Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Prodigal

Prodigal

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Yeah, I know how it sounds. A cautionary tale of the importance of communication early and often. It’s not that I’m wallowing in misery, just acknowledging the fact that it wasn’t what I expected it would be back then, and no doubt isn’t how she expected it would be now. I think perhaps she thought she could make up for lost time later.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Stuff like libido ebbing and flowing is part of life, but resentment being held over that stuff can't be healthy.
 
Namon

Namon

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Noodleface said:
Stuff like libido ebbing and flowing is part of life, but resentment being held over that stuff can't be healthy.
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As someone who is getting to that point, I wouldn't say it's resentment per se. It's more of a "is it really worth jumping through all these hoops to just get a very mediocre 'reward'?" You realize this is some sexualized Pavlov's dog scenario and you just really don't want to play that game anymore. I'm not always bending over backwards just to score a wet hole to simply stick it in now, because I realized I was being a bitch so I stopped. It wasn't to punish her, it was to save my own pride and dignity. And I won't lie, if we get to a point where she is horny as hell and I'm not, it will be hard to NOT remember these days and at least laugh about it for sure. If both of your libidos are more in line with each other, that is awesome, but sometimes people find their selves on opposite ends of the spectrum with a life built together, kids, a house, so you just make do with what you have.
 
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Noodleface

Noodleface

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Well he specifically said he resented it. I've gone through periods where my wife wants to fuck 3x a night and sometimes where it's once every couple weeks
 
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Prodigal

Prodigal

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Noodleface said:
Well he specifically said he resented it. I've gone through periods where my wife wants to fuck 3x a night and sometimes where it's once every couple weeks
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To be clear, I don’t resent her wanting sex - if she asks for/initiates it she gets it, and it’s not like I’m suffering in the process.

I do resent her wanting sex but trying to make it all about doing me a favor or “meeting my needs.”
 
Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

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lurkingdirk said:
A flowing libido and healthy resentment?
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What about a healthy libido and flowing resentment?


I am officially menopausal. ..got to go through that and complex grief simultaneously (Joy!) and I had some of the best and most adventurous sex of my life. I would have sex every day if I could and a variety of it.
My switch is stuck in the "on" position. I am, as you know, 52. So...I think eating well and remaining fit/exercising has helped a lot. It helped with my body and head.
Being here amongst the lot of you has as well...good for my head, good info on exercise good for my body. Thanks again!

So, scrunchy elbows and all, I had a 30 year-old firing/hitting on me last night. Yes, he was sober. He is a sweet, smart and physically attractive man. He likes my ass.
I politely declined and he knows that I am unavailable. He told me that he thinks Steady is a very lucky man.
That is good for my ego....which just makes me want to have more sex.

Notes to you darling men: Don't smoke, eat right and exercise. G and I missed out on many years of sexual intimacy because of his choices. That led to increased depression and anxiety for him. Point...take care of yourselves. ♡
I should probably get back to paperwork now. *sigh*
 
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Khane

Khane

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Noodleface said:
I can understand almost every vice except smoking. I don't get it
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The cigarettes provide a brief high at first and it's a very social activity (though becoming less and less so as more people wise up to how horrific it is for your health). I started smoking because friends of mine would go outside to light up and there were attractive women out there that I wanted to talk to. I was a social smoker for a while and slowly became addicted. I smoked for 4 years and at the height of my addiction was smoking a pack and a half a day.

I still miss my morning cigarette + coffee sometimes, though very rarely these days. It was one of life's simple pleasures.

Cigarettes helped facilitate some fun romps over the years.
 
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chaos

chaos

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I miss smoking every day man. Fuck. I almost took up vaping because I missed it so much but I didn't want to have to fit sucking dick into my day as well.
 
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pharmakos

pharmakos

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when i was 18-22, i actively *tried* to get addicted to cigarettes. they "never took"? or something. i'd end up sometimes going a whole day without lighting up and not feel any urge. ended up just getting tired of smelling like smoke (even a single cigarette leaves a pretty lasting smell).
 
jayrebb

jayrebb

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pharmakos said:
when i was 18-22, i actively *tried* to get addicted to cigarettes. they "never took"? or something. i'd end up sometimes going a whole day without lighting up and not feel any urge. ended up just getting tired of smelling like smoke (even a single cigarette leaves a pretty lasting smell).
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My first smokes I remember being confused. It really rocked me good, like reallly good having taken some big drags, and I said "Smoking stuff and getting high. I thought that was against the rules?". All that DARE and Nancy Reagan talk just dissipated. That one Marlboro red may as well have been lysergic fucking acid!
 
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alavaz

alavaz

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No one gets smoking at first. I don't even fully understand how or why I started because my parents smoked like chimneys and I hated it as a kid. Yet by 16 I smoked a pack a day. Didn't help that my local corner store never asked for ID either. It's been almost ten years since I quit so it almost never crosses my mind now, but for the first five, I thought about smoking again all the time.
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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Hoss said:
roger roger. I don't do any of those things.
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I am finally going to start working out again after a year off. Changed jobs last January, and the new one didn't have a gym facility. We moved into a new building a couple months ago, and I start my new graveyard shift tomorrow night. Gym opens at 5, going to go in and do some walking and lifting. Going to take me a couple months to get back to where I was, but I am looking forward to it.
 
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