything. Really, really bad idea.
 
T

ThunderCougarFalconBird_sl

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Don't let her move in.

It's far more trouble than its worth and you are almost certainly going to pay for it down the line when things go sour.

If you still insist on co-habitating, then lawyer up and draw up a proper rental contract. Charge her no less rent than would be expected if you found some stranger through a rental agency. Fair market value.

Cooking and cleaning alters nothing. If she were living alone or in a flat with other girls would she not cook and clean and take care of herself as a normal adult would do?

And if she expects sex to be a part of the financial equation and not due to the relationship then she's nothing more than a whore.

If she's a legit girl, and you end up married then she is going to own equity in your home at that point. But not before then unless you are stupid.

Open, honest and frank communication is vital. You will learn alot about her during this dicussion.
 
Jorren

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Khane_sl said:
Not only that but letting someone be in charge of entertainment spending puts them directly in charge of entertainment. She doesn't feel like doing what you want to do? Guess what, you're either going by yourself and paying anyway (and good luck trying to leave her behind), or doing whatever the fuck she wants. And if she doesn't have enough money to afford rent you aren't going to be doing much of anything. Really, really bad idea.
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I had a pretty good experience with my ex when we lived together. We were very much into the same thing. I paid rent she paid bills and entertainment. She also sneakily saved up a few grand and took us on a surprise vacation. Things ended cause she hated Seattle, and moved back to Chicago to go to school. My career was in Seattle. Shame it worked out that way, but we are still friends.
 
Xeldar

Xeldar

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JVIRUS_sl said:
My advice on this issue would be...just be honest and talk about it like a man. Ask her what she thinks would be fair, speak your peace, come to an agreement and move on.
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If I've learned anything in my half century on this Earth, it's SO's HATE, absolutely LOATHE you when you try to convince their female brain via logical, fact based argumentation. You'll severely piss her off from taking her out of her natural emotional state and force her to use that mathematics part of her brain that has been mostly turned off since she was 11 and realized her tits meant she could copy off of Timmy's algebra homework.
 
Khane

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Jorren_sl said:
I had a pretty good experience with my ex when we lived together. We were very much into the same thing. I paid rent she paid bills and entertainment. She also sneakily saved up a few grand and took us on a surprise vacation. Things ended cause she hated Seattle, and moved back to Chicago to go to school. My career was in Seattle. Shame it worked out that way, but we are still friends.
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That's a good woman right there and you guys were the exception not the rule. Shame it didn't work out for you.
 
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