You truly are a mad pussy slayer! I doubted before but your claimed clairvoyant like reading of vagina has convinced me.
Girls who broke your heart thread
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Braen
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Seriously, when I read this, this popped in my head...Brad2770 said:
Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin" a bitch out, and givin" a bitch a foot massage ain"t even the same fuckin" thing.
Vincent: It"s not. It"s the same ballpark.
Jules: Ain"t no fuckin" ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin" his wife"s feet, and stickin" your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain"t the same fuckin" ballpark, it ain"t the same league, it ain"t even the same fuckin" sport. Look, foot massages don"t mean shit.
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: [scoffs] Don"t be tellin" me about foot massages. I"m the foot fuckin" master.
Vincent: Given a lot of "em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don"t be ticklin" or nothin".
Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?
[Jules gives Vincent a long look, realizing he"s been set up]
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You give them a lot?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You know, I"m getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself.
Jules: Man, you best back off, I"m gittin" a little pissed here.
My turn:
I"ve been dating this awesome girl for two months - we get along amazingly. Same sense of humor, tastes, music, in fact we get along a bit too well and have to try to find things to jokingly disagree with. There"s an age gap though, she"s 21 and I"m 27 - but despite that we"re both in the same place of what we want in a relationship: intimate independence where we"re not smothering each other but still have something close.
Anyway, it"s great BUT anytime we have sex she"s distant for the week after. I might be reading too much into it but it"s just a feeling I get. When we do have sex she"s incredibly open, warm, gets off and is all smiles and kisses. But then, she"s just distant and withdrawn for a week after. Like she"s shut down and cold. By the next week we have a amazing date night, awesome sex, and her going distant again.
Anyway my hunch is this is a finite relationship. In September she"s got a full scholarship to finish graduate studies out of state. Perhaps she just doesn"t want to get too attached knowing it"s gonna end?
Any thoughts?
I"ve been dating this awesome girl for two months - we get along amazingly. Same sense of humor, tastes, music, in fact we get along a bit too well and have to try to find things to jokingly disagree with. There"s an age gap though, she"s 21 and I"m 27 - but despite that we"re both in the same place of what we want in a relationship: intimate independence where we"re not smothering each other but still have something close.
Anyway, it"s great BUT anytime we have sex she"s distant for the week after. I might be reading too much into it but it"s just a feeling I get. When we do have sex she"s incredibly open, warm, gets off and is all smiles and kisses. But then, she"s just distant and withdrawn for a week after. Like she"s shut down and cold. By the next week we have a amazing date night, awesome sex, and her going distant again.
Anyway my hunch is this is a finite relationship. In September she"s got a full scholarship to finish graduate studies out of state. Perhaps she just doesn"t want to get too attached knowing it"s gonna end?
Any thoughts?
what a god damn train wreck.Dantre said:
shit couldn"t possibly be going worse man.
gets distant for a week? that"s a week of hardcore fucking man.
bitch is cheating on you and has HIV.
you"re delusional, way too available, and you should realize by now it"s time to sever all ties and gtfo.
scholarship and inevitable geographic distance? pfft, what a bullshit reason to feel hesitant about pouring her affection and investing her time in you.
trust me man,allbitches are fucked up. they all lie. and they all are fucking other men. she"s just using you for attention, stringing you along. gtfo while you can. you"ll be thanking me later.
ps. am I a veteran TGWBYHT poster yet?
ToeMissile
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Haha, so on the money. I seriously thought it was a real post at first and thought "god not this again." Well done sir.Stratos said:
To OP, there"s too many possibilities to speculate. Ask her about it. Should be easy to tell if she gives / tries to give you a real answer, or if she gives you the run-around.
You could also buy her diamonds the next day after sex, and see if that helps.ToeMissile said:
Don"t try to guess what"s up with her; you"re not a mind reader, and whatever your guess is will be wrong. This is the best relationship advice I have ever heard (it came from my first sweetheart), it"s true, and every time I deviate from it I regret it. The fact you"re thinking it has something to do with sex is very likely wrong. You literally have no clue about what"s going on with her hot/cold status.
You"ve only been with her 2 months.
My advice is that if her brand of crazy is bugging you, ditch her. You"re NOT married, and you don"t have kids. That"s when you"ll be needing to put in effort on the talking front, not now.
Everything wrong with a relationship in it"s infancy only gets exaggerated the longer you"re together. If you think this is a problem now, you have no idea, IMO. Talking about both the distanced thing and the fact she doesn"t communicate shit to you.
If you want to always have to force her to tell you what"s going on in her head, by all means ask away and get that pattern going. And buy her some pantsuits, cuz she"ll be in the dude role for the rest of your relationship.
ToeMissile
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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While I understand what you"re saying, everyone needs a little push sometimes. That of course doesn"t mean coddle her, or on the contrary make demands and ultimatums. He should just bring it up and give her a chance to explain. Like Dabamf saidStoerm said:
Backstory:
I have a friend who I had a pretty big crush on all of last year, and I"m pretty sure she had a crush on me (at least for a while). I was a huge pussy back then and did nothing about it, just stayed friends. I had pretty much avoided her this semester b/c I felt awkward around her due to my girlfriend. About a week after we broke up, I got drunk and started texting my old friend. She became my new go to person to text while drunk, and I ended up telling her I had a crush on her last year. She asked why I didn"t do anything about it last year, I said I was a pussy back then, and she responded "way to finally man up!!" (she uses an absurd amount of exclamation points in all of her texts). Never talked about the crush again, but we have been talking more (while I"m sober even). She has also been wanting to meet up, she actually wants to watch the lion king together this week. I"m having trouble reading the situation, I can"t tell if she just wants to be friends or if this push to hang out more is her trying to give me an opportunity to ask her out. Any thoughts?
New Stuff:
So, I"m fairly sure that nothing is going to happen with my friend. I didn"t catch any signs while we watched the movie (though to be fair, we ended up having to watch it in a friends room, so there were other people in the room with us). The party tonight was kinda strange. First off, I think I"ve outgrown going to big keggers, not nearly as fun as just drinking with a small group of friends. Second, she was kinda weird with me. It felt like we were flirting, sorta, but it also could have been standard party banter. The part that was strange was that she was hugging everyone she knew, but she never hugged me, not sure what"s up with that. We did hang out quite a bit at the party, and when I told her I was bored/not drunk enough (not drunk at all really) she told me I couldn"t leave and forced me to drink her drink. She also told me that I should go dance with a girl, I replied that I don"t pick up chicks at parties, and she said I could just dance with the girl. I shrugged it off, said goodbye, and left.
I have a friend who I had a pretty big crush on all of last year, and I"m pretty sure she had a crush on me (at least for a while). I was a huge pussy back then and did nothing about it, just stayed friends. I had pretty much avoided her this semester b/c I felt awkward around her due to my girlfriend. About a week after we broke up, I got drunk and started texting my old friend. She became my new go to person to text while drunk, and I ended up telling her I had a crush on her last year. She asked why I didn"t do anything about it last year, I said I was a pussy back then, and she responded "way to finally man up!!" (she uses an absurd amount of exclamation points in all of her texts). Never talked about the crush again, but we have been talking more (while I"m sober even). She has also been wanting to meet up, she actually wants to watch the lion king together this week. I"m having trouble reading the situation, I can"t tell if she just wants to be friends or if this push to hang out more is her trying to give me an opportunity to ask her out. Any thoughts?
New Stuff:
So, I"m fairly sure that nothing is going to happen with my friend. I didn"t catch any signs while we watched the movie (though to be fair, we ended up having to watch it in a friends room, so there were other people in the room with us). The party tonight was kinda strange. First off, I think I"ve outgrown going to big keggers, not nearly as fun as just drinking with a small group of friends. Second, she was kinda weird with me. It felt like we were flirting, sorta, but it also could have been standard party banter. The part that was strange was that she was hugging everyone she knew, but she never hugged me, not sure what"s up with that. We did hang out quite a bit at the party, and when I told her I was bored/not drunk enough (not drunk at all really) she told me I couldn"t leave and forced me to drink her drink. She also told me that I should go dance with a girl, I replied that I don"t pick up chicks at parties, and she said I could just dance with the girl. I shrugged it off, said goodbye, and left.
Disagree. 2 months is no investment. If he feels for some reason he can"t do better, and wants to cling on to her, by all means start the process I described.ToeMissile said:
It"s basic psychology, and it"s irreversible once it starts. He"s obsessing about it. The time to ask about it would have been when he first noticed it, not after weeks of obsessing; wondering what her feelings are and what the hell is going on.
It doesn"t make him weak, or a pussy. It just means he fucked it up, and it"s only going to get worse if he chooses to pursue it.
What"s with all the advice to end a relationship the instant an issue comes up. There"s one thing that"s bugging you and "ok, that"s it we"re through."Stoerm said:
He could ask the girl about it, get a perfectly legit and understandable answer and the issue goes away like that. He didn"t even fuckin ask her yet and you"re sayin it"s time to break up. It"s preposterous.
Not at all what I said. Let"s not make this about a back and forth between us.Dabamf said:
I said he should stop obsessing about it. I said if he does, it"ll only get worse with time. I said if he decides he can"t stand her crazy, he should dump her. All of these things are true for every relationship that doesn"t have some sort of overriding commitment in place (kids, etc).
Don"t put words in my mouth, or text in my posts, whatever.
Not at all what I said. Let"s not make this about a back and forth between us. Express your opinion, fine, but don"t misrepresent what I wrote.Dabamf said:
I said he should stop obsessing about it. I said if he does, it"ll only get worse with time. I said if he decides he can"t stand her crazy ( I did use the term "bugging" instead of "can"t stand", granted), he should dump her. All of these things are true for every relationship that doesn"t have some sort of overriding commitment in place (kids, etc).
I also talked about "asking" about it at this point after letting it go on for awhile, and my opinion. I stand by my opinion. If she was ugly and fat do you think he"d be worried about her distanced behavior (as he perceives it, after sex)? Think about the dynamic of relationships. Nearly invariably, one person in a relationship will have the "dude" psychological role, and one will have the "bitch" role. I"m not talking finances, I"m talking about how the relationship works on a fundamental psychological footing whenever a "relationship" problem manifests. Obviously by my choice of words you can deduce which I prefer to be. He"s setting himself up to be the bitch in this budding relationship. Now, lots of people don"t mind that, including my brother and some friends. It"s important to not accidentally find yourself in that role though, which is what I was pointing out.
Most posts in this thread are about the undesirability of not being the Alpha in this psycho-emotional dynamic. Being "too available", etc, is exactly the same thing. It"s not a good way to get women, or keep them. Oh yes, my brother"s wife left him, and nearly all of my friends who took this role were left or cheated on by their wives. Marriage lengths ranging from 4 to 13 years. Good luck keeping a woman when you are the bitch.
You suggested he not ask her (I don"t know how to quote quotes). And with an early relationship there"s no reason to stick around and work out a problem. I put those 2 together to mean break up. Incorrect inference I guess.
So the suggestion is either accept that she"s distant for a week after sex or break up? Asking her whats up doesn"t turn him into "bitch role" automatically. You can say any combination of words on the planet and if you say it the right way it can come off any way you like it. A "what"s going on with you?" question can come off in a needy, don"t you like me anymore?, type way, or it can put her in the hotseat and make her qualify herself.
My objection was at the suggestion that asking her whats up is a bad idea. Make"s no sense.
So the suggestion is either accept that she"s distant for a week after sex or break up? Asking her whats up doesn"t turn him into "bitch role" automatically. You can say any combination of words on the planet and if you say it the right way it can come off any way you like it. A "what"s going on with you?" question can come off in a needy, don"t you like me anymore?, type way, or it can put her in the hotseat and make her qualify herself.
My objection was at the suggestion that asking her whats up is a bad idea. Make"s no sense.
Yesterday ended up being a really important day for me. I went to lunch with my ex"s best friend (also a good friend of mine) and was helping her with some shit and had a really good, long talk with her about our respective shit.
Last night I was finally able to do what I"ve been needing to do for the past month and a half and sever myself of my desire to still be with this girl. She"s been stringing me along hardcore and every time before when I"ve tried to say "This needs to either turn into something or stop", she"d do something/say something to bring me back into her little web.
I broke free of it last night and went ahead and let myself go do what I needed to do.
Last night I was finally able to do what I"ve been needing to do for the past month and a half and sever myself of my desire to still be with this girl. She"s been stringing me along hardcore and every time before when I"ve tried to say "This needs to either turn into something or stop", she"d do something/say something to bring me back into her little web.
I broke free of it last night and went ahead and let myself go do what I needed to do.
She"s not all that into you, and it"s time to move on. The first sign was her not hugging you; the second was her handing you her drink (you shouldn"t have taken it); and the final, most absolute sign that she"s JNTIY was her attempting to pawn you off to another girl.Dianetics08 said:
-edit- apparently I do fail at basic reading comprehension
Think you are mixing me up with another poster, and I don"t know if it matters, but she didn"t hand me her drink, she stuck her straw into my mouth.Whyme said: