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Well folks, what a fucking couple of years it has been.
I've had cancer. Treatment successful. One major surgery.
My wife had cancer. Three major surgeries. Treatment successful.
Wife's father died. Serious Alzheimer's and dementia. Stopped eating. Gruesome ending.
Wife's mother has severe Alzheimer's. She's non verbal, but physically she can last a long, long time.
Wife's younger brother just found out he has multiple myeloma. He is 46. He hurt his knee this summer. The pain crept up his leg until last week when he couldn't move. The lesions fractured his tibia, and then his hip completely collapsed. He's just had hip replacement surgery today, we'll know more about the cancer in about 2 days. He might have to endure chemo and/or radiation while convalescing from hip replacement surgery, with another surgery to replace his tibia, or at least reinforce it with titanium. He's fucking 46.
I'm having headaches that reduce my mental capacity for about a half hour at a time. It's somewhat like seizures, and it's just as unpredictable. While having a headache of this sort I don't trust myself to drive or make any decisions. I'm having them 3 or 4 times a month. I have irregularities in my upper spine, a couple of nerves are pinched, I have lost strength in my dominant hand and my fingers are tingly. This is likely occipital neuralgia, which is treatable, but permanent.
My mother has severe Covid, and at her age they are watching it closely because she's having trouble breathing. She's late 80s, this is no joke.
I've lived well and healthy, so has my wife's family. So has my mother. So has my wife.
I'm fucking sick to death of this. I'm not coping well. This evening I was sitting on the couch, just laying back with my eyes closed, trying to take in the news of my brother in law being in surgery for a new hip at such a young age, and my youngest son climbed in and sat on my lap, something he hasn't done for years for obvious reasons (he's 16), and he wrapped his arms around me and we just sat like that for a few minutes. That was both the most wonderful and the most horrible part of my week. He knows what's going on. He knows how it is affecting both me and my wife. He is being amazing, and a caretaker. He shouldn't have to be that, but I admit, he made me feel so much better. I'm getting solace from my son when I should be the strong one for him.
Honestly guys, I don't let the guard down much, but I'm at the end of my rope. I have spent more time in tears in the last week than is likely healthy. I have a fantastic support community, and my wife and children are absolutely here, we are all here for each other. It has just built up so much recently it's just so much to cope with. I'm pretty broken.
Okay, end of my sob fest. I just needed to say it, and you guys are the best source to find ways to mock me for this, so that's why I'm here.
I've had cancer. Treatment successful. One major surgery.
My wife had cancer. Three major surgeries. Treatment successful.
Wife's father died. Serious Alzheimer's and dementia. Stopped eating. Gruesome ending.
Wife's mother has severe Alzheimer's. She's non verbal, but physically she can last a long, long time.
Wife's younger brother just found out he has multiple myeloma. He is 46. He hurt his knee this summer. The pain crept up his leg until last week when he couldn't move. The lesions fractured his tibia, and then his hip completely collapsed. He's just had hip replacement surgery today, we'll know more about the cancer in about 2 days. He might have to endure chemo and/or radiation while convalescing from hip replacement surgery, with another surgery to replace his tibia, or at least reinforce it with titanium. He's fucking 46.
I'm having headaches that reduce my mental capacity for about a half hour at a time. It's somewhat like seizures, and it's just as unpredictable. While having a headache of this sort I don't trust myself to drive or make any decisions. I'm having them 3 or 4 times a month. I have irregularities in my upper spine, a couple of nerves are pinched, I have lost strength in my dominant hand and my fingers are tingly. This is likely occipital neuralgia, which is treatable, but permanent.
My mother has severe Covid, and at her age they are watching it closely because she's having trouble breathing. She's late 80s, this is no joke.
I've lived well and healthy, so has my wife's family. So has my mother. So has my wife.
I'm fucking sick to death of this. I'm not coping well. This evening I was sitting on the couch, just laying back with my eyes closed, trying to take in the news of my brother in law being in surgery for a new hip at such a young age, and my youngest son climbed in and sat on my lap, something he hasn't done for years for obvious reasons (he's 16), and he wrapped his arms around me and we just sat like that for a few minutes. That was both the most wonderful and the most horrible part of my week. He knows what's going on. He knows how it is affecting both me and my wife. He is being amazing, and a caretaker. He shouldn't have to be that, but I admit, he made me feel so much better. I'm getting solace from my son when I should be the strong one for him.
Honestly guys, I don't let the guard down much, but I'm at the end of my rope. I have spent more time in tears in the last week than is likely healthy. I have a fantastic support community, and my wife and children are absolutely here, we are all here for each other. It has just built up so much recently it's just so much to cope with. I'm pretty broken.
Okay, end of my sob fest. I just needed to say it, and you guys are the best source to find ways to mock me for this, so that's why I'm here.
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