Girls who broke your heart thread

ham · Jul 18, 2012

Vimeseh said:
Be that as it may, I managed to avoid cheating before it became easier to do. I just took issue with that previous posters "we all do it" mentality. No we all don"t. Some of us never have and probably never will. Some of us do it serially and some of us only did it once. Doesn"t make either of the latter two situations right or acceptable in my view.

Agreed. I never thought I would do it either, as I"m sure many who think you will never do it now are thinking (and some of you WILL do it). I"m bad at relationships in general, I don"t like to be exclusive and I don"t like the idea of being so invested in someone that when they fuck up (as in my case here) that it can fuck me up for days,weeks, etc. I had my one and only fuckup at the start of a "serious" relationship, but I didn"t rationalize it with that. I woke up the next morning, felt like a total piece of shit, couldn"t understand how people do this to people and vowed I would never do it again.

I kept it to myself forever, which some people see as just as bad too, but I knew how stupid and selfish I was, fixed my shit right then and there and nothing even close to that happened again. Of course had I gone home and told her, and she posted on FOH everyone would"ve told her to leave me, never talk to me again and that I"ll just end up doing it again because I"m a worthless sack of shit. That"s how I can see both sides before in a way that I really couldn"t until I fucked up myself.

I also imagine it"s probably harder for an attractive woman too. If you imagine the hottest streak of your life you ever had with women then multiplied that times 10 and make it happen every time you go out, the odds are stacked a little against you seeing as you have to go through it for a stretch of 25-30 years (or as long as your looks last).

Vimeseh_foh · Jul 18, 2012

ham said:
Agreed. I never thought I would do it either, as I"m sure many who think you will never do it now are thinking (and some of you WILL do it). I"m bad at relationships in general, I don"t like to be exclusive and I don"t like the idea of being so invested in someone that when they fuck up (as in my case here) that it can fuck me up for days,weeks, etc. I had my one and only fuckup at the start of a "serious" relationship, but I didn"t rationalize it with that. I woke up the next morning, felt like a total piece of shit, couldn"t understand how people do this to people and vowed I would never do it again.

I kept it to myself forever, which some people see as just as bad too, but I knew how stupid and selfish I was, fixed my shit right then and there and nothing even close to that happened again. Of course had I gone home and told her, and she posted on FOH everyone would"ve told her to leave me, never talk to me again and that I"ll just end up doing it again because I"m a worthless sack of shit. That"s how I can see both sides before in a way that I really couldn"t until I fucked up myself.

I also imagine it"s probably harder for an attractive woman too. If you imagine the hottest streak of your life you ever had with women then multiplied that times 10 and make it happen every time you go out, the odds are stacked a little against you seeing as you have to go through it for a stretch of 25-30 years (or as long as your looks last).

Its honestly more to protect yourself then anything else. If that one time cheating is honestly the only time you do it then you are a very rare person Ham. I know so many people who are cheaters, or have been cheated on and I can think of one off the top of my head that has done it once and is now happily married to the woman he cheated on. One out of probably a couple of dozen people that I know for sure have been on one side or the other of a cheating equation. Granted he didn"t tell anyone but me (and this was two years after the fact) so you might have made a good move there I suppose. Then again he pretty much beat himself to death mentally over it and is scared shitless she will cheat on him at one point. Which I can"t see being good for their long term relationship. That"s the other side of cheating that people don"t think about often. People who cheat believe/expect they will be cheated on as well in a lot of cases. Which makes them more likely to cheat since it will happen to them eventually or it turns them in to overbearing clingy smothering types like my buddy is slowly turning in to.

Kirun · Jul 18, 2012

Vimeseh said:
It doesn"t just happen that way sometimes. Either you went looking for it or you put yourself in a stupid position where it happened. Getting hammered at a bar and making out with/banging a chick that carried a torch for you for a while didn"t just happen. You A.) got drunk B.) were alone with the chick that wasn"t your girlfriend. Substitute any situation you want, but it always possible to not cheat. Its just much easier too not go through the effort of not cheating.

If you know you make really stupid decisions when your blitzed then don"t get blitzed without your partner around, or at least don"t do it where there is easily available tail. If you give in to temptation too easily then don"t go clubbing without your chick or to vegas for a weekend with just the boys. Yah it sounds like that puts limits on your life and that sucks. But thats what a relationship is. Decisions are made with the two of you in mind. If someone can"t deal with that then they shouldn"t be in a relationship.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Vimeseh again.

People will rationalize cheating however they see fit. "It only happened once!" "Everybody does it!" etc. Those are usually the serial cheaters.

ham · Jul 18, 2012

You"re missing the point that sometimes it does only happen once, Kirun. Saying all cheaters are the same is like saying all relationships are the same. Not everyone rationalizes it, and not everyone does it again.

Big Phoenix · Jul 18, 2012

Did sandusky stop at one boy?

Dryst_foh · Jul 18, 2012

I"m not rationalizing cheating with "Everyone does it so it"s ok"... i"m saying that you fucking beta males can"t discern between the difference between actively trying to cheat and making a mistake, albeit an extremely selfish one.

I"m not disputing the fact that cheating is grounds for ending the relationship no matter the reason. However there is a HUGE difference between having weak willpower in a situation with an attractive member of the opposite sex, and trolling plenty of fish for whales to fuck.

Kirun · Jul 18, 2012

ham said:
You"re missing the point that sometimes it does only happen once, Kirun. Saying all cheaters are the same is like saying all relationships are the same. Not everyone rationalizes it, and not everyone does it again.

And even in the very rare cases that it does only happen once, it still brings a bunch of emotional turmoil and strife to the relationship. Even if it"s only to the person who cheated. That"s the problem. The vast, vast majority of the time, that strife and torment leads to yet another instance of cheating, and another, and another, etc. I"m not saying it leads to it the next fucking day, but somewhere down the road, it almost always does. And if somebody is such a narcissist that they can "just do it once" and completely wipe it and all the guilt that goes with it from memory, then those are the type of personalities that aren"t really fit for a monogamous relationship.

EDIT:

Dryst said:
However there is a HUGE difference between having weak willpower in a situation with an attractive member of the opposite sex, and trolling plenty of fish for whales to fuck.

Nah, there really isn"t a difference. But keep telling yourself that having weak willpower makes you an alpha.

Tenks · Jul 18, 2012

Dryst said:
I"m not rationalizing cheating with "Everyone does it so it"s ok"... i"m saying that you fucking beta males can"t discern between the difference between actively trying to cheat and making a mistake, albeit an extremely selfish one.

I"m not disputing the fact that cheating is grounds for ending the relationship no matter the reason. However there is a HUGE difference between having weak willpower in a situation with an attractive member of the opposite sex, and trolling plenty of fish for whales to fuck.

Lol you call us beta males and then say you have no self control. Welcome to being at the middle of the ladder.

Dryst_foh · Jul 18, 2012

Tenks said:
Lol you call us beta males and then say you have no self control. Welcome to being at the middle of the ladder.

When did I say i"m a cheater? The last g/f I cheated on was 10 years ago, i"ve been with my current g/f for 3 years without being close to a slip up?

The difference between us is that I understand people can fuck up and don"t think they are pieces of shit b/c they gave into temptation. You guys act like you don"t imagine fucking every girl you see in a skirt, but yeh since you"ve never slipped up it makes you a better person.

Vimeseh_foh · Jul 18, 2012

Dryst said:
When did I say i"m a cheater? The last g/f I cheated on was 10 years ago, i"ve been with my current g/f for 3 years without being close to a slip up?

The difference between us is that I understand people can fuck up and don"t think they are pieces of shit b/c they gave into temptation. You guys act like you don"t imagine fucking every girl you see in a skirt, but yeh since you"ve never slipped up it makes you a better person.

Yah and I might fantasize about putting some smug little pricks head through a wall too but I don"t do that either. The difference between thought and action is pretty damn big. Also, I love the wording. Close to a slip up. Cheating on someone is not slipping up Mr. Alpha, its full on tumbling down the stairs with your dick flopping out of your pants so it hits all the whore railing posts on the way down.

At least Ham is fessing up and saying what he did was shitty and he regrets it mightily. I may disagree with the cheaters can change aspect, but you can"t fault someone for owning up to the messed up things they do.

Louis · Jul 18, 2012

I work with a girl who"s engaged with a guy who basically provides everything for her. They also live together and have a 2 year old. Every day during lunch she fucks a guy in the company parking lot while her man doesn"t have a clue and yet still provides everything. Don"t understand how people can do such twisted things and live with themselves on a day by day basis especially when kids are involved.

Srathor_foh · Jul 18, 2012

Oh so you slipped up and fell into someones twat.. Nice.

May want to invest in a new pair of shoes.

Sad thing about cheating and lying and all that it entails, is they would scream and bellow if their woman was cheating on them.

Fornication by means of temporary insanity is not a viable defense yet. People go for temporary gratification constantly, thinking the grass is greener on the other pussy/prick all the time. Maybe like the old parable that everyone should have a retail job once in their lives, the same should be said for a fucked up lying relationship where your heart is served up to you on a silver platter of lies and other peoples pubes.

If you are exclusive have a care to not stick your privates into others peoples faces, it would save many people a considerable amount of grief. At least give em a text saying srry, fking another dude, fk off and have a nice life loser.

The Ancient_sl · Jul 18, 2012

please Shutup said:
I work with a girl who"s engaged with a guy who basically provides everything for her. They also live together and have a 2 year old. Every day during lunch she fucks a guy in the company parking lot while her man doesn"t have a clue and yet still provides everything. Don"t understand how people can do such twisted things and live with themselves on a day by day basis especially when kids are involved.

So you work with Aamina"s ex?

Louis · Jul 18, 2012

Hahaha. The story isn"t that far off I guess.

Gravy · Jul 18, 2012

Srathor said:
Oh so you slipped up and fell into someones twat.. Nice.

Accidents happen, man.

Eomer · Jul 18, 2012

AlexTheDictator said:
You"re a very apprehensive person, Eomer.

Yup.

Kirun said:
He never, ever just says, "fuck it!" and takes the bull by its horns. He sits there and analyzes, reanalyzes, and then analyzes again. After that, he"s about halfway to making a decision. Chicks fuckingloveguys who are indecisive about the most minor of things .

heh, I"ve message with her a few times, exchanged numbers, she"s coming over sometime next week to watch a movie, and she said she"s told a mutual friend that he should have a backyard BBQ nearby because she saw my bike hanging from the ceiling and we can "drunk bike" back home after. Oh and I"m on stand-by duty for jar opening. So don"t worry, I"m on it.

If anything what I meant was that I have a hard time believing she"s putting herself that "out there" so quickly if there was a romantic interest as opposed to just making friends with the neighbor. If she is, it"s fucking odd.

Vimeseh_foh · Jul 18, 2012

Eomer said:
Yup.

heh, I"ve message with her a few times, exchanged numbers, she"s coming over sometime next week to watch a movie, and she said she"s told a mutual friend that he should have a backyard BBQ nearby because she saw my bike hanging from the ceiling and we can "drunk bike" back home after. Oh and I"m on stand-by duty for jar opening. So don"t worry, I"m on it.

If anything what I meant was that I have a hard time believing she"s putting herself that "out there" so quickly if there was a romantic interest as opposed to just making friends with the neighbor. If she is, it"s fucking odd.

Why? Maybe she was wants some Eomer that bad? Women that want to sleep with you usually come to that conclusion quickly and act on it quickly if given the opportunity. Its something like five minutes to decide if they"d bang you and ten minutes if they"d do it that night. Or so the women I"ve talked to about it have said.

Awlbiste_sl · Jul 18, 2012

Eomer said:
If anything what I meant was that I have a hard time believing she"s putting herself that "out there" so quickly if there was a romantic interest as opposed to just making friends with the neighbor. If she is, it"s fucking odd.

There"s a middle ground between "romantic interest" and "being nice to the neighbor." Maybe she just wants to fool around, as the kids say.

Wintermute_foh · Jul 18, 2012

Eomer said:
Yup.

heh, I"ve message with her a few times, exchanged numbers, she"s coming over sometime next week to watch a movie, and she said she"s told a mutual friend that he should have a backyard BBQ nearby because she saw my bike hanging from the ceiling and we can "drunk bike" back home after. Oh and I"m on stand-by duty for jar opening. So don"t worry, I"m on it.

If anything what I meant was that I have a hard time believing she"s putting herself that "out there" so quickly if there was a romantic interest as opposed to just making friends with the neighbor. If she is, it"s fucking odd.

It"s not odd or at least I hope it"s not since I"ve done the same thing. She thinks you"re cute and she"s not sure if you think she"s cute. She likes flirting with you and she wants to maneuver herself into some low pressure situations so she can flirt with you more and see if you actually DO think she"s cute and if there is a something worth pursuing. Maybe it"s different in Canada but I don"t friend my neighbors on facebook or ask them to invite me over for movies. I don"t even know their names, I just call them things like "bitchy foreign lady" and "that guy with the ugly dog."

Awlbiste_sl · Jul 18, 2012

Wintermute said:
I just call them things like "bitchy foreign lady" and "that guy with the ugly dog."

My neighbors are Mr. and Mrs. Stompy, Weird Religious Lady, and Loud TV Couple.

What I"m saying is, I agree with Wintermute.

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