dany operates in shades of grey and that's fine if she and the people around her are aware of it. i mean, ned being UNWILLING to operate in any gray areas is basically what started this whole thing. but like mist pointed out, everything happening in essos is almost through the lens of people who love her, so everything she does is absolutely justified regardless of the fallout that would ACTUALLY occur (and probably has in mereen. if you kill the people in power, the power doesn't just spread around evenly. it creates a vacuum and creates more violence from people scrambling to fill that void before someone else does).
Why do people say that?
Ned obstinately trying to protect women and children is what started this whole thing, not Ned unwilling to operate in gray areas.
Ned, took a hit to his honor and vows to protect Jon snow. Grey area, in the name of protecting a child.
Argued against killing Dany as a child.
Ned went against the laws, customs, etc to attempt to protect Circe and her children from Robert, due to Circes treason. Grey area, where he was clearly in the wrong, in the name of protecting children. THAT got him killed, and that started this. He tried to offer shelter and a way out to someone that committed the highest of treason... how is that not willing to operate in a gray area? arguably "operating in a grey area" by not killing the treasonous whore immediately, was his biggest mistake.
Ned then sullied his own good name, by pleading guilty to treason that he didnt do, in the name of protecting his children..
Protecting children was his only "flaw". He was just fine with many other grey areas, breaking tradition, breaking vows, laws, etc as needed.