J49: An Erotic Life

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Chancellor Alkorin

Part-Time Sith
<Granularity Engineer>
6,051
6,036
Surprise twist: J53 is Diazepane's alter ego. When he's "awake", he's a paranoid bastard surrounded by cameras that record him jerking off, against his will and beyond his control. When he's "asleep", he's at a club, banging whores in front of a peanut gallery of strangers and loving every minute of it.
 

Slyminxy

Lord Nagafen Raider
786
-686
or maybe....consider this...I AM JUST THAT DAMN GOOD !!!!!
Stop drinking that koo-laid. Seriously dude.

She's either very good at disguising her true feelings for you - as multiple people have said, preparing the Brutal Canon (Must be reloaded every day) and a plethora of lawyers

OR

she's got issues of her own and is willing to forgive any and all sins to keep up the image in front of the kids, the neighbours, family and the rest of the world of a couple that "doesn't have problems, but is coursing through the troubles of life Together, forever".

Well.. There is a third option, but considering from your posts, that's not it. You could be a master at scrambling peoples brains and you've sucessfully scrambled your wife's brains into thinking she's nothing without you. Zero. Zip. Less than the disease ridden whores addicted to drugs that you bang every week in front of strangers. And she plays the dutiful wife because she has no choice.

Without realizing she could take your house, your paycheck, everything you own, keep the kids and tell you to go fuck another whore.
 

PatrickStar

Trakanon Raider
1,529
558
We are clearly stuck in the Season 5 of a long running sitcom. The good stories have already been done and the show needs an infusion. Normally this is when the new baby is introduced or a whacking cousin moves in.
 

jooka

marco esquandolas
<Bronze Donator>
14,863
6,391
Capri needs to bitch slap the wife around a bit. Put her in her place. J49 won't do it
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
3,281
1,636
We are clearly stuck in the Season 5 of a long running sitcom. The good stories have already been done and the show needs an infusion. Normally this is when the new baby is introduced or a whacking cousin moves in.
I hope that cousin is from West Philadelphia, born and raised.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,221
15,362
Stay strong Johnny. I'm rooting for you crazy kids. (I mean you and the wife, not you and capri)
 

Synj

Dystopian Dreamer
<Gold Donor>
8,101
35,756
I can't imagine the shame I would feel explaining this situation to my two boys. This goes so far beyond the "your dad's not perfect" conversation. Hell, I can't imagine how ashamed I would be to find out my dad had done 10% of what I've read here. This shits entertaining but real talk: it's fucking vile.
 

Lenas

Trump's Staff
7,559
2,299
So Capri is going to detox/rehab today at 5 and should be away for 4 to 5 weeks, it is highly unlikely that i will see her again, even though she has been begging to see me one last time today
You've said this so many times, it's getting really old. Find something new to lie about.
 

popsicledeath

Potato del Grande
7,547
11,831
Not sure what's worse, that the saga has gotten boring and this thread actually isn't very entertaining anymore... or that this thread is now where people come to act like their own shit can't ever stink. Yeah, yeah, we get it, most of you aren't cheating on your wife with a smack whore. So, please keep sharing the riveting stories of how you all would never do such horrible, vile things and how superior it makes you. It's really riveting stuff, guys.

Only thing this thread has ever needed was more whore and less commentary from the penis gallery.
 

Synj

Dystopian Dreamer
<Gold Donor>
8,101
35,756
Not sure what's worse, that the saga has gotten boring and this thread actually isn't very entertaining anymore... or that this thread is now where people come to act like their own shit can't ever stink. Yeah, yeah, we get it, most of you aren't cheating on your wife with a smack whore. So, please keep sharing the riveting stories of how you all would never do such horrible, vile things and how superior it makes you. It's really riveting stuff, guys.

Only thing this thread has ever needed was more whore and less commentary from the penis gallery.
LOL fuck off, I'll be a judgy prick all I want, are you suggesting I empathize with this shit? Better yet, people should just keep their opinions to themselves on this fishbowl of a topic. We all just jelly I guess.
 

DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
13,406
15,566
How dare you come to a forum and talk about a topic posted in that forum! You should just treat it like a journal, instead!
 

AngryGerbil

Poet Warrior
<Donor>
17,781
25,897
...or a whacking cousin moves in.
04e122236b7ae21652072cae09ba85b6af71b67690d14e680915de648855d3a3.jpg
 

Chancellor Alkorin

Part-Time Sith
<Granularity Engineer>
6,051
6,036
Dear Diary, today I complained that people were Interwebbing differently than I wanted them to. It hurt my feels. I think they should only post content that I agree with, or I'll complain in their general direction again.

Also, can't wait for the cliffhanger ending of this season of J53's adventures. I'm betting that Capri ends up OD'd in the back of his truck and he needs the wife's help to get rid of the body.
 

LachiusTZ

Rogue Deathwalker Box
<Silver Donator>
14,472
27,162
Also, can't wait for the cliffhanger ending of this season of J53's adventures. I'm betting that Capri ends up OD'd in the back of his truck and he needs the wife's help to get rid of the body.
$50 bucks on this @ 10:1 odds plz


Seriously, how do we not have a fucking pool on how / when this really ends?
 

popsicledeath

Potato del Grande
7,547
11,831
LOL fuck off, I'll be a judgy prick all I want, are you suggesting I empathize with this shit? Better yet, people should just keep their opinions to themselves on this fishbowl of a topic. We all just jelly I guess.
There's a pretty broad range between empathizing with something you consider vile and would be ashamed of being a part of, and coming into the thread on your white horse to enlighten us all on how virtuous you are in comparison. Maybe there's a fine line between the posts that point out "this is fucked up" by people that like to state the obvious and "this is fucked up and I'm a better person" by people that like to state the obvious as a means to make themselves feel better. It's not at all clever or original to castigate some shady fuck for the antics even he admits make him a shady fuck. In fact, it's pretty boring and far less entertaining.

Please save your indignance and hyperbole and acting like anyone is saying the only right response is to empathize or that everyone is, ahem, jelly. Please just consider that your being a judgy prick and posting that you're above this all is perhaps just not as interesting or entertaining as the antics of the very person you're quick to judge to prop yourself up.

Until your self-serving, judgmental castigations are as interesting as the debauchery in question, I'm personally going to see you as the outlier derailing this thread from the entertainment it has provided for a very long time now.

Same way I'd tell Johnny to fuck off if, as a non-gamer, he went into some game thread and started preaching about how he'd never waste his time with such idle matters and would be embarrassed if his kids found out he was in a raid guild.

Godwin's law on these forums seems to be when a group of people have gained enough collective momentum they think the thread is more interesting posting about how they're so far above the topic at hand and high-fiving each other for infallible on the internet. Congrats, fuckers, you're on your way to ruining yet another thread thinking you're more interesting than the fucking train wreck in question.

I'm feeling a little sad, now. Better go find a Mist thread and post how its life is obviously way more depressing than mine. That'll perk me up and really impress the boys!