Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Ouch, bunch of dicks up in here. Man child? I mean, I suppose that's technically correct, as I do feel like a 15 year old in a 35 year old's body, but still, ouch.

Here's some pics.

Here was my friends band I was up on stage with Friday and Sat, was a blast (other than the nut punching thing.)



On Sat we washed his car, 57 Thunderbird (he's rich as shit) and drove that to the show Sat night, was fun.



My friend took me Paddle boarding , my first time, was fun, but hard work for me, as I'm still overweight, but working on it!

Here are a couple pictures of myself taken this week, for a friend across the country. A female friend. Who's married. I've been talking to her quiet a bit. I'm trying to make sure I keep you guys entertained in the future.



Here are the couple I uploaded here before of my now Xwife.



Here is a good example of what she looked like 2 years ago vs current. She's had breast reduction surgery (going from large D's to small B's), she had braces to fix her pretty bad teeth, and she worked long and hard into getting in shape. I'm just saying, I know a bunch of people were like "What is she doing with that guy!?", but yeah, she looks so much better right now than she has ever looked in her entire life. And good for her, but yeah, no one was envious of me before a year and some change ago.

One last old picture of her, I'm the guy just starting to get fat in it!



And here is what I looked like when I met her. This was taken when had been dating maybe two weeks. This is the me I would like to return to. Skinny, fun, punky me. I was really happy with myself, and I had a really easy time turning the attention I got into self confidence and a lot of sexual encounters. I'm not sure exactly how that will translate at early thirties, I'm pretty sure I still look young enough to not be the weird old creepy dude? I guess we will find out together.

Good god you porked out.

Soygen_sl said:

I don't understand how she got the 2nd and 3rd shot in? Ireallydon't understand how Onoes can share these pathetic tales of fail.

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I haven't been threatened or hurt in probably 15 years? This girl is smiling at me and shit, swings her arm down and nails me in the nuts. I tense up, and my elbows come down, but I mostly just froze. I was trying to process, I was thinking maybe she meant to slap my leg, or maybe she was trying to grab my dick and was just drunk and fucked up, because WHY ON EARTH would someone just fucking intentionally punch me in the junk? I saw the second one coming and didn't really have time to do anything, my hands immediately went down after that, and punch three was just her hitting my own hands into my nuts. That's the point where my body was like "CLOSE YOUR FUCKING LEGS AND BLOCK WITH YOUR GOD DAMNED ARMS".

I haven't been in a fight since I was 12 years old. I'm not physical at all, the most "rough housing" I've had in the last 20 years has been with my toddler sons, so I'm never really expecting to need to react to violence. I didn't even think of hitting her for probably 15 or 20 minutes, the thought just never crossed my mind. Mostly I was going "Holy fuck that hurts" and "get the fuck away from this crazy person".

As far as sharing these pathetic tales of fail? I guess we just view them differently. If you look at every story I post on here, I'm typically getting fucked because I'm hoping other people will do the right thing. I don't look at them as me failing, as much as my fellow man failing. What embarrassing shit have I done? I gave someone the benefit of the doubt and got robbed. I went to a club and got assaulted.

I could understand if the story went "I was really fucking drunk, and so I walked up to this girl and just started groping her tits, and she punched me 3 times in the sack." if you described that as a pathetic tale of fail, but a random assault? If my story had been "I was walking into the clube when some guy just walked past and stabbed me. He had a knife and just stuck it in my leg and ran off. I spent the night in the hospital, it was crazy." would that have been an epic tale of fail?

/shrug. As far as I'm concerned things are going exceptionally well for me right now. I don't come on here and post about all my normal shit. For example, Today I woke up, got my kids dressed and off to daycare. I didn't feel like going to work straight away, so I called one of the guys I work with and said "It Meeting at IHOP at 7am!". We bullshitted and had breakfast, hung out for 2 hours. Then drove to work. Talked to my boss about my trip, she cracked up. Went back to my office and watched 3 hours of Curb your Enthusiasm. Had a couple little things to do, ran around for an hour or so and took care of them. Someone at one of the building gave me a cupcake, it was delicious. I then went back to my office and finished out the day playing Puzzle and Dragons for just over an hour. I was on the clock for 10 hours, making just over $30 an hour. I then drove home, picked up my kids from Daycare, went over to my X-wifes new place (she's having to move, as her current rental owner wants to sell, and is giving her $1500 to be out by the end of the month) for a tour. It's really nice, and I'm glad she's doing well. I took my kids to the movies intending to watch Muppet's, but I had the date wrong and its not out until Friday, so we watched Mr Peabody and Sherman instead. I returned home, tucked the kids in, and am now talking here. I'm going to do a load of laundry and watch maybe an hour of tv after this, jerk off, and go to bed.

That's more like a typical day. Pretty fucking easy and boring. I get along really well with a couple hundred people at work, to the point that if they had a vote on favorite employee, I would be surprised if I didn't win. I would definitely win for who's always got a smile and makes you laugh.

I have no idea why I'm even mildly annoyed at the last page of "pathetic loser man child" comments, since this is the internet after all. I guess I'll get back to my mostly great life now

Gavinrad_sl said:

Good god you porked out.

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And yeah, I'm guessing I weighed 150 or 160 back then. On Jan 1st 2014 I weighed 217. As of this morning I'm at 193.7, so I'm down about 25 pounds in 2 and a half months. It's definitely moving in the right direction. At some point I'm going to have to start working out and not just dieting, which is going to be terrible, as I've just never enjoyed any form of exercise. But yeah. Something about knowing (or believing) that you are never going to get a blowjob again in your entire life makes you not really care that much anymore.

Onoes, your stories make me realize I did divorce all wrong.
(Met her when we were teenagers, broke up 3 years ago in our early thirties. Two kids. Amicable.) At that point, I should - of course - have gone crazy in Vegas, met tattoo chicks and gone full punk. Instead, I dove headfirst into work, career and have at this point more or less by chance ended up in a new LTR.

Keep doing crazy. It's entertaining.

Maybe you're aware and ok with it, but just to toss it out there, you realize that if your ex (or any of her friends/family) ever googles any of those pics, she'll find and read all of your posts here...

Ok you don't look like a man-child, at least not what I had envisioned.

Or even worse if someone is able to google those pics and find her facebook or other info.

Noodleface_sl said:

Ok you don't look like a man-child, at least not what I had envisioned.

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Yeah I remember seeing these pics before now, and dude looks perfectly reasonable. I wonder why he keeps getting treated like a shit stain.

We all wish we could go back to the time when we had hair.

It was probably one of those woman hints.

Onoes did the right thing in utterly ignoring it. That road never ends.

I think his wife looked fine before, and even better after.

Also, Onoes, you have really good skin!

BrutulTM_sl said:

Seems like a bad sign when a woman that's been married for a while suddenly starts really working hard on her appearance.

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Honestly, I think it is the female equivalent to a midlife crisis, only we have it after having kids. You reach a certain point where you look in the mirror and just aren't happy with how life has changed your body so you do something about it. I've never had huge fluctuations in my weight, but after my second kid, when I was about 10 lbs heavier than normal I went hard core working out and eating healthy for quite awhile. Was doing it for no reason other than I wanted to feel good when I looked in the mirror.

Tarrant_sl said:

Did you also decide you could do better than your husband and start looking for other dicks to jump on? I think that's what Brutal was alluding to.

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I get plenty of dick at home thx.

edit: But in all seriousness.. Yeah there are sometimes when people go into improvement mode to attract a new mate, but I think a lot of woman do it as well after kids because the effect they have on our bodies is pretty rough on how we view ourselves.