Girls who broke your heart thread

To clarify, I think the deed will be done in the 6 months after her and her now boyfriend break up.

Brad2770 said:

Ok, I just got laid off about 2 hours ago.

Now the fun begins.

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Sucks sorry to hear that

Brad said:

Because I cant go out with guns blazing without giving her (or anyone, for that matter) some sort of heads up. She knows now that there will be consequences. If things go south, then it is on her. I deal with her family almost on a daily basis. I WORK with her dad. I would prefer things be easy going for me. Right now, I dont catch problems from her family (unless I bitch at her and she shows her dad text messages).

Papers or not, if she decided to keep my son from me one weekend, the worst that would happen is I show up with the police, they write up a report and I have to take her back to court and spend more money. They cant remove the child from her custody even if it was my weekend/time with him.

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Make it very clear to the ex that you"re NOT going to a lawyer because you"re upset about something that"s currently going on, or something that"s happened in the past. Make it clear that you"re doing it to reduce any problems for either side in the future, and that you feel it"s important to have a formal agreement in place for that reason. Not because you"re pissed off now, or because you"re getting a raw deal or a good deal or anything like that.

Make it clear that you"re doing it because shit like this needs to be done properly through formal channels, and that it doesn"t have to be confrontational for anyone.

I honestly don"t see what"s so difficult to understand here.

I know it"s an option, but I can fuck myself on this. My relationship with her to this point, I have never thought I needed to go that far to resolve our issues.

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Again, you"re looking at this from some huge confrontational perspective. While it may turn in to that, it doesn"t necessarily have to be.

Sorry to hear about your lay off.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:So here"s where I am at personally. Dinner with New Anne last week was fun and went well enough. For the record that"s the fifth date, for anyone keeping track. I enjoy her company and quite honestly would be fine continuing to see each other occasionally and keeping things casual. She"s certainly not been pushy about hanging out more (just the opposite) or anything like that, so I"m not quite sure what to do with her. If I was picking up signs she was falling head over heels or calling me all the time the decision would be easy and obvious. As it stands I"m not really sure.

Last weekend there was a nice British girl on my ski bus. Didn"t really see her much over the weekend nor have a chance to talk with her much, but when I messaged her on Facebook she was up for grabbing a drink. I told her I"d call her this week and she gave me her number.

Also last week my old neighbor flame from the gradeschool years looked me up again. We"ve chatted on and off a few times over the past year. So I"m supposed to go for a coffee or drink to "catch up" with her as well. No idea where that might go.

And while I was in Calgary over the weekend I looked up the long time friend that I messed around with back in December. We"d texted and talked a couple times since but our schedules never matched up. On the Friday I suggested I drop by after I got in to town, but she was already in bed by that time and said she"d be up here this week and she"d take me out on a "dinner date." I reminded her that she"d cooked dinner last time, and that it would be my birthday in a couple days, and she said great that we"d have to celebrate.

Busy week!

Must differ from state to state Florida wants half your unemployment check and the last time i drew any unemployment that would leave you with about $138 a week.

Jack Lemmons Balls said:

Its quite a complicated situation.

The way i had it planned out was i would have about 3 weeks or so left in the military when i got back from deployment. After that I was moving from Cali to NH, so it was quite a big move. I had the truck booked, i had a job lined up, and all that good stuff. When i got back from deployment is when she dropped a fucking bomb on my face. My problem was, that i couldnt do the move by myself financially. I lived on base, so as soon as my enlistment was up i had no job and nowhere to go. So unless i re-enlisted (which i didnt want to do), i had to move. In the 3 weeks time i decided i had no other choice then to move. I figured we would be in a new state, starting over on a clean slate. We would work shit out blah blah blah. Well i get to NH, my job falls through thanks to budget cuts, me and the wife arent getting along, and 1.5 years later here i am. Now comes the fun part! she has nowhere to go here, so if we split i will probably have to shell out a nice chunk of change to get her and her shit home to Cali. To make things even more complicated, we moved in with my folks untill we got on our feet here. Since then my dad retired and they rely on our income to keep up with the bills. If she goes i could still help out but it would be hard. This creates another problem as i want to get out of the house into my own place, but am unsure if things will work out for the folks. And you cant turn your back on your parents, thats just a given.

In retrospect, i should have left her ass behind and toughed out the move by myself sucking cock for gas in each state.

Thins would probably be a lot simpler now if i did that. :/

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Well looks like things are working out a bit better now. Called it off with her a few weeks back. Today she got the plane ticket to go home. 2 more weeks and she is 3000 miles away. Still a pain in the ass having her around for after breaking it off. Cant even talk to her without a fight starting. Oh well, 2 weeks and it will all be over with. Back to fucking my socks though, thats the only bad part.

A nice job opportunity has come up too. It pays 3 times what im making now, so im keeping my fingers crossed for that. Hope everything ties it self up in a nice little bow!

Dabamf said:

Hey math wizards, I said 6 month blocks. That means that your dibs on month 27.865 makes no sense. And no, you can"t call x period after the ex"s wedding, unless you know when the wedding is and do the math on your own.

Start time is April for sake of ease:
0-6 months:
7-12 months:
13-18 months: Inconsiderate
19-24 months: Stratos
25-30 months: Dabamf
31-36 months:

Etoille: clarify
Sutekh: clarify
Tenks: math fail
Brad (lol betting against yourself): clarify

There"s no money, just fail-predicting pride.

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Dude 3 month blocks? I got 19, 20, 21.

Eomer said:

Make it very clear to the ex that you"re NOT going to a lawyer because you"re upset about something that"s currently going on, or something that"s happened in the past. Make it clear that you"re doing it to reduce any problems for either side in the future, and that you feel it"s important to have a formal agreement in place for that reason. Not because you"re pissed off now, or because you"re getting a raw deal or a good deal or anything like that.

Make it clear that you"re doing it because shit like this needs to be done properly through formal channels, and that it doesn"t have to be confrontational for anyone.

I honestly don"t see what"s so difficult to understand here.



Again, you"re looking at this from some huge confrontational perspective. While it may turn in to that, it doesn"t necessarily have to be.

Sorry to hear about your lay off.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:So here"s where I am at personally. Dinner with New Anne last week was fun and went well enough. For the record that"s the fifth date, for anyone keeping track. I enjoy her company and quite honestly would be fine continuing to see each other occasionally and keeping things casual. She"s certainly not been pushy about hanging out more (just the opposite) or anything like that, so I"m not quite sure what to do with her. If I was picking up signs she was falling head over heels or calling me all the time the decision would be easy and obvious. As it stands I"m not really sure.

Last weekend there was a nice British girl on my ski bus. Didn"t really see her much over the weekend nor have a chance to talk with her much, but when I messaged her on Facebook she was up for grabbing a drink. I told her I"d call her this week and she gave me her number.

Also last week my old neighbor flame from the gradeschool years looked me up again. We"ve chatted on and off a few times over the past year. So I"m supposed to go for a coffee or drink to "catch up" with her as well. No idea where that might go.

And while I was in Calgary over the weekend I looked up the long time friend that I messed around with back in December. We"d texted and talked a couple times since but our schedules never matched up. On the Friday I suggested I drop by after I got in to town, but she was already in bed by that time and said she"d be up here this week and she"d take me out on a "dinner date." I reminded her that she"d cooked dinner last time, and that it would be my birthday in a couple days, and she said great that we"d have to celebrate.

Busy week!

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dude stop naming them all anne.

ffs.

OhSeven said:

@Brad

Look, just take these peoples good advice. Or if you really want to go through with the shit just come over to my place, Pay me 20 dollars, I"ll take you out back, kick you in the nuts, and we"ll call it a day. Lots of time, energy, pain and money saved for roughly the same feeling.

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What can I get for 10 bucks? Seeing as I am now unemployed, i think thats all I can afford for now.

Ok good call on 3 month blocks. I moved people arbitrarily to a 3 month block within the 6-mo block they chose. And moved myself to fill an earlier gap.

Dabamf said:

Start time is April 2010. That is Month #1. So 1-3 is April, May, June.
1-3:
4-6: Saynac
7-9: Tenks
10-12: Dabamf
13-15: Inconsiderate
16-18:
19-21: Etoille
22-24: Stratos
25-27:
28-30:
31-33:
34-36:

Sutekh: you gotta pick something concrete

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Sorry to hear that you lost your job Brad. But, I will still keep this chart running unless you decide to go to court (of course waiting on a new source of income to pay lawyer fees is reasonable). We gotta get SOME satisfaction out of this, and in the absence of being listened to, betting on failure is the next best thing.

She will not go for it when he is unemployed. Find a new job quickly, Brad, or you just ruined our game.

Dabamf said:

Ok good call on 3 month blocks. I moved people arbitrarily to a 3 month block within the 6-mo block they chose. And moved myself to fill an earlier gap.


Sorry to hear that you lost your job Brad. But, I will still keep this chart running unless you decide to go to court (of course waiting on a new source of income to pay lawyer fees is reasonable). We gotta get SOME satisfaction out of this, and in the absence of being listened to, betting on failure is the next best thing.

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I"ll grab the 16-18 month block then.

Sorry about your job Brad. On the upside, if you ever wanted to do something different, now is the time to go looking.

I"ll take 1-3. I"m too impatient to keep waiting for two years.

Plus Brad lives in some kind of accelerated world where you don"t check the thread for two days and suddenly he"s moved in with an 18 year old, decided he loves her, then moved out and decided he"s still hung up on his ex-wife.

Etoille said:

dude stop naming them all anne.

ffs.

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eh? There"s just the "main one" and the "New One", and I got sick of typing Annabelle! It"s really not that confusing!

Long time lurker first time SS poster.

Recently I"ve started in believing in what my friends have been telling me for years, that I"m too picky and I"m too patient and I take things way too slow.

I"ve been in several relationships (I"m young 23) and I"ve never seen anything promising in any of them or within the woman for that matter. I have this bad habit of summing up a woman when I first meet them, call it intuition but usually I"m able to tell how far a relationship will go before I get into one. There is only girl I have ever EVER met that I would literally go to the ends of the earth and back for. She"s the most beautiful woman I know, her values are incredible, she"s very funny, shes the type of person that lights up a room, she"s down to earth and open minded and listens to her parents very well (who were both genius doctors at one time that speak 5 different languages.) And I know, I"m describing everyone"s dream girl practically but even I will admit shes not perfect, I know her physical, mental flaws really well, but for some reason I CANNOT get over her that and the strongest attribute she has (the main reason I"m completely infatuated with her) is I think she will make a damn good mom, if not the best in the world. One problem, she dates a guy twice her age (shes 22 and the guy is 38 something) because she had one bad experience with her first love (13 year old crush) and says most guys are immature.

She tends to be attracted to guys who ignore her, because everyone she hangs around usually falls for her eventually. When I met her, I was instantly attracted, I never ditched class for a woman in my life until I met this woman, hell I never exerted more effort in impressing a woman until I met her and we met 2 years ago. I was so aggressive with her compared to any other woman in my life and then I found out she had a boyfriend, which is fine. The only reason I"m still contact with her is I made a promise to be her friend, and she was there for me when my father died. We are still friends to this day, not close enough to be friends friends but not far away to be stranger friends. I had one opportunity to take her out on a date when she was vulnerable and her boyfriend said he refused to convert to Islam and other little things annoyed her. I told myself, if she"s really going to break up with him, I shouldn"t rush into it, I chose to raid kill a 10 man Mmirion with my guild instead of going out with her.

I tell my friends, what happens happens in life, if she ends up rushing things which she tends to do, 3-5 years from now she will be unhappy and maybe we will meet again. My only concern is she"s from a Middle Eastern background, that is, you don"t get divorced in this type of culture. She"s been with this guy for 3 years, I"ve met him, he"s like a grownup kid but I"m bias. She"s in a different country to spend time with cousins, she won"t be back till the summer.Now,I figure I have a couple ways of playing this out,1st optionis to sever the friendship, move on, maybe contact her later on,2nd optionis to possibly go along with her to the same med school in where we prob spend next 2 years of our life near each other, let nature take it"s course, she has a very bad memory, and is attracted to whoever is relatively close to her. My3rd optionis to go all out, let her know my feelings (don"t know whether I should down talk her current BF or how I think she will be unhappy in the future) and throw it all out on the table and walk away. This is like option 1, but option 1 will give her no closure. She has bad experiences with getting no closure.

I"m know I wrote an essay, but to be honest, I grew up with these boards, these boards have some of the most intelligent underrated people I know lurking. I figure someone would have wisdom or advice to lend.

owakefka said:

I have this bad habit of summing up a woman when I first meet them, call it intuition but usually I"m able to tell how far a relationship will go before I get into one.

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It"s not intuition, if you"ve decided how things are going to go from the start, then that is how they will go.

Also all 3 option are terrible. You need to realise that you"ll never be with this girl and move on. You might not like her boyfriend, but she obviously does. If she liked you more, she"d be with you. She doesn"t. She won"t ever "come around", she won"t ever wake up and realise how great you are and if you throw out some grand "romantic" gesture it"ll just make her uncomfortable and make you completely unattractive. All 3 of your options are designed to get you into her life one way or another. It will never happen, not now and not in 2 years of not talking/med school/whatever.

Also anyone who tries to force/coerce anyone else into adopting a religion is an idiot on mulitple levels.