Girls who broke your heart thread

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Badabidi_sl

shitlord
878
0
Brad2770 said:
She already knows she can. My divorce attorney never said she couldn"t. He basically said o have a good thing now and I should be happy. He finished it up by asking if I wanted to pursue what I wanted and I told him I didn"t know.
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You"ve randomly posted about how your wife has a good way of fucking you up whenever she feels like it, so you should seriously cover all of your bases - even with child support. Your way of doing it may be better but it"s always good to have it in writing. Hell who knows, you fix things up and be a good dad your kid might grow up to resent his mother later in life if she really ping pongs you around.
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
Tarrant220 said:
You"re not telling me anything I haven"t already felt. Northern Minnesota is fucked up, never move there, never get married there, never have kids there.

Anyways...

Brads situation may seem good on the outside but it can still heavily be manipulated on her side, she holds all control in the situation as she"s proved on more then one occasion. Even if you document money spent on the kids, and support given she can still go to court and demand child support and even go as far as to demand back child support. (yes this happened to me too, my divorce fucked me right over) Because in the eyes of the court, only money going through their system counts for anything.

There are dozens of things that could go wrong with how he"s doing things now, and off those dozens, dozens more could crop up off of those. Nothing will ever beat legal documentation, ever. Once it"s in paper it"s there and she can"t do shit about it. There"s no more, "oh it"s inconvenient for me to let you see him..." blah blah blah, tough shit, here"s the paper that says you do it or else.

"Oh I need money for...."

"Tough shit, I give you X amount in child support. "

She has no leverage anymore, she has no control and in the end for a person like that, it fucking kills them. If you want ultimate final word and to piss her off, take all the power from her, take all control she has over the situation over her and remove the ability from her to use your son as leverage.

And again, I"m speaking from experience.
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Good post. Brad, every time the board comes together with advice that is against what you instinctively want to do (which is what advice IS), you fight it tooth and nail with more vigor than Etoille eating a cheeseburger. It"s a god damn pain in the ass. Then finally you get beat down so much that you eventually are willing to listen, and HOLY SHIT IT WAS GOOD ADVICE. Look back at the therapy argument. 20 people yelling to go to a god damn counselor for pages and pages and you fighting it, then finally you give in and, in your own words, it has been working great.

You don"t like your visitation agreement. Your informal agreement allows your ex to manipulate you. And you really, really hate that. Coming here to complain also means that you really, really hate your visitation agreement.

You want your life to be unaffected by your ex"s manipulation attempts. She can currently manipulate you very easily. The solution is to make everything official. That"s your option. You can solve your problem that you really really hate, or you can embrace it for no reason.

She may get more money from you through the court. You may get more visitation. You may get less. Of course there"s no guaranteed answer. You can TRY to improve your situation, or you can do nothing about it and complain.

But if you aren"t gonna listen to people, stop posting for advice. It"s exhausting to see you do the same exact thing you did about the counselor. You"re so god damn stubborn.
 
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Hooby_foh

shitlord
0
0
Dabamf said:
Good post. Brad, every time the board comes together with advice that is against what you instinctively want to do (which is what advice IS), you fight it tooth and nail with more vigor than Etoille eating a cheeseburger.
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If anything will get through to him, that extremely graphic analogy might be it.


I lol"ed.
 
brekk

brekk

Dancing Dino Superstar
<Bronze Donator>
2,193
1,749
Sutekh said:
You missed it. Someone deleted the guys post after me, he was going around posting it in every thread and I beat him to it here.
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Oh I didn"t miss the other posts. I just don"t know why you felt the need to carry on that retardation to more threads.
 
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Ravvenn_sl

shitlord
14
0
Your attorney sounds pretty retarded if he thinks you have a good thing (unless you"re not giving out some important information here). I had a friend with a "good situation" like yours. Up until she (his ex) married someone else and sued him for unpaid support (her honeymoon), everything he paid through a shared account and checks (even where he put "child support" as the note) was considered a gift and he ended up owing several years of back-pay in child support (about $13,000 and his kid was 4-5). Maybe the Texas laws are different, but if they"re as backwards as you claim they are, and she randomly gets pissed at you and decides she wants some money, she"s going to sue you for back-pay and there"s probably not a damn thing you can do about it. Not once did this guy mention covering your ass and paying through the child support department?

It"s not a good thing, but it"s a good way to end up paying double in the long run.
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

Avatar of War Slayer
5,221
16,413
Im not leaving anything out. I didnt go into full detail, just the basics. I dont feel like trying to explain the full conversation now because-

I talked to my ex. I told her I was seriously considering a lawyer and fighting for set visitation with at least 2 or 3 days a week. She asked me why i was thinking about this and I told her how I felt. She asked me if it was really coming to this and i told her I was unhappy. Surprisingly enough, she didnt mention child support. We did agree on this (for now- Until I start school.):

I have 2 alternating weeks-
1st week: Saturday night through monday night. I take him to dinner on Weds night.
2nd week: Saturday night and Tuesday night.

I told her that if I had problems, I would get the ball rolling. She said she didnt want issues with me, that she wanted both of us to be happy without any third party aid.

We will see how it goes. I figured i would at least talk to her one more time before getting a judge involved.
 
C

Churchill_foh

shitlord
0
0
Brad2770 said:
Im not leaving anything out. I didnt go into full detail, just the basics. I dont feel like trying to explain the full conversation now because-

I talked to my ex. I told her I was seriously considering a lawyer and fighting for set visitation with at least 2 or 3 days a week. She asked me why i was thinking about this and I told her how I felt. She asked me if it was really coming to this and i told her I was unhappy. Surprisingly enough, she didnt mention child support. We did agree on this (for now- Until I start school.):

I have 2 alternating weeks-
1st week: Saturday night through monday night. I take him to dinner on Weds night.
2nd week: Saturday night and Tuesday night.

I told her that if I had problems, I would get the ball rolling. She said she didnt want issues with me, that she wanted both of us to be happy without any third party aid.

We will see how it goes. I figured i would at least talk to her one more time before getting a judge involved.
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...And then she has a bad case of PMS and decides to fuck you over.

Brad, I implore you to listen to the advice this board is giving you: get the god damn courts involved and make it official.

It doesn"t matter what your manipulative bitch of an ex-wife is telling you now, you *will* get fucked HARD if you continue on with this informal shit.
 
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Sinron_foh

shitlord
0
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Brad2770 said:
Im not leaving anything out. I didnt go into full detail, just the basics. I dont feel like trying to explain the full conversation now because-

I talked to my ex. I told her I was seriously considering a lawyer and fighting for set visitation with at least 2 or 3 days a week. She asked me why i was thinking about this and I told her how I felt. She asked me if it was really coming to this and i told her I was unhappy. Surprisingly enough, she didnt mention child support. We did agree on this (for now- Until I start school.):

I have 2 alternating weeks-
1st week: Saturday night through monday night. I take him to dinner on Weds night.
2nd week: Saturday night and Tuesday night.

I told her that if I had problems, I would get the ball rolling. She said she didnt want issues with me, that she wanted both of us to be happy without any third party aid.

We will see how it goes. I figured i would at least talk to her one more time before getting a judge involved.
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Get a lawyer. Sounds like your ex enjoys torturing you.
 
Sterling

Sterling

El Presidente
13,092
8,067
Why do you even ask for advice when you basically just do what you want anyways. Seriously, if after like 50 people tell you to get everything in writing you just go full retard and ignore it and have more informal bullshit that will likely end up blowing up in your face. That"s seriously fucking dense.
 
Zehnpai

Zehnpai

Molten Core Raider
399
1,245
manslayer said:
Why do you even ask for advice when you basically just do what you want anyways. Seriously, if after like 50 people tell you to get everything in writing you just go full retard and ignore it and have more informal bullshit that will likely end up blowing up in your face. That"s seriously fucking dense.
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Hi, welcome to the thread!
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

Avatar of War Slayer
5,221
16,413
manslayer said:
Why do you even ask for advice when you basically just do what you want anyways. Seriously, if after like 50 people tell you to get everything in writing you just go full retard and ignore it and have more informal bullshit that will likely end up blowing up in your face. That"s seriously fucking dense.
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Because I cant go out with guns blazing without giving her (or anyone, for that matter) some sort of heads up. She knows now that there will be consequences. If things go south, then it is on her. I deal with her family almost on a daily basis. I WORK with her dad. I would prefer things be easy going for me. Right now, I dont catch problems from her family (unless I bitch at her and she shows her dad text messages).

Papers or not, if she decided to keep my son from me one weekend, the worst that would happen is I show up with the police, they write up a report and I have to take her back to court and spend more money. They cant remove the child from her custody even if it was my weekend/time with him.
 
Azrayne

Azrayne

Irenicus did nothing wrong
2,161
786
This thread has convinced me that I"m never getting married without the mother of all prenup agreements. Thanks guys!
 
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Runnen_foh

shitlord
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0
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