Girls who broke your heart thread

Picasso said:

I would say he"s dating zero women, which he admits.

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There"s a difference between dating and being in a relationship. I go out with 3 out of the 4 at least once a week. Talked to the one that dropped off the planet yesterday and she said she lost her phone and didn"t have it backed up, but I got a cold shoulder vibe from her.

And then there were 3.

This thread has really helped me decipher what is bullshit and what is fact.

I met my ex"s soon to be husband tonight. Funny story, actually-

She manipulated me through my son this weekend. Used my guilt against me which made me cancel plans I had with my son so my ex could take him to do something. When I mentioned getting him all next weekend (after I had already given her what she wanted), she went back on our deal. I was furious and drove to her house so she could see my face. I wanted her to see how angry i was because she had done what she did. It didnt really phase her, but it finally made me realize that she is a real bitch. No doubt in my mind anymore.

While I was there, I went ahead and picked him up. Tonight, when i dropped him off, her dad tears into about some of the things that I said to her, so I informed him that he didnt have all the story and when i tried to tell him, he defended her, I told him he was pissing me off and that the conversation should end. I left.

I was tired of her manipulating me. I am tired of doing bullshit on her schedule. I sent her a text and told her I was meeting her "man" tonight. I drove to her house and waited. She told me that she wasnt going to do the meeting tonight. I wasnt taking No for an answer. They showed up and kept on driving. I followed them to her parents house. I got out of the car, told the guy he had nothing to worry about (The look of disgust on her face was another thing that reinforced the way i feel right now...) and we had a nice little conversation.

This thread has really helped me decipher what is bullshit and what is fact.

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I know I said that up top, but its worth saying again. This guy was no where near "gay". He is a big guy like me, maybe an inch shorter. Dark hair and thick beard. He has a deeper voice than me and dresses pretty much the same. Her comments about being gay was just the disarm me. Man, fuck...

Never again will I be fooled by a woman"s words. Once my ex realized she was done with me, she fed me any lie to lead me along while she figured out what she wanted at my expense. I believed her and all of her lies. But no more. Everything about her is fake, not just her tits and I wont fall for it anymore.

I took control tonight, Im going to do what i want when i want. By the end of the night, i ended up getting my son all next weekend. I dont care anymore if she is happy or not. I care if my son is happy and if I am happy. I think the last few days of me stepping into her life and shaking things up has made her uneasy. She told me later that she is close to an anxiety attack that she is having a hard time thinking. I love it.

I will start picking my son up at her house and befriending her new husband. He actually seems like a nice guy. We have similar tastes in cars and could probably be friends if not for my ex. This is going to be interesting. Not going to be a dick to him, her or my son, but not going to do things her way anymore. I am doing it my way.


Anyways, I think I needed this- the last two years, every guy that my ex has been with, I never met. This is the first time ever that I have seen my ex with another man. Making it REAL in my mind has really helped. I think I needed this a long time ago. I am glad I did what I did.


EDIT** Sorry for the bad english, but I had a few drinks with a friend after this went down.

Basically what i was trying to say- I was always trying to keep her happy too and I guess I finally realized that she didnt care how I felt, even if she said she did. I was believing her words and not paying attention to her actions. When I realized what she was doing (even though everyone had tried to tell me), I decided to take action and not let her bully me. I am not going to play by her rules anymore. I wont do anything out of line, but I am not worried about her happiness or comfort anymore.

Eomer said:

On an unrelated note to the current girl, Xerxes added me as a friend on Facebook last weekend out of nowhere. One or the other of us had removed the other sometime back last spring or summer, not sure why or when. So I added her and sent her a message asking what was up:

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She"s probably lonely/bored and looking for some easy fun. Limited profile? Really? I would have defriended her on the spot. You should really think about, in the future, standing up for yourself a bit more and not being so willing to talk to and please all of these girls. It makes you look spineless.

Brad said:

All that stuff

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Brad have you gotten that lawyer yet? I think now would be a very good time. While you define your behavior as "taking charge" (and I"m glad that it worked out for you this time), some might view those actions in a different light. Like, a scary light. Intimidating your wife into giving you what you want will not work for long. I understand that she is a bitch to play those games with you, but your current tactics will not cut the mustard in a court of law, and I could see her hiring an attorney and using these events against you, possibly even to take full custody.

It"s clear that your she knows how to push your buttons and relishes doing so. You need to stop playing into her hands, and I don"t mean by being an intimidating force. There are things that you are entitled to (such as visiting your son) and you should never let anything get int he way of that (why do you have to meet this guy anyway? Your approval or dissaproval of him will not change the fact that she will continue dating him. In other words, it doesn"t matter what you think of him, so why waste time?). Don"t let her complicate your situation. Go see your kid, and if she refuses to give you that, lawyer the fuck up and take her ass to court.

Whyme said:

She"s probably lonely/bored and looking for some easy fun. Limited profile? Really? I would have defriended her on the spot. You should really think about, in the future, standing up for yourself a bit more and not being so willing to talk to and please all of these girls. It makes you look spineless.

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Huh? Xerxes and I remained friends after we stopped dating and hung out a few times, so it"s not like I"m running back to her or somehow showing weakness. I might look her up, if anything just for the fun of smoking a joint and playing some Rock Band.

Evening went really well with Anna last night, she made a delicious Santa Fe chicken dish and some pie for dessert, we watched the last couple episodes of Lost as she tends to only get to see the last half if that. A nice little Monday I must say.

Eomer said:

Huh? Xerxes and I remained friends after we stopped dating and hung out a few times, so it"s not like I"m running back to her or somehow showing weakness. I might look her up, if anything just for the fun of smoking a joint and playing some Rock Band.

Evening went really well with Anna last night, she made a delicious Santa Fe chicken dish and some pie for dessert, we watched the last couple episodes of Lost as she tends to only get to see the last half if that. A nice little Monday I must say.

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She just added you on facebook. Stop trying to decipher it. It"s facebook. I thought we already went over the perils of taking facebook too seriously. My girlfriend was complaining my ex-GF occasionally (like, maybe once a month ... if that) posts on my FB wall. I was just like .... "It"s facebook. WTF."

Like others said. She probably just was bored.

Whyme said:

Advice.

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Getting a lawyer really wont help me. She is a good mom and the only way I am going to really get what I want (custody), I would have to prove she is an unfit mother.

Getting a lawyer for any other reason will only put me into the category of other dads that were given cookie cutter court rulings. The State of Texas does not like single dads.

Anyways, not going to talk about it anymore. Her life without me is real to me now. It"s what I needed.

This is worse than watching a train wreck:

Brad2770 said:

Getting a lawyer really wont help me.

Getting a lawyer for any other reason will only put me into the category of other dads that were given cookie cutter court rulings. The State of Texas does not like single dads.

Anyways, not going to talk about it anymore. Her life without me is real to me now. It"s what I needed.

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You know what else I bet the State of Texas doesn"t like? Single dads committing domestic violence against their former spouses.

I know you said you don"t want to talk about it anymore, but you need to at least listen. Whyme"s advice is sound.

I don"t know why some people think that the only reason you hire an attorney is to go to court. If that was the case, why do you think people have attorneys on retainer? The reason at least two of us think you need to see an attorney is so you can actually get some advice from an experienced family law practitioner. You may think everything"s going great in your world now, but what happens if your "great" conduct ends up with you having limited visits with your child under supervised settings? From what you"ve shown us on this board you would, in a word, explode.

I know you think professionals are ripoffs or wastes of time or whatever other preconceived notions you have deeply embedded in that brain of yours. Go.See.An.Attorney. Get the opinion of someone who actually, you know, works with "the State of Texas" on a daily basis. At the very very very least you need to understand how "the State of Texas" really works, and how you can take steps to minimize your exposure to losing the precious time you have with your child now (and you should feel some regret for not taking steps MONTHS ago to build a case for more time, if that"s what you want).

If you truly are done talking about this situation, don"t you even think about posting a month from now about how everything in your life has been ruined by your ex.

Having a lawyer isnt going to keep me from "exploding". Knowing that i can control myself is what keeps me from exploding.

The therapy that you guys pushed on me for the longest time has helped a lot. One of the biggest things is a string of questions I ask myself to get to the root of my problem. When I am sad/angry/upset, I ask myself these questions. A majority of the time, it boils down to me being upset with myself and the mistakes I made. I cant be upset at them (her or him) for that. I wouldnt do anything to them. If I did do something, I might feel good in the moment, but within a day, I would feel like absolute shit. Worse than i do now and on top of that, I would have very possible legal issues then.

I may be a giant ball of rage, but that"s why there are punching bags and mountain bikes. Im not worried about my actions. I am ok. I have my outlets.

I really do appreciate the concern whether its sincere or to make me out to be the retard I know I am sometimes, but if there is anything I can promise that wont happen, it will never be harm to her, him or anything that belongs to them. I am better than that. Way better than that. I do wish my ex would get her head out her ass, but there is ZERO I can do about that.

Going to an attorney would feel like I am preparing for battle and I dont want to fight. I just want the time with my son I deserve and the State of Texas thinks every other week is just fine. It"s not.

I am sorry I am not doing things exactly like you guys think I should, but I am "happy" with how I have handled things since the beginning of the year. There is a lot about me that I have worked on to change about myself. More than I have done before. The biggest is actually fighting for more time with my son.

Studies have shown that punching a punching bag when you are angry is actually bad to do. It trains you to want to punch something when you are mad and there isn"t always a punching bag available.

Eomer said:

Huh? Xerxes and I remained friends after we stopped dating and hung out a few times, so it"s not like I"m running back to her or somehow showing weakness. I might look her up, if anything just for the fun of smoking a joint and playing some Rock Band.

Evening went really well with Anna last night, she made a delicious Santa Fe chicken dish and some pie for dessert, we watched the last couple episodes of Lost as she tends to only get to see the last half if that. A nice little Monday I must say.

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What the hell? You dated a girl named xerxes?

Neither is buying a hooker. Now every time I get mad I get horny.

The Ancient said:

Neither is buying a hooker. Now every time I get mad I get horny.

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Seriously, every time I make a girl cry, I get horny. It"s pretty fucked up to me, but that"s what make-up sex is for.


Brad, it"s about time you put some pants on. If you let a woman walk on you, they will and think nothing of it or you. If you show you have a spine and say "Bitch, no. This is how it is," they"ll follow you forever.

intelnavi said:

Brad, it"s about time you put some pants on. If you let a woman walk on you, they will and think nothing of it or you. If you show you have a spine and say "Bitch, no. This is how it is," they"ll follow you forever.

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I know. thats what the last three days was- me standing up to her and not letting her control me anymore (or my time with my son)...

Anyways, this is the kind of shit I have to deal with:

The way she types is more than enough damning evidence.

Bitch ain"t getting off early.

The Ancient said:

The way she types is more than enough damning evidence.

Bitch ain"t getting off early.

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Oh, I know.

My visitation is set in paper... 1st and 3rd weekend of each month. So I am actually lucky to get what I get, but it is still not enough.

My son is 4.