Girls who broke your heart thread

If you want bar sluts, this is a good route.

Im gonna give you all the best advice ever.

1. Be yourself
2. Don"t worry what other people think

That is all you need from this thread. Unless your really ugly, then you need plastic surgery.

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A modest proposal: If, (not directly) after a first date, Party A (usually the guy) asks Party B on a second date, Party B must either (a) respond in the affirmative; (b) offer a valid excuse as to why s/he cannot make it AND OFFER A BETTER TIME/PLACE AT WHICH TO MEET; or (c) say straight-up s/he"s not interested in a second meeting.

Fuck asking people to meet up for a second time and getting a "sorry, can"t" response without an offer to do it at another, specific time. Leaves you looking/feeling like a douche having to ask again, some days later, to do something despite being pretty sure this person isn"t interested.

So I"m going on a first date with my best girl friend of 2+ years this week. I really have no idea how to play things with her, AT ALL. I generally do just fine with girls but this whole situation scares the living shit out of me; I can"t go in with a nonchalant attitude and just sweep this girl off her feet when she already knows me incredibly well.

Let me give the backstory:
We went to high school together, but she"s a year younger than me and while we knew of each other, you couldn"t say we were friends in high school. We became friends working a job together during our summers home from college. We got to know each other really well, and became great friends. We would complain about guys/girls to each other, talk about who we"ve hooked up with, all that typical guy/girl friendship bullshit.

Things had always been strictly platonic until the middle of this summer when I started to have feelings for her. I didn"t want this to become some cliche story where, "Guy falls for best friend, guy unloads how he feels about best friend, best friend gets weirded out, friendship is destroyed" because I honestly valued her friendship more and figured I"d just compartmentalize how I felt in my head and just try to move on. That"s pretty much exactly what I did and we both left for school at the end of the summer with nothing changed.

About a month into the school year she started to drop some hints that she was interested in me. I was stunned that she would do this (and fuck, she was less of a pussy than me!), but I saw my opportunity and figured I"d lay the cards on the table so I told her how I felt about her.

She said she had started feeling the same way about me late in the summer and had been too scared to say anything less she fuckup the friendship. Kinda funny (yet pathetic) that we had both had the same take on the situation.

In between the end of summer and now we"ve stayed in touch via text daily and talk on the phone maybe once or twice a week, but we"ve been doing that for the past two years simply as friends. Now that we"re both home for break for the past week together (we haven"t been home at the same time due to vacations until now), we hang out nearly every day (always have, same group of friends) and nothing physical has happened yet. Mind you, I haven"t really had the opportunity and to be honest, I don"t think I would have taken it because I think I still have the lingering feeling of it being weird making a move on one of my best friends (and neither of us have been drunk enough to use that wonderful crutch, alcohol, and throw caution to the wind).

That brings us to the date this week, should I treat this as a typical first date, which I think would probably involve me acting strange from her perspective. Or should I just treat it like any other time we hang out together? Do I go for the kiss at the end of the date? My biggest worry is playing things too fast for her.

If I had my way, we would cut the early relationship steps because we already spend more time together and know way more about each other than most people in their first few months of a relationship. I"m just not sure if she feels this way, nor do I know how to figure this out.

All of this is complicated by the fact that we both go back to school next week. We"re not going to end this break dating, I realize that it wouldn"t be fair to either of us as we won"t see each other for at least a month or two.

I can"t convince myself to take the who-gives-a-fuck attitude that I usually can when first talking to girls. The fact that I never thought her and I would come to this point, coupled with how well I know her (coolest girl I"ve ever met), make me especially not want to fuck this up and makes it even harder to be levelheaded about the situation.

Having just read through this, I really apologize for rambling so much. I guess I"m just asking for some general advice regarding this situation and maybe some reassurance that I"m not going to just fuck this up.

Please don"t tear into me too hard

Not to sound gay, but have you guys ever done any friendly cuddling or hand holding or anything of that sort? If not that is a good place to start since you obviously feel comfortable with each other. Try and set yourself up in a situation where you can work something like that in.

Make sure you don"t spend the whole night talking about your feelings for her. You don"t want to sound like you have been pining the whole time you have known her.

Make sure you treat her like like she is on a date and create that separation from your friendship and what you would like it to eventually become.

She is probably just as nervous as you, but really you guys have already been through the hard parts of getting to know each other.

Not giving a fuck is important because it shows that you don"t go on looks alone and are selective about a girl"s personality. That is completely not the case when you already know them. However it is still important to not come on too strongly and scare her away. Just proceed with cautious interest, and that"s how she should see it as well.

For the first date, I don"t really know anything about that transition. I like The Muze"s idea about just slow ramp up the touching. Maybe start with something like when you open the door for her, like on any other occasion, touch her mid back for a second or two and lead her inside, then withdrawl. Very gradually ramp up the intimacy. Don"t rush anything, but as always don"t puss out when the time comes.

She might bust on you and put you back on your heals when you transition to romantic interest to sorta test you out. It"s sorta involuntary. I don"t know if she will, but just be ready in case and don"t get flustered by it.

Foler said:

Im gonna give you all the best advice ever.

1. Be yourself
2. Don"t worry what other people think

That is all you need from this thread. Unless your really ugly, then you need plastic surgery.

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Fantastic advice. I"ll add some other equally brilliant ideas: If you"re depressed, just be happy! If you"re afraid of something, just don"t be afraid of it! If you"re dying, just live! Fuckin easy guys!

Foler said:

Im gonna give you all the best advice ever.

1. Be yourself
2. Don"t worry what other people think

That is all you need from this thread. Unless your really ugly, then you need plastic surgery.

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So, how"d the surgery work for ya?

Loftish v2 said:

Stuff

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Be yourself. Don"t change a thing. The worst thing you can do in this situation is to try to be someone you"re not - remember, she is attracted to YOU, not to some fake you that you made up to try and impress her. Also, don"t make the mistake of thinking that just because you "know each other" you can skip all of that early relationship stuff. NO! If anything I would take things even slower just because you have so much to lose.

Trust me when I tell you that you don"t want to wake up 3 months from now, already having slept with her and now in a serious committed relationship, and realize that neither of your hearts are in it anymore. Case in point, just because you are great friends doesn"t mean you"ll be great lovers, so tread carefully.

Just throwing this out there, but I had sex with my best (girl) friend over break and I feel kinda bad about it. Granted we both had a great time but it feels like the next time I see her it won"t be normal. Hope it works for you though man.

brekk said:

OKCupid, Plentyoffish, etc.

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Now is the time to do it, by the way. Plenty of relationships end around the holidays, and people come up with all kinds of silly goals and resolutions for the New Year, and I found that from January through April last year I was getting quite a few messages and responses from girls, but over the summer things slow considerably.

But the best way to meet other women is through hobbies, friends, that kind of thing. Most of the girls I"ve dated over the past year have been met through ski trips, for example. And even if you don"t date people you meet on trips or taking lessons or going for bike rides or whatever, you expand your circle of friends and there"s a good chance that they"ll know other single women that you might be interested in.

If you"re sitting at home playing video games 40 hours a week, working 40 hours a week, and going out twice a month to buy groceries and otherwise never leaving the house or your inner circle of friends then yes it will be difficult to meet anyone. Get out there and do shit. Even if you don"t meet anyone, it"s good for you.

Dabamf said:

Back from a 2 week vacation and only like 3 pages have gone on. Weak!

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It seems like if one of the regular posters doesn"t keep a narrative running, things tend to die off. But then if one of them does, other people come forward.

Warning, wall of text:

It"s been fairly slow for me. I"ve been on 3 ski trips so far. First one had several hotties on the bus, but they were really young and I didn"t make any effort to pursue them. At the 80"s party on hill I was flirting pretty heavily with two other tourguides, one I"d made out with in the past and one that I"d flirted with a few months previous, and then was also introduced to another girl (by other tourguides) that I"d actually met at Virgin Fest in Calgary last year. But I took the scattershot approach and didn"t end up with any of them, although to be quite honest I"m not after one night stands for the most part anyway.

Second trip I reaquainted myself with a girl I"d met on the same trip the year before, but had gone for Chuck instead. She made it pretty apparent from the get go she was still interested. I was loading the bus down below and went up into the cabin and her and a male friend were sitting in the second row, which I had intended to "save" for a couple friends getting picked up later. I said hey, great to see you again, but could you guys please move back a row? She said sure no problem, and asked if there was "anything else I needed." I actually didn"t play it well at all over the weekend, since I wasn"t sure if the dude she was with was with her or interested in her or what. It"s bad form to be the tourguide and swoop in on a customer"s play, at least in my opinion. So I barely talked with her the whole weekend. I was gonna ask her for her number when we got back to the parking lot, but she was gone before I had a chance to, so instead I messaged her on Facebook that she owed me a hug and her number, and went from there. She"s the one I went to the Flames game with last week. Right after our first kiss on my couch watching Life Aquatic later that night she blurted out "so what the hell, why didn"t you talk to me all weekend?" I explained that I was hesitant to potentially piss off a customer (on New Year"s some dude was about to try to kick my ass because I"d brushed against his GF on the dancefloor) since I didn"t know her situation. She laughed and said no the other guy was just a friend, 10 years older with a kid. So the first date went well, and she texted me the next day thanking me for the "great" evening. I texted her to wish her a happy NY on the 1st, and will give her a call tonight to see what her schedule"s like, as she works fulltime and takes MBA classes in the evening. Seems like a good catch.

Third trip was just this past weekend for New Year"s. I didn"t take a bus down, instead I elected to drive with a buddy. That was a mistake in retrospect. Normally the buses are sausage parties, but my bud guiding one bus had at least a 50/50 mix with a ton of attractive single girls on it. So instead of being on the bus establishing some groundwork, I was driving 600km with a bud. There was a "welcome party" on the Wednesday but by the time I got there at 11pm most people had left, as the buses had been on the road since 1pm and they"re licensed. New Year"s Eve, well, I"m sure I could have had some luck but I accidentally got so drunk I don"t remember a fucking thing and I"m quite sure I was about as unattractive as could be. I didn"t make too much of an ass out of myself apparently, all the other guides and friends on the trip said I was wildly entertaining and everyone had at least one or two stories of stupid shit I got up to (slapping the bouncer on the ass and saying "good hustle" upon returning from a smoke outside, for example) but I didn"t puke or piss myself or anything too ridiculous. Kind of pissed at myself, because I also missed out on a wicked day of skiing on New Year"s Day, which is always dead quiet and it had snowed a foot. They had a "beach party" on Friday, but I was still so hung over that I didn"t stick around past 10:30. My bud on the bus had brought a girl over that I chatted with for 20 minutes, but she had a nose piercing (ugh), so despite seeming to be pretty cool I just wasn"t interested. There was a super cute, fun girl on his bus that I had wanted to chat with a bit more (she"d been in our suite making food since they got fucked and ended up without a kitchen), but unfortunately didn"t have a chance to see her again. Probably for the best, even if she was interested she was 21 at most.

Tarrant220 said:

I"ve noticed this as well, I backed off my updates after a choice few became douches about it.

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More or less same thing here.

I worked New Year"s Eve and Day on Bourbon Street. Every time I get the chance to work on Bourbon for a special event I do very well. There are always a large number of single women who, drinking, have no inhibitions, and love to get a photograph with a man in uniform.

This time I got five numbers.

The first is a girl from Peru, who works in Mississippi. She"s the closest, we"re going dancing next weekend. She"s way younger than me, but really cute, and the accent is killer. She loved my really bad Spanish.

A girl from U. Cincinnati, down for the sugar bowl. I met her just before midnight and asked if she had anyone to kiss for New Years, she said no and we went to my squad car and kissed at midnight.

A girl from near my hometown who knew a lot of the people I went to high school with.

A really mean girl from U. of Tennessee who was smoking hot. I"ve texted her since and she"s a total bitch, removed the number from my phone.

A Florida Gator fan about to graduate. She was extremely cute and, in the course of talking to her, told me "(my last name) would sound great as her last name." I had to lol at how cheesy that was.

They"re all from out of state, but I try to keep in touch. You never know who is going to be a really good match for you.

Sounds like you can look forward to a long and prosperous career in law enforcement..

So, my ex called tonight and I answered. It was my son. I talked to him briefly. He asked me (again) if I would meet [his name]. I told him that I was busy, but maybe sometime soon.

I hate lying to him, but I have no interest in meeting the guy that will pretty much raise my son.

This is seriously the worst thing I have ever gone through..... I never even wanted children FOR THIS REASON EXACTLY.

I should have stuck to my guns and told her No, that I didnt want kids, but fuck is everything different when youre actually married and things are good.