Girls who broke your heart thread

Eventually she"s like we need to take a "break" I leave for about a week to give her time to sort out her feelings, apparently a break was code word for fucking some dude she met on the internet in our bed.

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She wants to have a "break" for awhile where I give her the space she needs to figure herself out. She specifically says it isn"t breaking up, she just needs to time to figure it out. I had bought her a cheapo AMD laptop for her birthday, and she refused to accept out of guilt for how she was making us take a break.

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"a break" WAS not code, it IS code for I want to sleep with another man and see if I like him more than you.

Without making her feel like a slut for cheating on you outright (even if she has already abandoned the relationship emotionally and has probably already been flirting with other guys for a while (about 3 weeks ago would be my guess based on your description of her becoming distant 2 weeks ago).

She"s already fucking someone else (or intends to in the very near future).

You know it, just don"t want to admit it to yourself.

Solariss said:

Finally talking to someone worth a damn... She"s pretty cute. The okcupid thing has been shit so far, but I"ve posted on craigslist too. Gotten a lot of replies, just mostly whales that I"m totally uninterested in... So just basically texting right now.. when is a good time to ask for a date, or what should I even suggest for a date?

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When OKcupid dries up, I usually switch over to PlentyofFish... I think you"d have much more luck there than craigslist... The couple of times I tried craiglist the ratio of spam:guys offering to suck my dick:women was about 20:5:0

Any yea, even then, sometimes you just don"t get lucky, for example, tonight I had a message waiting in my inbox when I got home from work. I eagerly opened it to see

Her: Hello Handsome

Unfortunately then I opened her profile. And then I realized that maybe craigslist wasn"t so bad after all.

Antarius said:

"a break" WAS not code, it IS code for I want to sleep with another man and see if I like him more than you.

Without making her feel like a slut for cheating on you outright (even if she has already abandoned the relationship emotionally and has probably already been flirting with other guys for a while (about 3 weeks ago would be my guess based on your description of her becoming distant 2 weeks ago).

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Pretty much this. "Break" is always code for "I want to play the field for a while."

I was thinking "Raggedy Ann 30 years later".

Horrid. Curly red hair is not a good look. Works on Debra Messing and Debra Messing only. I"ve heard a lot of guys say they don"t find her attractive which is just...beyond me.

She sounds like she is PMSing. I"d give her a week and she"ll probably come around. It is also a good thing that she wont accept your gift. She probably thinks it"s inappropriate to accept an expensive gift when she is obviously sulking and treating you like shit.

Trexmussen said:

Horrid. Curly red hair is not a good look. Works on Debra Messing and Debra Messing only. I"ve heard a lot of guys say they don"t find her attractive which is just...beyond me.

She sounds like she is PMSing. I"d give her a week and she"ll probably come around. It is also a good thing that she wont accept your gift. She probably thinks it"s inappropriate to accept an expensive gift when she is obviously sulking and treating you like shit.

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Bullshit. She is refusing the gift because she is already interested in fucking some other guy and has enough guilt about it. I guess the silver lining is she isn"t a heartless bitch; she just has decided she is moving on.

Relationship is over. No one"s fault - it just wasn"t working for her.

Big Sutekh said:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PdboZcFlpUg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

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lol, I was literally thinking of googling this song cause I"d heard it recently and didn"t know who it was by. Thanks.

Solariss said:

Finally talking to someone worth a damn... She"s pretty cute. The okcupid thing has been shit so far, but I"ve posted on craigslist too. Gotten a lot of replies, just mostly whales that I"m totally uninterested in... So just basically texting right now.. when is a good time to ask for a date, or what should I even suggest for a date?

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Yeah I"m finding OKCupid to be a bust so far too. Haven"t messaged anyone on it, but not many girls from what I can see compared to POF. I found the same thing with Eharmony, which was even worse. I guess POF is big in this area. Problem with POF is I think many people on it aren"t serious about it, just browsing around or chatting, but not wanting to actually meet.

As far as suggesting a date, if you"ve exchanged phone numbers then you should be asking her out pretty much immediately.

Still messaging a bit with two girls who messaged me on POF. One I"ve texted with a bit the past couple weeks, tried to meet up a couple times but we"ve both been busy and haven"t been able to sync up. Other one I said we should meet up a couple days ago. We"ll see how either or goes. The one I"ve been texting with seems cool, but we"ll see.

Kinda funny, I managed to guess where both of them worked based off their profiles and tidbits of info. The first one had "economic development" as her career, so I asked if she worked for Edmonton Economic Development Corp. Pretty easy guess, really. She was impressed since most people don"t know what that is. Second girl had mentioned social work as her career, and in messages said she lived in a small town a few minutes outside of Edmonton. I had done some budgeting on some new buildings for a place that helps troubled kids by there back in November, so I mentioned that and asked if that"s where she worked. I do believe it simply creeped her out.

50/50!

Tripamang said:

Anyone been in something like this before? Had it work out? Had it blow up? The girl so far has been my dream woman.. I"m just not sure if I"m just waiting for something that"ll never happen and I"ll end up being the fool again.

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Give her the distance she"s asked for, but resign yourself to the fact it"s probably done. Girls are fantastic for projecting their life"s problems on to their relationships subconsciously as an excuse or reason, but it"s likely she"s lost interest in you independently of what else is going on in her life. If she hadn"t, why would she toss away the one good thing she had going? She knows you care for her, feels bad that she doesn"t any more, and is looking for reasons as to why that don"t leave her with the emotional responsibility of ending the relationship. "Oh well, my life sucks, that"s why I don"t like him any more!"

Sorry man.

Tripamang said:

Now I"m at an impasse, I"ve been supportive of the idea because I"ve been her in situation before, but at the same time my gut instinct is there is something more going on that she doesn"t want to tell me. I"m kind of flip flopping between me trusting her, and what is probably my experience from my previous relationship. Anyone been in something like this before? Had it work out? Had it blow up? The girl so far has been my dream woman.. I"m just not sure if I"m just waiting for something that"ll never happen and I"ll end up being the fool again.

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It"s possible that what she said is the whole truth, but it"s unlikely. Eomer"s version is the most likely scenario (not working out for her, feels bad). It"s possible she"s dying to bang some other dude immediately, but less likely.

You said she is a co-worker, right? She"s probably trying to ease out without making life shitty for both of you. And maybe she really does intend to make a major life change. Unfortunately, it doesn"t sound like you are part of the plan.

It doesn"t sound like it from your story, but do you live with her? That would make it more awkward.

Trexmussen said:

Horrid. Curly red hair is not a good look. Works on Debra Messing and Debra Messing only. I"ve heard a lot of guys say they don"t find her attractive which is just...beyond me.

She sounds like she is PMSing. I"d give her a week and she"ll probably come around. It is also a good thing that she wont accept your gift. She probably thinks it"s inappropriate to accept an expensive gift when she is obviously sulking and treating you like shit.

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.

Tripamang said:

Anyone been in something like this before? Had it work out? Had it blow up? The girl so far has been my dream woman.. I"m just not sure if I"m just waiting for something that"ll never happen and I"ll end up being the fool again.

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I was in a relationship that had a complete and total meltdown around 3 years in- I"m talking ""moving out of the apartment, going back to another country, you have a good life"" deal. I sat him down and was like ""I"m viewing this as a break"" and basically he told me to fuck off, that "breaks" are bullshit and that you don"t need that sort"ve thing if you are truly interested in making a relationship work. When he left he didn"t sit around waiting for me to contact him, he basically looked on the relationship as completely over and done with. Thankfully I dug myself out of that pit I made for myself, but it sure as hell taught me a lesson.

He was right, or at least right about how situations work at least 90% of the time. A woman asking for a break is basically too scared to actually up and break up with someone- they like the comfort of thinking they can return to the relationship whenever it suits them. It"s got all the benefits of officially ending the relationship, while still leaving a little rope to grab onto if the "break" doesn"t yield what they want. Every girl I know has ponied that little gem out, and I would say within a few weeks of going on "break" most of them were fooling around with guys that had been otherwise friend-zoned/sidelined during their actual relationship.

I mean...It"s cool to hope and all, but don"t expect her to be calling. Sometimes a break IS a break. Most of the time it isn"t.

I would always tell the girls I was dating that I don"t do breaks. Not as an ultimatum, but just as a "this is my philosophy" type of deal. Basically for the reasons outlined in the story above. If your purpose for dating is to find that special someone who you can spend the rest of your life with together, then you shouldn"t need breaks from each other. If your having life issues your S.O. should be someone you turn to for support, not someone you turn away from.

Tripamang said:

she proceeds to tell me that she"s just wanted to be alone lately, and she"s been beating herself up and has been pretty angry. She feels like she"s going to project these feelings towards our relationship and ruin it if we keep spending as much time together.

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This is simply a female equivalent of "it"s not you it"s me". She"s breaking up with you and trying to be nice about it. I"m sorry bro, but there are still plenty of fish in the sea, she wasn"t a paragon of perfection.

Antarius said:

When OKcupid dries up, I usually switch over to PlentyofFish... I think you"d have much more luck there than craigslist... The couple of times I tried craiglist the ratio of spam:guys offering to suck my dick:women was about 20:5:0

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Lol, I"ve had a few guys offer to blow me... but I get a lot of replies from girls too... I have PoF but never found anybody on there, and really don"t like the site layout that much.

Eomer said:

Yeah I"m finding OKCupid to be a bust so far too. Haven"t messaged anyone on it, but not many girls from what I can see compared to POF. I found the same thing with Eharmony, which was even worse. I guess POF is big in this area. Problem with POF is I think many people on it aren"t serious about it, just browsing around or chatting, but not wanting to actually meet.

As far as suggesting a date, if you"ve exchanged phone numbers then you should be asking her out pretty much immediately.

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The problem I find with these sites is that if I find an attractive girl and send her a message... she"s already got 500 other messages from other guys sitting in her inbox. That"s basically how I feel it works. Sometimes I"ll send a message and they don"t even look at my profile. I"m not an unattractive guy by any means. It just seems pointless to me..

When I post on craigslist, I have the girls come to me... then I can talk to them instead of them just waving another random 50th guy e-mailing her this week.

I actually post my number on craigslist. A lot of girls don"t even bother e-mailing me but they"ll just send a text right away. So we"re talking through texts and stuff before I know anything about her. That"s why I was wondering, when should I ask for a date? Where should this date take place... like dinner or something? I"m really new to this and have never met anybody from an online website, or have never casually dated random girls either.

Talking to 2 attractive girls that replied to my craigslist ad now. But how long do you text before making a date to meet up?

Second girl had mentioned social work as her career, and in messages said she lived in a small town a few minutes outside of Edmonton. I had done some budgeting on some new buildings for a place that helps troubled kids by there back in November, so I mentioned that and asked if that"s where she worked. I do believe it simply creeped her out.

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Hahah, no further contact after that?

Solariss said:

The problem I find with these sites is that if I find an attractive girl and send her a message... she"s already got 500 other messages from other guys sitting in her inbox. That"s basically how I feel it works. Sometimes I"ll send a message and they don"t even look at my profile. I"m not an unattractive guy by any means. It just seems pointless to me..

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I agree to an extent, but don"t follow it to the conclusion that it"s pointless. If she"s a good looking girl, how is that any different than every day life other than being amplified? They get hit on all the time, whether on a dating website or going to get a coffee or have a drink. Does that mean it"s pointless to pursue attractive women in general?

I actually post my number on craigslist. A lot of girls don"t even bother e-mailing me but they"ll just send a text right away. So we"re talking through texts and stuff before I know anything about her. That"s why I was wondering, when should I ask for a date? Where should this date take place... like dinner or something? I"m really new to this and have never met anybody from an online website, or have never casually dated random girls either.

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Never used Craigslist personally so I can"t really comment much, and didn"t realize you were just posting your cell number there. Obviously that changes things a bit. I was operating from the perspective of dating websites, where if you"ve exchanged numbers that pretty much means it"s time to go on a date and meet.

I"d say for a first date dinner is a bit much because it puts pressure on both sides to be able to hold a conversation despite not knowing each other. I"ve often done dinner and then a hockey game for a first date and it works well, but I can have a great conversation with a statue. I"ve you"ve met online and this is the first meeting, I"d say keep it short to a quick coffee or drink, or maybe something fun like mini-golf. An hour or two at most. It"s hardly even a first date really. It"s just a chance to meet the person and then decide if you want to date further from there, IMO. If it"s going really well then by all means tack something else on if neither has further plans.

Hahah, no further contact after that?

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She generally takes a day or two to respond, at least. Last time was a week actually, she"d been out of town. I had joked that it was creepy when I guessed, and she agreed in her reply. My next message I jokingly reminded her that she was the one who messaged me first, answered a question she"d asked and suggested we should meet up. Meh, she"s only got a couple pics up and in one she looks cute but with a goofy look on her face, the other I"m not sure if it"s a bad pic but doesn"t look too good. She had her pics on private as well. Seems like a small town girl in a lot of ways and probably not to my liking anyways. Other one is a lot more promising.

Holding a conversation is my biggest fear, especially when meeting somebody new. Not sure exactly what to say... but I know there has to be certain questions or good conversation starters that can be used. Any tips there? I"ve been on a couple dates that went horribly and don"t want that to happen again. I"ve just avoided this entire dating thing because of the nervousness that comes along with it


You should try posting a good craigslist ad, lots of girls reply surprisingly... a lot aren"t worth the time, but if you post your ad every 2-3 days you"ll get a lot of decent looking girls to talk to. My friend lives in North Carolina and he"s the reason I started doing it. He"s on PoF and OKCupid too, but he"s had the most success on craigslist. He"s literally fucked like 30 different girls since he moved down there a year ago, and he is nowhere near a good looking guy lol.. Not sure how he does it, but he even gets these girls to send him nude pictures before even meeting him. He"s sent me a lot of proof, so I know he"s not just lying about it all

Solariss said:

He"s sent me a lot of proof, so I know he"s not just lying about it all

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I think your attachments broke?