Girls who broke your heart thread

lost

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Eomer said:
No shit. If you find yourself hacking your girlfriend"s email or facebook account, it should be a pretty good indication that you need to take a step the FUCK back and evaluate things as rationally as you can (given that you may in fact be crazy based on your behavior).



It"s your life to live with going forward. Sure people get a kick out of drama and/or naked pics (thanks!), that doesn"t mean that going vindictive stalker on her in real life is going to make things better for you or that it"s the best response to the situation.

I don"t think anyone"s saying they don"t "like" what you"re doing. They"re giving you advice to avoid making any colossal mistakes that might either get you in trouble with the law, or cause you to completely destroy your reputation in the social circles you travel in.

Personally I always try to end relationships on as good of a note as possible, because you never know when you"ll cross paths with a girl again, or her good friend.
Yes I agree, except I"ve heard all this trash she"s been talking about me so theres no way its ending on a good note. I"m going to take a step back and all that, ps your welcome haha, im dropping it all now and ignoring the phone calls. I got what I wanted, she called me crying and said she hates me, thats enough justification after all the things I just found out she was doing behind my back.
 

bofa_sl

shitlord
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her nips are like 1/2" long...too sharp..anyway she probably felt guilty after having her brains smashed out by some dude ina cheap hotel...grats on sloppy seconds!

anyway, we all know what it feels like to have our heart broken and nothing"s worse then finding out she cheated on you..no feeling worse in the world imho.

log off her facebook, go out, get drunk and live and let live. there"s plenty more out there brah..go back like 100 pages in this thread and learn to pick up chicks of PoF..that"ll keep you distracted enough
 

Eomer

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Ortega said:
I haven"t been reading this thread much, but didn"t she already break up with you?
No, she never broke off the relationship. She wasn"t sure if we were going to continue for a bit, but has said she wants to continue on a more relaxed pace.

I know you are trying to get her to come around or whatever, but if she bitches about even the smallest things that"s when you know she is trying to make you out to be worse then you are so she doesn"t feel guilty.
You have to understand that I"m extremely sarcastic, and that we pretty often make jokes at other"s expense and so on. It was mostly me doing it initially but as we"ve gotten to know each other she"s been giving it back as well. It"s good natured fun, except of course for when one or the other doesn"t catch that the other is just joking around. That"s more or less what was going on with that, she feigns exasperation at me interrupting her (which I DO from time to time), I point out she"s been blabbing for an hour about the same stuff, and so on. Voices weren"t raised, we weren"t arguing or anything.

So seriously dude I know you won"t listen and hell I could be totally wrong and I wouldn"t listen to me either as I"ve proven in my own life time and time again,but I"m telling you if you can"t just enjoy each others company and be happy this early in the relationship it will never get better.
I could be wrong, but I believe that"s more or less what went on last night. We had a nice hour and a half on a patio to eat and have a beer and chat. As I said there was obviously an undercurrent of unease because of what"s gone on, but otherwise we got along just fine.
 

Ortega_foh

shitlord
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lost said:
Yes I agree, except I"ve heard all this trash she"s been talking about me so theres no way its ending on a good note. I"m going to take a step back and all that, ps your welcome haha, im dropping it all now and ignoring the phone calls. I got what I wanted, she called me crying and said she hates me, thats enough justification after all the things I just found out she was doing behind my back.
The whole revenge gig only makes you feel better for about a day if that. In my experience fighting and starting drama with each other when you know theres no going back is just a sub concious way of attempting to keep the person in your life. The pain will still be there in the morning and you may even feel worse for the things you did/said. Hope ya feel better soon!
 

Salshun_foh

shitlord
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lost said:
Agreed, done.
The thing is, I"m pretty sure she"s somewhere planning her next dick sandwich, while you"re doing this stuff. Go out, forget her, and fuck some strange ass.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
 

Venjenz_foh

shitlord
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Eomer said:
but has said she wants to continue on a more relaxed pace.
Translation - you"ll suffice for male companionship until someone better comes along, but pipe down, I need to gripe about my day.
Eomer said:
You have to understand that I"m extremely sarcastic, and that we pretty often make jokes at other"s expense and so on. It was mostly me doing it initially but as we"ve gotten to know each other she"s been giving it back as well. It"s good natured fun, except of course for when one or the other doesn"t catch that the other is just joking around. That"s more or less what was going on with that, she feigns exasperation at me interrupting her (which I DO from time to time), I point out she"s been blabbing for an hour about the same stuff, and so on. Voices weren"t raised, we weren"t arguing or anything.
Translation - I know she basically told me to shut my yap, but I have to rationalize to the fellas why I am in puppy love.
Eomer said:
I could be wrong, but I believe that"s more or less what went on last night. We had a nice hour and a half on a patio to eat and have a beer and chat. As I said there was obviously an undercurrent of unease because of what"s gone on, but otherwise we got along just fine.
Translation - I am telling myself everything I need to keep from admitting that this chick doesn"t really dig and never will.

:thumbs: Got you covered bro. Loud and clear.
 

Ortega_foh

shitlord
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Eomer said:
No, she never broke off the relationship. She wasn"t sure if we were going to continue for a bit, but has said she wants to continue on a more relaxed pace.



You have to understand that I"m extremely sarcastic, and that we pretty often make jokes at other"s expense and so on. It was mostly me doing it initially but as we"ve gotten to know each other she"s been giving it back as well. It"s good natured fun, except of course for when one or the other doesn"t catch that the other is just joking around. That"s more or less what was going on with that, she feigns exasperation at me interrupting her (which I DO from time to time), I point out she"s been blabbing for an hour about the same stuff, and so on. Voices weren"t raised, we weren"t arguing or anything.



I could be wrong, but I believe that"s more or less what went on last night. We had a nice hour and a half on a patio to eat and have a beer and chat. As I said there was obviously an undercurrent of unease because of what"s gone on, but otherwise we got along just fine.
I"m not saying voices were raised. When you can"t spend a few hours with a person you supposedly love without throwing off the tone and making shit "uneasy" as you say, it wont get better. One thing I"ve been trying to train myself to notice is that when shit seems off and not only in relationships, it"s because it usually is. You can make excuses about sarcasm, how they"re so busy, how they had a hard life, or WHATEVER! Excuses can be made for everything. In the end they buy you nothing but a little bit of time. I truly hope it works out for you, but if shits uneasy and doesn"t get back to cool and comfortable soon it will continue to get worse until it no longer exists. Good luck!
 

Alcestis_foh

shitlord
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lost"s chick"s pic is another one for my theory: a Playboy Bunny suntan tattoo can be used in lieu of a tramp stamp to proclaim ho status.




Eomer:You"re right; perhaps the whole conversation thing is being overanalyzed and blown out of proportion. However, I do think it"s telling that despite all the apparent joking and sarcasm you say that went on:
She agreed that maybe I had a point,and went back to talking about school.
The bolded part appears to be an equivalent of, "Yeah, I might be talking about things you don"t give a shit about, but fuck you. I"m gonna keep on anyway." Either she doesn"t know that there"s an element of truth to every wise-crack and thus should prudently change the subject, or she just doesn"t/didn"t care. Neither really bode well for something long-term (especially if she"s dating a self-proclaimed smart-ass ).
 

Eomer

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Venjenz: I obviously don"t agree with your interpretation, however I do concede you may well be right about Anne and her "true" subconscious feelings (and not the conscious ones that girls convince themselves of all the time, only to turn them on a dime). Her actions and behavior will be what truly indicates what"s going on, I guess.

However at the same time, you"re not really offering a productive alternative other than "dump that bitch." Personally I"d rather see where things go from here for awhile before deciding to call it quits. As far as how "badly" I will tolerate being treated, the answer is not very much. I"m NOT one to cling to a mediocre relationship and in fact prefer being single to being in a relationship that"s not going anywhere but is tolerable or comfortable. It"s either single and not in a relationship, or in a relationship that is moving somewhere for me. Two extremes I guess.

Ortega: absolutely agreed, if things don"t settle in to something that we both enjoy quickly and there"s ALWAYS an undercurrent of unease whether it"s coming from just one or both of us, then I"d have to evaluate things and decide if it"s worth continuing. But considering what"s gone on over the past three weeks, this was more or less our first "normal" date to just hang out and not worry about talking about where we were at etc, so of course there"s going to be some feeling around to see where things are at.

Alcestis: that statement you quoted of mine wasn"t really fair to her, I wasn"t totally serious that she immediately went back to talking about school. When I pointed out how she"d only been talking about it and not really asking me about anything, she more or less said fine we could talk about whatever I wanted, my bike trip etc, and I said no no that it was cool so long as she realized what I had pointed out and that it wasn"t fair for her to say that I didn"t know anything about her or care about her job when I had just spent an hour listening to nothing but her life and her job.

I"m not saying everything"s perfect or even great. Things are very much still up in the air in regards to how true her claimed feelings are, and whether or not going forward I"m someone she actively wants to be with as opposed to someone who isn"t annoying enough to get rid of (yet).
 

lost

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Ortega said:
The whole revenge gig only makes you feel better for about a day if that. In my experience fighting and starting drama with each other when you know theres no going back is just a sub concious way of attempting to keep the person in your life. The pain will still be there in the morning and you may even feel worse for the things you did/said. Hope ya feel better soon!
I"m pretty happy right now, she called me kissing my ass for everything back, and thats all. Her friend saw some of the shit I posted on her facebook and I turned her friend against her, fine with me, I mean this is the BREAK YOUR HEART thread, so why wouldnt you want to get revenge on someone who purposely hurts you? I"ve got the upperhand for now and I"m happy, I feel tons better after having her begging me for her shit back cause of the stuff I posted in public on her facebook wall. She was all "you"re humilating me people are txting and calling me non stop"

I know it was childish but when someone does that childish shit to you sometimes its just nice to get down n dirty. I left my mark and she"ll learn her lesson hopefully this time.

Yep the playboy sun tan thing is a definate mark of ho. I do agree with the subconscious thign to keep them in your life though, I felt that way when she was asking for forgiveness and me to feel sorry for her, I was like wait i feel better but wait I dont want this girl to keep kisisng my ass everyday I want this over with, this isnt going to work. I felt like I was cheating at my "move on" plan, so yeah. But I know I was hurting more knowing she screwed me over and is out there going on dates with another guy, so getting my fun in really made me feel like I got my "fuck you" back.

Ironically, the whole friend situation, she gave the friend my number and the friend was like do you know anythign about her and my bf, I know they talk a lot about me etc and I think its terrible what she did to you, I was like sure I can find you a nice conversation between them two. And this girl just happens to be one of her best friends that shes stop talking to lately so mission bang ex gf"s bf then post pic is on the way I think. She replied after I sent her the convo like thanks so much I hope you feel better if you need to talk I wont mind and be strong! lol
 

Dabamf_sl

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lost, you"re a fuckin douchebag when you tell her daddy on her. What are you 4? Revenge is good when it"s in the form of "holy shit I found out my girlfriend is cheating on me while I"m currently doing her a big favor (moving), fuck it I"m turning around, using her car that she lent me to do the favor, and going out with my boys." When it is tell on her to her daddy because she didn"t give a shit about you, it makes you a faggot.

Eomer said:
asking her .....if we were gonna hang out.
.........
I said no worries that I had expected as much but to let me know if she got finished up
................
I asked her if she was still intending on coming camping with my friends and I in a couple weeks for the long weekend
You are being 100% available for her, and it is completely her discretion whether to see you or not. Can"t you see how you are being completely uninteresting?

I"m okay with a few tattoos that are fairly non-descript on girls, but find much more than that a turn off, she joked that she was doing it to scare me off etc.
This line tells me with 99% certainty that she has little to no interest left. The only reason she"s holding on is the memory of her feelings for you and the fact that she"s already invested a lot of energy into the relationship. People"s true feelings are frequently revealed in joking form, because the usual self-censorship is bypassed as jokes allow a much wider range of acceptable statements. This is without a doubt one of those cases. I know because I"ve let jokes like that slip on accident with girls I wasn"t really interested in but was trying to / was sleeping with, and afterwards I realized I let my true feelings slip in joke form.

and she said that was still her plan. She also mentioned that she might be going to Montreal for two weeks over the summer to stay with family there (and would be there for her birthday).
She said yes, tentatively, but mentioned that something else might come up, but it was very vague. She"s holding the camping trip for backup plan in case she has nothing else going on. The entire relationship seems like that. She"s holding on to you, but always allowing the opportunity for something better to happen. Girl"s don"t often break up with someone, especially someone they may still like a little bit, unless they have someone else to go to. There is no doubt in my mind that if some new exciting guy comes around, you are gone. Do yourself a favor and cut it off now, as she needs an ultimatum (beg you back with changed behavior, or say bye).


Really Eomer, I hate to say it but there is no doubt in my mind that she"s not interested anymore. The ONLY hope you have I think is to break up with her now. Say you have been understanding and patient, more than most would be, but you"ve had enough of being an afterthought and it"s time for you to move on. She may feel guilty and/or get the fear of loss and try to make it up to you and act better. Really though, look at it from an outside perspective, reread what you wrote, and think objectively.

Any waiting around and you are 100% fucked no question.
 

lost

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Hey whatever she used to me, I knew what would hit her hard the most and I took advantage of it cause she hit me hard the most, I found new shit out today that blew my mind away, so yeah I dont see any difference between stealing her car and going 100 miles away leaving her there vs telling ehr dad, the only difference being taking her car is illegal.
 

Brad2770

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Her dad wont care, I promise. Whatever you think you might have with her (or him), it doesnt matter, because in the long run, he is older (and probably knew you guys wouldnt last. yay wisdom) and most importantly- SHE IS HIS DAUGHTER and youre the dead beat she doesnt want anymore.

Youre just gunna make yourself look dumb.
 

Ortega_foh

shitlord
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Lost-You"ll never break the father/daughter tie.. Let it go!!!!

Eomer- Dabamf is right, but I would say even if you act soon you have like a 2% chance at best of her coming around. I think you"re trapped in the circle of clingyness as I call it. She"s getting more and more distant so you make yourself more and more available/understanding which just makes her more and more distant until it gets all kinds of fucked up to the point of her breaking it off completely or you getting pissed off because she"s being such a self centered bitch. At this point you can"t change your personality because she will know something is up so you"re kind of fucked on that route too. Good luck though man and I"m sorry. I too just want to find a girl I can love and be with, but it seems our psychology on both sides is all to fucked up to let that happen lol
 

bofa_sl

shitlord
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some pretty solid advice on this last page. quick question..had teach over last night for some homemade bbq chicken pizza action, everything was great, killed two bottles of wine, nice little make out session at the end before she left. we left it at we"ll hang out again soon as we"re both busy this weekend.

I"ve initiated both dates bringing her out/having her over, she"s definitely interested, so should I just wait to hear back from her via whatever means of communication? I don"t want to be "too available" as that seems to be a deal breaker...what do you sages think?
 

Tenks

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You can"t really sit back on your heels until you"re around 6-8 dates in. I generally don"t start until 3 months in and even still I am the one who comes up with the date ideas most of the time.

You seem to need to get it through your mind that as the guy of the relationship it is your job to make most of these decisions. Girls are afraid if they choose something you don"t like you"ll be mad at them so they rarely want to have the final word. However the inverse isn"t always true it seems "its the thought that counts" is actually true for females which isn"t always true for guys. In other words make sure you don"t text/call her every day until you"re deeply entrenched in "serious relationship" status and just have fun with it. Sounds like she really digs you just make sure you don"t smother her because you like her just as much.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Congrats on the success bofa. I think Tenks may be right. Be cautious about letting go of the reigns. It"s annoying, but a fact that every guy accepts at some point: you are gonna have to take control most of the time, even in an established relationship. Here"s a good rule of thumb: don"t give up the reigns unless she asks for them. Aka, you make plans with her at a patient and slowly-increasing pace and never expect her to take lead at any point. If she wants to set plans with you herself, let her, but don"t expect it.

Anyway, just general advice. Dunno for details on the call. When it doubt act like you are insanely busy with 100 friends and think "when would I call/txt/set a date if I were that guy?" Good luck.
 

Venjenz_foh

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Eomer said:
Venjenz: I obviously don"t agree with your interpretation, however I do concede you may well be right about Anne and her "true" subconscious feelings (and not the conscious ones that girls convince themselves of all the time, only to turn them on a dime). Her actions and behavior will be what truly indicates what"s going on, I guess.
Her actions and behavior already have, dude.

Dabamf has the camping trip thing nailed. Every answer out this chick"s mouth is some version of "we"ll see" which is dating-speak for "if nothing better comes up, and I am bored that day, sure."

The conversation anecdotes speak for themselves. Nobody who is "into" someone else acts like this chick does towards you.
Eomer said:
However at the same time, you"re not really offering a productive alternative other than "dump that bitch."
1) "Dump that bitch" is productive. It frees your mind and body to pursue more productive avenues of happiness.

2) I am not saying you can"t be this chick"s friend, but dude, stay pals and date someone else who actually wants to date you, and not just have you as their always available, totally accessible, easily bullied, guy-in-the-pocket. It would be one thing if she treated you like she does but made Taylor Raine look like a Puritan in the sack. At least then you"d have epic fuck stories to even out being her bitch. From what we know so far, this is not the case, so you"re just "guy friend" she passes time with until the guy who makes her a cock slave comes along.

EDIT - and upon further reflection, maybe dumping that bitch and banging some new hotties will actually make you more attractive to her, and she will sign up for being your cock slave. You never know dude, but clearly "kiss her ass and beg" ain"t getting "er done.
Eomer said:
Personally I"d rather see where things go from here for awhile before deciding to call it quits. As far as how "badly" I will tolerate being treated, the answer is not very much. I"m NOT one to cling to a mediocre relationship and in fact prefer being single to being in a relationship that"s not going anywhere but is tolerable or comfortable. It"s either single and not in a relationship, or in a relationship that is moving somewhere for me. Two extremes I guess.
If what you say about choosing being single over a relationship going nowhere were true, then you"d already have dumped this chick. You can"t recognize this thing as going nowhere? Really?

And to echo a few other folks in this thread - if nothing else, stop being so ridiculously accesible and compliant to her schedule whims. Nobody can respect someone who kisses their ass, and nothing kisses ass with chicks more than being 100% at their beck and call.
 

Eomer

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Dabamf said:
This line tells me with 99% certainty that she has little to no interest left. The only reason she"s holding on is the memory of her feelings for you and the fact that she"s already invested a lot of energy into the relationship. People"s true feelings are frequently revealed in joking form, because the usual self-censorship is bypassed as jokes allow a much wider range of acceptable statements. This is without a doubt one of those cases. I know because I"ve let jokes like that slip on accident with girls I wasn"t really interested in but was trying to / was sleeping with, and afterwards I realized I let my true feelings slip in joke form.
Again though, I would say "oh, this relationship just isn"t working" frequently when things were going well, on a joking basis (for example if she admitted to liking country, or a bad TV show, or hadn"t seen Old School, or whatever). She would joke like that as well. Although as I"ve said, you and others might well be right.

She said yes, tentatively, but mentioned that something else might come up, but it was very vague. She"s holding the camping trip for backup plan in case she has nothing else going on.
Sorry, but the Montreal thing is a different time, end of July while the camping is beginning. She didn"t give me a tentative yes, she said she was going.

Really Eomer, I hate to say it but there is no doubt in my mind that she"s not interested anymore.The ONLY hope you have I think is to break up with her now. Say you have been understanding and patient, more than most would be, but you"ve had enough of being an afterthought and it"s time for you to move on. She may feel guilty and/or get the fear of loss and try to make it up to you and act better. Really though, look at it from an outside perspective, reread what you wrote, and think objectively.

Any waiting around and you are 100% fucked no question.
I don"t see how ending the relationship is a "hope" . Again, you guys might well be right, but simply ending it now only guarantees that it won"t continue. What"s a couple more weeks to see if things get better when I"ve already invested a couple months? Hell, at the very least I"ll see how the wedding goes tomorrow and go from there.
 

Venjenz_foh

shitlord
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Eomer said:
Hell, at the very least I"ll see how the wedding goes tomorrow and go from there.
If you don"t come out of tomorrow having shagged her rotten, the "relationship" is officially dead, kaput, buried.

Weddings really do make women hot, either with passion or jealousy, but either should be an easy play for you to throw down and wreck that shit. Add in free alcohol at the reception, and this should be as easy as getting laid on Canal Street in Amsterdam...if you are in a "relationship that is going somewhere" that is.