Girls who broke your heart thread

haha, jackasses. No of course it isn"t the only shop in town. However she"s dealt with them exclusively for several years, and because of her history with Jay, she"s friends with other people that work there as well and occasionally goes on rides with that group (which she did on Sunday, which is when her fork got damaged and she found out about Jay, supposedly).

Besides which, isn"t being a whiny bitch and ordering her to never see the guy again kind of the exact opposite of what Tenks/Dabamf frequently espouse? Does it not make me look like I"m being needy and insecure?

Can you blame them though Brad? We are seeing a narrow scope of a relationship we have no stake in and giving our opinions on it. Granted I think most people get generally good advice but it would be silly to follow everything in this thread since we don"t know the full picture.

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I try to provide anything I can think of that"s pertinent to the situation, so that the advice given is as useful as possible. But you"re absolutely right. You don"t know me, you don"t know her, and you don"t know the entire situation, so of course giving the perfect advice is pretty much impossible.

That said, I still think it"s good information to have, and even if I don"t do exactly what everyone says (which would be impossible since everyone gives a slightly different piece of advice), I still think this thread is useful to me. If only to vent and organize my thoughts somewhat.

Eomer said:

Besides which, isn"t being a whiny bitch and ordering her to never see the guy again kind of the exact opposite of what Tenks/Dabamf frequently espouse? Does it not make me look like I"m being needy and insecure?

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It is more about how you present it. Females don"t like to be on a leash but they do respect boundaries. If you tell her that you don"t really feel comfortable having her hang out and talk with someone who remains to have feelings for her and desires a relationship and she says "No too bad I"m going to still talk to him" that is a huge personality flaw if you ask me. I know it is hard to bring up and I"m kind of dealing with it in my own relationship but mine is more he wants to get back with her and she finds him disgusting and doesn"t want to speak with him ever again but for very good reasons she has to speak with him infrequently. The reason she has to speak with him infrequently will go away soon and if she continues to converse with him I"m going to bring it up.

When we spoke yesterday, she said that from now on she was going to avoid contact with him if at all possible, that she had made that decision. I didn"t prompt her to, she came out and said it. I"m pretty sure I mentioned that in past posts. So I can"t really see what else there is to do in that respect, other than to make it clear that in the future I"d like her to come clean sooner rather than let the problem drag out for weeks.

And that"s really the only major issue I have with what she told me yesterday, the whole "I know I"ve been in a funk for a couple weeks and distant from you, but I didn"t realize it was about Jay until Sunday when I found out for sure he was seeing someone" because that just doesn"t fucking make sense to me. If the relationship was only confirmed Sunday, why was she in a funk prior to that? And if the funk was indeed caused by Jay, why feed me bullshit and claim that she wasn"t able to pinpoint the exact cause until the relationship was confirmed? That part of it doesn"t add up to me, and I"d like some further explanation.

Sometimes it is best to just let things lie where they are. I"m sure if she could go back she would have handled it differently. If she is saying stuff like that she is trying to atone to you. If I were you I wouldn"t mention it anymore then.

With that said my brutal honesty states that this relationship will not last.

Eomer said:

When we spoke yesterday, she said that from now on she was going to avoid contact with him if at all possible, that she had made that decision. I didn"t prompt her to, she came out and said it. I"m pretty sure I mentioned that in past posts. So I can"t really see what else there is to do in that respect, other than to make it clear that in the future I"d like her to come clean sooner rather than let the problem drag out for weeks.

And that"s really the only major issue I have with what she told me yesterday, the whole "I know I"ve been in a funk for a couple weeks and distant from you, but I didn"t realize it was about Jay until Sunday when I found out for sure he was seeing someone" because that just doesn"t fucking make sense to me. If the relationship was only confirmed Sunday, why was she in a funk prior to that? And if the funk was indeed caused by Jay, why feed me bullshit and claim that she wasn"t able to pinpoint the exact cause until the relationship was confirmed? That part of it doesn"t add up to me, and I"d like some further explanation.

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im still best friends with my ex that i dated for 3 years, i really dont see a problem if she trusts him with her bike. im still the only person she brings her car to. i wouldnt even let it bother me its high school shit. i was too lazy to read all the posts but has she introduced you to him? i make all the girls i talk to meet her and hang out because we chill alot. bitches are stubborn but they get over it or hit the road.

And that"s really the only major issue I have with what she told me yesterday, the whole "I know I"ve been in a funk for a couple weeks and distant from you, but I didn"t realize it was about Jay until Sunday when I found out for sure he was seeing someone" because that just doesn"t fucking make sense to me. If the relationship was only confirmed Sunday, why was she in a funk prior to that? And if the funk was indeed caused by Jay, why feed me bullshit and claim that she wasn"t able to pinpoint the exact cause until the relationship was confirmed? That part of it doesn"t add up to me, and I"d like some further

Edit: read that part all bitches are like that when they get out of a relationship, just hope you are better otherwise she will go back to him. dont stress it, if she likes im better then you theres nothing you can do but see how shit goes.

Tenks said:

You"re treating this like it has been a 2 year relationship when in fact it has only been a 2 month thing. Of those two months I think he said this has been going on for a few weeks. If it were me I"d cut it off but I don"t know the full situation. Generally if we hit a major speedbump before 3 months time I end the relationship. At that point it isn"t too serious and if something large enough to post on FoHSS happens within that time it isn"t as great and happy as you may think.

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I"m viewing this like a relationship between 2 individuals. Whether it"s a 2 month relationship or a 9 month relationship, my advice would remain the same. I personally don"t put limits on people with respect to bad behavior on a 3 month time frame. I allow them to make mistakes and learn from them after I talk them about it. If they continue to make those same mistakes and not respect my wishes, then that"s when I start taking action.

You honestly sound like a very intolerant individual when it comes to relationships and that might work for you. Logically reasoning it out though, I find that you"ll have a harder time being happy with any individual if you do not allow that person to make mistakes and to learn from them.

Other than speculation on our end, the only way to find out about Anne"s (retardedly huge) discrepancy is asking her directly. She"ll just get defensive and you"ll get nowhere. As you said, the only thing to do is really ride this out and see that she"s truly committed now. If she doesn"t turn back into how it was when you first met her, sex/personality/energy/etc.-wise now that shesaidshe"s resolute, that should send up warning flags. Keep us posted.

*poke*poke*wink*wink*nudge*nudge*

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Say no more, say no more! A nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat.

(sarcasm)Yeah, she has a TON of feelings for you (/sarcasm) - she almost ends your relationship, distances herself from you and puts your feelings last just because one of her old ex"s/fuckbuddies starts dating someone else. She even made up lies (fork leaking) to go see him at his work and start stuff with him because he"s dating someone now. If my girlfriend freaked out cause an ex started dating someone, I"d be done with her (and then I"d kill her off on the internet - ha fuck you trolls!)

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She"s not lying about the bike problems, there"s been manufacturer"s recalls on hers a couple times already. If it is a lie, it"s pretty elaborate, as she mentioned it on a Facebook status update chronologically before she mentioned it to me.

Maybe you"re right that she"s not telling the truth, or more likely, not being truthful with herself about what her feelings are. Either way, I"m going to stick around to find out. I"ll probably see her in the next day or two, instead of next week, as it"s supposed to be 4C and snowing where we were gonna go biking, so fuck that action.

LAWL you giving advice on relationships. go kill yourself.

There"s some great advice in this thread for Eomer. Hey, check out the prototype for my new dream game:

Dude that chick sounds exactly like my ex and you sound just like me! Best of luck to you, but if she doesn"t change for the better dramatically soon, walk away! I know it will be hard, but it will give her time to get perspective and you won"t get hurt as badly. If it"s meant to be you"ll come back together when she figures out her priorities, as it stands now if she doesn"t change you will probably end up enemies...

Snugglebear said:

There"s some great advice in this thread for Eomer. Hey, check out the prototype for my new dream game:

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+1 for office space

aychamo_aycono said:

(sarcasm)Yeah, she has a TON of feelings for you (/sarcasm) - she almost ends your relationship, distances herself from you and puts your feelings last just because one of her old ex"s/fuckbuddies starts dating someone else. She even made up lies (fork leaking) to go see him at his work and start stuff with him because he"s dating someone now. If my girlfriend freaked out cause an ex started dating someone, I"d be done with her (and then I"d kill her off on the internet - ha fuck you trolls!)




There"s no logic in love

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no you wouldn"t, your probably the biggest pussy in this thread. aren"t you the guy that lied about his whore dying.

the only guy with a clue said:

I"m viewing this like a relationship between 2 individuals. Whether it"s a 2 month relationship or a 9 month relationship, my advice would remain the same. I personally don"t put limits on people with respect to bad behavior on a 3 month time frame. I allow them to make mistakes and learn from them after I talk them about it. If they continue to make those same mistakes and not respect my wishes, then that"s when I start taking action.

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Everyone makes mistakes, acts poorly based on new emotions, etc. You gotta allow a little leeway for people to make a bad decision here and there. What matters is what happens next time. If she does something similar the next time, then you"re 99% wasting your time with this chick, not simply because she can"t get over the other guy, but because it means she cannot intelligently handle her emotions and keep emotions where they should be (i.e. not decision-makers).

Aych reminds me of my brother a lot. I"d take advice from him probably over my own reasoning about tryin to get a girl in bed, but I would never take relationship advice from him.

Aztlan said:

You honestly sound like a very intolerant individual when it comes to relationships and that might work for you. Logically reasoning it out though, I find that you"ll have a harder time being happy with any individual if you do not allow that person to make mistakes and to learn from them.

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And you sound like a doormat. I"d prefer my way.

Tenks said:

And you sound like a doormat. I"d prefer my way.

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Oh oh, sorry I didn"t mean to anger you. You just sound like a delusional individual with an unrealistic idea about relationships. You might be a person going from girl to girl throughout his life and thinking the problem is them and not you. You might not. I have no idea. That"s just how you sound.

Aaaahhh fuck.

I have amazing news, well, sort of.

Stephanie was going to come to my place tonight.
Instead, she called. She had been at my door and was afraid to come in, decided to tell me on the phone instead, to make it easier for both of us.

You know what"s coming so I"ll make it short.

She feels that she can"t commit to a relationship and instead of leading me on for who knows how long, she decided to just tell me and be done with it.

I can"t even be mad at her, because it makes sense, sort of.

The huge downside is that she was perfect in all ways I could imagine. We"ll still run into each other maybe once or twice a week. I like her too much to hold a grudge really.

Fuck.

Consider the possibility she might just not be interested in a relationship with <b>you</b> - everything you wrote earlier shows far too many signs of you putting too much into the relationship. Treating someone like they"re the second coming is a good way to burn them out - it"s hard maintainting an unrealistic level of perfection.

I could be way off, but, give it some good thought and learn from it.

/learning way too much shit of internet people"s lives.

Dantre said:

Consider the possibility she might just not be interested in a relationship with <b>you</b> - everything you wrote earlier shows far too many signs of you putting too much into the relationship. Treating someone like they"re the second coming is a good way to burn them out - it"s hard maintainting an unrealistic level of perfection.

I could be way off, but, give it some good thought and learn from it.

/learning way too much shit of internet people"s lives.

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Well I did hold back. We both had our free time after the initial week, she said that was ok. She also said that the behaviour I showed should be normal in a relationship, it"s just that she seems unable to give anything back. Her words. She also said she"s sorry like 20 times. She likes me a lot and all that yadda yadda.

I know it"s possibly my biggest fault that when I"m into someone, I show them. But shouldn"t that be normal? Waking up and watching her sleep next to me was the best thing...

Ah well whatever. She said I didn"t encumber her, so it can"t have been that bad. She"s putting all the blame on herself, but that might just be to make it easier on me. Who knows.

I think it"s time for a healthy break, and lots of sex with a person I love very much - myself.