Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Tarrant

Tarrant

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Cutlery said:
What battle do you think a domestic charge is? Less than straight vertical?

She's calling the fucking cops, man. The point is less about what to do and more about the fact that he needs to do something quick or it's gonna go to shit in a fucking hurry.

The deck is stacked against men to begin with. It's an uphill battle regardless of what road you take. Might as well take the path that doesn't involve you spending a weekend in jail and being forced from your home and then having a judge decide you're the problem and giving her everything.

At least you've got a fucking chance if you bail.
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And totally screw yourself out of getting your kids.

So I'm speaking from the perspective of I've been in this same situation and I moved out, and even with documenting every single crazy thing she did, (including cut me with knives, put sewing needles in my shoes, put a lit cigarette out in my ear while sleeping and so on) that were the actual reasons for my moving out...had she not actually slit her write while my son was with her, I probably would not have won custody of my son. How do I know this? Because both my lawyer and the judge told me.

If things are so bad that you need to get out, then your main priority should still be the kids and getting THEM out. You moving out is because you are getting THEM and yourself out of the situation at hand. Should he go and leave them there, it changes that picture entirely and not to sound like a jerk about it but go and ask any lawyer and verify what I'm telling you. Do not move out without getting those kids to be able to go with you, else you risk never getting primary custody of them.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

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I think you might need to go back up in the thread and read the part where I told him to move out and get a protective order for the kids.

I'm not gonna argue with you about shit we both agree on.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Cutlery said:
I think you might need to go back up in the thread and read the part where I told him to move out and get a protective order for the kids.

I'm not gonna argue with you about shit we both agree on.
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We DON'T agree on it. As I stated before, you need to reverse the order of what you're doing things. It's not move out and then worry about protecting the kids. It's worry about filing motions to get them out, get it approved and then moving out.

I said this from the very first response to you and you launched into what you did.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

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Tarrant said:
We DON'T agree on it. As I stated before, you need to reverse the order of what you're doing things. It's not move out and then worry about protecting the kids. It's worry about filing motions to get them out, get it approved and then moving out.

I said this from the very first response to you and you launched into what you did.
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Whatever dude, dial down the fucking autism.

Here, here's some fucking reality for you too, since the judge told you you weren't going to get the kids.

If she files a restraining order against you because you get arrested for a domestic, that is evidence of you being an unfit parent due to creating an abusive environment and you won't get custody of the kids either. Go ask your lawyer about that one too, because they'll tell you the same shit.

Do you fucking get it yet? There's no way to win, okay? It's only differing degrees of getting assfucked by the system. I can tell you with 100% certainty I'd much rather move the fuck out and fight that battle than fight the battle I did, because at least this way I wouldn't have had the criminal justice system to beat too. You think family court is bullshit? Try fighting both at once and having no fucking resources to do either.
 
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Tarrant

Tarrant

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Cutlery said:
Whatever dude, dial down the fucking autism.

Here, here's some fucking reality for you too, since the judge told you you weren't going to get the kids.

If she files a restraining order against you because you get arrested for a domestic, that is evidence of you being an unfit parent due to creating an abusive environment and you won't get custody of the kids either. Go ask your lawyer about that one too, because they'll tell you the same shit.

Do you fucking get it yet? There's no way to win, okay? It's only differing degrees of getting assfucked by the system. I can tell you with 100% certainty I'd much rather move the fuck out and fight that battle than fight the battle I did, because at least this way I wouldn't have had the criminal justice system to beat too. You think family court is bullshit? Try fighting both at once and having no fucking resources to do either.
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Imagine being this wrong and then resorting to insults because of it.

There are ways to win. I know because I've done it (hell I paid for the retainer on my lawyer with literally my own blood, selling plasma for months). You can come up with 100 hypotheticals and Khane it up all you want with regards to a situation you've never lived, (<3 u Khane) but the fact remains, you're incorrect and there's not a single lawyer out there that would tell you otherwise.
 
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Wake Up Man
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She’s being very nice the past several days. This can’t be good.
 
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A

a_skeleton_05

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Cutlery said:
I own one. I think it came with some knife set we bought. It's still wrapped.

She didn't follow me down the stairs with that though, just the normal butcher knife.

As far as the moving out thing goes - yeah, that's exactly what they say, don't ever move out. And I'm sure that works fine if you're in a reasonable situation. But what's worse is her calling the cops, getting you arrested, and then having the "oh, he's abusive" thing thrown at you. So, take your pick. In this situation, if she's already calling the cops, it's only a matter of time until they get sick of coming out there and arrest one of you. "First to the phone" is a thing....
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In my situation, mine was acting more insane every day as she knew I was leaving, and she became more desperate with each effort to keep me that was failing. It started with the hitting and the kicking, progressed towards threats of suicide, lies that she was pregnant, calling the cops, running to the kitchen to put a knife to her wrist, and eventually to grabbing the bigger knife to come at me with. In my efforts to make things easier for both her and her children, I failed to just rip off the bandage, and so it festered.

The risk isn't just about having the cops involved and them not believing you (which did factor into my situation) but also just that women can become incredibly unstable when they can't figure their way out of a situation where they're going to lose something significant in their life, and they will push and escalate until something breaks. Either you or her. The only time I can see staying being the right choice is if you feel as though she would pose a risk to the kids, but that's a whole other territory that requires some drastic actions of your own.
 
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Tarrant

Tarrant

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Dom said:
In my situation, mine was acting more insane every day as she knew I was leaving, and she became more desperate with each effort to keep me that was failing. It started with the hitting and the kicking, progressed towards threats of suicide, lies that she was pregnant, calling the cops, running to the kitchen to put a knife to her wrist, and eventually to grabbing the bigger knife to come at me with. In my efforts to make things easier for both her and her children, I failed to just rip off the bandage, and so it festered.

The risk isn't just about having the cops involved and them not believing you (which did factor into my situation) but also just that women can become incredibly unstable when they can't figure their way out of a situation where they're going to lose something significant in their life, and they will push and escalate until something breaks. Either you or her. The only time I can see staying being the right choice is if you feel as though she would pose a risk to the kids, but that's a whole other territory that requires some drastic actions of your own.
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Agreed, if kids aren’t involved just gtfo while she’s at work or whatever (Heck I’ve done this).

My drastic actions was selling plasma, taking money I’d spend on lunch and putting it aside which cut a meal out a day for me, when I told her I was hanging with a friend I was actually doing odd jobs for friends...anything it took to save up a grand as quickly as possible and get a lawyer. I had zero resources, zero family and zero place to go and no support when I choose to peruse the best path possible to get my son. There no can’t.

I’m no better than anyone else, but I feel strongly that if I could do it, anyone can.
 
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Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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Dom said:
women can become incredibly unstable when they can't figure their way out of a situation where they're going to lose something significant in their life, and they will push and escalate until something breaks.
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This. My ex threatened suicide a few times(even went and got her father's pistol and text me a pic of her holding it) when I pulled back a little after some idiotic spat.

Dont ignore those redflags.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Wife has been stressing me the fuck out. I've basically started just doing my own thing most nights because she never is positive about anything.

For instance just this morning I was going to take HER car to get inspected. Because you know... Am man. I woke up at 945, replaced the broken wiper blades, filled the tires, and ultimately it failed inspection because the parking brake wasn't holding. So I readjusted the parking brake and it works again, but inspection stations close early Saturdays so my best chance is going back Monday. Not really a big deal... Since you know... She doesn't work and all. This put her over the edge with a dumb tirade about how I slept so late and if I got up earlier it all would've been taken care of. Like I said... Her car. Well, actually it's mine but that's a story for a different day.

This is a minor thing but it's been pissing me off all day. No matter that I did all of this stuff for her, there has to always be a negative angle to anything. I don't know exactly what point she turned into a miserable cunt but it's very tiring.

So I'll probably just hunt down some hookers and become a serial killer to deal with this
 
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Wake Up Man
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After having put up with some real shit that I can tell none of you ever had (maybe you have but I haven't read it), don't say "man does this" bullshit. It's 2019 and they (women) will let you walk the walk, then walk all over you for doing so. Nah. Marriage is 50/50 right?

giphy (2).gif
 
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Wantonsoup95

Wantonsoup95

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Most of your "real shit" is manufactured bullshit you both created or were issues you ignored from the get go of the relationship then you both encased the problems with children.
 
3301

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Wake Up Man
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Follow up to my own Picard. Wife never really did jack, I was clueless and busy working (she worked too, 40 hours a week approx, 40 hours a week was my minimum). Home was always a mess. Even had her parents came over after a bad storm that knocked out power for miles, and they mention that I cleaned up the place instead of her. Father in-law described me as "gold," more than once. Literally never had a bad thing to say about me. "I married my father." Yeah? Well fuck you, your father was kind of awesome, yet you're a piece of shit, no wonder he died after we got married. Whore.

What I learned? My love doesn't matter. I can love far and wide, doesn't mean shit unless it's reciprocated. A decade ago this would have devastated me. Today? Another thing in my life.
 
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Wake Up Man
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Wantonsoup95 said:
Most of your "real shit" is manufactured bullshit you both created or were issues you ignored from the get go of the relationship then you both encased the problems with children.
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Mostly true. If you can point me to the manual that helps prevent this sort of thing, that would have been useful a decade ago. Thanks.
 
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