Girls who broke your heart thread

Vim said:

After reading this whole thread, posting some personal experiences/questions...

I"ve become really curious on where you all stand on the whole finding someone to be with, potentially (ideally?), for the "rest of your life".

Do you all believe you can find someone to be with for "the rest of your life"?
Do you all want to find someone you can be with for "the rest of your life"?
Do you believe in being faithful to one person once you established a "serious" relationship and then proceeding to stick it out with them for...

Really curious on everyones stance on the subject.

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1. I believe you can find someone that you can be with for the rest of your life but as time passes it becomes increasingly harder and harder. Back in our grandparents time people did not travel as much and grew up around the same people and often married their high school sweethearts and everyone in and around their towns knew each other. The chances of people being unfaithful were lower because of this. Today people often live in various places throughout life and our busy lifestyles bring us in contact with new people of the opposite sex almost daily. It is a lot easier for one to be sidetracked and have lust for someone take over than it was years ago leading to the high divorce rates and cheating. This is only going to increase in modern times. The way many people cling on to antiquated religious beliefs only increases this as well. There is a reason the countries with the highest rates of religion and the bible belt in the south have the highest divorce rates in the world. Old unrealistic beliefs forces people to think they have to live in a perfect world/marriage and the slightest hiccups in that causes them to say fuck it and end things because they aren"t living their fairy tail life.

2. Yes it would be great to find someone to be with for the rest of my life. It will be very hard citing the things I posted in answer number one but I do believe it is possible. It takes really knowing someone and both parties being able to deal with and handle problems together when they arise.

3. Yes I believe in it but as I also stated in answer number 1 I can clearly see why today a lot of people do cheat. There are ample opportunities and humans being opportunistic beings often take advantage of them. When there is a will there is a way. Both people have to live up to their side and do the things that they did from the beginning and that they said they would do as a previous poster mentioned.

I am curious what others think about the things I said in answer number one as I have recently began discussing these things with some of my friends and it seems to be a very interesting topic.

Vim said:

Do you all believe you can find someone to be with for "the rest of your life"?
Do you all want to find someone you can be with for "the rest of your life"?
Do you believe in being faithful to one person once you established a "serious" relationship and then proceeding to stick it out with them for...Really curious on everyones stance on the subject.

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1.) I believe I have, actually.
2.) I did, and now that I have I"m very happy.
3.) My answer to this is kind of different. Neither of us believe sexual singularity is necessary to a trusting relationship. We"ve never "cheated" on each other because monogamy was never part of the deal, though I"ve still only ever had sex with her (was a virgin when we met), she had sex with another guy once. She told me about it in advance, got permission (this was all stuff we worked out) and just did it. Was a guy she worked with, gave me all the details when she got home. Then we had some pretty amazing sex.

We"re actually looking, well she is looking, for another girl because we"re interested in exploring that sexually. But it"d have to be someone we like on a personal level, it isn"t just about sex. I"ve seen successful polygamous relationships (and many more unsuccessful ones!) and maybe we"re heading in that direction, I don"t know. I do know could be happy just being with her for the rest of my life, I feel sure of that.

I realize we"re "outside the norm", or at least outside what people will admit to because "everybody lies about sex", but we"re very happy most of the time (I figure we have an average number of fights for a 5 year couple, none of them about sex and/or monogamy) and barring a recent move cutting us off from a lot of activities so we"ve been together almost 24/7 and occasionally getting on each other"s nerves because of it, the decision hasn"t dramatically impacted our relationship.

GrobbeeTrull2.0 said:

So, I got married. It"s pretty awesome. Way better than last time!

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5 years tops, Champ.

Brad2770 said:

5 months tops, Champ.

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Fixed. Maybe 6 if you pull the Grobbee Special on her.

Brad2770 said:

5 years tops, Champ.

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Quaint. The rube has an opinion!

Grobbee Special

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Left it in, man. That"s how babby is formed.

Vim said:

After reading this whole thread, posting some personal experiences/questions...

I"ve become really curious on where you all stand on the whole finding someone to be with, potentially (ideally?), for the "rest of your life".

Do you all believe you can find someone to be with for "the rest of your life"?

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Of course you can, there"s billions of people who have spent the rest of their lives with another person. Whether that happens or if it"s possible for every single person, that"s a whole other story. Some people obviously just aren"t cut out for monogamy either.

Do you all want to find someone you can be with for "the rest of your life"?

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I think so yeah. At this point of my life I"m not in any rush to find that person and would be perfectly happy not getting married until I was in my mid 30"s, but if I stumbled across the perfect woman tomorrow I wouldn"t run screaming if it resulted in marriage in a couple years.

Do you believe in being faithful to one person once you established a "serious" relationship and then proceeding to stick it out with them for..

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It totally depends on what your relationship is. If you"re both under the understanding that you"re monogamous, then you should be. On the flip side, I don"t know if I personally could remain faithful for the rest of my life, or how I would react if my wife cheated on me. I think that "open" relationships are probably destined for eventual failure, as well.

So let me get this straight ...

In a matter of like 24 hours you have made out a combined 5 hours and explored an abandoned house while not actually having sex with her .... are you going to homecoming with this chick or just going to knock over a few mailboxes with a baseball bat?

I"d also recommend not spending so much time together but it"s your relationship.

Well, if she"s a virgin, is it because she"s just waiting for the right guy/moment, or is she waiting for marriage? You obviously don"t want to be pushy or give her the impression that it"s all your after, but I"d clarify that fairly quickly.

I was not expecting it as she"s got a pierced tongue, pierced nose, and a ton of ear piercings

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It"s a trap.

Seriously though, I will second the "don"t spend so much time with them early on" statement. You"ll have seen her 3 times in a 4 day span, which might qualify as "too much". I"ve gotten myself into so much trouble for not listening to this rule and thinking "oh she WANTS to see me, this girl is different blah blah blah". Better to play it safe.

lost said:

Maybe one day she"ll wake up saying wow i see this guy too much he"s easy, next pls?

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If you"re too easy to date, they will bail. Yes this doesn"t make sense and women are retarded, but such is life.

I"ve been reading this thread since its inception, and I guess I"ll finally contribute a little story.

Started dating a girl back in late February, someone I met at work. We began by going out for drinks as friends/coworkers a few times in January/February and took it to the next step towards the end of February. Things progressed pretty quickly and by early March we were spending 5 or more days a week together and everything was great.

Before I met her I had planned a month-long study abroad trip for June, but I obviously didn"t mention it.

So May rolls around and we were surprisingly still together and going strong, so I knew I should tell her about my going away for a month. She seemed to take it well at first, but as June drew closer she became a little more distant and cold towards me. I was finally able to get her to admit me going away was the reason for this; she"s not one to talk much about emotions and feelings. So before I left we decided to make no promises about anything and see how things were when I got back.

When I got back in early July we got together and things just seemed off; we didn"t seem to click like we had before and I don"t think either of us missed the other as much as we expected during the month apart. We texted and chatted a little bit for the following days, but eventually our communication just tapered off and now it"s been over a week since we"ve talked.

I think the month apart really put the relationship into perspective for both of us; we both realized that we didn"t miss the other nearly as much as we expected and that led to a decrease in overall feelings.

Ironically, this worked out great for me because I was planning on breaking up with her at the end of the summer anyway. I"m going to be going abroad again for 9 months and didn"t want to deal with a long-distance relationship if we were still together. So I was saved the trouble of actually going through the process of officially breaking up.

Gonna post the exchange between me and one of the girls I mentioned last page, kind of running up against extremely limited responses that aren"t giving me much to go on (neither does her profile). Suggestions welcome!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Me: good old divorce line.

Her:Well x-hubby sorry all the money is gone..... I spent it all!

Me: Man, you blew all the money already? Pray tell, did you lose it in a game of poker or taking a trip "round the world? Do I at least get a boring slide show or embellished gambling story to make up for the huge hole in our finances? (two of the few interests she mentioned were poker and travelling)

Her: To tell ya the truth I went to Vegas and don"t remember a thing.....

Me: Not a thing hey? You didn"t also happen to be there on a stag and lost the groom did you? Why does that plot sound so familiar? I smell some plagiarism here!

I"m a little hurt that you don"t seem that broken up about our failed marriage!

Her: Oh i took it pretty hard that is why I dont remember anything lol



Keep in mind, she"s on 100+ favorites lists and probably gets a ton of email a day, so I would assume she"s at least moderately interested if she"s responding, I just can"t seem to get much past a quick sentence from her.

Oh, and I updated my description somewhat:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:See the interests above for further info, no sense repeating myself right? The list isn"t exhaustive, but it covers what I got up to yesterday . Ripping around on my crotch rocket is pretty fun as well, although it"s always an adventure seeing which soccer mom in a SUV will try to run me off the road. Travelling is definitely something I"d like to do more of, mostly a time issue, and I"d rather have someone along for the ride! I check out concerts as much as I can, big fan of live music (woo, Folk Fest approaches!).

Oh and since I"m sure you"re concerned about my "goals" or not being a "loser", you can rest assured that I have a cousin in Nigeria who has access to an inactive bank account with $45 million that simply requires a blank signed personal check from you to gain access to the funds... of course I"m kidding! Let"s just say I do alright for myself and tend to bathe in Cristal. No big thang.

Tooling around here to see if it"s any better than the usual avenues of meeting someone. Between work, fun, and travels I don"t have much of a chance to meet new people, so this seemed like it might bear fruit. Don"t be shy now!

I took the list of things I do out and just put them all under interests.

Eomer. With these women I get right to the point because they can jibber jabber all day long like this and just waste your time. Just flat out ask her if she wants to experience an "Other relationship". Aww just kidding. Let her know that as her x husband you"ve come into some extra money and would like to try to rekindle the romance and perhaps one day take her back to Vegas for the memories of a life time. Then tell her to text or call.

so any of you guys ever been toReal Social Dynamics Nation?

Pretty good articles and good forum that has awesome success stories from their bootcamp

Ralphus said:

Eomer. With these women I get right to the point because they can jibber jabber all day long like this and just waste your time. Just flat out ask her if she wants to experience an "Other relationship". Aww just kidding. Let her know that as her x husband you"ve come into some extra money and would like to try to rekindle the romance and perhaps one day take her back to Vegas for the memories of a life time. Then tell her to text or call.

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Heh, no dice!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Me: I"m sorry that you took our break-up so hard, it must have been so tough to spend five figures on a 3 day Vegas bender . I can only imagine the remorse you feel about the 15 pairs of shoes you bought on my credit card.

Our time apart allowed me to work my bag off and pickup a few big contracts, so don"t sweat the money, we"ll be okay. What say we try this thing again? This time minus the simultaneous affairs with our personal trainers and/or hair dressers, okay?

Her: I"m not so sure I can do that....

brekk said:

Don"t know exactly how to approach that.

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Don"t approach it. Acknowledge it, make eye contact and back away slowly like it"s a goddamn grizzly bear.

There"s crazy, and then there"s "you were my first" crazy. You"re not just playing with fire, it"s fucking napalm in a rusty container.