Home buying thread

Well I'm glad to know inconsiderate assholes are not localized to my neighborhood and are instead a nation wide epidemic

Tenks_sl said:

Big Ass Fucking Gay I Have No Dick truck is directly across from Soccer Mom Short Haircut Bad Dye Job minivan.

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I think I know which neighbourhood you live in!

Lejina_sl said:

Yeah read that one a little too fast. Never lived anywhere close to a place prone to legit flooding so that didn't even register. When I read it I thought sewer backup, bursting pipes and the likes.

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In my particular case a bad storm caused my retaining wall to collapse, causing mud runoff to clog the external drainage around my basement, which caused ground water to flood my basement. It was awesome.

Khane_sl said:

In my particular case a bad storm caused my retaining wall to collapse, causing mud runoff to clog the external drainage around my basement, which caused ground water to flood my basement. It was awesome.

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Holy crap. About 840 things have to be just right for all that shit to happen at once. That sucks, man.

Tenks_sl said:

I wish they banned parking on at least one side of the street in my neighborhood. For some reason even though everyone has a 2 car garage there are a fuckton of cars on the road and pretty often you have to go down a narrow tunnel in the middle of the road because Big Ass Fucking Gay I Have No Dick truck is directly across from Soccer Mom Short Haircut Bad Dye Job minivan. Its maddening. From my seeing into people's garage most people just have tons of random shit occupying what would be a garage spot. For whatever reason they prioritize broken patio furniture as being more important than protecting their car from the elements and getting dinged parking on the road.

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Yeah our neighborhood is like that. It's a quiet neighborhood at least, so it's not like the speed limit is 30, but it's pretty ridiculous anyways. What I find the most annoying is it's always people with 2 car-wide driveways and a garage with 1 car in the driveway and 1 in the street. Meanwhile, I have a single width driveway and no garage and I'm always parked in it.

Magically whenever it snows and we get a parking ban they're all able to park in their driveways. It must kill them.

Damn septic failed title V. Here in Massachusetts you can't even sell the damn house until that passes. The inspector says that it has not been emptied in more than five years, and something about some layer going up into the inspection ports. No idea what he was talking about. He says they are looking at 10K to get it right.

FUCK!!

When we were looking for a house we checked my old town and nearly every single house said "FAILED TITLE V - buyer must pay to fix"

It was shocking how many houses were failing it.

Noodlemod_sl said:

It's a quiet neighborhood at least, so it's not like the speed limit is 30

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This leads into my other rant. Fucking speeding in neighborhoods. The speed limit in mine is 20. Fucking I've seen assholes who had to of been doing at least 35-40 flying down my street. There are god damn children in this neighborhood, there are pets in this neighorhood and all manner of anything else that could jump out at you. But noooooooo. Some fucking cunt face in his faggot Jeep Wrangler needs to get to wherever the fuck he's going so fucking fast he's putting everyone around him at risk. Because this dick nibbler has decided his necessity to get to Point A and Point B exactly 20 seconds faster than if he obeyed the speed limit is the world's most important thing in the world. I honestly can't believe people are always up in arms about gun control but seem to be fine letting every Joe Inbreed drive around a 1ton bullet.

Brahma_sl said:

Damn septic failed title V. Here in Massachusetts you can't even sell the damn house until that passes. The inspector says that it has not been emptied in more than five years, and something about some layer going up into the inspection ports. No idea what he was talking about. He says they are looking at 10K to get it right.

FUCK!!

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At 10k to fix I wonder how much that averages out to price per shit taken in the house

Well there is one street in our neighborhood that connects two very busy streets - people use it as a pass through and go 40+. Last year during a snowstorm I was walking my dog and almost legitimately got killed. I had to jump into someones yard because some douche was going 40 and lost control.

Noodlemod_sl said:

Well there is one street in our neighborhood that connects two very busy streets - people use it as a pass through and go 40+. Last year during a snowstorm I was walking my dog and almost legitimately got killed. I had to jump into someones yard because some douche was going 40 and lost control.

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I'd potentially petition the city to install speed bumps

Deathwing_sl said:

About $3.50

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The loch ness monster was living in the septic?

Brahma_sl said:

Damn septic failed title V. Here in Massachusetts you can't even sell the damn house until that passes. The inspector says that it has not been emptied in more than five years, and something about some layer going up into the inspection ports. No idea what he was talking about. He says they are looking at 10K to get it right.

FUCK!!

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They probably never even bothered to switch leach fields in that 5 years if they were too lazy to get it pumped.

Brahma_sl said:

Damn septic failed title V. Here in Massachusetts you can't even sell the damn house until that passes. The inspector says that it has not been emptied in more than five years, and something about some layer going up into the inspection ports. No idea what he was talking about. He says they are looking at 10K to get it right.

FUCK!!

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TX started the deal with it being a law requiring the septic to pass before the sale of a house. I was going to buy a house in a rural area and the county didn't even have an inspector except for in town commercial type stuff. I don't know what they wound up doing, it basically froze home sales in the county till they could get the paperwork filled out.

I was going to buy the land/house and tear it down. They couldn't even sell it to be non inhabitable. Paperwork.

Lady who owned one of the local companies that pumped them out was making a killing. She turned over a list of people who had done it in the past but were "overdue" and was blackmailing people to have it done or risk being turned over to the state and fined.

It was quite a deal. I was expecting them to find her dead at some point. The house I wanted to buy was land locked by the national forest. I'm sure one house with a single person was going to upset nature if the septic tank wasn't emptied right considering people were shitting in the woods all day 1/4 mile away on a popular trail thru the area.

lurkingdirk_sl said:

Holy crap. About 840 things have to be just right for all that shit to happen at once. That sucks, man.

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His house was featured on Engineering Disasters VII