Girls who broke your heart thread

Kilivek said:

Oh absolutely not. This is far from mental masturbation. If you"re concerned about real mental health of an individual as it pertainsto realityandnot conformity, you should be out gathering textbooks I"ll suggest you read, especially as a supposed psychologist, not posting advice on strategies to "close the business deal", or as its euphemism, help with relationships.

I first answered due to a post of another "self-help" article, which contained the same line of thinking about relationships as you and others advise.

And it is not a "skill". A relationship with another human being is not about how "skilled" you are in social interaction. It"s not a bullet point on a resume, not a line item on an order, not a figure on a balance sheet.

But you think of them all the same way. Your advice, that article"s advice, most of the entirety of the advice with regards to relationships of men and women, is no different than advice on how to be successful in business, how to succeed "in the market". This cultural pattern has permeated to such an extent that you think ofeverything this way.

And I"m telling you to realize it and stop it. Teach people to share, be active in, and love relationships with human beings, not treat them like "closing the deal".

Hopefully at least now you can see the defect that the cultural pattern provides for.

Click to expand...

Option A: Listen to person on internet, who I don"t know, who uses phrases that don"t make any sense, who has no formal education in mental health, who bases his philosophy on books that aren"t peer reviewed

Option B: Learn from people who have studied and practiced for their entire life, some of whom are brilliant, graduate, become an expert, then decide how I want to approach the question of mental health

REALLY HARD DECISION GUYS CAN YOU HELP ME

Dabamf said:

REALLY HARD DECISION GUYS CAN YOU HELP ME

Click to expand...

Option C: Find more women who will leave cat diahrea on my sheets

Did I help? ;P

Voyce said:

Nope. I know my inherent worth, I know what I should have control over, and when to admit my wrong. I"m not wrong, if she can"t reciprocate without alcohol, I want nothing from her, she only got the whore business in her head from B-Rod, whose efforts were sabotage, she allowed her opinions of herself and how other people perceive her to influence how she treated me. That"s on her. I will not be the container of her misplaced self-depreciation, I am worth more than any chick that decides to play me wicked.

Click to expand...

tbh, she sounds like a ditzy slut. Just your bad luck she had a temporary attack of self-awareness.

I"m not a pussyslayer by any means. I"ve only ever had 2 chicks try to play that game on me. Most recently a buddy of mine was also after her. Having been through the game once at the first hint I walked away from her (but remained friendly -- she was a ditzy slut but she was ok otherwise) while a buddy of mine got wrapped around her. She played him that way for 2 damn months... always the same shit.

Walking away is often best. Getting your dick wet just isn"t WORTH that much trouble. You don"t even need to do anything to B-rod... he will wreak your revenge on himself.

Eomer said:

Totally depends on the person, and what mode I"m in. I"m a super chatty, happy drunk. Everyone"s my new best friend. Normally, anyways. But I"m also a pretty big smartass, so some people don"t take too kindly to me cracking wise at their expense.

Click to expand...

You remind me of me. I"m very silent normally, but get me running and I can"t stop blabbering.

Araysar said:

I only read the last few pages of this thread ever, but just how many girls have put my bro Eomer in the friend zone in this thread"s existence?

Click to expand...

All of them, bro.

Araysar said:

I only read the last few pages of this thread ever, but just how many girls have put my bro Eomer in the friend zone in this thread"s existence?

Click to expand...

Probably around half a dozen.

Eomer said:

Probably around half a dozen.

Click to expand...

He didn"t say "this year".

Fammaden said:

He didn"t say "this year".

Click to expand...

Hurtful.

But seriously, I don"t think it"s been much more than that. Either way, the one from last week definitely doesn"t have me in that zone. As I mentioned she"s taking her master"s and works most evenings as a waitress, and I"m generally pretty booked up with being awesome, so we"re having a hard time syncing our schedules up but she"s definitely making the effort to. She"s probably just going to come over to watch a movie early next week, since otherwise we can"t find anything that works for a couple weeks at least.

Eomer said:

Hurtful.

But seriously, I don"t think it"s been much more than that. Either way, the one from last week definitely doesn"t have me in that zone. As I mentioned she"s taking her master"s and works most evenings as a waitress, and I"m generally pretty booked up with being awesome, so we"re having a hard time syncing our schedules up but she"s definitely making the effort to. She"s probably just going to come over to watch a movie early next week, since otherwise we can"t find anything that works for a couple weeks at least.

Click to expand...

This is the best part about your "friend zone" stories. 99% of the time you"re already in it, yet too blind to see it.

For real, most women put you in the "friend zone"(or not) within the first few seconds of meeting, if you ever have to wonder where you are, that"s where you are.

Darus Grey said:

For real, most women put you in the "friend zone"(or not) within the first few seconds of meeting, if you ever have to wonder where you are, that"s where you are.

Click to expand...

A lot of girls will also try and convince you that they can "change their minds" about it. I have a female friend who I"ve argued with about it many times. They never really "changed their mind". You are always on the "fuck" or "not-fuck" list. If they suddenly tell themselves they"ve changed their minds and moved you to the "fuck" list, they didn"treally. You were always there. Whatactuallychanged were their social factors.

I"ve been reading this thread with interest since it"s become more of a advice thread. The recent friendzone topic is quite relevant to me as I do alot of the beta male things mentioned. I have absolutly no idea how to develop a romantic relationship with a women and have very little experience, I"m fine being friends but if I try and be anything else I turn into a retard.

Usually I focus on the most likely people I could potentially have a relationship with, go out of my way to spend time with them then get very upset and frustrated with myself when I don"t know what to do next because they are showing little interest in me other than acquaintance/friend and I don"t have the skills to progress things myself. If I get a new job my first thought is looking for single girls around my age...



So I got a new temporary job in September. Four other people where taken on at the same time, one being my age and female. I didn"t make a fuss and just tried to relax, which worked because I wasn"t too bothered about her. We went to the same train station so we pretty much had to talk to each other a bit every day, but at other times I didn"t go out of my way to wait for her in the morning or spent time together at lunch - just treated her the same as the other temps. I did make fun of her a little bit more than the others though.

After 6 weeks of this I realised that I actually did like her. Our contract was done though - so I got her number and arranged to meet up. We had also said in the group of temp staff that we wanted to meet up though, so I wasn"t sure if it was going to be a work thing or a date so tried to relax and play it like it could be either - but I didn"t invite anyone else.

Well she invited our 50 year old coworker who turned up 1/4 of the way though the night but after she said that she wanted to meet up again. She suggested a seasonal event we have here which I agreed was a good idea, but when I asked when it was - it was in 2 weeks time. That was last week and I haven"t contacted her since.



So I"m not sure what mentality I should have about meeting up with her again. The original plan was to just make friends and not work myself up over women - just practice interacting with people. Now I"m getting a nagging doubt that I should be doing something else.

Chris said:

Well she invited our 50 year old coworker who turned up 1/4 of the way though the night

Click to expand...

You"re already firmly entrenched in the friend zone. Unless you want yet another female friend then there is nothing you can or should do. If you actually want to go to the seasonal event (i.e not just because she"s going) then you should go, but don"t go just because she"s there. It"s a lost cause.

Chris said:

Well she invited our 50 year old coworker who turned up 1/4 of the way though the night but after she said that she wanted to meet up again. She suggested a seasonal event we have here which I agreed was a good idea, but when I asked when it was - it was in 2 weeks time. That was last week and I haven"t contacted her since.

Click to expand...

I"m confused on this. She didn"t show up to the planned seasonal event or she did and you just haven"t contacted her since?

Thanks for replies. Yeah the thing starts next week, it"s a german christmas market we have every year and runs for quite a few weeks.

I just moved back to home town/city after 3 years away so could do with more friends, I just need a reality check from normal people to back up the logical bit of my brain stop me obsessing about it and thinking there is more going on than actually is. I managed to do this for myself for 6 weeks but looks like I need to work more on this.