Teacher huh? Please tell me you"re like 17 and she"s 28 and just smoking hot. Allow us to live vicariously through you.bofa said:
Girls who broke your heart thread
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Big_w_powah
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Fucking Truth.Venjenz said:
Seriously Eomer, the reason dumping her is a hope is because if you dump her you are standing up for yourself. Taking confidence that you aren"t an afterthought and worth more than half-a-fuck.
She"s treating you like shit, dump the bitch and move on. If you really want her, the chances are half-decent she"ll be begging for your cock if you fuck her best friend.
Further on what Big W Powah! said: Dabamf meant "hope" as in breaking up with Anne now could be the kick she needs to realize what a good thing she has, rather than delaying the inevitable outcome further. When someone, anyone, is on the fence about any decision, it takes somethinghappeningto get them to ultimately make up their mind. He"s proposing that you provide that catalyst and regain some control instead of passively waiting for it to stumble into Anne.
Last ditch effort, I suppose. Do read all of these.
I know you fell hard for Chuck and had (almost) the same stirrings with Anne, so I didn"t dredge all this up to be an ass, really. You"re going to do what you"re going to do. I"m trying to point out that despite you saying you wanted to learn from your mistakes, to us on the outside, it doesn"t appear that way. These accounts are highly suspect on the internet, it"s all biased and so on. But truly, there"s only so much of, "Well you guys had to be there: it really doesn"t sound as bad as it is" one can offer. No amount of sarcasm, good-natured humor, and other jokes can that drastically alter the bones of a story. What I don"t get is, if you"ve already tried the waiting game in the not too distant past with ill effect, why do you think it"ll work now? ^^;
Ah well. Let us know how the wedding goes tomorrow.
Last ditch effort, I suppose. Do read all of these.
Eomer said:
Eomer said:
Eomer said:
Eomer said:
These are all (truncated) quotes from your account of the end... withChuck. If her name hadn"t been there, would anyone here be able to tell the difference between this and your current situation?Eomer said:
I know you fell hard for Chuck and had (almost) the same stirrings with Anne, so I didn"t dredge all this up to be an ass, really. You"re going to do what you"re going to do. I"m trying to point out that despite you saying you wanted to learn from your mistakes, to us on the outside, it doesn"t appear that way. These accounts are highly suspect on the internet, it"s all biased and so on. But truly, there"s only so much of, "Well you guys had to be there: it really doesn"t sound as bad as it is" one can offer. No amount of sarcasm, good-natured humor, and other jokes can that drastically alter the bones of a story. What I don"t get is, if you"ve already tried the waiting game in the not too distant past with ill effect, why do you think it"ll work now? ^^;
Ah well. Let us know how the wedding goes tomorrow.
I just can"t get past (talking about Eomer & Anne), two people in an established relationship having a night out (even if it was to end early) and it not ending up in bed together, ESPECIALLY if circumstances had kept them apart for a while. Even if it"s just a quiet fuck and off to sleep early. It really sounds like she just isn"t that in to you bud or has changed her mind or wtfever.
It comes back to what I said before and Iknowyou don"t agree but this is the root of all your problems. She (Anne), lives with her parents, comments a lot about you paying for shit etc. It sounds like she doesn"t feel she is contributing or that you aren"t letting her contribute. I know you don"t think that"s the case but seriously, there is a yawning chasm between you in social terms and its obviously bothering her.
The piece-de-resistance is the whole spiel about you listening to her for an hour and then when you try to change the subject she gets pissy. Seriously, there is a limit to being polite and if your relationship has been reduced to you being polite .. well .. see all the things Venjenz said.
If, at this wedding, you don"t hit it like the fist of an angry god then surely you know its done yes ?
It comes back to what I said before and Iknowyou don"t agree but this is the root of all your problems. She (Anne), lives with her parents, comments a lot about you paying for shit etc. It sounds like she doesn"t feel she is contributing or that you aren"t letting her contribute. I know you don"t think that"s the case but seriously, there is a yawning chasm between you in social terms and its obviously bothering her.
The piece-de-resistance is the whole spiel about you listening to her for an hour and then when you try to change the subject she gets pissy. Seriously, there is a limit to being polite and if your relationship has been reduced to you being polite .. well .. see all the things Venjenz said.
If, at this wedding, you don"t hit it like the fist of an angry god then surely you know its done yes ?
I just wanted to point out that dumping her is ultimately not to get her thinking about you again. It may work and as I said in my last post there is like a 2% chance of that happening. The reason you dump her now is because you know what is coming and you will feel a hell of a lot better when she hooks up with another guy a month after you dump her then when she drops your ass a month later for another guy... The first thing you"ll say to yourself is "why the hell did I let her treat me like that, I SAW THIS COMING DAMNIT!" or some such variation... I truly hope you"ll stop rationalizing your situation and do what needs to be done. Yes it will suck, but believe me the fall that is coming if you don"t act and take some pride in yourself will hurt much more
Eomer, you know when you see someone post here about their relationship, and from an outside view, you and everyone else on the board can see what clearly is happening and advice is given appropriately, but the poster is like "no, it"s not like that, it"s different!" and then they come here a week later about how they just got dumped/cheated on/slurped their semen out of a vagina?
That"s you right now. Look at the obvious.
If you don"t bang her after the wedding, gtfo.
That"s you right now. Look at the obvious.
If you don"t bang her after the wedding, gtfo.
(emphasis mine)niteflyx said:
That makes three people saying the same thing - truth.
I would still like to add that by "bang", we all mean "merciless post-wedding reception, drunken, hate-how-rotten-and-sinful-you-are-in-the-morning, make-Quineloe-proud" type of banging.
If she relents and then lays there like a dead fish, gtfo.
Heh, even if they get it on it really doesn"t mean anything unless her personality changes. I fucked my ex every time I saw her, even at work, and she was still distant as fuck and showed all the classic signs of being bored. In the end it turned out that she was lieing about everything and she ran back to her ex and got married lol. Fucking really means jack and shit when it comes to relationship status, although if you don"t sleep with her then I will say things are even worse then I thought.
Something to consider, when I was younger I moved to a new place and I was like "This"ll be awesome, no one knows who I am cause I didn"t grow up with any of these people, I don"t have that baggage." People ended up treating me the same way. The problem, as I figured out pretty fast at that point, was actually me. Though Anne sounds like a typical female at this point, it seems any girl you get really interested in has the same reaction to you eventually.Eomer said:
Something to consider for the next time you meet a girl you really like, as I think your current relationship needs a fork stuck in it. Sorry!
This is what I meant.Alcestis said:
I didn"t read the stories about Chuck, but for what its worth, I thought these quotes were about Anne until Alcestis said otherwise. The wording was different but the message was the same so I assumed that I remembered the details wrongly.Alcestis said:
Let me offer an evaluation of my own dating behavior, independently confirmed by my brother when he gave me a "here is your problem" speech. I have the cocky/funny down pat, I am great in circumstances where a girl is testing me, trying to embarass me or test my resolve. I am never afraid to bust on a girl for things she does and girls always love me for it. Then, when I actually start liking a girl, I continue to do these cocky/funny things, but there is something about my behavior that betrays me. I can"t pinpoint it, but even though I front the cockiness, some clinginess/betamale traits seep through in relationships when I become a little complacent. It"s something I have improved upon significantly over the course of just a couple instances, but it still exists. It"s something I won"t be able to fully fix until my identity and beliefs are more firmly established. It"s an "inner game" (as they call it) issue, and establishing a solid inner game is really the ultimate goal of trying to improve with women.
I"m giving this because this seems like it could fit you perfectly also. It"s a guess because I"ve never talked to you in person, but you certainly seem to have the alpha behavior down pat at first, and on the surface, but I think your inner state of mind & neediness might be seeping through when you open up more. Just an observation and hypothesis, I"m curious how accurately you think it fits you.
Eomer
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Well from where I stand and after 3 days of you fuckers beating me down, I can"t say that I disagree too much. I"m thinking of it like this: when things started to go sideways is where I really went wrong. Maybe things had gotten too serious too fast up to that point, regardless of who pushed it in that direction. But the situation was salvageable at that point, had I just left her be and not prodded her for an explanation of what was going on the first few days. But I did and came across super needy, and that only served to knock her perception of me down several notches, and at this point I"ve dug myself a deep hole that there is probably no getting out of.Dabamf said:
However on the other hand, had there not been the issue of the ex-fuck buddy, maybe without that as a trigger I wouldn"t have ended up in this situation. Or maybe it would have happened anyway, or further down the road, or whatever. I don"t know.
We"ll see how the wedding goes. I foresee either painful awkwardness for 4-6 hours, or some massive drama storm, with a 10% chance of reconciliation.
The chances of that actually happening are zero dude. If Anne won"t even give me play, why in the fuck would she get together with me and an ex? And besides, Xerxes has had a steady boyfriend pretty much since a week or two after we called things off.Brad said:
Eomer, nothing is for sure. These are just speculations that may or may not pan out. I think you"re doing yourself a great disservice if you allow these speculations to bring you down and rule your actions 100%. Best thing to do is just to be yourself and just have fun. Forget all the bullshit and stop taking this so seriously. Stop over analyzing, over thinking, over anything. Women are a dime a dozen, remember that. If this doesn"t work out there will be many more out there who are just as qualified to date as Anne.
I honestly think that you posting here your relationship status every other day and over analyzing and scrutinizing every single detail of the relationship has lead to you having significant doubt in yourself and the relationship. I understand discussing big issues such as the ex-bf thing but the minute ones is what drags you down. Don"t read too much into insignificant shit. Like my dad always says, "Don"t sweat the small stuff". Doesn"t help either that people here pick apart every single detail of your posts either.
I honestly think that you posting here your relationship status every other day and over analyzing and scrutinizing every single detail of the relationship has lead to you having significant doubt in yourself and the relationship. I understand discussing big issues such as the ex-bf thing but the minute ones is what drags you down. Don"t read too much into insignificant shit. Like my dad always says, "Don"t sweat the small stuff". Doesn"t help either that people here pick apart every single detail of your posts either.
Eomer
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I think you"ve probably got a good point, and it"s one that"s occurred to me over the past week or two as well. Unfortunately, in this particular case, the damage is done.Aztlan said:
She called me just before lunch as I was pulling in to the bank parking lot. Right away I sensed something in her voice, and said she sounded stressed or something. She said that work"s crazy as usual and that she"s really tired from having gone to Coldplay last night and was feeling sick as well. She continued that she was only going to the wedding tonight for the ceremony and wouldn"t be staying around after, just going home to sleep, and that it"s probably just a waste of my time to come. I agreed that there didn"t seem much point in it and asked if she"d want to hang out after just watching a movie or something. She re-iterated that she was just going to go to sleep and she was feeling sick. I said fine, told her if she"s up for hanging out this weekend to give me a call, she reminded me that she was going out with her friends tomorrow night and didn"t really make any effort to set anything up. The conversation ended there.
I went in to the bank, did my shit, and came back out five minutes later. I tried calling her back, but she did not answer (I"m sure she was still on her lunch break). I was going to break up with her there, but left a message asking her to call me either this afternoon or after the wedding and didn"t say much else.
So at least for the time being, it"s done with. The only question is how to end it. Do I go in to detail with her on the phone? Do I make it quick? Do I make it clear that even though I"m going to move on for the time being, that she shouldn"t hesitate to call me if things change? I"m half tempted to write up an email because I just want to get it off my chest and shoulders, but we know how that"s gone in the past.
This sucks and it"ll hurt for awhile, but I just can"t see any point in pro-longing my agony.
Just make it quick. "This isn"t working out and your lack of effort is telling. We"re through. *click*"
That"s all that needs to be said.
And no emails, Shakespeare.
That"s all that needs to be said.
And no emails, Shakespeare.
You"re just going to be done with it because she hit a rough patch? Dang man! Don"t take the advice on here too serious, anyone can sit there and naysay relationships and be right 9 times out of 10, because most relationships fail. You could go to that wedding and shit on the marriage and probably be right about it ending in divorce in 10 years - that doesn"t make your logic flawless!Eomer said: