Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Yeah guys, don't worry, I'm done with it. I think it was weird/hard for a couple of reasons. Obviously the length of my marriage and the drought of having nothing for years, I latched on like crazy. Secondly, every single girl I was every with was either a one night stand (or one weekend), OR like a year+ relationship. So after a couple of weeks, I was already into the "Well, we are clearly going to be together for a couple years, hooray!" mentality. I know thats dumb, but I couldn't help it. On the bright side, this was a good example for me to go "Yeah, I'm not going to do that again" as far as getting really attached fast goes. Lesson learned.

I'm feeling really good today, I'm still losing weight (down to 194 from 218 Jan 1st), and I have a lot more confidence about my bedroom ability again, something I used to have, but lost (as much as I know I shouldn't be bothered about it, my wife was unable to cum without a vibrator, which I'm fine with, I'm understanding about it, but years of feeling like you just can't please someone gets to you). So yeah, all in all, I had a ton of fun, and have now gotten out of it pretty much scott free. So, I'm just going to run with it.

And yes, I know it was low of me, and self deprecating, to make it clear that I was available for sex still. I felt shitty when I said it, I just felt like I could compartmentalize it enough to just enjoy myself and not be bothered by the shitty aspect of it. I'm kind of a slut? What can I say. I'll try to have a little more self respect.

Lasty, evaluation went well, raise was percent based but came to $1.49, so the job that was already paying me more than I've ever made just went up, so thats great. I actually get another potential raise in Oct, and then a mandatory cost of living raise in Dec thats percent based as well, so hopefully be making a couple more bucks by the end of the year. As far as the financial aspect of my lifes going, never been better. So, there's always that too.

Ohhh, that brings up a good advice question. I'm thinking of letting a friend live with me. I'm really enjoying the living alone thing, but he would be willing to pay me $500 a month to stay here. I've known the guy since I was 11, so we get along and everything, he's another IT Tech. I'm thinking it would be nice to have that extra money vs. the niceness of living alone. My guess is he would mostly live in his room anyway. What do you guys think?

Don't let a friend live with you unless you don't want to be friends anymore. I learned that shitty lesson 2 years ago.

Onoes_sl said:

Ohhh, that brings up a good advice question. I'm thinking of letting a friend live with me. I'm really enjoying the living alone thing, but he would be willing to pay me $500 a month to stay here. I've known the guy since I was 11, so we get along and everything, he's another IT Tech. I'm thinking it would be nice to have that extra money vs. the niceness of living alone. My guess is he would mostly live in his room anyway. What do you guys think?

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Never live with friends. It's a great way to end the friendship.

Never live with a friend...ever. Like ever. Like Taylor Swift Never ever ever ever.

But you being you, make sure to tell us how its going in 2 months when homeboy shits on your bed after drinking all night and steals your car....or something.

Even better he'll have sex with his bro.

Maybe you guys had mediocre friendships? Just about all of my best friends are former roommates - some of which I lived with for three years. Roommates growing to hate each other is female shit.

My house is probably right at 2,000 sq feet, maybe a little over, but right around that. Space wouldn't really be an issue. Honestly, I would just give him the master bed and bathroom since I'm not using it anyway, and he's a pretty solitary dude. I lived with him for a couple years from like 18-20 and we were fine for the most part. Like I said, I've known him for 23 years, I play DnD with him one day a week as well, so I don't know. I was originally thinking about buying a second, much smaller house and moving into that, and trying to rent my house out to strangers, just because my house feels so huge and empty with everything gone. He asked me about it yesterday and I said I would think on it, because part of me thinks a free $6k a year is a no brainer, but another part of me is like "You do like walking around naked... and having a super clean house all the time..."

He's a single guy who works in IT and plays WoW. He doesn't drink or party. The absolute worst I can imagine is me having to go "Dude, please wash the pan you used." or something.

Onoes... living the dream by wanting to date crazy for years before the divorce is even finalized. In all honesty man... right now it sounds like you are on the cusp of living the dream. You've been married for years and now you're about to be available on the open market again. You should know what you want sexually, AND you're probably wiser than the age where you got married (although with this bag o' crazy story I'm starting to question that). So, once this divorce is finalized, as long as it's nothing that puts your kids at a lower priority, live the fucking dream man. Don't even think about anything longterm for at least a year. Get some more women while you can, get your head on straight, and then move forward. But for fucks sake man, DO NOT tolerate anymore drama... isn't a divorce enough?

Why are people making this crazy girl fuck buddy stint into something more than it is? It was a FB hookup that ended before it ever got serious. It's not like Onoes is ignoring everyone's advice (although people keep saying he is).

Best Rerolled poster of 2014: Onoes

Keep on bringing the awesome

Don't move in with your friend. Like others have said it's a great way to destroy a friendship. Moved in with my absolute besty at 22 and I knew him since I was 10 years old-- it almost ended our friendship. You will find things to argue about besides dirty dishes, trust me. In my case he had a girlfriend that practically lived at our place, which I didn't feel was fair considering she paid no rent. Sorry, I didn't sign up for having to deal with your woman's makeup and toiletry shit monopolizing the bathroom.

I'd say go for it with the bromate. Just go month to month and make sure he knows that if you think his living there is fucking your friendship up, you can boot him out. Tactfully, course.

Alex_sl said:

Maybe you guys had mediocre friendships? Just about all of my best friends are former roommates - some of which I lived with for three years. Roommates growing to hate each other is female shit.

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That's because you lived with them before you were friends. It's a strange phenomenon but reverse the order (frienship before roommate) and things can go sour really quickly. Mostly because you aren't as courteous for the sake of being courteous to someone you already know. "Are you fucking serious bro? It's 2 dishes, I'll do em tomorrow". Simple shit like that can escalate quickly.