Girls who broke your heart thread

Story too mature for FoH bro. Steel yourself.

Lord Dacianprick said:

Current girlfriend situation:

Last night I get home from work and I"m bringing home dinner for the both of us. We sit down to watch television, and I"m always trying to find something we both would like to see (I"d be happy with a marathon of game of thrones, six feet under, any kind of movie, and she"d be happy with Jersey Shore or any MTV teen preggos stuff). So I put it on X-men First class and she"s doesn"t seem to have any objections and then she says we need to talk.

She"s not having fun anymore in our relationship, we never do anything exciting anymore. I don"t disagree with that, although we just got back from Hawaii 2 weeks ago, our regular routine has been I work 50-60 hours a week and sometimes weekends now, she works 40 and basically is home by herself for a couple of hours and when I get home we don"t really do anything with each other anymore. We have the weekends though, but she sleeps in for fucking ever and I generally get up 3 hrs before her and go to sleep or want to go to sleep an hour before she does.

Also, she misses her family. They live about 400 miles away. When we first started dating, her brother and sister lived in the city, and now they both migrated back to where they came from.

I can bring the fun again, not a problem. We can start going on trips, go to festivals, I think that would make her happy and I know I"ve been prioritizing work over fun. What I can"t really fix is our location. My work is mainly in the city we live in, my family lives 30 minutes away, and I have a parent in their 80"s and I don"t want to move away because I"m not sure how much time they have left anyway.

We share an apartment, a dog, and have been together almost 2 years now. If we do end up breaking up, that"ll suck, but if she needs to leave town to be with family I respect that but there is nothing I can do right now about it.

I"ve had my heart broken before, you take it like a man and move on. You don"t bitch to your friends about it, other women, co-workers, etc. You just fucking keep going. Learn something from the experience.

My girlfriend is pretty, but that shit fades and when you"re both old and wrinkly you"re going to get bored real fast when you don"t have common interests. I"ve just never met a model that likes playing video games, analyzing movies, going to the gym or running on a regular basis, that also likes sci-fi and fantasy. Twilight doesn"t count. Fuck Twilight.

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Lay it on the line. Let her know your work comes first. If she cant take that: too bad. You"ll get over her; but failure in your work/carreer life requirement will scar you through the ages, and hamper your progression through life.

Lord Dacianprick said:

So I put it on X-men First class....

She"s not having fun anymore in our relationship, we never do anything exciting anymore.

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What, she doesn"t think sitting around watching X-Men is fun or doing something exciting? What a bitch!

But seriously, chances are what you watch on tv isn"t the issue, nor even more serious/legit things like being so far from family. Basically, your conversation could be summarized as thus: she"s just not that into you (anymore).

And if you"re not all that torn up about it--and "that"ll suck" means, yeah, it"ll suck, but you already know it won"t be life-shattering or anything--then you"re probably just not that into her at this point.

Happens. And, yeah, it sucks, but the options are to move on or ask her what is really going on, which will probably only prolong the inevitable. As would trying to distract yourselves from the fact you don"t have fun together anymore by finding things so fun, like festivals or trips, that you don"t have to notice what is or isn"t happening in the relationship. My thinking is doing that stuff is infinitely more rewarding when done with someone you don"t HAVE to do it with. Meaning someone you have fun just sitting around doing nothing, and then have even more fun doing something. If it takes "oooh shiny" stuff to keep a relationship fun, then it"s the things you"re doing, not the relationship or person you"re with, that is fun or interesting.

The honeymoon period is wearing off, boring-ass-reality is setting in, and you just don"t like the person sitting next to you that much.

And seriously, Jersey Shore or teenage preggo stuff? She"d better be really fucking hot if she"s not watching that shit ironically.

Lord Dacianprick said:

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How often do you do something like going out for dinner, seeing a show, concert, or playing a sport etc? Do each of you have hobbies, whether the same or different from each other? From the first paragraph of your post it sounds like it"s your routine to just come home, sit on the couch and watch TV for 4 hours every night.

Do one or both of you often suggest things to do and they get shot down by the other? Obviously it"s primarily the dude"s responsibility to take the lead and suggest things to do, but if she"s not doing that either then she bears some responsibility as well. Either way, sounds like you guys are stuck in a rut.

Ya, ruts are easy to fall into in LTR"s. I think it"s both important to try and take somewhat of an interest in each others hobbies as well as being able to entertain yourselves separate from one another.

As far as your specific situation. Just let her know how you feel about her and try to find out what can be done to get out of this rut. There is a big difference betweenI"m not happyandI"m not happy with you.If what is going on now is a deal breaker, then probably best to move on with each others lives. You have peaks and valleys like that all the time in marriage.

Lord Dacianprick said:

Current girlfriend situation:
I have a parent in their 80"s and I don"t want to move away because I"m not sure how much time they have left anyway.

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The guy is right who mentioned this being way too mature for FOH. How old are you by the way with a parent in their 80"s? The only thing I can think of is if you can look back and see that you may have been neglecting time with her to do you own thing, like gaming Aamina style, you may be able to change that behavior to help things. Outside of that if you"ve been doing your part, and you seem smart enough to tell if you have, going on trips and shit isn"t going to make things instantly better. Like the previous guy mentioned, you should be able to enjoy each others company on a regular day. Good luck.

Definitely feel like we"re in a rut.

And sadly, we don"t go out that often anymore. I usually get shot down with my suggestions too. I get invited to a lot of pre-release screenings of movies, sign up just in case, and she never wants to go... so I don"t go. I"ll suggest something like a hike up San Jacinto (2nd tallest mountain in California) and she"ll shoot me down.

She"s 28.

She seems like she wants to make it work, tonight we"re going to go out. And I have planned some little adventures for the few months. These are things I think we"d both have fun doing, and maybe we"ll discover the excitement of being around each other again.

Work will always be a priority though, and staying in this city for now.

It sounds like she"s already decided it"s over; you can"t really take what she"s saying at face value.

You can certainly try a few things to salvage the situation if you feel like it, but you should be realistic about the chances.

There"s a difference between being in a rut and being with someone you just don"t like that much. I"m not talking love or lust, just on a basic level actually liking the person. It seems to me she just doesn"t like you that much anymore, and you probably don"t like her. Sounds like you"re both spending time together because it"s expected, not because you"re particularly excited by the prospect of getting to see one another after a long work week.

Going out isn"t how you find exciting THINGS, not how you find the excitement in your romantic partner. If the relationship is only exciting when you"re doing exciting things, then, yeah, it"s a relationship problem, not a problem with your event calendar. Especially if you"re both working a lot and don"t get to see each other often, then when you do get a day off she"d rather just sleep in? You end up never going to pre-screening of movies because she doesn"t want to? So you both just find something on TV neither of you complains too much about having to watch (and then instead have "we need to talk" talks?).

Work is a priority. Your family is priority. Basically, it should tell you something that you have more important things in your life and she just isn"t making the cut. The best thing for both of you is to probably just cut bait and try again. That way, even if alone and blue-balled, when you come home you"re at least not watching boring shit on TV out of some relationship obligation.

Basically, if you were both wanting to actually get out and have fun and do exciting things together, you"d be doing them together. The problem isn"t doing things, but the "together" part of that equation.

Find someone that wants to go to pre-screenings of movies. Let her find someone that wants to watch stupid shit on TV. Stop pretending and hoping that buying season tickets to the circus to see a monkey ride an elephant will distract you both from the fact the real elephant in the room is you"re both obviously apathetic and bored with one another. Not with the things you"re doing, but with one another.

Yeah, breaking up sucks and is a logistical nightmare... which is why so many people end up staying together out of convenience and obligation. What you need is someone you start valuing as much as work and family (who, if worthy of such value, will understand and support the things you also value). Basically, find someone worth being with until death-do-you-part, or risk this sort of relationship becoming bored-to-death-do-you-part.

Lord Dacianprick said:

Definitely feel like we"re in a rut.

And sadly, we don"t go out that often anymore. I usually get shot down with my suggestions too. I get invited to a lot of pre-release screenings of movies, sign up just in case, and she never wants to go... so I don"t go. I"ll suggest something like a hike up San Jacinto (2nd tallest mountain in California) and she"ll shoot me down.

She"s 28.

She seems like she wants to make it work, tonight we"re going to go out. And I have planned some little adventures for the few months. These are things I think we"d both have fun doing, and maybe we"ll discover the excitement of being around each other again.

Work will always be a priority though, and staying in this city for now.

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If I get shot down with ideas of going out to eat, movie, what ever really, I just tell her fine stay home and do nothing I"ll be back later, which usually has her following me out the door to come along. She may seem like she wants to make it work and is probably looking at you to make it happen.

Why do you even want to make this relationship work? Maybe I missed something, but I don"t recall you saying anything good about her other than she"s "pretty", and we need pics to properly help you.

And, as we all know, clothing can be deceptive. I"m pretty sure you can follow this train of thought.

Erronius said:

^^ I was going to say something along these lines.

I look at it like this. If she doesn"t go, then it isn"t your fault. If she starts crying that you go places w/o her, tell her to STFU. You offer, she refuses. It is then her fault, clearly. Don"t just stay at home to ho-hum with her.

I cannot fucking STAND women that want to argue where to go non-fucking-stop.

Guy: I"m hungry. Want to get something to eat?
Chick: Sure.
Guy: Where do you want to go?
Chick: I dunno, pick something. I can"t think of anything.
Guy: ...ok. How about BK?
Chick: Ugh! I don"t think I could stomach fast food.
Guy: Olive Garden?
Chick: Naw, that"s kinda fattening all those carbs.
Guy: Jason"s Deli?
Chick: Too expensive.
Guy: Chinese?
Chick: As if.
Guy: Well where the fuck do you want to go then?
Chick: I dunno, think of something.

I have said "fuck this" more than once, made a declaration...and then, as if by magic, it"s"Well, you don"t have to getMAD, sheesh! I guess I"ll go wherever you want to go. /rolls eyes"

Sometimes you just have to put your foot down andGO.

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Hate that shit. I"d say something along the lines of, "Fuck it, I"m going to Cracker Barrel because I want some fucking french toast at 9 p.m." Difference being the response is usually, "Fine, let"s go to Olive Garden." Bitches love Olive Garden.

Drinsic said:

Hate that shit. I"d say something along the lines of, "Fuck it, I"m going to Cracker Barrel because I want some fucking french toast at 9 p.m." Difference being the response is usually, "Fine, let"s go to Olive Garden." Bitches love Olive Garden.

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Bro, going to Cracker Barrel because you want breakfast at any time is always the solution. I could throw down on some blueberry pancakes with warm blueberry syrup any time.

Oh, I agree. When I threatened Cracker Barrel, I fully intended to go get a table for one and enjoy some badass french toast if she didn"t change her mind. That never happened, though. If that place was open 24/7 and served alcohol, I don"t know if I"d ever go anywhere else. I"d also probably die within a year.

Erronius said:

I cannot fucking STAND women that want to argue where to go non-fucking-stop.

Guy: I"m hungry. Want to get something to eat?
Chick: Sure.
Guy: Where do you want to go?
Chick: I dunno, pick something. I can"t think of anything.
Guy: ...ok. How about BK?
Chick: Ugh! I don"t think I could stomach fast food.
Guy: Olive Garden?
Chick: Naw, that"s kinda fattening all those carbs.
Guy: Jason"s Deli?
Chick: Too expensive.
Guy: Chinese?
Chick: As if.
Guy: Well where the fuck do you want to go then?
Chick: I dunno, think of something.

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And what the deal with airplane food? And have you ever noticed that black people dance like this (all nice and shit) and white people dance like this (all stiff). *tap* *tap* is this thing on? /"90"s stand up comic

Erronius said:

I have said "fuck this" more than once, made a declaration...and then, as if by magic, it"s"Well, you don"t have to getMAD, sheesh! I guess I"ll go wherever you want to go. /rolls eyes"

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Yeah, I hate this shit with the burning fury of a thousand suns. I"ve been known to do the same thing and just go where I want. I honestly think that"s the whole point sometimes. A decision is being requested, whether they know it or not.

Heylel Teomim said:

Yeah, I hate this shit with the burning fury of a thousand suns. I"ve been known to do the same thing and just go where I want. I honestly think that"s the whole point sometimes. A decision is being requested, whether they know it or not.

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Funny because this shit happened all the time with my parents when our family would go out to dinner, and now that I look back, I see exactly how that never changes even as women get older