Girls who broke your heart thread

Since my ex has gotten married, her and I have actually gotten along very well. So much so, that there is humor and laughing between us again. Instead of joining in, anytime I pick up my son or drop him off, her husband chooses to keep to himself. I have shown the man respect by shaking his hand when I am in the same area as him- Like when we first met and the 2 times I have seen him at her parent"s house. The times that he has had the control on whether or not he has seen me, he "runs" away or stays inside.

Last night, I sent my ex a text asking if my son liked his new game I bought for him for his DS. Her husband responded that she was asleep and that I should stop talking to "his wife".

I am a little happy knowing he is uneasy with us talking, but I see our times of getting along coming to an end soon. It sucks. I havent been able to get along with her for over 2 years and now that we are, she will probably end it because of someone"s insecurities.

Well, I do kind of act like Hank from Californication when it comes to her (well, I have been lately... not until after she was married). So, he may kind of be referring to that, but was he was not specific. One example:

Me: "Some chic I know or used to know just sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to the new Twilight movie" (This was a number I didnt recognize and was on the night it came out)

Her: "Tell her you accept!"

Me: "Hell no, not sure which one it is and I am not brave enough to find out"

Her: "You should. You might get lucky!"

Me (about 20 minutes later): "You sly dog, I just realized it"s your old number. I accept!" (She got a new phone when she got married)

Her: "LOL, whatever, dork"

Anyways, along with regular jokes and conversation, which has included our son, I have thrown in a few things like that. Nothing too forward. But now I know he checks her phone, so that kind of sucks that he is already like that.

Tarrant220 said:

Also if you"re getting along as well as you think you are then chances are she will take your side on it too. Either way you need to make it known in a non confrontational way that that kind of thing is not acceptable.

Click to expand...

Well, her and I got into an argument yesterday based off of how I handle conversations with my son. When she asks me if I can get him at a certain time or have him home at a certain time, i always respond with "I can" and she said it makes her feel like I am doing something out of my way or that I am doing her a big favor. It pissed me off because I say it that way to be nice because in reality, I HATE asking to see my son. I HATE that my time with him is timed.

Now, I know if I had fixed visitation, I wouldnt have to, but I like how things are now. I get to see him anytime I want. But it"s the fact that I have to ask for something no parent should have to ask.


It was just how she approached me on it and proceeded to complain with how I handle something I am not comfortable with. It"s the first time we argued since May. I am not sure if he checked her messages because of that or if it was because she was asleep and he saw her phone go off or what.

I dont expect her to take my side, but I dont think she will really be mad at me.

double post

Fixed visitation would be worse for me. I like being able to call her up, when I feel like seeing him, and more than likely being able to pick him up. It doesnt mean I have to like it. I dont like it. I am learning to cope with it. But she questioned my way of handling it and it"s none of her concern. It doesnt hurt her.

And fixed visitation would be worse. Wanting to see my son and knowing I would have to wait X amount more days would be way worse than just calling her up and saying "I want [my son] tomorrow. Thanks."

Bottom line, I hate sharing my son. So hate on me if you feel like it. The way it is now, even with my minor bitching, it"s what"s best for my son and myself.

I see the good in both of them, but both of them do not make me happy. That"s all I am saying.

The way I have it now, i see him when i want, but I have to call and ask. Sometimes, i have to deal with her saying "I am sorry, but I have plans", but I see him more like this and I HATE asking to see him.

With fixed visitation, I dont have to call. I dont have to ask. I just show up on Friday at 6pm and have him home Sunday by 6pm. It"s very simple, but then I dont have the ability to just come get him when i want.

I dont like either system. I am selfish and want him 100% all the time. Nothing wrong with me feeling that way. It"s like people bitching about their work. there will always be something you have to bitch about, even with the perfect job.

Brad2770 said:

I dont have the ability to just come get him when i want.

Click to expand...

Uh...yeah you do.

Zehn - Vhex said:

Uh...yeah you do.

Click to expand...

Then enlighten me. I have talked to 2 lawyers and both have prety much told me what I have posted before- I dont stand much of a chance, but they would love to take my money and try.

I for one think heavy flirty with the now-married-exwife-mother-of-my-child is a fantastic idea.

Prediction: Brad"s ex will get in a big fight with her husband at some point in the future and she"ll cheat on him with Brad.

It"s obvious Brad has been in legal troubles of some sort. He"s scared that when he brings them to court that she"ll get offended and bring up his criminal record then he"ll never be able to see his son again.

I have no criminal record. I have been arrested twice for getting into fights, but both charges dropped. I have no convictions.

Tarrant220 said:

........................

I don"t have a facepalm or sigh large enough for this. Your situation is your fault Brad, no one elses. You don"t like it, look in the mirror and be mad upset at that guy, not your ex, not the system, not anything else.

I give up.

Click to expand...

Stop wasting the energy dude. Rule #1: you can"t help people that have no interest in helping themselves.

Period. Y"all might think I"m a cunt or wtfever about this situation but seriously the way I"m approaching it from a mental health perspective is a metric fuckton healthier. It"s like einstein said - doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity.

Ignore it, or watch and laugh. Bottom line is that you need to know that nothing you say will penetrate in any way shape or form so you getting frustrated is beyond not worth it.

Etoille said:

Period. Y"all might think I"m a cunt or wtfever about this situation but seriously the way I"m approaching it from a mental health perspective is a metric fuckton healthier.

Click to expand...

The way you are approaching it is to show up once a month to make yourself feel superior by attacking someone (usually brad) then disappear again.

I"d say repeatedly drilling the same unheeded advice into someone"s head is much more mentally healthy.