Lumi's Batshit Insane Thread

khalid

Unelected Mod
14,071
6,775
Shit, one of my students got out of the test because it is Waqf al Arafa day or some shit. I am not even going to bother making up a new test for him, the world is going to end anyway. Goddammit, he wins.
 

imready2go

WTF is a Raider?
<Gold Donor>
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TICK TOCK TICK TOCK, Lumie.

As we edge closer to this end world event, can you specify an exact time yet for us Lumie? Should I bother setting my alarm for the morning or will I already be dead by then?
 

hodj

Vox Populi Jihadi
<Silver Donator>
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The local head shop announced on facebook that they close at 3 pm eastern tomorrow for a family emergency.

So I expect that's a sign from Drake and Nellie Furtado being sent telepathically through the internet that the check out time for humanity is sometime in the mid afternoon.
 

khorum

Murder Apologist
24,338
81,363
I've figured it out. It's all viral marketing:
More proof that british TV is destroying civilization.

Watching the latest season of the Great British Bake Off it amazes me that every resident on your island hasn't yet been converted into their constituent calories for the greater Eurabian Caliphate.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
46,269
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If we all die tomorrow and God is benevolent and merciful, can we all hang out in Heaven, get harp lessons, and sing together?

If we all die tomorrow and God is malevolent and vengeful, can we all hang out in Hell, drink too much, and watch shows put on by J49 and Capri?
 

khorum

Murder Apologist
24,338
81,363
We can trade virgins. 72 each wouldn't last very long but we could stretch that out if we started something like a gently-used virgin "marketplace". The Jannah Virgin Exchange! I'm sure paradise has internet.
 

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
<Silver Donator>
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I think general membership numbers should be adequate.

1.9 billion muslims can't be wrong!
 

Dandain

Trakanon Raider
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I think while converting to all the religions you should do it while driving out into the wilds so you aren't stuck in the city when shit hits the fan tomorrow.
 

Kuro

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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But the continent is going to tear in half in the middle, yellowstone is going to explode in the north, the entire coast west of the rockies is going to fall into the ocean, and the entire ocean in the east/south-east'll jump up onto dry land. The only safe place is like... newfoundland.