Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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3301

Wake Up Man
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No, I have standards.

There will come a point where either her or her lawyer is going to bring up the "let's look at his social media shit" and you might want to be prepared for that, including what you post here.

I'd be surprised if you're called a witness.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,801
9,212
No, want to pay the bill?

Start selling plasma and putting it aside, you'll have it in a few months time.

Also, file for legal assistance

Don't qualify? Cool. Call your local or state bar association and ask if there is a volunteer lawyer program in your area. It is very common for attorney to donate a certain amount of their time to a local agency such as this and provide services for those who cannot afford them. If no such program exists, find out who the chair of the matrimonial or family law committee is on the local or state bar and call him or her up and ask if there are any local attorneys available to help people in your kind of situation. If all else fails, you may be able to find someone who can help you work out a payment plan.

There's literally no reason that you can't get divorced because of money. Saying so it just an excuse, laziness or fear on your part, either way at the end of the day, it's on you that you're miserable right now. Not your finances.
 
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hodj

Vox Populi Jihadi
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Goddamn I'm glad I married my lady. Going on 23 years together, 18 of those married, have never even one time considered a divorce.

This story by this dude sounds like the world's biggest shit show. I feel bad for someone for once.
 
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hodj

Vox Populi Jihadi
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My daughter turns 18 next month. I'm a few days away from 39. 3 more years and my son will be 18. Which means we're closing in on total freedom to do whatever the fuck we want as well.

Counting blessings after reading the past few pages of this thread. For real.
 
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Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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My youngest turns 9 in Sept so I have a while before I'm there. My child support cuts in half in 2 years though so thats always nice. lol

And yeah, it's crazy reading a lot of these and how much I see my second marriage in a lot of them, Noddles most of all, Chaos when he used to post here and mcd's too. Very thankful that I'm in the marriage I am in now and how effortless it all seems to be compared to what it used to be. When you click, things just work without having to try. (though we still do "try" we dont ever wanna take each other for granted)
 
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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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If I ever get divorced I am NEVER EVER getting married again. There is absolutely zero benefit in that and I'm not religious. Fuck that shit.
 
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Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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After my second divorce I said the same thing with the caveat that the inlynexception would be one person who was also my best friend. We lived two states away from one another and it was beyond a long shot to happen.

4 years later, here I am, married to her.
 

hodj

Vox Populi Jihadi
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I really think the biggest mistake in getting married is holding an elaborate wedding, going into debt, buying rings, dresses, tuxedos, catering.

Its all style no substance.

Do it on the cheap, preferably with as few people present as possible. It should be about the two individuals in the marriage, two witnesses, and the commitment. Everything else is fluff.

Marriage is so much about priorities, in my view. Do you prioritize the daily grind, the keeping up with the Joneses' mindset, or do you prioritize the relationship and maintaining it against (most) odds. Obviously there are untenable situations. People with extreme mental health, drug addiction, and violence and cheating issues/seuxality issues, for example.

But like, most marriages that end in divorce did so over money. Obviously if your partner is just blowing through credit card debt, that's an issue as well. Its a case by case basis thing, but just not having much except one another and your commitment and your children, to me, should be something a healthy relationship can overcome. "We don't have much but at least we have each other" mindset.

Not directing this at literally anyone or necessarily anything stated in this thread. Just a general feeling I have on the subject.

End of the day, the reason my relationship has worked is because we met young, learned to rely on each other heavily, give each other an enormous amount of support emotionally and listen to one another and actually care about what the each other's issues and feelings are. Probably wouldn't have worked as well if my wife didn't have the background she had when we met (single mom alcoholic poverty family history). She's content and happy with what she has, and so am I.
 
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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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After my second divorce I said the same thing with the caveat that the inlynexception would be one person who was also my best friend. We lived two states away from one another and it was beyond a long shot to happen.a

4 years later, here I am, married to her.
No caveats for me. Romance is dead
 
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Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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Id agree. My wife and I married at the county fair in the 4H show dog barn. (she works with dogs for a living) It sounds hickish but she loved it, I didn't mind, it was free and a friend from childhood performed the service. We got matching bands that were $200 total, we both love them and are good to go and couldn't be happier.
 
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TomServo

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We were married at the courthouse, took some photos dressed up in some 1920s gangster costumes and had a nice dinner with friends. Still happily married 10 years later.
 
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Khane

Got something right about marriage
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We were married at the courthouse, took some photos dressed up in some 1920s gangster costumes and had a nice dinner with friends. Still happily married 10 years later.

I don't understand why anyone would do this when you could have done the same exact thing, but paid 30 thousand bucks for it. Don't you know that debt makes it more memorable?
 

hodj

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Some people have expensive weddings and don't put it on credit

Absolutely true.

But the majority of people have families help pay for it, or go into debt, or spend too much in savings.

Like I said, case by case basis
 

alavaz

Trakanon Raider
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I had an expensive wedding and honeymoon. My wife and I paid for about 65% of it with our own money that we saved (she used to work and make decent money). Family paid for the rest (no one went into debt). I'm sure some of you won't be convinced that it was worth it no matter what, but we both enjoyed the hell out of all it and I don't regret it whatsoever.
 
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Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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I had an expensive wedding and honeymoon. My wife and I paid for about 65% of it with our own money that we saved (she used to work and make decent money). Family paid for the rest (no one went into debt). I'm sure some of you won't be convinced that it was worth it no matter what, but we both enjoyed the hell out of all it and I don't regret it whatsoever.

I believe you. In no way am I saying that its a set up for failed marriage. My wife and I just rather would spend it on a trip than feeding other people. (which isn't a dig, thats just how we looked at it)