Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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We started the pull out method and just figured if she got pregnant it was whatever. She didn't get pregnant until we tried so I guess it works 100% confirmed luminati status
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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It's just nausea from the baby. Like morning sickness but she doesn't puke and it lasts all day
Cad
scientia potentia est
- 25,791
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It works 100% if you actually pull out...
Just like condoms they don't work if you don't use them. If you fail to pull out, it doesn't work, obviously.
ZyyzYzzy
RIP USA
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Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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I also suggest the addition of chocolate and wine....not to the poll...just to coincide with the others. While I am offering suggestions, why does it have to be an either/or proposition?
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Ruhl
Boner Donor
- 89
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Namon
Blackwing Lair Raider
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The IUD messed with my wife hard.... Her already low libido went to shit when she had one in. I know it makes absolutely no sense, but it did. Without one, I at least get some waves of crazy nympho before the baptist organ player comes back out for a while.
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Nah man I ain't getting my dick kicked off. I have accidentally headshot her but she was more amazed at the distance.
Denaut
Trump's Staff
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Probably not 1:1 but it's a factor. More volume will also give you distance because it's more pressure. When I want to pull out and use it like an artillery piece to shoot over her boobs and attempt to hit her face, I squeeze the tube behind the balls until the 3rd spasm.
- 1
Denaut
Trump's Staff
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Alright... so...
About 2 1/2 months ago my long-time partner (almost 8 years, we have a place together) told me she didn't love me anymore and left. I know what you are thinking, and no she didn't meet someone else, I thought this at first as well but I am certain that isn't what happened. That same morning I was also informed that the company I work for was running out of money and although there were contracts in the works that we were going to have to be laid off in the hopes that one of the contracts would come through and we would be rehired.
The thing to remember is that I am a foreigner, and have been with her nearly my entire time here, I also cannot afford this flat on my own. In what was probably the worst day of my life I lost my job, my partner, my home, my residence permit, and my family (her family since mine lives in another country). I am very fortunate in that I have extremely good friends, and they were what helped me get through that first week where I was in so much emotional turmoil and pain I couldn't get so much as a latte down.
...
Life is odd, and it is shocking what a difference 10 weeks can make as I just finish up what has been an incredible week. After that initial 7 days of shock I started making moves to secure my future... I started walking more and training hard, at this point I've lost 14kg (30lbs) and 2 entire belts. I started taking intensive language courses so that I could secure my permanent residence, and my ex was gracious enough to agree to let me continue on our partner visa until I could make this happen (I am grateful for that). I found a ridiculously good deal on a place to live and between selling this place and the money I can save paying cheap rent at a nice place, I should be able to by my own place in a year or so without a very big mortgage.
And then this week capped it off when I met someone and landed a job that pays much better than my last one. Both sort of just fell into my lap in what I can only assume is me being among the luckiest people to ever grace this planet. Neither were something I was looking for or even expecting really.
I was at a friend's birthday party when another guest whom I know in passing suddenly says to me, "You're single, right? I know someone you should meet. I invited her to a pub quiz, you should come as well to see if you hit it off." And hit it off we did. Either I haven't quite lost all the charm I once had, or maybe it is just that most men here have the personalities of tree stumps, but it was pretty clear by the end of the night she was way into me. I got her number and although she had a pretty busy week coming up I called her on Monday and we arranged for a late dinner at my place Wednesday.
There is a little karmic justice though, as not everything can go perfectly, at training right before our date I busted up my ribs very badly. I thought my goose was cooked and I would have to cancel, but decided to suck it up and just play the best hand I had. Fortunately I had mostly made dinner ahead of time and my crippling pain became a conversation piece and the source of many jokes during our evening.
She ended up spending the night.
It is winter here, so even at the bar we were pretty bundled up. I was infatuated with her because she was cute, fun, smart, and laughed at my jokes (or pretended to at least). What I didn't know was how ridiculously gorgeous she is under all of those sweaters and long johns. I should have guessed, considering she was busy mostly due to dance workshops and an upcoming competition. When her clothes were off I was audibly shocked by just how ridiculously nicely she is put together, to the point where I couldn't help but chuckle, "I can't believe how hot you are." Her only response was to blush.
...
Things... they can change quickly. From the lowest of lows to some pretty high highs. So far I am pretty happy with the way things are turning out, far better than I ever thought they would be at this point. I am optimistic they can get even better, especially after my fucking ribs heal. Never thought I would miss coughing so much.
About 2 1/2 months ago my long-time partner (almost 8 years, we have a place together) told me she didn't love me anymore and left. I know what you are thinking, and no she didn't meet someone else, I thought this at first as well but I am certain that isn't what happened. That same morning I was also informed that the company I work for was running out of money and although there were contracts in the works that we were going to have to be laid off in the hopes that one of the contracts would come through and we would be rehired.
The thing to remember is that I am a foreigner, and have been with her nearly my entire time here, I also cannot afford this flat on my own. In what was probably the worst day of my life I lost my job, my partner, my home, my residence permit, and my family (her family since mine lives in another country). I am very fortunate in that I have extremely good friends, and they were what helped me get through that first week where I was in so much emotional turmoil and pain I couldn't get so much as a latte down.
...
Life is odd, and it is shocking what a difference 10 weeks can make as I just finish up what has been an incredible week. After that initial 7 days of shock I started making moves to secure my future... I started walking more and training hard, at this point I've lost 14kg (30lbs) and 2 entire belts. I started taking intensive language courses so that I could secure my permanent residence, and my ex was gracious enough to agree to let me continue on our partner visa until I could make this happen (I am grateful for that). I found a ridiculously good deal on a place to live and between selling this place and the money I can save paying cheap rent at a nice place, I should be able to by my own place in a year or so without a very big mortgage.
And then this week capped it off when I met someone and landed a job that pays much better than my last one. Both sort of just fell into my lap in what I can only assume is me being among the luckiest people to ever grace this planet. Neither were something I was looking for or even expecting really.
I was at a friend's birthday party when another guest whom I know in passing suddenly says to me, "You're single, right? I know someone you should meet. I invited her to a pub quiz, you should come as well to see if you hit it off." And hit it off we did. Either I haven't quite lost all the charm I once had, or maybe it is just that most men here have the personalities of tree stumps, but it was pretty clear by the end of the night she was way into me. I got her number and although she had a pretty busy week coming up I called her on Monday and we arranged for a late dinner at my place Wednesday.
There is a little karmic justice though, as not everything can go perfectly, at training right before our date I busted up my ribs very badly. I thought my goose was cooked and I would have to cancel, but decided to suck it up and just play the best hand I had. Fortunately I had mostly made dinner ahead of time and my crippling pain became a conversation piece and the source of many jokes during our evening.
She ended up spending the night.
It is winter here, so even at the bar we were pretty bundled up. I was infatuated with her because she was cute, fun, smart, and laughed at my jokes (or pretended to at least). What I didn't know was how ridiculously gorgeous she is under all of those sweaters and long johns. I should have guessed, considering she was busy mostly due to dance workshops and an upcoming competition. When her clothes were off I was audibly shocked by just how ridiculously nicely she is put together, to the point where I couldn't help but chuckle, "I can't believe how hot you are." Her only response was to blush.
...
Things... they can change quickly. From the lowest of lows to some pretty high highs. So far I am pretty happy with the way things are turning out, far better than I ever thought they would be at this point. I am optimistic they can get even better, especially after my fucking ribs heal. Never thought I would miss coughing so much.
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Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Yeah the Aliens 2 method (short controlled bursts) is better for the plumbing than piling up the jizz and launching it like its a 4th of July once a year event. The reason those orgasms are amazing is because you have not had one in a while. Too much spanking is bad, but a little bit to keep the pump primed is actually good for you on many levels (like a wine!).
Mrs. Gravy
This is actually the perfect thread to talk about this kind of stuff, particularly if you want a wide range of opinions and/or the male perspective. People are generally brutally honest in this thread, without it being a personal attack.
Mrs. Gravy
This is actually the perfect thread to talk about this kind of stuff, particularly if you want a wide range of opinions and/or the male perspective. People are generally brutally honest in this thread, without it being a personal attack.- 1
Omi43221
Trakanon Raider
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