Girls who broke your heart thread

Dabamf said:

I think there"s no way to know, so stop thinking about it and just do. He may know about you, too, so you guys may have this little subtle war of dominance. Just be sure to win. Little subtle jabs about his lack of manliness, disguised as friendly joking, are always good. "Oh I"m surprised you"re drinking beer. I thought you"d be drinking pina coladas" with a smile and an air of friendliness. Something like that. I"m curious how that"s all gonna go down. Let us know what happens.

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Ignore the line. It"s an example I thought up in 2 seconds. I"m not suggesting he actually say that

He could just ask the girl if she wants to have sex with him?

text this

"sex and movie this Fri night?" That one is running at 100%, only 0 attempts so far however. But seriously, ask her.

Jumping into bed and assuming sex without talking about anything, especially in front of her friends. Girls don"t like that much. Unless you make a habit of it and wear her down. But who wants to be that guy?

I doubt much would happen on her birthday weekend for the same reason. She doesnt want her firends to think she"s a slut. She just wants the opportunity to be one without anyone finding out about it. Then someone to show off to her friends later on.

edit: and if she"s been broken up for 3 months plus she must be absolutely gagging for it... do foh proud

Like I said, she"s already been rebounding with that other dude for at least a couple months, including a trip to Mexico (dunno if it was just the two of them), but it doesn"t seem to have turned in to a relationship. Judging from how the two of them behaved at Folk Fest, he"s in to her and she"s just kind of stringing him along. I didn"t even know anything much was going on until later in the day and we were all getting fairly drunk and he started getting a bit touchy feely with her, which seemed to annoy her as much as anything.

I actually got along pretty well with him, seemed like a good enough guy. We"ll see what happens, it"s a few weeks away.

AladainAF said:

You"re wasting your time pursuing it.

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I haven"t "pursued" it. I"ve run in to her coincidentally a couple times, and a couple times she"s sought me out to hang out at events/happenings that I was already attending. That"s been about the extent of things. Perhaps if I go camping that might be "pursuing", but really I"m friends with her and know a couple of the other people going, and I"ve camped with them before. For all I know she"ll have a couple single friends there as well.

I"ve got zero time or effort wasted here, really.

AladainAF said:

She has to tell her mommy whos sleeping over?

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Maybe I wasn"t clear enough. Both she and the dude live in Calgary, and were in Edmonton for the Folk Fest. They crashed at her parent"s place after a day of heavy drinking before driving home the next day, is all. I don"t find it unusual that a parent would be curious about who else had stayed over.

Eomer,
"So what"s the verdict? Just a girl looking for some attention or friends while going through a break-up? Or is she interested? "

I had an experience through most of high school with a girl like that. Don"t let her put you in her back pocket or you"ll be introduced to other guys as "the rebound lolololol" or "guy I"m fooling around with lolololol". She"s the type of girl that once you fuck her, she becomes clingy as fuck.

"I"ve got zero time or effort wasted here, really."
Good. TITS or GTFO is a real life rule as well. The way you describe her personality, she isn"t looking for a boyfriend. She"s looking for an innocent guy to fuck without anyone knowing (maybe why you didn"t get laid that night in the cabin?)

TheCutlery said:

No, but it appears that these are the chicks that are the target at this stage of life for these guys, and that"s the sad part. They"re learning some elaborate game because they have to in order to figure out what the fuck is going on inside these bitches" heads, and that knowledge has absolutely zero use in a real relationship.

Good luck telling them that though.

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You know, I"d never thought that I would once agree with you, especialy in this thread, but that is so true.

AladainAF said:

Translation: You thought you had an opportunity to be with her at Folk Fest to get something going, but got blindsided by some guy that was all "touchy feely" with her. If she didn"t push him away, or ditch him in favor of you, the game is up, move on. Her "rebound"? That"s amazing, especially since you was asking you if you knew anyone with tickets. She"s a bitch, and attention whore, who wants to be accepted by men now that her squeeze dumped her after a few years.

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Prior to that day I hadn"t even considered her an option, actually, and figured we were hanging out as friends no different than the other people I hung out with that day. And I think it was the same for her. However as the day progressed and we got drunk, there was some flirting going on and a lightbulb went on for me, if not her.

AladainAF said:

She"s looking for attention. Make her pursue you at this point if you just can"t get rid of her from your mind. Otherwise, she"s just stringing you along. Also, next time you guys go out, dont bring mutual friends and shit. Do something alone, force a date. If she doesn"t wanna go, there is your answer.

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Again, she HAS been the one setting things up, not me. I was going to Folk Fest and had a couple dozen people to hang out with, she decided last minute to drive up for one of the four days and brought along Rebound Guy. The weekend after that, she texted me and asked if I wanted to meet at a lake between Edmonton and Calgary for the day (I would assume she was with other friends), but I couldn"t as I was working. Then a couple days after that, she asks me what I"m up to the next weekend, which is when I had plans to go stay at a rented house in the mountains with some friends. She decided to tag along. The morning she left, she asked me if I would be interested again in heading to the lake with her, I said no because I had to drive my bike home and didn"t want to in the dark, at which point she offered that I could crash at her place on the Sunday night, and again that didn"t work for me. She also invited me to go camping with her and some other mutual friends this upcoming weekend, which I can"t make due to a stag. And then also asked me if I wanted to go camping a couple weeks from now, which I"m on the fence about.

No, none of them have been for just the two of us, and it"s entirely possible she"s just looking for friends to hang out with. Likely, even. Hence why I was curious what others thought about the situation. But the point stands that I haven"t been pursuing her. And as I mentioned already, it"s tough to set up anything resembling a date since we currently live 3 hours apart.

So as I"ve already said, I"m not going to do anything other than possibly go camping in a few weeks, which is something I haven"t done enough of this summer anyway. If it seems like something"s up, whether or not Rebound Guy is around, great I"ll take it from there. If not, no big deal.

lol, christ some of you guys really seem to hate women. I just don"t see how she"s being an "attention whore." This is someone I"ve known for 5 years. Maybe not well, but she"s a friend. Never hung out much with her cause she was joined at the hip with her semi-dirtbag boyfriend nearly the entire time I"ve known her.

There"s basically two scenarios here:

-She"s recently moved to a new city and gone through a break-up with a long term boyfriend, and those two things combined have left her feeling a bit lonely. She"s simply looking for someone to hang out with or fill out her social circle, but not romantically even if she"s flirty sometimes. Cool. She might have friends I"d be interested in, if not it"s always good having more people to do fun shit with.

-She"s recently moved to a new city and gone through a break-up with a long term boyfriend, and those two things combined have left her feeling a bit lonely. After bumping in to each other a couple times, she"s realized that I might be a suitable candidate for dating, and has been trying to set up times to hang out casually to see if there"s anything there on either end of the deal. Also cool.

I don"t see how you get attention whore out of any of that.

I don"t get the attention whore thing, either. If you ignore an attention whore, they move on to the next person.

You guys really ride Eomer"s ass lol

Eomer said:

Maybe I wasn"t clear enough. Both she and the dude live in Calgary, and were in Edmonton for the Folk Fest. They crashed at her parent"s place after a day of heavy drinking before driving home the next day, is all. I don"t find it unusual that a parent would be curious about who else had stayed over.

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I take back any implication of weirdness. It didn"t come across that they were at her parent"s house. It is a bit odd that she told them it was you instead of him.

I don"t see why you wouldn"t go camping with her when you"re available. It doesn"t seem like you"re really wanting to date her so much that being friended would even be half bad. I also don"t see anything that screams attention whore. Doesn"t everybody have one of those friends who gets flirty (even a little handsy when they"re drunk maybe) at times anyways?

Well I figure I would come here and post the closing chapter of my little drama.

Been talking to Mel for the past 3 days. She finally told me why everything went to shit. She had been with her first husband for 12 years. I was the first man she cheated on her husband with. After we got married she cheated on me. She said that it drove her crazy because she wanted to tell me but was scared to, After a while she got tired fo feeling scared all the time and started to blame me for how she was feeling. She came to hate me because of this. She then decided that she must never have loved me since she cheated on me so quickly and she never did her first husband. She then decided that she hated me for taking her away from him. So she left me and went back to him and now hates everything about me.

I still love her and always will but I have to leave all this behind me I just don"t know how yet. I have been out with 1/2 a dozen women since then and had sex with 4 of them. Nothing seems to help. I had to stop drinking because every time I started I would get drunk. I have never been this way with another woman in my entire life. I talked to a shrink 4 times but talking about it doesn"t help it just hurts me even more. I have stopped going out on dates. I have decided I am going to go become a millionaire like my father and see if I can drown this pain in work. I no longer know what else to do.

Camerous Valde Unus said:

Been talking to Mel for the past 3 days.

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Cut that out. She"s blaming you for her cheating? That"s just all kinds of fucked up. Did you bring up antidepressants with your shrink? That kind of thing can help you out, even just for a few months. Frankly, I don"t know your previous history with women or anything like that, but this one clearly did you wrong.

Wasn"t she the pill pocking whackjob who"s own kids told you to move on? And stop talking to her and listening to her crazy fucking stories, after all this time that"s the best she can come up with? Talking to her probably helped her more than you, she gets to finally air out of fucking wacko theory and you learn nothing new except she is even more batshit insane than you realize.