Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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I can also confirm the Hangry phenomenon.

She also gets this way if she falls asleep for a nap and wakes up.
 

opiate82

Bronze Squire
3,078
5
It is well known amongst my friends that my wife must be fed in a timely fashion at regularly scheduled meal times OR ELSE! Pregnancy has only exacerbated that issue. Hard for me because from the time I decide "I'm hungry" to the time that I must be fed is like an 8 hour window.

But it isn't like I'm perfect, I can go from "begrudgingly agreed to go shopping with you" to "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" *LOBSTER RAGE FIST* in like 5 seconds flat.
 

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
<Silver Donator>
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"Well, its good to know I'm trying to build a relationship with you and your apparently looking at other girls and wishing you could fiuck them."

"if (you) want to be with the girl at Chipotle so bad (you) just should, since apparently (you're) already making a list of people (you) want to fuck when (you're) done with (me)"
tumblr_lra36evlpX1qai8ei.jpg
 

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
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I just read that quoted text, and the second line looks like something I said, and I went "What? I never said that." Just pointing out the part you clipped off was her sending me a text that said that, well, the "I" said "you", but you get the jist.

The sad news is that I've yet to run back into my Chipotle Soulmate again /pine. The burrito Gods no doubt had other plans foir us :p
 

Nester

Vyemm Raider
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Same bro, high five! Only exception to the rule is when she gets hungry. Then she gets a bit cranky. But not all-out pick fights cranky. More of a passive-aggressive cranky where it's actually kind of funny from my perspective.
LOL same here but replace hungry with sleepy. Its fucking hilarious. My wife will lie to my face about sleeping for no specific reason. For example she often falls asleep on the couch while watching a movie or if i am gaming. its a running joke. "hey are you sleeping ..what? who? no i was not sleeping. Oh really, what show are we watching?.....XYZ show, No that was 2 hours ago" It happens 3/5 weeknights and 100% on weekends. Its so predictable its funny.


Ohnoes. Great idea, but dont forget to monitize it with live streaming and monthly subscriptions. Rerolled bros get a free pass please.
 

Nester

Vyemm Raider
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It is well known amongst my friends that my wife must be fed in a timely fashion at regularly scheduled meal times OR ELSE! Pregnancy has only exacerbated that issue. Hard for me because from the time I decide "I'm hungry" to the time that I must be fed is like an 8 hour window.

But it isn't like I'm perfect, I can go from "begrudgingly agreed to go shopping with you" to "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" *LOBSTER RAGE FIST* in like 5 seconds flat.
We rented a cabin with a few friends a few years back. I was going to BBQ steaks at 530, we started playing some Catan around 5pm. 540 comes around and the game is still rocking, my wifes best friend losses her shit that i have not started the bbq yet and starts to cook the steaks in the oven. I lose my shit, she loses her shit. Bitches be hungry.
 

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
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Uhg. I have such a hard time not responding with something simple like "Look, I don't hate you, but we are done, I'm sorry, goodbye." I know she's a crazy insane person, but uhg. I can't help feeling like I should say something, which I guess is the whole point.

rrr_img_66618.png


rrr_img_66619.png
 

Leadsalad

Cis-XYite-Nationalist
6,151
12,638
Is she trying to turn you into soup or something?

(she is unable to spell 3 words in a row correctly or use the correct one)
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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14,006
"Sorry, I'm not trying to email stock you..."

That's hilarious because she is literally stocking your inbox full of crazy. This chick is beyond stupid Onoes. How the fuck did you even talk to her?
 

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
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Were pics ever produced of her? I don't really care, I mostly just want to stare into the eyes of insanity.

Also Onoes if you respond to her for any reason I'm going to ban you out of frustration and then immediately remove the ban out of a need for vicarious drama.
 

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
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Were pics ever produced of her? I don't really care, I mostly just want to stare into the eyes of insanity.

Also Onoes if you respond to her for any reason I'm going to ban you out of frustration and then immediately remove the ban out of a need for vicarious drama.
lolol. think there is a tit pic in here somewhere. not the face yet.
 

chaos

Buzzfeed Editor
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Just remember, you seem like a nice bro who cares about her feelings a bit, every time you respond you just make it harder on her. Responding is actually the selfish move here, temporarily assuaging your guilt/whatever just to build her up again before yet another tear down. And you can go ahead and put that video up.
 

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
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I was kind of thinking I would save that for the rerolled poster of the year contest, 2014 edition :p