Girls who broke your heart thread
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Yeah good attitude Brad. You"ve got the date. If she thought you were rich then whatever you got the first date to impress her.
need some help...
used to play on a co-ed soccer team and one of the guys on my team had a smoking girlfriend that always came to the games. anywho, they recently broke up and I seized the opportunity. she works at a really nice salon/massage type place and i shot her a message on facebook that i"m trying to figure out something nice to get my mom for her birthday and need help with a salon package (really only way I could break the ice as we"ve never hung out and or talked much at the games)
we go back and forth tell her I have to run and ask her for her number and I"ll call her at the end of the week to collaborate on some more ideas...got the number so i"m gtg. now, I do plan on calling her and I have to talk about the birthday stuff, but I need to lead into asking her out for lunch or something this weekend and i"m trying to figure out a nonchalant way to casually go about it without seeming weird (we"ve never hung out/just broke up with her boyfriend) text..call.."hey wanna grab a bite to eat on sun"?
thanks again foh
used to play on a co-ed soccer team and one of the guys on my team had a smoking girlfriend that always came to the games. anywho, they recently broke up and I seized the opportunity. she works at a really nice salon/massage type place and i shot her a message on facebook that i"m trying to figure out something nice to get my mom for her birthday and need help with a salon package (really only way I could break the ice as we"ve never hung out and or talked much at the games)
we go back and forth tell her I have to run and ask her for her number and I"ll call her at the end of the week to collaborate on some more ideas...got the number so i"m gtg. now, I do plan on calling her and I have to talk about the birthday stuff, but I need to lead into asking her out for lunch or something this weekend and i"m trying to figure out a nonchalant way to casually go about it without seeming weird (we"ve never hung out/just broke up with her boyfriend) text..call.."hey wanna grab a bite to eat on sun"?
thanks again foh
Eomer
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Maybe it"s just me, but I think you"re starting off on a really wrong foot by pretty much deceiving her in to meeting you and getting her number. You"ll have to be pretty careful how you transfer from what was basically a business arrangement to something else.
hah not really... it really is my moms birthday soon and she likes spa type of things, haven"t "met" with her or anything, just told her I would call her later this week to see what the came up with
but yes the end goal would be to
a) get a birthday deal
b) get lunch with her
but yes the end goal would be to
a) get a birthday deal
b) get lunch with her
Brad2770
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Man, I dont really know your situation, but I have pretty much learned you have to tell the girl what you are gunna do, not ask.
Example:
Last night, I had been talking to that waitress already. Not a lot, because she was busy, but enough to get a feel that she was mildly interested. So, this is how the conversation went:
"I was talking to my friends here and we all agree this place would be a really nice place to bring a date."
"Yeah, it is. There are a lot of nice things about this place."
"So, I was thinking- Would it be too strange if I brought you here on our date?"
"Um, yeah, that would be strange. We should probably go somewhere else."
"Well, I am going to need your number to do that."
She gave me the number. I told her we would go out next Weds and that i would text her soon. Tell your spa-girl what you two are going to do.
Example:
Last night, I had been talking to that waitress already. Not a lot, because she was busy, but enough to get a feel that she was mildly interested. So, this is how the conversation went:
"I was talking to my friends here and we all agree this place would be a really nice place to bring a date."
"Yeah, it is. There are a lot of nice things about this place."
"So, I was thinking- Would it be too strange if I brought you here on our date?"
"Um, yeah, that would be strange. We should probably go somewhere else."
"Well, I am going to need your number to do that."
She gave me the number. I told her we would go out next Weds and that i would text her soon. Tell your spa-girl what you two are going to do.
You"re on the road to friends zone. During the meeting it is necessary to tell her your true feelings or she will cast you into the unavoidable dead zone quickly. Also as Eomer said she may feel put-off by you acting all "Oh I just need your help" act then saying it was a big ploy to date her.bofa said:
In fact it maybe a bit too late already.
man you guys are tough! hah I couldn"t just arbitrarily email her and be like "so hey i heard ya broke up with your bf..lets fuck" I needed an icebreaker as she lives in my old town that I moved out of a few months back, but I"m back there every weekend.
I figured I would call her on friday, see what she came up with and try to have a decent conversation after the ideas were thrown out...ask her what shes up to this weekend, tell her my plans and leave it at that. then sun shoot her a text seeing if she wants to grab something to eat before I head back.
her last email...
I figured I would call her on friday, see what she came up with and try to have a decent conversation after the ideas were thrown out...ask her what shes up to this weekend, tell her my plans and leave it at that. then sun shoot her a text seeing if she wants to grab something to eat before I head back.
her last email...
Yeah if the chick is interested you can do almost anything and it"ll work as long as you don"t do something really fucked up and stupid like send a package with a stuffed duck filled with rose pedals but honestly who the fuck would do that.
Use the "Tough Love" advice to texting, especially early on. If you are expecting an answerdo not text. Texting, at least early on, should be need-to-know information like "I"m running late" or "We"re having italian for dinner" and not really open-ended questions. 9/10 she"ll respond anyways with like "Ok" or "Alright" but don"t respond to those.
Not to mention asynchronous communication gives her too much opportunity to go over in her head reasons not to but synchronous communication forces her to make a snap decision. Rarely will a girl snap to "no" but think about it and say "yes." From my observations it"s generally the opposite. Also when she says yes force her to commit to a time. Don"t say like "Alright I"ll call you later to set it up" ... no don"t do bullshit like that. She says yes and you say "Ok I"ll pick you up at [time] and I"m thinking we"ll go [place]."
Not to mention asynchronous communication gives her too much opportunity to go over in her head reasons not to but synchronous communication forces her to make a snap decision. Rarely will a girl snap to "no" but think about it and say "yes." From my observations it"s generally the opposite. Also when she says yes force her to commit to a time. Don"t say like "Alright I"ll call you later to set it up" ... no don"t do bullshit like that. She says yes and you say "Ok I"ll pick you up at [time] and I"m thinking we"ll go [place]."
No they"ll snap to yes and then later rationalize it to no. It"s no secret girls are far more emotional than rational so a guy"s first judgement set is rational thinking where a girl"s will be emotional.
Not to mention if a girl doesn"t snap right away to thinking she wants to date you and has to convince herself she wants to ... do you really think it"ll last?
Not to mention if a girl doesn"t snap right away to thinking she wants to date you and has to convince herself she wants to ... do you really think it"ll last?
ahh gotcha, what"s protocol if ya get voicemail? "wanted to see if you wanted to grab a bite" still?
I don"t always agree with the whole "Don"t leave them a no option" personally. I"d just keep it brief but don"t sound nervous or rushed. Something like "Hey there [girl"s name] I was calling to see if you wanted to get a bite to eat [consider proposing a day/time here]"
Since she doesn"t know you saying "Sup bitch lets eat some food. You know my number call me, whore" may come off a bit too forward and creepy.
Since she doesn"t know you saying "Sup bitch lets eat some food. You know my number call me, whore" may come off a bit too forward and creepy.
That"s how i always do it, been successful with it so far. I"m recently single(a month) and god, as much as i"m happy i"m out of the last relationship, dating is way to much work lol. Reading this thread is pretty funny/interesting. And girls think only they over analize dating.Tenks said:
Eomer
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So, what the fuck, personal update!
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Nothing going on at all for me lady wise right now. I"m fucking around on PoF, but I"m losing interest in the site. It"s fucking near impossible to get responses from girls (I"d say 10-20%), whether using canned messages or original ones. And when you do, it"s like trying to talk with a wall most times. A couple girls I"ve chatted back and forth with for half a dozen messages, but then they go dark. Not really having much luck at all. I think that people who have commented on PoF"s free nature being as much of a negative as a positive are right. At least with paid sites you know the girls are serious about meeting someone. On PoF, not so much. Of course, I readily admit that my online "game" is probably not great, but fuck it"s kind of ridiculous.
Maybe it"s my imagination, but when I was fucking around on PoF back in January, it was a lot more productive.
I went camping with my friends a couple weeks ago, and met the girl that my bud"s girlfriend had been wanting to set me up with (and apparently she was in to anal). She was very mediocre looking. Face was maybe a 6 or 7, body was worse. She"s a hockey player and built like it. My bud when I asked if she was hot the previous week had demurred in front of his girlfriend (yeah, uh, she"s cute), and that alone was enough for me to know that there probably wasn"t much to get my hopes up about. I"ve never been one to fuck average chicks just for the sake of it, and I don"t see myself starting.
There was another girl on the trip, actually the trip was kind of her going away party. I was the first of my friends to show up (the rest were my bud"s GF"s friends), and I could tell right away that she was basically anyone"s for the taking. She was fairly cute and I"d have got on it, however a) another friend who"s pretty good with the ladies got there first and b) I ended up doing acid that night anyway. So we both won I guess.
The girl that I banged while in Japan (she"s from here) has also occasionally posted on my Facebook profile, and I would imagine I could hook up with her should I want to. She"s cute, but also 20 and not really what I"m after. Maybe she"d be up for some sport fucking, I don"t know, I"d rather not get back in to her pants and then realize I have a stage 5 clinger.
Anne wise, after the breakup I managed to be a good boy and not drunk dial, text or email her even once! We emailed back and forth a couple weeks back to make arrangements for her to get some festival tickets from me before she left town for a couple weeks, and last week I had her come by my place to pick them up. She had texted me asking if she could get them from me the next day, so I called her and asked what was up, that I was just picking them up from the festival office and if she wouldn"t mind, swinging by my place would be the easiest thing to do (the office was downtown, and it would have been a pain for me to try getting out of the downtown at that time). I could tell right away she was hesitant, but she agreed.
Timing wise it worked out well, I had just gotten home, gone up to my suite, grabbed a couple bags of garbage and my shopping bags and went back downstairs. As I walked out the back door, she was just pulling in. I walked over to the dumpster and tossed my shit in, and turned around to walk back to her car. She had just gotten out by then. I smiled and said hey, then we both looked down and saw that my shoe was untied. Before I knelt down I pulled out the ticket from my pocket and handed it to her, then tied my shoe lace. As I was doing that, she was pulling out her purse and fumbling around to get the money that the ticket was worth.
As I stood up I said "Hey, don"t worry about it, consider it an early bday present since you"ll be in Montreal for it." I then gave her a quick hug, and as I did that she was mumbling about not accepting it and wanting to pay for it. She didn"t really hug back, as it was quick and I don"t think she expected it. I cut her off, and said "I"m not going to take the money, so have a happy birthday, a good trip to Montreal, and enjoy the rest of the summer." I gave her a big smile, and turned around to walk down the alley to the grocery store down the street. About 30 feet away I turned around and gave her a wave and another smile, and she was just kind of standing there looking confused. Somehow I managed not to look back again.
When I got to the store though, I couldn"t resist any longer and sent her a text:
Me: If things ever change for you, don"t be shy or a stranger. Best of luck to you.
Her: Thank you very much. That was very kind of you. Maybe I can buy you a beer at the festival. If not, best of luck to you too.
And that"s been it since. It"s been about 5 weeks since we broke up officially, but realistically the relationship ended first or second week of June, if not earlier. I still think about her a lot, unfortunately. It was the first relationship I"ve been in where it didn"t start to feel like a chore to hang out with the other person after the first month or two, and it kind of opened my eyes as to why some people can"t exist without being in one. I"ve always been the opposite. I"m resigned to the fact that it"s over and done with, but part of me doesn"t want to admit at the same time. At this point I just want to move on. I think my best bet is to jump on the next reasonably attractive girl I come across, to catalyze the process, but as I"ve said that"s never really been my thing.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Nothing going on at all for me lady wise right now. I"m fucking around on PoF, but I"m losing interest in the site. It"s fucking near impossible to get responses from girls (I"d say 10-20%), whether using canned messages or original ones. And when you do, it"s like trying to talk with a wall most times. A couple girls I"ve chatted back and forth with for half a dozen messages, but then they go dark. Not really having much luck at all. I think that people who have commented on PoF"s free nature being as much of a negative as a positive are right. At least with paid sites you know the girls are serious about meeting someone. On PoF, not so much. Of course, I readily admit that my online "game" is probably not great, but fuck it"s kind of ridiculous.
Maybe it"s my imagination, but when I was fucking around on PoF back in January, it was a lot more productive.
I went camping with my friends a couple weeks ago, and met the girl that my bud"s girlfriend had been wanting to set me up with (and apparently she was in to anal). She was very mediocre looking. Face was maybe a 6 or 7, body was worse. She"s a hockey player and built like it. My bud when I asked if she was hot the previous week had demurred in front of his girlfriend (yeah, uh, she"s cute), and that alone was enough for me to know that there probably wasn"t much to get my hopes up about. I"ve never been one to fuck average chicks just for the sake of it, and I don"t see myself starting.
There was another girl on the trip, actually the trip was kind of her going away party. I was the first of my friends to show up (the rest were my bud"s GF"s friends), and I could tell right away that she was basically anyone"s for the taking. She was fairly cute and I"d have got on it, however a) another friend who"s pretty good with the ladies got there first and b) I ended up doing acid that night anyway. So we both won I guess.
The girl that I banged while in Japan (she"s from here) has also occasionally posted on my Facebook profile, and I would imagine I could hook up with her should I want to. She"s cute, but also 20 and not really what I"m after. Maybe she"d be up for some sport fucking, I don"t know, I"d rather not get back in to her pants and then realize I have a stage 5 clinger.
Anne wise, after the breakup I managed to be a good boy and not drunk dial, text or email her even once! We emailed back and forth a couple weeks back to make arrangements for her to get some festival tickets from me before she left town for a couple weeks, and last week I had her come by my place to pick them up. She had texted me asking if she could get them from me the next day, so I called her and asked what was up, that I was just picking them up from the festival office and if she wouldn"t mind, swinging by my place would be the easiest thing to do (the office was downtown, and it would have been a pain for me to try getting out of the downtown at that time). I could tell right away she was hesitant, but she agreed.
Timing wise it worked out well, I had just gotten home, gone up to my suite, grabbed a couple bags of garbage and my shopping bags and went back downstairs. As I walked out the back door, she was just pulling in. I walked over to the dumpster and tossed my shit in, and turned around to walk back to her car. She had just gotten out by then. I smiled and said hey, then we both looked down and saw that my shoe was untied. Before I knelt down I pulled out the ticket from my pocket and handed it to her, then tied my shoe lace. As I was doing that, she was pulling out her purse and fumbling around to get the money that the ticket was worth.
As I stood up I said "Hey, don"t worry about it, consider it an early bday present since you"ll be in Montreal for it." I then gave her a quick hug, and as I did that she was mumbling about not accepting it and wanting to pay for it. She didn"t really hug back, as it was quick and I don"t think she expected it. I cut her off, and said "I"m not going to take the money, so have a happy birthday, a good trip to Montreal, and enjoy the rest of the summer." I gave her a big smile, and turned around to walk down the alley to the grocery store down the street. About 30 feet away I turned around and gave her a wave and another smile, and she was just kind of standing there looking confused. Somehow I managed not to look back again.
When I got to the store though, I couldn"t resist any longer and sent her a text:
Me: If things ever change for you, don"t be shy or a stranger. Best of luck to you.
Her: Thank you very much. That was very kind of you. Maybe I can buy you a beer at the festival. If not, best of luck to you too.
And that"s been it since. It"s been about 5 weeks since we broke up officially, but realistically the relationship ended first or second week of June, if not earlier. I still think about her a lot, unfortunately. It was the first relationship I"ve been in where it didn"t start to feel like a chore to hang out with the other person after the first month or two, and it kind of opened my eyes as to why some people can"t exist without being in one. I"ve always been the opposite. I"m resigned to the fact that it"s over and done with, but part of me doesn"t want to admit at the same time. At this point I just want to move on. I think my best bet is to jump on the next reasonably attractive girl I come across, to catalyze the process, but as I"ve said that"s never really been my thing.