Girls who broke your heart thread
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I"m going to side with Eomer here. As someone who"s had issues created by retarded phone problems like voice mails not appearing or texts getting lost for hours and hours...or for good, I think he dealt with it pretty accordingly. Just because he takes precautions against something doesn"t make him a pansy or whatever you will.
If a woman doesn"t treat you like a prince or a king, you should call her names (if you"re on the phone or via text) or hit her in the tits (if you"re in person). This is the only way to be a real man. Giving the benefit of the doubt or simply ignoring her is unacceptable and shows you"re a pansy.
Nevermind that beautiful women get invited to shit all the time by guys like us who are a dime a dozen. No. She should remember you, look forward to you. After all, you got her number. If she gave you her number she MUST be looking forward to whatever you plan to do. If not, punch her in the tits.
Nevermind that beautiful women get invited to shit all the time by guys like us who are a dime a dozen. No. She should remember you, look forward to you. After all, you got her number. If she gave you her number she MUST be looking forward to whatever you plan to do. If not, punch her in the tits.
So what is everyones approach to getting a steady relationship with a "good" girl ? I"ve only dealt with whores for the past couples of years and my philosophy has been "put out or get out". They don"t need much coaxing... I use the same lines every single time, put in the same movie every time I get a new girl to come hang out with me, and every time I end up getting laid. It"s worked with such a success that my friends pay me to DD for them so I can play wingman and get them laid that night. I"ve even logged into their profiles for online shit and talked to girls for them and one of the guys has been dating this chick for 4 months now.
But now that I met a girl that is legitimately nice, extremely funny (I usually don"t care what they say) and cute to top it all off... I"m having very little luck. We"ve been texting for like 2 weeks now, seem to have A LOT in common and her future goals aren"t to live in a trailer park, have 10 kids and work for McDonalds for the rest of her life (like the rest of the Fort Bragg area whores).
I haven"t met her in person yet because she has had a boyfriend for a little over a year now. He moved across the country three months ago and from what she tells me he is crazy obsessive, a push over and keeps trying to get her pregnant. She keeps telling me that she has a big crush on me but that it wouldn"t be fair to just drop the boyfriend for me...
So here"s my dilemma... How do I get this girl to hang out with me (I"m not even worried about sex this time for some reason) but not end up being a one time rebound, or seem like I"m just trying to bend her over my bed and lay waste ? I don"t want her to know I"m trying to push her to break up with the dude and try things out with me, but that"s exactly what I want...
Oh and for the record I"ve never cheated on a girlfriend (the one I"ve had), even though I went home on leave and passed up sooo many opportunities.
Just to clarify the "same lines, same movie" thing if you"re only looking to wreck some girl. Kinda a long writeup but I know it works very well depending on the person.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Just some things that I"ve noticed and payed a bit of attention to that works for specifically online dating sites (MyYearbook/POF/OkCupid/Hot or Not).
If you tell a girl that she is "sexy" or "really hot" in the first couple of messages she is instantly going to categorize you in with the rest of the swarm of guys that messaged her before you. Dating websites have like a 3:1 male to female ratio so you really need to stand out. Instead, if you tell them it at all, call them "pretty or gorgeous". Comment on their pictures -- Let"s say they had a picture of them playing in the snow... say "I like the pictures of you in the snow, it looks like you were having a lot of fun. Where was that at ?" It sounds a little corny but it keeps the conversation going and then usually the girl will take it from there with their swarm of questions about you (Having already gotten through their mental wall to strangers). The movie I tend to put on is "Hot Tub Time Machine"... Let me just say that if you"re fucking weird or not in any way, shape or form decent looking it"s not going to get them to drop their panties for you. It"s just a funny movie to lighten the mood since they are probably a little nervous being with someone new alone and it has a lot of lighter sexual references that you can joke about with her.
Don"t tell them that you get laid a lot. I can"t finish with a condom on and I hate using them, but if they know you wreck different girls every weekend then they"ll force you to wear one... if they think you"re a nice guy that just doesn"t meet a lot of women, then they won"t think of STDS... and most chicks are on Depo shots or BC pills nowadays anyhow but obviously ask them about it. I can play the "just doesn"t meet a lot of women" part off very well because I"m in the Infantry and I work with 140 dudes. The only female I work near kinda is a truck driver that is known by our entire battalion (800 dudes) as "Man Bear Pig"... I wouldn"t be surprised if she had a bigger dick than I do.
I don"t know how many women I"ve talked to online, but I looked through my phone and I have 26 different girls on there that I"ve met in the past 5 months since I got back into the states. Of those 26 girls, I"ve met 17 of them in person and I"ve fucked 9 of them the first night and 2 of them the second date (obviously I just changed the scene). That"s like a 70% win ratio of the girls I"ve met up with doing the same movie, same lines and same jokes with EVERY TIME. I"m 19 so I can"t meet girls in bars very effectively with X"s on my hands and a big fucking wristband beacon that tells them I"m younger than they are.
I got some of my ideas from my friend that actually convinced me to get my dick pierced (get your wingman to bring it up jokingly and instantly the conversation goes directly to them wanting asking about your penis). He set his room up like a club with black lights and shit and goes after Asians or cougars... he pulls more ass than anyone I"ve ever known so obviously I asked him for some pointers when we were deployed.
Hope this helps someone.
But now that I met a girl that is legitimately nice, extremely funny (I usually don"t care what they say) and cute to top it all off... I"m having very little luck. We"ve been texting for like 2 weeks now, seem to have A LOT in common and her future goals aren"t to live in a trailer park, have 10 kids and work for McDonalds for the rest of her life (like the rest of the Fort Bragg area whores).
I haven"t met her in person yet because she has had a boyfriend for a little over a year now. He moved across the country three months ago and from what she tells me he is crazy obsessive, a push over and keeps trying to get her pregnant. She keeps telling me that she has a big crush on me but that it wouldn"t be fair to just drop the boyfriend for me...
So here"s my dilemma... How do I get this girl to hang out with me (I"m not even worried about sex this time for some reason) but not end up being a one time rebound, or seem like I"m just trying to bend her over my bed and lay waste ? I don"t want her to know I"m trying to push her to break up with the dude and try things out with me, but that"s exactly what I want...
Oh and for the record I"ve never cheated on a girlfriend (the one I"ve had), even though I went home on leave and passed up sooo many opportunities.
Just to clarify the "same lines, same movie" thing if you"re only looking to wreck some girl. Kinda a long writeup but I know it works very well depending on the person.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Just some things that I"ve noticed and payed a bit of attention to that works for specifically online dating sites (MyYearbook/POF/OkCupid/Hot or Not).
If you tell a girl that she is "sexy" or "really hot" in the first couple of messages she is instantly going to categorize you in with the rest of the swarm of guys that messaged her before you. Dating websites have like a 3:1 male to female ratio so you really need to stand out. Instead, if you tell them it at all, call them "pretty or gorgeous". Comment on their pictures -- Let"s say they had a picture of them playing in the snow... say "I like the pictures of you in the snow, it looks like you were having a lot of fun. Where was that at ?" It sounds a little corny but it keeps the conversation going and then usually the girl will take it from there with their swarm of questions about you (Having already gotten through their mental wall to strangers). The movie I tend to put on is "Hot Tub Time Machine"... Let me just say that if you"re fucking weird or not in any way, shape or form decent looking it"s not going to get them to drop their panties for you. It"s just a funny movie to lighten the mood since they are probably a little nervous being with someone new alone and it has a lot of lighter sexual references that you can joke about with her.
Don"t tell them that you get laid a lot. I can"t finish with a condom on and I hate using them, but if they know you wreck different girls every weekend then they"ll force you to wear one... if they think you"re a nice guy that just doesn"t meet a lot of women, then they won"t think of STDS... and most chicks are on Depo shots or BC pills nowadays anyhow but obviously ask them about it. I can play the "just doesn"t meet a lot of women" part off very well because I"m in the Infantry and I work with 140 dudes. The only female I work near kinda is a truck driver that is known by our entire battalion (800 dudes) as "Man Bear Pig"... I wouldn"t be surprised if she had a bigger dick than I do.
I don"t know how many women I"ve talked to online, but I looked through my phone and I have 26 different girls on there that I"ve met in the past 5 months since I got back into the states. Of those 26 girls, I"ve met 17 of them in person and I"ve fucked 9 of them the first night and 2 of them the second date (obviously I just changed the scene). That"s like a 70% win ratio of the girls I"ve met up with doing the same movie, same lines and same jokes with EVERY TIME. I"m 19 so I can"t meet girls in bars very effectively with X"s on my hands and a big fucking wristband beacon that tells them I"m younger than they are.
I got some of my ideas from my friend that actually convinced me to get my dick pierced (get your wingman to bring it up jokingly and instantly the conversation goes directly to them wanting asking about your penis). He set his room up like a club with black lights and shit and goes after Asians or cougars... he pulls more ass than anyone I"ve ever known so obviously I asked him for some pointers when we were deployed.
Hope this helps someone.
This is a rare suggestion I"ll make: Ask her to hang out as friends. She"s looking for a way out of the relationship, but if she"s a good girl she doesn"t want to go on actual dates while she"s dating someone else. So if you take the label of date out of the equation, she"ll be more willing to meet, while actually changing nothing about the fact that it, for all intents and purposes, IS a date.Saidin said:
From there just show her a good time, keeping the sexual tension high but not actually going for a kiss or anything sexual (you don"t want to be dishonest with a bait and switch, friends to sexual, plus it would lose her trust). Then see where she is at in the following days and decide what to do from there.
You are "just-in-case"ing (a word I made up 12 seconds ago). "Hey I"m calling just in case you tried to contact me but it didn"t work." It is a desperate move that says, "I"m so eager to see you that I have covered all my bases to make sure accidents don"t happen to keep us apart." You can do it with your friends because they will take your words at face value. But you just don"t seem to understand that, in dating, you have to keep away from behavior that can even beinterpreted in any wayas desperate with a 10-foot pole. And so there"s no misunderstanding, in this case you were ACTUALLY being desperate in addition to appearing desperate.Eomer said:
This is just making excuses. She put in the effort? She said "call me" after being a "flaky bitch." That"s sounds like some pretty shitty effort. You always have a detailed explanation for everything that people object to. Ever notice, of all the posters and stories here, some people pick apart your posts much more than others? There"s a reason for that, and it"s not "oh it"s Eomer, let"s interpret everything like he"s acting desperate." It"s because your actions ARE desperate. Just-in-casing is desperate, always. Calling a girl from the smallest sliver of possible interest after she is a "flaky bitch" which also translates to "doesn"t respect me or my time whatsoever" is desperate, always.
You accidentally blew her off last weekend, but you sure as shit apologized and tried to rectify it and set up plans for another time. If you hadn"t, she"d be a fool to try to see you again. Yet here the tables are turned and she doesn"t do any of that, yet you still make excuses for her shitty behavior.
Excuses are rolling, dude, as they always are. As a general rule, the more text you spend explaining something, the more likely you are rationalizing. Just because you can write 400 words and make it sound reasonable doesn"t mean your reasoning isn"t specious. I can justify why I ate 3 donuts in a row this morning even though I knew it"d make me feel shitty all day in 3 simple words: they were good. I can also justify shitting on someone"s chest if I really want to shit on someone"s chest, but it"ll take me quite a few more words to accomplish that.
This neediness and desperation will continue to dominate your dating life as long as you fail to acknowledge them. You will continue to find rationalizations for girls" shitty behavior towards you, as long as they give you a sliver of hope, exactly because you are needy and desperate. I know this not only because it is just fucking obvious, but I also know it because I can look at my past when *I* was needy and desperate and find situations that were EXACTLY the same, where I also made mountains of excuses that were just as reasonable yet specious nonetheless.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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Therein lies the problem with most of the advice in this thread -- it"s designed to get you laid, not build a healthy relationship. Anything that"s based upon games like not calling people back within x amount of minutes or anything is just a lie and she"ll see thru it eventually.Saidin said:
That being said, if you haven"t even met her yet, you"re kind of Eomer"ing it here. Less analyzing.
This.TheCutlery said:
If you are trying to actually build a relationship that will last a lifetime then the stuff in this thread isn"t really going to teach you what you need to know. It takes a ton of work, constant work, that never really stops. It takes both people willing to do the work. And it takes skills that you"re pretty much only going to learn from trained professionals.
If you"re just looking for something to keep you entertained for a while then you can get enough from this thread to hook up with her.
Yeah that"s the only thing I"m worried about. If I take my usual approach I know when to lean in for the kiss, when to say the flirty things and what to do when they are close to me. But for this unusual circumstance I"m not even certain what to do... She does want to hang out just as friends first, she mentioned it to me about a week ago but I know myself too well...Seths said:
I also told her I"ve had sex with 3 girls so I"m fucked if I get drunk around her and start telling stories. God forbid any of my friends say any near her.
Never lie to a girl you"re wanting to actually date. I"ve lied to some girls, but they were just fuck toys. The girl I"m currently with, I"ve laid bare all my shit. Mostly because my friends and I are the "Under the Bus" types with each other just to fuck around and they bring up stupid shit I"ve done. She knows all my dirty little secrets and I don"t care.Saidin said:
If you"re ashamed of your shit, admit it, and just go from there. Your past is your past. Never lie.
It"s a fine line between not hiding shit, and front-loading with way too much information way too soon. Keep that in mind.
When following this advise follow the most important and very basic rule of hanging out with girls:Dabamf said:
Avoid the friend zone at all cost. Do what you can, but never ever go there. And if you notice that you are on your way there... start gaming her, play mindgames, do whatever you can to avoid it.
Keep the tension high, make her cheat in her head and not in reality.
Sounds harsh, but you really need to realize this Eomer. You may not be desperate, but you appear and act that way. You act the way I want my friends to act, so I am pretty sure we"d get along fine as friends. Hell, people that dont act like this... dont get to be my friends anyway.
BUT I am a dude and we are not dating.
Right and wrong.Seths said:
Attraction is very important and what he actually needs to START the relationship he is looking for. And you dont build it by being a nice little desperate lapdog. It doesnt work. Best case is you are either very lucky or end up in one of those sad relationships that work because both dont want to be alone anymore.
Longterm this changes, but he is not there. Plus real relationship advice is rather easy in comparison to dating skills.
His lie was rather stupid, but he might get away with it.
Can you go more in depth about the friend zone? My GF desperately wants me to be best friends with her friends, and honestly, they"re very different people from me, so I feel like it"s already fucking me in the ass.
Being friends with her friends is not the friends zone. Friends zone refers to a girl who likes you for who you are but is in no way sexually attracted to you. Generally she"ll lead you on into thinking some day you"ll get some.
actually, i think if you are wrecking different girls every weekend you may want to be worried about stds a little more yourselfSaidin said:
now, if you want to get with a girl who is in a relationship, best advice i can give is to kind of ignore the fact that she"s taken. just try to treat her like every other girl, and avoid conversations about her relationship.
that said i think it"s kinda lame to chase girls who are taken, especially if their partners aren"t around to "defend" themselves. if her relationship really sucks and she isn"t stupid, she will break up with him eventually. but if you try to "force" it, you risk ending up in a situation where she has feelings for both of you, with all the drama involded. i"d suggest to wait for it or look for another girl.
^^ This and even if you are(were) in a monogamous relationship and then you find out that the entire time you were together you find out she has the gift that keeps on giving and never told you about it.. That is always a fun conversation as you pack your shit and head to the clinic for the test.kollos said:
I got tested about two weeks ago and I was clean. I don"t get a slutty feeling from this girl at all. I guess I"ll just have to see how it plays out, I"ll keep you updated ;p
Friend zone is the place for gay friends, fat friends, best friends, friends that should totally date their friends but never themselves, etc. Friend zone means no sexual attraction and its a trap with no way out.projectoffset said:
If you have a female friend that totally likes you but more in a brother"ish way and would never do anything with you - thats friend zone.
You need to balance attraction and the depth of your relationship. If there is total attraction but you hardly know each other and/or dont have any common interests, etc you end up with one night stands and sluts. If there is no attraction but you hang out alot you got friend zoned and never get the girl. Obviously attraction is more important. And thats what you got your game for.
Right, I thought it had more to do with how you interact with her friends, etc. Misunderstanding.