McCheese said:
In my experience, it"s not about acting differently. It"s making it clear that you"re interested in being more than just friends. There are a few ways to do this, but the most obvious is to be direct about it. Ask her out for something specific that cannot be misinterpreted as anything other than a date (i.e not "let"s meet up sometime").
Agreed, and I"ve said it before, but if you ever do get friend-zoned anyways, just be clear and direct with some variation of, "I don"t need more friends in my life atm, I didn"t ask you out to be your friend". Just make sure it doesn"t come off whiny.
That pretty much forces a confrontation on the friend/fuck ladder, so if you ever had a chance of being on the fuck side, she has to decide in the moment, and since humans are psychology loss-averse, there"s a higher chance she"ll decide she doesn"t want you out of her life just yet and make that leap. If she doesn"t...there was no way i was ever going to happen regardless, and you can move on.
Number 1 thing right here. There"s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, however. Many guys tend to cross said line, because they don"t have realconfidence, so it ends up coming off as arrogance. You can "fake it until you make it" a little bit, but if you overdo it, you"re going to come off as an arrogant prick. You really need a woman to sell herself to you. Too often guys try and sell themselves to women: "Look at this car I drive!" "Look at how rich I am", etc. That isn"t how you should approach it. You need the woman to convince herself that she"s right for you, rather than you trying to convince her, that you"re right for her(I hope that makes sense).
This as well, though I actually think it"s more of a balanced approach than just making her sell herself to you.
"Sunk Cost" no matter how dumb it is, is a very real, very strong cognitive biases in people. Relationships simply cannot be one sided, each person has to bring something to the table, and if they don"t, you run into moral hazard kind of situations(the classic "nice guy" who never gets loved or laid), because if she doesn"t have to make any sacrifices for YOU, then she is not invested in the relationship.
One thing I like to do to reinforce this bias, is once you know you"re going out more than once, is instead of always going dutch, to actually trade off paying for each others meals/tickets/whatever.
Making her open her purse to pay for your whatever, will stick with her(and you consequently, so be careful, you"re biasing yourself as well!) more because the value of each transaction will be larger, and when she mentally tallies it, she"ll think she has invested and sunk more cost into you than she really has, since it"ll still be 50/50ish.
