Girls who broke your heart thread

Update on my asian adventures.

Hung out with the korean girl twice since last post a week ago. Sunday we went to an amusement park followed by DVD room (private room since we can"t go to each others apt due to distance). 5th date. Was a really good time. Korean girls are so much more affectionate than the American girls I knew. She always had hold of my arm or while in line she would maneuver herself against my body and put my hands around her stomach, or otherwise just always staying close. That shit is adorable to me. Yea it"s pda sorta but it"s kinda the norm here, and I don"t really care anyway since privacy is next to impossible in the city.

Ronaan I mimic your excitement since I haven"t met a chick near as interesting or fun to be around since my ex almost 3 years ago, but I keep it in check until I know she"s feeling the same. (For me the one step behind rule doesn"t work because girls are intimidated to put themselves out there in front of me. I can come off a little cold and unattainable at times I think. So typically I do a lot of initiating the verbal affection, then it"s reciprocated.) She"s really sexy, doesn"t suffer from pathological shyness like the rest of the country, despite the language and cultural gap she is able to understand pretty much everything I say, and we have the exact same humor.

I think we are together now, but I don"t actually know. I brought it up but since I"m super fuckin awkward at those things I didn"t speak clearly and it got lost in translation. She thought I just said "I like you" so she said it back. Haha fuck. I think she thinks we are, we both sorta act like it also. How the fuck do u approach that issue? I feel so lame saying it like I"m in happy days or somethin. I normally am opposed to bringing it up but here being a couple officially is quite important to develop trust and intimacy. Those things are sorta held back until you"re a couple.

Funny story, I showed my Korean coworker a picture of her and I together and he said "you look like you do it. Now u have to get married! " they don"t say no sex before marriage, they say you must marry after sex. Haha

Grayson Carlyle said:

I was referring to Stranger in a Strange Land. It"s quoted in there as well, from Jubal Harshaw to Ben.

Click to expand...

Is it? Must be during the sculpture discussion.... I don"t remember that. Guess I"ll have to reread it!

Update from me to keep the thread on topic: The ballroom dance suggestion is kind of funny. I"m actually pretty big into ballroom dance and we moved into an area where there are actually schools/classes/groups. I"ve started going to them again and dragged her along to a couple. She isn"t to much into all the dances, but found a couple she likes and we"re taking classes for those together. Things are better. She"s told me basically what Alcestis told me, it isn"t my job to keep her entertained, just be there if she needs me. It is kind of funny, we"ve managed to spend some time apart lately and talking about what we did while we were apart is a ton of fun, we"re having a lot of interesting conversations again.

The other night was the best though. We ended up walking around the downtown area and rather then pay the $1.50 per hour for parking (we stayed over the first 75 free minutes) we figured we"d wait till they closed and let us out free. So we people-watched the bar hoppers on the main drag, and basically just talked about the people walking by and that led to other stuff. I haven"t heard her laugh or seen her smile as much in a long time (again, the last two years have been pretty bad for us, ton of shit happened). When we were driving home she said she felt like she was high, and I made the joke that is what happiness feels like. She was like "oh yeah."

^ Glad to hear it"s working out for the better. A chick who doesn"t like ballroom dance and would rather walk around for hours than pay for parking? Sounds like a winner, in my opinion.

Dabamf: Assuming Korean girls aren"t much different, I"m thinking that she wouldn"t have a problem pushing you away emotionally/physically if shedidn"twant to be a couple. The subject usually comes naturally with no need for really thinking about it, from what I"ve seen. Very much a "cuddling in the DVD room, saying "hey, my coworker saw us the other day and said we looked "official". What do you think?"" kind of casual drop, if you even do it at all. You may even play to a "lost in translation" angle, i.e. "I wanted to say something the other day and I"m not sure if it came across the way I wanted it to. What do you think about X?" Then play to the reaction. You might even ask her to be your girlfriend, officially, if she"s into the ritual aspect. Tough call. Again, I"m an advocate of waiting it out until it"s so painfully obvious that merely bringing up the question is idiotic, but... that doesn"t work for everyone, heh. Being "official" means more to some than others. =)

Ronaan said:

Oh I am slowing down, no worries.

It"s just that we share so many views it"s almost scary. We really have a lot in common. Hobbies, music we like, general thoughts about life or people, that sort of stuff.

I"ll wait for her to say it first, just to be sure

Click to expand...

You just had your first date with her, like, 3 days ago. Getting along with her, having similar interests, enjoying her company and all that stuff is great, but that is, like someone else said, infatuation.

Do not touch that word with a 10 foot pole. Actually, how old is she? I know for people in the 18-26 range, that"d be an ultra-creepy killer, but maybe older women move faster, I guess you"re the pro in that department.

niteflyx said:

Actually, how old is she?

Click to expand...

28

niteflyx said:

I know for people in the 18-26 range, that"d be an ultra-creepy killer,but maybe older women move faster, I guess you"re the pro in that department.

Click to expand...

Oh haha well played

One more good thing about her: zero baggage. No damaged goods from what I can gather so far.
Still can"t believe I"ve finally met a sane, mentally stable woman (who is not married or similar yet).

Ronaan said:

One more good thing about her: zero baggage. No damaged goods from what I can gather so far.
Still can"t believe I"ve finally met a sane, mentally stable woman (who is not married or similar yet).

Click to expand...

That"s awesome, dude! But do keep in mind, you guys haven"t known each other for too long. Take it slow and enjoy all the awesome stuff you are doing right now. The understanding and love and all that stuff will come if it"s meant to happen.

Always, always, always in the back of your head, think, "If I said this to her right now, what would FOH say?" It would atleast have you second guess some things you may blurt out

WHAT WOULD FOH DO? Quick, someone get a tat.

Dabamf said:

Update on my asian adventures.

Funny story, I showed my Korean coworker a picture of her and I together and he said "you look like you do it. Now u have to get married! " they don"t say no sex before marriage, they say you must marry after sex. Haha

Click to expand...

Run. Dont look back. Run.

THANKS FOR THE UPDATE "CHAMO! ^5 BRO!

Would you two get a DVD Room already?

Ronaan said:

I"d call what I listed as "having a good feeling about things in general", but f semantics.

So what is love by your definition then?

Waking up next to her and just watching her sleep, feeling lots of happiness deep inside?
Being able to talk about just anything without feeling awkward?
Having her fall asleep with her head on my chest?
Agreeing on things without having to talk about them?


I know in the early stages (hell it"s not even 2 full days yet) there"s all that "new" stuff, but I have a feeling it won"t get "old" over time.
Don"t forget I"ve been after her for almost 8 weeks now, minus the time spent with psycho-Jessie (undo button plx). Somehow I have a feeling this time it"s going to work.

I do appreciate your concern and honesty though. I"d give +internets if I hadn"t already.

Click to expand...

Being in the same room, doing separate things, and enjoying them more because the other person is there.


Thats fucking love, sir.

..

aychamo_aycono said:

Hey leave me outa that I don"t even reply to the troll anymore. It must suck to be him, being inferior to me in every way possible, and dedicate his life to following my every post on an internet message board!

Click to expand...

If i could give you unlimited negs i would dedicate my life to it.

Picasso said:

If i could give you unlimited negs i would dedicate my life to it.

Click to expand...

Don"t aim too high, gotta keep those expectations low!

niteflyx said:

That"s awesome, dude! But do keep in mind, you guys haven"t known each other for too long. Take it slow and enjoy all the awesome stuff you are doing right now. The understanding and love and all that stuff will come if it"s meant to happen.

Always, always, always in the back of your head, think, "If I said this to her right now, what would FOH say?" It would atleast have you second guess some things you may blurt out

WHAT WOULD FOH DO? Quick, someone get a tat.

Click to expand...

Yeah, we"ve "known" each other for ~8 weeks, but without much interaction. We"re basically on the 4th day now and I am sticking with the advice of taking things slow.

Didn"t stop me from driving to her place at 11pm last night after work. Did the "sit in front of the tv and talk" thing, then went to bed a bit after midnight. We both had to get up at 6am so that was alright. Just waking up next to her was the best thing a day can possibly start with.

Drove right to work without stopping at my place. Arrived just in time. Changed t-shirts in the parking lot for a minimal effort at looking somewhat fresh. Got friendly ridicule from coworkers for that


WHAT WOULD FOH DO? will be my mantra from now on.

Also, my coworker (the guy that took me along to the party ~8 weeks ago and who also recommended I get that movie she was into) said it was bound to happen sooner or later, he knew she was into me all along.
Asshole could have dropped a hint or three

aychamo_aycono said:

Hey leave me outa that I don"t even reply to the troll anymore. It must suck to be him, being inferior to me in every way possible, and dedicate his life to following my every post on an internet message board!

Click to expand...

Parallel structure, bro. I"m not inferior to you in that!

Have you hung out 4 days straight? That is ultra dangerous, especially at the beginning. If you are really just awesome together you can get away with being around more frequently, but it"s a death sentence if you aren"t unavailable at times doing other things with friends or family. Don"t lose your individuality. It"s bad alone, but losing your individuality also has the added bonus of stripping you completely of any attractive qualities. Even if every day you BOTH can"t wait to see each other and want to ignore other activities or friends, taking time off anyway is essential. I kinds equate it to listening to a new song you like over and over. You may wanna hit repeat but if you keep doing it you pretty quickly grow to dislike the song.

Went out with Nineteen last night. Good evening. We played pool and had a small dinner. i was nervous for a decent part of the visit. When she left, she gave me a real big hug- no big deal, but she cupped the back of my head and ran her fingers through my hair. The hug lasted about 20 seconds.

Her sister had told me that she really liked me and had I not tried to control her before, she could have really fell for me. It has me worried, but not for myself, but for her.