Girls who broke your heart thread

rangoth said:

That sounds like the worst possible way to live that I could ever imagine.

EDIT: No disrespect meant, but I would never get married.

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Being an uber creeper and sending random girls packages a couple days after you meet them seems much worse to me.

Sutekh said:

Being an uber creeper and sending random girls packages a couple days after you meet them seems much worse to me.

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You should learn to read because you have that story about as ass backwards as possible. You wanna make fun of me for the package? That"s fine. I like a good joke and I can take a beating, but you didn"t get a single fact right in that statement.

Guanna"s sex life mirrors my own, and it"s nice. Sometimes you both go out, have fun, get a little worked up, and it"s a surefire lay.

Other times, you"re worked up and you just say "Hey, do me" and sometimes it works. Sometimes, it doesn"t. Usually it does.

rangoth said:

That sounds like the worst possible way to live that I could ever imagine.

EDIT: No disrespect meant, but I would never get married.

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none taken, but as (i think) Rodney Dangerfield once said, "Marriage is a great institution, but who the fuck wants to be institutionalized?"

I gave my package to your mom.

Ronaan said:

Well maybe it"s 20 lbs.

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Took a closer look today and it"s probably in the area of 10 lbs. Whatever, numbers. The overall package is looking alright, and she has a pretty face (at least to me it looks pretty).

Talked a bit and I asked her why she isn"t married and a mother of 2 yet. Her comeback to that was: "yeah I ask myself that sometimes". Not bad.
I also asked her to tell me about her long term relationships and she said she never really had any...
her friends are telling her she"s too picky.

Still haven"t managed to find out what"s wrong. Something has to be wrong. Will check for hidden penis next.

Ronaan said:

Took a closer look today and it"s probably in the area of 10 lbs. Whatever, numbers. The overall package is looking alright, and she has a pretty face (at least to me it looks pretty).

Talked a bit and I asked her why she isn"t married and a mother of 2 yet. Her comeback to that was: "yeah I ask myself that sometimes". Not bad.
I also asked her to tell me about her long term relationships and she said she never really had any...
her friends are telling her she"s too picky.

Still haven"t managed to find out what"s wrong. Something has to be wrong. Will check for hidden penis next.

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Stop worrying and overanalyzing and just do it. What"s a shittier outcome, you decide to go through with it and decide eh, she"s not for me, or you pass on her and possibly kick yourself in the ass for regretting not trying?

He"s just trying to look cool, let him be.

Troll another thread, jackass.

I was actually being serious about the last post..

The guys is obviously trying to tote to the likes of the people reading the thread, it"s obvious he"s super interested in this said cute girl and truely doesnt give a shit if there"s anything wrong with her.

Sutekh said:

I was actually being serious about the last post..

The guys is obviously trying to tote to the likes of the people reading the thread, it"s obvious he"s super interested in this said cute girl and truely doesnt give a shit if there"s anything wrong with her.

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Not quite, but whatever. I got so much good out of this thread that I"m letting people know when life is getting better.

Wouldn"t say I"m "super interested", just "interested" is good enough.

And the one thing "wrong" with her so far might be that she will want kids sooner or later, and I"m not really sure I do. Or rather, I knew 100% for the last 10 years that I wouldn"t want kids. That has changed a bit in the last 6 months though, and if things get serious enough I"ll have to think about it. But that"s a long way to go yet.

Ronaan said:

Not quite, but whatever. I got so much good out of this thread that I"m letting people know when life is getting better.

Wouldn"t say I"m "super interested", just "interested" is good enough.

And the one thing "wrong" with her so far might be that she will want kids sooner or later, and I"m not really sure I do. Or rather, I knew 100% for the last 10 years that I wouldn"t want kids. That has changed a bit in the last 6 months though, and if things get serious enough I"ll have to think about it. But that"s a long way to go yet.

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Not really worthy of a new thread, so this one matches the closest. Ex-wife is marrying some barely-employed douchebag in her mom"s back yard next month on the 16th. Need some present/entertainment ideas. Nothing strictly vulgar and insulting, like calling her a whore/bitch/whatever, just wildly inappropriate things, like guitar playing monkey-clowns, shit like that.

A new submission for those of you who"ve had experience with Asian girls in Asia (ideally Chinese). I"ll do my best to keep this brief:

I"m a 22-year old white male who"s been studying Chinese intensively in Beijing, and who will continue on living and working in Beijing for at least a year or two. This past Saturday a friend and I are hanging out in the convenience store of our Foreign Students Dorm, when a very pretty Chinese girl who"d been sitting alone at a nearby table approaches us. We all start talking, she"s a student at the university, mentions wanting to learn English and tells us she can help us with Chinese, etc. Conversation continues, friend eventually leaves, but the two of us continue talking for about an hour.

Absolute full disclosure: The girl is really attractive, and I"ve been really craving a relationship of late. Obviously I didn"t say anything of the sort to this chick (who, despite her initial claims to want English practice, is speaking almost exclusively in Chinese [as am I]), but this is just by way of informing you all that my "position", as it were, is weak. I"m talking with this chick for an hour and I already want to go out with her. We make plans to play ping-pong the next day, this past Sunday.

Sunday comes, weather sucks, we end up canceling ping-pong and instead go to a popular shopping area in Beijing. My read on American girls is limited; my read on Chinese girls is practically nonexistent. But the entire night together felt very date-like. Lots of doe-eyed staring at each other on both ends (and not just for lack of a fluid common-language), fair amount of body contact (she"d tug on my arm or play-punch me; I"d muss her hair or touch her face to teach her "glitter" in English), and some utterances that seemed like hints to me ("I so so so so so so like you"; "I really like western eyes and features"). No holding hands, let alone full out hugging/kissing, but I think that"s par-for-the-course in a Chinese relationship, which I"m not even sure this is.

So that night ends, I contact her by text the following day and see if she wants to do something the subsequent day. She gives a tentative yes, but says she may be unable to. Next day comes and she says she can"t. Knowing that Chinese people, and girls in particular, lie habitually, I decide that, not knowing if this is a blow-off for genuine reasons or not, I"ll let her make the next move if she so desires.

Following afternoon I, steadfast person that I am, having not heard from her (see below), break down, text to see if she wants to do dinner, she does, and we have another nice night of dinner and just random strolling around the campus. More playful touching and all-around playful cuteness, but still nothing absolutely indicative of impending relationship. We say goodbye again. This was yesterday.

Some thoughts/curiosities/questions:

1. Why was she "randomly" in the Foreign Students Dorm"s Convenience Store? It seems like to ask the question is to answer it, but some interesting points...

2. If she"s fishing for a foreign boyfriend, she"s done a weird job of expressing interest. Specifically, she"s been almost completely incommunicado when we"re not together, and I"ve initiated both "evenings" we"ve had.

3. If she"s just out for an English partner, (a) she sure as shit doesn"t go out of her way to practice it; she speaks a ton of Chinese when we"re together; (b) see above date-like actions and utterances.

4. She"s not just looking for a sugar-daddy. She"s treated to a bunch of things so far, albeit against my wishes.

5. Does she have a boyfriend? I"ve heard stories of guys getting to know Chinese girls over a period of weeks, thinking they"re en route to a relationship, only to be blindsided by said girl mentioning, nonchalantly, that she has a boyfriend. However I don"t *think* that"s the case here, reason being: She was willing to both eat at a popular restaurant on, and stroll around, campus alone with me. Not definitive, but maybe instructive.

Alright, too long already. I"ll close by asking: Should I make a concerted effort to feign disinterest contra my desires? I.e., let her make the next entreaty and if she should choose not to then so be it? If/when I meet her again, should I ask a direct question -- does she have a boyfriend, would she be interested? Or just take it slow? Thanks, pictures follows~

I will say that I have 0 experience with true asian women, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

I think you should pull back on the reins a bit and let her make the next move. If she texts you or tries to contact you in a few days, I think you should take a more aggressive stance and make your desires clear to her (I don"t mean ask her hand in marriage, but maybe play up the touching and see what she does). My feeling is that if she really does like you but is just shy/traditional, then she will tell you if you make the first big move. If she doesn"t message you back, you are probably in the friend zone. With an American girl I would have gone for the kiss on the first or second date (depending on how they went of course), but I don"t really have a handle on the acceptable timeframe for asians.

She likes Western Men, that"s why she was there, looking for a language partner.

PS. My last language partner turned out to be a wonderful lay.

I only know Korean, but I"m sure there are tons of similarities, and I had a hell of a time (and still do) trying to understand them. First, you may have been a little pushy about meeting up, offering 3 days in 3-4 days, yes? Cut it back a little. Send a couple texts a day, some days send none, call to chat 1-2 times a week, and offer a meetup about once a week, twicemaybe.This isn"t Asian girl advice, its every girl advice. You have to have/appear to have other things going on in your life.

Also, playing it cool with an Asian girl means not calling every day and some days giving no contact. It doesn"t mean letting her reinitiate contact. That is an automatic fail if you try to play that game. Asian girls don"t do that; they are ultra passive. Just accept now that you are going to suggest every date, and on top of that make all the scheduling sacrifices, at least at the beginning. Don"t even hope for reciprocation. If she lets you kiss her, she"s interested. That"s your only sign.

Last, you waited a bit too long to kiss her. Asians generally take fucking forever (at least Koreans, in particular) to progress sexually though so it"s not that big a deal. My real good korean buddy just lost his virginity at 25 (american age), another western guy I know just took a 31-year-old korean girl"s virginity. But anyway, 2nd date or 3rd date you should be kissing in order to set the tone for the relationship.

Remember, you are the foreign guy. You are exotic and bold and mysterious. You can call the shots anyway if you have the stature for it, but with an Asian girl, you can do essentially whatever you want. You can"t possibly be weird or rude or wrong or any negative individual evaluation, because she doesn"t know your culture and has no way to judge if you are these things, even if you are.

I racked my brain for weeks dealing with the first Korean girlfriend I had. I was always initiating everything, getting no reciprocation, she was also timid and either saying yes or no, never "no, but how about this friday?" It was all me. Drove me crazy, but that"s how it is. Just gotta realize that as a man wanting to date an Asian girl, you are gonna take charge of everything, lead everything, and initiate everything. Once you come to terms with it, there are actually quite a few good things about it.
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Story time, last week on Wednesday or Thursday I went out to lunch with this Korean girl I been talking about (I"ll call her Sun). Turns out she"s 31 (I"m 24) and owns the coffee shop that I met her at. Had a good time, but when the age came up I figured it was done with since Koreans are normally so concerned about age in friendships and dating, but she didn"t care in the least.

I could tell she was really into me, which fueled my confidence in further interactions. Well her store is on my way to Seoul when I go into the city so I stopped by a couple times, never predictable and always a day or 2 scattered where she never heard from me. Set up a date for tonight (Thurs night) which I just got back from.

Met her at the subway station and we took a bus to this really good restaurant near my house. It"s my favorite food in all of Korea so I wanted to take her there, plus being close to my house was a good thing. We had a good time, had a little to drink, but once again I did at least 80% of the talking. I know she"s a little shy, and a little quiet naturally (though so I am), and English isn"t her native language, but I"m seriously running out of things to talk about when the biggest thing she contributes is when I ask a particularly good open-ended question.

After dinner I suggested we go to the park near my apartment and have a beer. Get the beer, realize we need glasses, go up to my apartment to get them and end up staying there (I planned to go back to the park thinking she"d be uncomfortable spending a prolonged period of time in my apartment so early, but she settled right in). After a while she is sitting in my rolly chair and I"m on my bed, we"re chatting, and I grab her knees and pull her towards me and lean in to kiss her. She pulls back nervously, so I lean back again, and she leans back towards me to reinitiate the kiss. The entire thing was complete shyness, as I got the "kiss me" eyes (not a conscious look, but one I can pick out anywhere) within 1 minute of the date, so it certainly wasn"t a lack of attraction or desire.

We kissed for a very short period of time, no tongue or anything, and she locked up in shyness shortly afterward. I narrowly escaped a long awkward silence by thinking of another random thing to talk about. A bit later we kissed again, she pulled back after 2-3 seconds, so I did also, and she leaned back in, but again it was really light closed-mouth kissing.

The thing is, she was noticeably awkward kissing me. Now, this was only the 2nd date and Koreans tend to progress physically MUCH slower, in fact the Korean guy friend I had won"t even go for a kiss until he"s in a relationship with the girl. And when I tell him I kissed her on the 2nd date, as I did with my ex, he is gonna be shocked. But I have no idea how I am gonna handle it, because it is incredibly frustrating. I was looking forward to the date because she"s quite clearly intelligent, older, and gorgeous, but I feel like I am kissing a 12 year old when they act all timid and weird about a god damn closed-mouth kiss. And here I am thinking about sex for date 3-5, as is par in America, and she probably has had sex with like 2 people ever and only after a year of dating. And I could fast forward a bit of that, but I"m gonna have to deal with scared childish resistances even when she wants it just because that is the culture.

It"s frustrating as hell. I had a great time with her even if she was a bit quiet and timid, but afterwards I felt sort of unfulfilled, not because I didn"t get my dick wet, but because the awkwardness with the kissing just kinda ruined the rest of it, to some extent. It kinda kills the allure. Here you have some interesting new girl, only spent a handful of hours with her, good feelings all around, and the natural human progression of expressing that is interrupted by incredible awkwardness.

My Korean female friend tells me that they are not shy, they just act shy. And I"ve heard elsewhere to just plow through it and ignore resistance, being a little forceful, but I"m quite reluctant to do that for obvious (legal/ethical) reasons unless I know for a fact she wants what I"m doing.

Great advice, as ever. Having to accept no initiation of contact (communication, not physical) really sucks as it forces me to work without an interest gauge that is always available with western girls. Given a lack of hugging or even hand-holding, I"m wary of attempting a kiss. I feel like it"s pretty make-or-break, and if done in public it could cause a ton of awkwardness for her, even if she"d otherwise be amenable. If I end up hanging out with her this weekend I"ll at least keep my eyes peeled for a hug opportunity to get the ball rolling. And yeah, definitely pulling back a bit on the contact, though I might add I"m on something of a clock -- in two weeks I leave for Hong Kong and upon my return I move to a different area of the city, forty-five minutes by taxi from campus (she knows this). I"m more than willing to continue pursuit despite the (relatively small) distance, but would like to know with some surety that this is going somewhere before I depart.