Girls who broke your heart thread

Tenks said:

My issue with a threesome (no, I would not have one even if the opportunity presented) is that a girl should see me having sex with another girl as cheating and treat it as the severity that cheating entails. If I were to cheat I"d expect the girl to leave me and if she did not I would pretty much lose all respect for her. On the same token I would leave a girl in an instant if she cheated on me.

Not to mention I am not like everyone in this thread that views women as only warm gooey holes to place my dick inside.

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I definitely don"t view women as nothing more than warm holes. As I"ve said, Anne has brought it up herself a couple times, and said she"s interested because she"s curious about sex with a woman and interested in trying new things, but doubtful that she could do "the whole thing" herself. Again, she"s also said that it can"t be anyone we know well or that I"ve been involved with in the past, so she"s definitely concerned about the emotional side of things. And she"s made it quite clear that if I cheat on her, she"s out.

At this point, it"s more of a thinking/fantasizing outloud thing than anything else. She"s not the kind of girl that would go find another one to participate on her own, so unless I do something about it, chances are nothing would happen. And I"m mostly on the fence about it. Of course it"s every guy"s fantasy, but at the same time I agree that it IS a pretty large land mine to negotiate around, and from where I stand right now she seems like a keeper and I"d rather not fuck things up.

So you should just ignore that it was ever said, problem solved! Eventually if you ignore something enough, it will go away! >.>

Sutekh said:

This kid, he"s a retard, you don"t want to listen to people like him.
I mean for christ sake, his name is "DABAMF" I think that was my AIM screen name when I was 13.


It"s just like everyone else said, if you want anything to come of the relationship you wouldn"t do it, but then again, if you"re standards are so low that you would take a woman that would openly allow another person in to your relationship for you to become intimate with. Then hey, more power to you, I guess... Like, the threesome would be neat and all, if you met two drunk bitches, that"s about the only scenario, not someone you would want to start a life with. But hey what do I know. I have trouble holding my own relationship together

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Yeah, like you know any better. Want to look for a retard, I"d point to the kid constantly making retarded blanket statements and has the negs to show for it..

I probably wouldn"t seek a long term relationship with someone who is into threesomes, but to say it"s auto-fail with 2 people who could easily be very open sexually just shows how little some of you know about the world.

The Ancient said:

I probably wouldn"t seek a long term relationship with someone who is into threesomes, but to say it"s auto-fail with 2 people who could easily be very open sexually just shows how little some of you know about the world.

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And that"s the thing, I agree with you. I don"t particularly want to be a long term, "alternative" relationship where the couple can fuck other people, whether that"s with the other person present or not. And that"s not what Anne wants, either. It"s more of a one time experimentation thing.

But of course the risk is that the "one time" thing turns in to more than that, or sabotages the relationship.

While I agree that it is usually a good rule of thumb to avoid threesomes, I think you are smart enough to realize whether this specific situation is an exception to that rule or not.

I agree that if it does happen, you should try to be as aware as possible of Anne"s feelings, and give her more attention than the other girl. Have fun, but let her know she is in control of the situation (especially the interaction between you and the other girl).

What I want to know is why are you even considering it if you honestly think she might be a keeper? Why even add something like that over both of your heads? You already stated you"re fine with just having her. You"re pretty much neutral about the whole thing. You"re happy with what you currently have. Why add something as explosive as a threesome to the mix?

What seems to be happening to me is that you"re just open to the possibility of doing it because it"s everyone else"s fantasy, not particularly yours. Just do what you think is right. Then you"ll never have any regrets for the rest of your life.

I don"t want to continually insinuate that what she"s saying might not match with what she really wants, but it truly bears repeating here. Bringing your attention to "she"s interested because she"s never had sex with a woman and it"s a new experience" reasoning. Is this the real reason? Is it because she knows it"s every guy"s fantasy? When girls use the above justification for wanting a threesome but don"t actively pursue it, they"re either thinking on it very hard or mentioning it to get their partner"s rocks off/testing the waters. I hope it"s the former.

Anne wants to throw in a third who shouldonlywant sex anddoesn"twant any emotional connection... into an established coupling where the girl and guy, frankly, don"t know what the fuck they"re doing. A threesome isn"t something you can do mental training with and know how you"ll react emotionally. Unless you have unshakable trust in the person you"re with, all it takes is one moment and one shred of insecurity. I can"t speak for Anne, but you"re an intelligent guy, Eomer. Since there"s two girls, I"m sure you"ve realized the burden to not fuck up lies mostly on you. Since you seem genuinely happy with this girl, I want to make sure you know that the odds are against you for this turning out without damage. You"ve never done a threesome before. She"s never done one before, and has questionable (in my mind) reasoning for it. You have not known each other long. Even if you can foresee with 100% accuracy how you and Anne will react, you are throwing in an independent variable. You don"t know howtheywill react.Most importantly, you want the overarching relationship to work, even knowing that threesomes usually destroy couplings because, hey, we"re only human and have irrational emotions.Aztlan is right. There"s truth to the whole "do a threesome only if you don"t care about the chicks involved". Knowing all that and weighing it against the payoff... I"d think you were either very brave and knew yourself/her well or you were a colossal fool to roll the dice.

Learn from my mistakes.

Don"t listen to the fucking retards that say "shit yeah man, do it if it falls into your lap". For your first time, it must, must, MUST be a deliberate and planned process. Time and place charted out in advance, the third rigorously (lawl) discussed and debated. You want no emotional connection or previous link? Fine. Treat it with the seriousness of a job interview. You"re putting your relationship into this person"s hands since you two don"t know what you"re doing, really. Otherwise, even if you have thought about it at length beforehand, it gives off the impression to the girl that it was a spur of the moment decision. You"ll get a threesome, all right. But your relationship may be unsalvageable.

No more advice about the threesome from me, but for others doubting a girls long term prospects bc she is open to a threesome is absurb. They"re in their 20s (right?), she has never done it, it seems new and exciting to her, WHY is that a character flaw? Have you guys never wanted to try something new? And the fact that she isn"t actively pursuing it is evidence that it"s NOT some inborn issue. She"s curious but doesn"t want to assume the responsibility of taking that leap. Holy fuckin shit watch out eomer it looks like you"re dating a GIRL.

hmm, that explains the vagina.

Dabamf said:

No more advice about the threesome from me, but for others doubting a girls long term prospects bc she is open to a threesome is absurb. They"re in their 20s (right?), she has never done it, it seems new and exciting to her, WHY is that a character flaw? Have you guys never wanted to try something new? And the fact that she isn"t actively pursuing it is evidence that it"s NOT some inborn issue. She"s curious but doesn"t want to assume the responsibility of taking that leap. Holy fuckin shit watch out eomer it looks like you"re dating a GIRL.

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Just as Grobb wants to experiment in consuming his own semen and sucking another man"s dick makes him a likely candidate for being a flamer a chick wanting to have a 3some makes her a likely candidate for being a cheating whore.

Wow, Tenks. You"re sensationalizing this.

Dabamf said:

She"s curious but doesn"t want to assume the responsibility of taking that leap.

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From what Eomer"s saying, she"s the one who continually brings it up. Mentioning an item in hopes theotherperson will take responsibility for something that could destroy A Good Thing when he himself is part of that Good Thing doesn"t seem strange to you? And depending on the motivation, some people might count gambling where the odds are against you as a "character flaw". Not that it matters, she doesn"t want to take responsibility anyway. So it"s a moot point.

I"m gonna throw my hat on the "just don"t do it" crowd. I"ve never had one though, so take my opinion however you like.

The Ancient said:

Yeah, like you know any better. Want to look for a retard, I"d point to the kid constantly making retarded blanket statements and has the negs to show for it..

I probably wouldn"t seek a long term relationship with someone who is into threesomes, but to say it"s auto-fail with 2 people who could easily be very open sexually just shows how little some of you know about the world.

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Because talking about threesomes in a relationship.

And talking about homeless people. Completely relevant. Oh wait, no it"s not

Also, what"s the point? All it is, is two girls at once. Call me a homosexual, but that doesn"t really sound to interesting for me, that sounds like, me finishing in about a minute, because I"ve got two hot naked chicks on me.

Good luck she doesnt die.

Aztlan said:

What I want to know is why are you even considering it if you honestly think she might be a keeper?

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BECAUSE OH MY GOD YOU CAN"T NOT CONSIDER IT! Because sex with two women is so high up on important life experiences, how could you reject it outright just because it has "serious risks" to "relationships"? That"s like saying you"d pass up winning a million dollars just because your mother *might* (or "probably will") get cancer if you win it.

Guys are so stupid. Unzip that shit!

It"s finally time that I can contribute to the thread for real. I had a looong dry period because I moved back home to save money in preparation for coming to Korea, and had few contacts back there and had some really stressful events that kept me from wanting to pursue anything.

By the way, anyone who tells stories here have a fear that the girl or someone they knew and maybe told the details to are lurkers and they"ll find out? It"s even less likely in Korea but I"m for some reason I"m so paranoid about it.

Anyway, now I"ve been in Korea for 2 months, and it is nearly impossible to meet girls because, even though many speak English very well, I have no idea who does and who doesn"t. In reality I could approach anyone and just bail if they don"t speak, but that"d be really weird. Well I ended up meeting a Korean girl about a month ago. I won"t say how because it"s an absurd middle-school-like story, but she"s an English major so speaks really fluently.

She is ridiculously busy (full time student, full time job, & part time job), and the first date went well but was nothing special, so we went out for only the second time the other night. It went extremely well, and we did some moderate kissing towards the end. It"s really hard to create the privacy necessary for that because we meet in Seoul, which is the common middle ground for us, and there is no car ride or someone"s apartment nearby; it"s all public. Well I lucked out and after dinner we went to a really small bar across the street that turned out empty. Being the 2nd date and how well it was going I knew that that night was absolutely crucial to lock in the kiss or the excitement and uncertainly would quickly turn into confusion and friend-zoning, so when we walked in and I saw it was empty I thought "jackpot."

I showed many pictures from home on my ipod and that was like crack. Pictures of my family, friends, tons from college, and other events. As she was looking she was leaning over the table a little more than necessary and getting closer as she was talking to me. My balls hadn"t dropped yet apparently and I didn"t capitalize on the sign despite being fully aware of it, but maybe 30 minutes later I did and locked in the kiss. So far the impression that I get of most Korean girls is that most are very sexually inexperienced, possibly repressed. She certainly seemed a little like that, but far less so than most and I got a really distinct impression that she is a little more adventurous than others. The only time she covered her face with her hands (a classic Korean female move when laughing, embarrassed, etc) is after we kissed.

Anyway that"s about all there is now. Her being so ridiculously busy is frustrating but after the 2nd date I"m confident we"ll both make a little extra effort to squeeze each other in our schedules.

The hardest thing about creating a good date in another country is that I don"t know many good places and while I know a lot of Korean for only being here 2 months and I can read fine, I still don"t know all the food names. So my ability to take lead is severely crippled and I have to allow her to make some decisions and order food. I hate it since women are always wanting the man to make most of the decisions at the beginning (and of course deep into a relationship,theywant to make all the decisions), but I am unable often. I think I play it off well though because I decide on a type of place and type of food, and put her in charge of finding it. This kind of has the illusion of taking control I think.

(to Sharmai, I"ll maybe write something via pm since I"m still curious. I don"t wanna be a reason for continuing that argument in an otherwise-decent thread).

Brad2770 said:

Good luck she doesnt die.

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Honestly Brad. Just let it go. You seem to have like a hard on for the guy.