Girls who broke your heart thread

EmpireF4i said:

I havent dated anyone seriously for years now. Ive hooked up with exes and the random girls here and there but nothing that I would consider serious.

Anyway, theres this girl that Ive known for about 8 years now that Ive never met before in person. I think I first met her on AOL in a chatroom or something. She will be 22 next month and Ill be 29 in November. Ive never really asked her out because shes a lot younger than me, but tonight, I got a message on Facebook saying that she broke up with her boyfriend and she wants to hang out now.
She dated this guy for like 4-5 years but within the last few months shes been trying to get me to go out with her and I never could meet her. She had a boyfriend the last few times shes asked me out so I was never really that into meeting her, but now I think I might.

Heres a couple pics of said girl so you know what im dealing with here.
Shes on the right in the first pic, and the left on the second.

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2nd pic - right girl. Try to get her ^^

For the analysis of Dabamf and whoever else:

Invited the same Chinese girl as before to dinner and a movie today. She accepted, which indicated to me she knew what I was driving at (relationship) and welcomed it. Either that or she"s woefully naive.

So I"ll keep it brief, usual stuff leading up to the movie. I opted not to start off with a hug contra Dabamf"s suggestion. Figured I"d build to that crescendo. During the movie I made an initial hand-holding move which she seemed to be pretty uncomfortable with. Let her hand go and let it stew for a while. Made another grab at it a bit later, seemingly less uncomfortableness, and then a few more. But no mention of anything or acknowledgment of it after the movie.

Usual stuff, dinner, walking home after dinner I decided to throw out a bone. I say (in Chinese) something to the effect of "I"m sorry if I made you uncomfortable during the movie," just by way of trying to elicit a response (obviously I"m hoping for a "Don"t be, I"m really glad you did that..."). But of course this isn"t America and all I got was "No worries."

Although the night itself was perfectly enjoyable, I didn"t feel any reciprocity on the relationshippy-stuff end. I closed with a hug -- but it was one of those entirely one-way affairs, no motion on her part. Very awkward for me. Unsure what to think now. /shrug.

Ancalagon said:

Great advice, as ever. Having to accept no initiation of contact (communication, not physical) really sucks as it forces me to work without an interest gauge that is always available with western girls. Given a lack of hugging or even hand-holding, I"m wary of attempting a kiss. I feel like it"s pretty make-or-break, and if done in public it could cause a ton of awkwardness for her, even if she"d otherwise be amenable. If I end up hanging out with her this weekend I"ll at least keep my eyes peeled for a hug opportunity to get the ball rolling. And yeah, definitely pulling back a bit on the contact, though I might add I"m on something of a clock -- in two weeks I leave for Hong Kong and upon my return I move to a different area of the city, forty-five minutes by taxi from campus (she knows this). I"m more than willing to continue pursuit despite the (relatively small) distance, but would like to know with some surety that this is going somewhere before I depart.

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Hong Kong girls are nowhere near as shy as korean. there are quite a lot that have a taste for western guys and cruise LKF, they are more than willing to do anything from the first date onwards if they like you enough.

you just need to be willing to spend and buy them drinks, which can run 10-15 usd per drink at a decent bar.

local girls you meet here you can entertain a relationship, but beware abc or bbc (american born chinese and british born chinese). the parents can be very strict about them dating anyone non chinese, and more often than not i would guess they are just looking for fun rather than anything longterm.

That blond looks to have some nice tits.

Tyen said:

If he can pull the chick on the right than I see no problem why he can"t pull the chick on the left afterwards so he can have his girly relationship and still come out ontop.

^^^

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Haha fuck, you guys really have high hopes for me, cant say I wont try though.

Tyen said:

No, you are going to do it and take your balls out of your purse.

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Yes sir! Whats a pic of me with FOH on two pairs of tits going to get me?

niteflyx said:

Stop worrying and overanalyzing and just do it.

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Stopped worrying and overanalyzing and just did it.
In fact, to me the relationship started last monday (1st kiss counts!). We spent some time together, some time apart, not sitting on top of each other too much (who says I didn"t learn from mistakes heh)...

I know you guys are already preparing to /facepalm but still, have some more:

It seems we"re really compatible. Yeah I realize I said that last time, but that were my balls talking.
I"m a very physical person. That means if you"re my girlfriend and we"re sleeping next to each other, I want to be able to put my arm around you, or have your head resting on my chest, or spoon for a bit, whatever. I also sort of expect to be kissed once in a while when we"re going out. Not all the time, chewing each other"s face off, but maybe once or twice in an hour sounds good. Oh and there"s nothing wrong with walking through town hand-in-hand.

See, Steph (climber girl from the last desaster) really wasn"t up for any of that. She was nice, really hot, but just too distant. Or maybe I was too upclose. Either way, it was bound to fail.

Annie on the other hand is just as physical. I have come to the conclusion that she will be a much better partner *for me* than the last girl.

According to the friend through whom I"ve met her she"s also a very honest person. Sounds totally plausible.

I"ll report back if something unexpected happens, but for now I guess I"m done.
Yeah I thought that last time too. I know.

Ronaan said:

I"ll report back if something unexpected happens, but for now I guess I"m done.
Yeah I thought that last time too. I know.

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Cya in a couple of weeks

Maybe no one remembers, but I once asked for advice about asking out this girl at work here. I was really out of my element as I hadn"t dated in a really long time, was nervous for the first kiss and all that stuff.

Well, some things do work out. Celebrating a year tomorrow. Maybe it"s not a big deal to some people who have had long relationships, but this will be my longest (25 years old) and probably my best. I don"t want to throw out terms like marriage or whatever right now, but I can"t imagine things ever going better with a girl. We"re constantly on the same wavelength, sleep (real sleep) with eachother all the time, have sex quite often.. just really having an awesome time.

Just felt like posting, as I posted when I was first asking her out.

congrats. you"re a lucky man......for now.

brekk said:

so they"re prostitutes?

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huh?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Eomer said:

Heh, fair enough. I had been drinking for about 8 hours in the hot sun at that point, it"s amazing I could write anything coherent. Thanks again for the interpretation. I don"t really need any interpretation to the texts I"ll post below, just adding them to continue the narative or something.

So yesterday, again after having consumed far too much cider and beer in the hot sun, I was laying on the hill watching Stephen Paige, smoking a joint with my friends and I just felt so damn good about everything (this festival is like the 4 best days of the year, friends come in from out of town, you see dozens of regulars from years past etc etc). And that made me miss her (or maybe just someone in general), so I decided I would send my first drunk text knowing there wasn"t much point or possible good outcome.

11:10 - Me: This is officially my first and only drunk text: This would have been so much better with each other

11:22 - Her: Mine was last night, and I asked about toilets! I am such a loser! (ouch)

11:26 - Her: I did see you a few times, but didn"t want to say hi because I didn"t know if you would"ve been ok with that.

11:28 - Me: Ditto, I figured as much, about the same here The power of sunglasses!

11:29 - Her: Haha! What would we do with out them? Hope you had a great time regardless. Thanks again for the ticket.

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So nothing to report since those last texts, a little over a week ago. Then out of the blue, I get a text from her tonight:

"I just wanted to tell you that I have not been missing appointments because I use my BB calendar. I just thought you"d be proud "

When we were dating, every time I asked her what she was up to over the next couple days, she typically would have to pause and hum and hah and try to remember what she had planned, she used no daytimer. I showed her my BB and how it was really handy for that kind of shit. Sometime in the past month or two she got one, apparently.

So, Oracle, tell me what the fuck is up? All of our contact/communications since we"ve broken up has been faithfully posted here, and I think I"ve been a relatively good boy save for the drunken text I sent above. I"m just trying to move on and not think of her and not communicate with her. Is she fishing for something? Is this just random shit that I shouldn"t even pay attention to? (she always was kind of a random thinker) What does she want?

Fucking exes. I"ve seen Chuck like 10 times in the past couple weeks as well, I can"t seem to avoid them. Although in her case I don"t have any strong romantic feelings anymore, just a desire to do terrible things to her.

Ninja edit: 15 minutes later I got an email from her, but it was just a semi-mass email to basically all her close friends and family (no ex on there, second edit: strong possibility that ex is on there as an email address with the name changed in the client to match the address) advising of her new email address. No idea if that plays in to anything or not, but it does strike me as somewhat odd.

Eomer said:

I"m just trying to move on and not think of her and not communicate with her. Is she fishing for something? Is this just random shit that I shouldn"t even pay attention to? (she always was kind of a random thinker) What does she want?

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That"s what stuck out to me. The first line contradicts everything after it. If you are trying to move on and not think of her/communicate with her... then why do you care if she is fishing for something or wants something? IIRC, she broke it off with you right? She is probably just trying to keep a very casual link to you for whatever reason, who knows... maybe a safety line down the road, or maybe she sends random shit every once in a while to make herself feel better about dumping you, because she still sends cheeky texts vieled as some semblance of a friendship, that doesn"t exist atm really(?). Could be anything... but again, why do you really care if you are trying to move on from her?

Eomer it really isn"t that complicated. You and her broke up because you pussied your way into the friends zone. Now, as a friend, she is treating you like she treats her other friends.SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU ROMANTICALLY. You two are buds. You didn"t break up on bad terms and she holds no ill will towards you, she just doesn"t think you"re her sexmode.

Tenks said:

Eomer it really isn"t that complicated. You and her broke up because you pussied your way into the friends zone. Now, as a friend, she is treating you like she treats her other friends.SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU ROMANTICALLY. You two are buds. You didn"t break up on bad terms and she holds no ill will towards you, she just doesn"t think you"re her sexmode.

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Righto then.

Rica86 said:

That"s what stuck out to me. The first line contradicts everything after it. If you are trying to move on and not think of her/communicate with her... then why do you care if she is fishing for something or wants something?

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Notice it said "trying"? For whatever reason, she managed to do a good number on me, and I still definitely have feelings for her. So while I"m trying to avoid contact etc, which I have done (and I certainly haven"t given any indication I want to hang out as friends), when she contacts me out of the blue it makes me wonder what her motivation is and of course kicks me back in to thinking about her more.

It doesn"t help that I haven"t managed to find any passable randoms to hookup with, I"m sure that would help things along nicely. I was gonna see if Xerxes was up for a romp, but it appears her relationship with the other dude is going well. Poor guy. PoF is largely dead right now as its summer, and Match.com was a joke in terms of local representation.