Girls who broke your heart thread
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I actually am on board with his going downstairs. The ex seems crazy enough that if he had just ignored her, he might have been faced with someone pounding on his apartment door within minutes. That would have been undeniably worse.
I see Dabamf"s and psu"s point, and yeah, a terse "go away" might"ve worked. But assuming his story is completely accurate, his recollection definitely didn"t seem like the short, focused "fuck off" it should"ve been. Look:
I"m looking at it from Jessie"s point of view. There"s this guy I really, really like who happens to have a psycho ex-girlfriend, right? Would I rather he go downstairs to calm this bitch down with whom he has had an extended, heavily emotional relationship with (assuming Jessie knows the situation), or, would I rather he stay upstairs WITH ME on OUR date where Iinsistedwe go back to his place and chance this woman coming upstairs or doing some other batshit insane thing/threat? The choice is clear - the latter in a heartbeat. She comes upstairs, so the fuck what? Locks on my door, the police on speed-dial if she finds an axe or some shit. That"s what they"re there for. AND it"d only reaffirm that this woman is a lunatic, making me respect him more for having a sack in leaving the relationship and continuing to ignore her because, hey, he likes me back enough to not give in.
If it worked out in the end, more power to you. But I wouldn"t be surprised if the choices you made negatively impact any future, close relationship with Jessie. Maybe not now, or soon, but down the line. That"s the worst thing about small but important decisions like this: you never see the fallout immediately because the new chick at this point wants to be supportive and forgiving because she likes you. That"s borrowed time, friend. Use it wisely.
"Eventually"? A "bit more back and forth"? "etc. etc."? Come the fuck on. That entire quote sounded like placation... and being a goddamn pussy.
I"m looking at it from Jessie"s point of view. There"s this guy I really, really like who happens to have a psycho ex-girlfriend, right? Would I rather he go downstairs to calm this bitch down with whom he has had an extended, heavily emotional relationship with (assuming Jessie knows the situation), or, would I rather he stay upstairs WITH ME on OUR date where Iinsistedwe go back to his place and chance this woman coming upstairs or doing some other batshit insane thing/threat? The choice is clear - the latter in a heartbeat. She comes upstairs, so the fuck what? Locks on my door, the police on speed-dial if she finds an axe or some shit. That"s what they"re there for. AND it"d only reaffirm that this woman is a lunatic, making me respect him more for having a sack in leaving the relationship and continuing to ignore her because, hey, he likes me back enough to not give in.
If it worked out in the end, more power to you. But I wouldn"t be surprised if the choices you made negatively impact any future, close relationship with Jessie. Maybe not now, or soon, but down the line. That"s the worst thing about small but important decisions like this: you never see the fallout immediately because the new chick at this point wants to be supportive and forgiving because she likes you. That"s borrowed time, friend. Use it wisely.
My only image was him sitting on the couch with this girl watching TV when the nut job ex starts banging on the door yelling.
To me, that moment is when the new girl will check out 9 times out of 10. Hearing about a crazy ex is nothing like experiencing it first hand. Jessie probably has an image in her head that"s maybe bad, but as soon as she"s put in a situation where she might actually be an observer in a horribly awkward shouting match, game over.
He might not have done the perfect thing by going downstairs, but I think it was probably better than taking the risk.
To me, that moment is when the new girl will check out 9 times out of 10. Hearing about a crazy ex is nothing like experiencing it first hand. Jessie probably has an image in her head that"s maybe bad, but as soon as she"s put in a situation where she might actually be an observer in a horribly awkward shouting match, game over.
He might not have done the perfect thing by going downstairs, but I think it was probably better than taking the risk.
ToeMissile
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Initially I was on the "what are you doing going down to talk to Ms. Psycho" side, but I can very see what the others are saying as well, definitely good idea to keep the ex away from new-girl. That said, he should have made the encounter shorter, and not let her really talk much, if at all. Something along the lines of a very calm but by no means unmistakable statement that if she doesn"t leave and never come back that he"d call the police.
Ronaan
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Well yeah, I guess going down to let her talk and then send her away wasn"t the best solution, but as you noted she would have found a way in and then would have started yelling at my apartment door, ruining a romantic evening even more than she already did. Keeping the ex away from Jessie was the main reason for doing what I did.
In the end, it worked out for Jessie and me. We talked about the ex before already, and she knew what was going to happen. She also saw going down and sending her away from there as the better idea.
keg, I posted 1 profile photo of Jessie a few pages back. (pg 255 just below your post there)
Will have to look around if I have any pics of the ex here, but be warned, she"s not that hot really.
As I said, she spent the night after at my place. She"s also been very supportive about the whole ex issue.
I"m still going to have my phone silent when we hang out, you never know.
We"ve also made plans for the weekend already, so I think I shipped around that iceberg quite ok, given how much of a pussy I was before.
Thanks FoHSS, you helped me grow a pair. I was able to show Jessie that I stand by her and won"t give in to the crazy woman.
In the end, it worked out for Jessie and me. We talked about the ex before already, and she knew what was going to happen. She also saw going down and sending her away from there as the better idea.
keg, I posted 1 profile photo of Jessie a few pages back. (pg 255 just below your post there)
Will have to look around if I have any pics of the ex here, but be warned, she"s not that hot really.
As I said, she spent the night after at my place. She"s also been very supportive about the whole ex issue.
I"m still going to have my phone silent when we hang out, you never know.
We"ve also made plans for the weekend already, so I think I shipped around that iceberg quite ok, given how much of a pussy I was before.
Thanks FoHSS, you helped me grow a pair. I was able to show Jessie that I stand by her and won"t give in to the crazy woman.
Alcestes makes a solid point w/ the quoted paragraph, maybe it wasn"t handled perfectly, but it was still handled enormously better than similar situations in the past so I gotta give props for improving anyway.
You got lucky that jessie put up with all the bs though. Most girls woulda bailed less than halfway through. I"m very curious how it/she turns out given how few girls I know that would be as patient as her, so keep the info comin.
Oh yea and you owe us pics big time. Don"t think this shit is free.
You got lucky that jessie put up with all the bs though. Most girls woulda bailed less than halfway through. I"m very curious how it/she turns out given how few girls I know that would be as patient as her, so keep the info comin.
Oh yea and you owe us pics big time. Don"t think this shit is free.
You did so much better than you probably would have 2 weeks ago, so it"s certainly an improvement. Jessie sounds very patient and like a overall nice girl. I think if your ex pulls that again, you should just inform her you will be obtaining a restraining order or just do it. It isn"t overreacting or being less manly when this crazy bitch is hiding under your balcony, harassing you, and has potential to do the same to Jessie or even worse - attack the poor girl.
How old is your crazy ex again?
How old is your crazy ex again?
Ronaan
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Fourtyfuckingfive...Ravvenn said:
in the end, I"ve really gone and found a younger woman now, just like she"s always told me I would. What she didn"t tell me is that she"d drive me away from her with crazy stuff first.
Jessie does have her issues/problems, but at least she"s aware of them and tries to keep them under control. And she tells me when I do something she doesn"t like, instead of waiting and kicking me in the nuts with it later. Because that"s what the ex did.
I love the "I"m going to accuse you of something you will do in the future and keep bringing it up until I drive you insane until you leave me JUST LIKE I SAID YOU WOULD" tactic. It"s rather flawless.Ronaan said:
I think Ronaan did the right thing in preventing. He is a preventer. He prevents bad things from happening.
So rather than learning to control the crazy like many do as they age, she hasembraced it.Ronaan said:
PoF update...Crazy influx of hot women who are all "special need" teachers or wanting to go back to school to teach autistic kids. Most are fake profiles /sigh. I need to lower my standards its been a while since I got a hot one to bite although I am still a hit with the women from Russia needing plane ticket money to come see me.
Wish I had a pic of the X on this comp. Met her in EQ, very hot but very crazy. The current ms howard stern or whatever was her gal pal...oh the stories.
Wish I had a pic of the X on this comp. Met her in EQ, very hot but very crazy. The current ms howard stern or whatever was her gal pal...oh the stories.
Ronaan
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The funny thing is, now that everything is settled and cleaned up (unless the ex starts more stalking crazy shit), Jessie told me she"s not sure she can develop the same feelings she had during the first two days again.
My fault because of saturday night"s fiasco, I"ll take the blame for that.
We"re still set up for cinema tonight, going to see what comes of it.
My fault because of saturday night"s fiasco, I"ll take the blame for that.
We"re still set up for cinema tonight, going to see what comes of it.
Shit, keep us updated after the cinema outing. That sounds bad. Sucks that happened this fast.
So Brad, what happened in the date? Is Ronaan the only person here with woes? Man, mine are boring, keep the misery and good times coming.
Pic: By "heart" I mean just a literal one. Some of us are bastards. xD
So Brad, what happened in the date? Is Ronaan the only person here with woes? Man, mine are boring, keep the misery and good times coming.
Pic: By "heart" I mean just a literal one. Some of us are bastards. xD
Eomer
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No woes here. Shit goes fantastic with Anne. Only concern I have is that things have moved awfully fast. I don"t mean that I am scared off or something, I really like her and don"t have a problem with it, but there"s always the concern that things aren"t quite mutual. But up to this point it seems that they very much are.Alcestis said:
She"s really fun to hang out with, and totally low maintenance. No curveballs or games at all, from what I"ve seen. And like I said, that almost makes me suspicious that something IS up. We were actually doing some pillow talk and she asked me if I thought she was hard to read, and my response was that no I she seemed to be pretty much an open book, but that in and of itself made me wonder if there was more to it. She basically said that nope, it is what it is.
So yeah, things go well!
Oh, bewbs! Unfortunately the pic is tiny, for some retarded reason picture texts to my BB I have to retrieve from a Telus website, instead of showing up on my phone. Weird.