Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Foler

The_Black_Log Foler

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Makeup is so fucking deceiving. You have girls who cake that shit on but even girls who wear it normally can look completely different without it. Like go from a 8 to a 4.
 
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Tarrant

Tarrant

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Every time I watch those Asian videos where women are doing or removing makeup and chunks of their face/nose it blows my mind.
 
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Koushirou

Koushirou

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I only wear makeup for very special occasions and that’s basically just some lipstick. I don’t know how the rest of all that shit works and just seems like a waste of money anyway.
 
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Deathwing

Deathwing

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Our budget for "personal care", which includes things like haircuts, makeup, shampoo, deodorant, etc is fucking $150/month atm. I don't feel like my wife wears too much makeup but she sure spends too much on it. It's a bit ironic that this topic came up here, we just finished doing the monthly budget and this is the 5th month straight I've given her shit about this. She says she'll work on it with a tone like I'm annoying her and nothing changes.

Tired of making 85% of the post-tax income while spending maybe 5% of it. I know that's not a fair comparison to make, she does more of the child rearing which allows me to focus more on my career. But just some appreciation of the lifestyle she enjoys so I don't have to wonder how the fuck she spends $500/m at target and $300/m on clothing.

And no, this isn't some Noodleface situation where I'm completely hands off. I run the budget and make her explain every fucking Amazon purchase. I'm this close to itemizing aforementioned Target and clothing bills. They are essentially black holes where money disappears every month with no real explanation.

I know who Jeffree Star is because of my wife's makeup habit. I consider this the biggest offense of this whole situation.
 
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iannis

iannis

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I've got a feeling that you're asking for misery if you start asking her for target reciepts.

300 on clothing including the kids? She's a good shopper if it's including the kids.
 
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Deathwing

Deathwing

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That does include 1 5yo. I keep 2 and 4 year spending averages specifically to detect trend changes like this. I mentioned clothing because there's been an uptick in the last 2 years. Kids need clothes right away and we didn't get much in the way of handmedowns because it almost all went through my three sisters' families first.

The clothing I'll admit I'm more of a "What SHOULD this cost? I have no fucking clue." stance. That she doesn't seem to give a shit is the annoying part.
 
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Fifey

Fifey

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Deathwing said:
And no, this isn't some Noodleface situation where I'm completely hands off. I run the budget and make her explain every fucking Amazon purchase. I'm this close to itemizing aforementioned Target and clothing bills. They are essentially black holes where money disappears every month with no real explanation.
Click to expand...


Should see if she'll let you buy a guitar.

Make up wise - I've never cared for girls who wore heavy make up, current girl uses very little/no make up. Pretty much just uses some eyeliner, girls who rely on make up are more of a hassle than they are worth.
 
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Deathwing

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Fifey said:


Should see if she'll let you buy a guitar.

Make up wise - I've never cared for girls who wore heavy make up, current girl uses very little/no make up. Pretty much just uses some eyeliner, girls who rely on make up are more of a hassle than they are worth.
Click to expand...

I don't get your reaction GIF but whatever. Wanting to understand where your money is going is cringey?

I could buy multiple guitars at this point. We have fun money accounts. Someone gets money as a gift for birthday, goes into their account. We "deposit" money from our shared account into each other's accounts as gifts because buying real substantial gifts for an adult that can buy whatever they could want is actually really fucking hard. I still buy her thoughtful shit like purposefully wrong birthday cards(Happy Batmitzvah), special meals, take the kid for a day, etc.

My rambly point is that if I wanted a guitar and had enough fun money, I'd have a guitar. I don't argue her fun money purchases. I sure as fuck argue shit she buys just for herself(antique chairs to crochet) that she tries to pass off as home furnishings. Needless to say, there's a substantial difference in our fun money accounts...
 
Fifey

Fifey

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Deathwing said:
I don't get your reaction GIF but whatever. Wanting to understand where your money is going is cringey?

I could buy multiple guitars at this point. We have fun money accounts. Someone gets money as a gift for birthday, goes into their account. We "deposit" money from our shared account into each other's accounts as gifts because buying real substantial gifts for an adult that can buy whatever they could want is actually really fucking hard. I still buy her thoughtful shit like purposefully wrong birthday cards(Happy Batmitzvah), special meals, take the kid for a day, etc.

My rambly point is that if I wanted a guitar and had enough fun money, I'd have a guitar. I don't argue her fun money purchases. I sure as fuck argue shit she buys just for herself(antique chairs to crochet) that she tries to pass off as home furnishings. Needless to say, there's a substantial difference in our fun money accounts...
Click to expand...
More to do with this quote in correlation.
Deathwing said:
Tired of making 85% of the post-tax income while spending maybe 5% of it.
Click to expand...

I generally just read this thread to remind myself why I'll never get married but sometimes feel the need to post. 500/month isn't a crazy amount to spend at target but it's a substantial amount if she's shopping elsewhere for basic things which I assume she's doing with these itemized Amazon purchases.
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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Fifey said:
More to do with this quote in correlation.


I generally just read this thread to remind myself why I'll never get married but sometimes feel the need to post. 500/month isn't a crazy amount to spend at target but it's a substantial amount if she's shopping elsewhere for basic things which I assume she's doing with these itemized Amazon purchases.
Click to expand...
This is a very small part of the picture. I know I wouldn't spend $500/m at Target if I lived by myself. She knows this too. I am extremely frugal with my fun money, it's sitting at $5600 for various reasons but the prime one being I just don't see anything to spend it on.

I also understand there are lifestyle changes that I have implicitly agreed to by marrying her, buying a house, and starting a family with her. I know some of this, including the makeup to some degree or another, is influenced by that. So, for a long time, I've let purchases slide that otherwise added up to astonishing(for me) amounts of money. The purchases mostly made sense, they're paying for the lifestyle I agreed to.

But, lately, things that she's agreed to have dried up. Basically, I want to spend time with my wife, fornicating or otherwise. Obviously, stuff gets in the way, like fibro(second opinion has referred her to a rheumatologist due to high sed rate), our kid, etc. I'm not going to blame her for not spending time with me due to reasons out of her control but I will blame her not giving a shit. This would be so much more easier if she expressed annoyance at how little time we get together too. Instead, she frequently makes plans with the whole family(family time is not wife time) or goes on trips with her friends.

We were looking at the budget to see if we could afford next weekend away to Cooperstown NY. I mean, we can, easily, but more like if it was fiscally responsible. She was sick this whole weekend on top of hosting friends and family for "Zombie Jesus Day". So absolutely and understandably no alone time with the wife. I was really hoping, without provocation, she would suggest we scrap the travel plans and just stay home that weekend. She even looked at me like I was stupid when I said I would have appreciated such a gesture.

So, yeah, I'm going to get angry about things that people would normally let slide. For the hours I put in at work and money I bring home, I feel like I deserve more. Maybe I don't, this thread and forum has been good at telling me when I'm being dumb.

I would agree about never getting married. This is my first and last go around.
 
iannis

iannis

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Deathwing said:
That does include 1 5yo. I keep 2 and 4 year spending averages specifically to detect trend changes like this. I mentioned clothing because there's been an uptick in the last 2 years. Kids need clothes right away and we didn't get much in the way of handmedowns because it almost all went through my three sisters' families first.

The clothing I'll admit I'm more of a "What SHOULD this cost? I have no fucking clue." stance. That she doesn't seem to give a shit is the annoying part.
Click to expand...
It's their growth, it's going to be a continuing expense, it should dip a year or so before puberty and then rocket off again in adolescence.

Kids outrgrow stuff, there's a social component among both the mothers and the children, kids being kids will rip clothes or manage to bleed all over them or infect them with smallpox. Right now you're seeing the effects of their growth. Age 1-3 a kid will double his bodyweight every.. I forget, but it's often.

I don't have kids so I don't know how much it -should- cost. But I know plenty of women with kids and I do know that it costs more than you would think it does.

The 500 a month at target is I guess her buying knicknacks for the house? Because if that's groceries she's doing a good job. 500 a month for a family of four is something to give her a "good job sport" gold star for. If groceries are seperate... who knows. That's a lot of lampshades.
 
Foler

The_Black_Log Foler

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Deathwing said:
Our budget for "personal care", which includes things like haircuts, makeup, shampoo, deodorant, etc is fucking $150/month atm. I don't feel like my wife wears too much makeup but she sure spends too much on it. It's a bit ironic that this topic came up here, we just finished doing the monthly budget and this is the 5th month straight I've given her shit about this. She says she'll work on it with a tone like I'm annoying her and nothing changes.

Tired of making 85% of the post-tax income while spending maybe 5% of it. I know that's not a fair comparison to make, she does more of the child rearing which allows me to focus more on my career. But just some appreciation of the lifestyle she enjoys so I don't have to wonder how the fuck she spends $500/m at target and $300/m on clothing.

And no, this isn't some Noodleface situation where I'm completely hands off. I run the budget and make her explain every fucking Amazon purchase. I'm this close to itemizing aforementioned Target and clothing bills. They are essentially black holes where money disappears every month with no real explanation.

I know who Jeffree Star is because of my wife's makeup habit. I consider this the biggest offense of this whole situation.
Click to expand...
My friends wife told me she spends about$300-400 a month on products.

I about had a heart attack. No idea how he lets her do that. Ironically I hadn't seen either of them in months. Ran into them at the grocery store and she had no makeup on, I barely recognized her..
 
Foler

The_Black_Log Foler

PalsCo CEO - Stock Pals | Pantheon Pals
<Gold Donor>
47,693
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Deathwing said:
This is a very small part of the picture. I know I wouldn't spend $500/m at Target if I lived by myself. She knows this too. I am extremely frugal with my fun money, it's sitting at $5600 for various reasons but the prime one being I just don't see anything to spend it on.

I also understand there are lifestyle changes that I have implicitly agreed to by marrying her, buying a house, and starting a family with her. I know some of this, including the makeup to some degree or another, is influenced by that. So, for a long time, I've let purchases slide that otherwise added up to astonishing(for me) amounts of money. The purchases mostly made sense, they're paying for the lifestyle I agreed to.

But, lately, things that she's agreed to have dried up. Basically, I want to spend time with my wife, fornicating or otherwise. Obviously, stuff gets in the way, like fibro(second opinion has referred her to a rheumatologist due to high sed rate), our kid, etc. I'm not going to blame her for not spending time with me due to reasons out of her control but I will blame her not giving a shit. This would be so much more easier if she expressed annoyance at how little time we get together too. Instead, she frequently makes plans with the whole family(family time is not wife time) or goes on trips with her friends.

We were looking at the budget to see if we could afford next weekend away to Cooperstown NY. I mean, we can, easily, but more like if it was fiscally responsible. She was sick this whole weekend on top of hosting friends and family for "Zombie Jesus Day". So absolutely and understandably no alone time with the wife. I was really hoping, without provocation, she would suggest we scrap the travel plans and just stay home that weekend. She even looked at me like I was stupid when I said I would have appreciated such a gesture.

So, yeah, I'm going to get angry about things that people would normally let slide. For the hours I put in at work and money I bring home, I feel like I deserve more. Maybe I don't, this thread and forum has been good at telling me when I'm being dumb.

I would agree about never getting married. This is my first and last go around.
Click to expand...
Glad she'll see a rheumo, high sed is inflammation. How much higher than normal was it?
 
Y

yeahthatisneathuh

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Mine does not do makeup. I think she's worn it once in all the time we were together, right at the beginning. I told her she looked like a fucking clown. and she never wore it again. I've seen some pictures of her from before we were together, and it was a shitshow. She has naturally olive skin and perfect eyes and lips, not really a face that needs makeup. Now, years in, I doubt there is even makeup in the house. Maybe like a shade or two of lipstick, somewhere, that she hasn't worn in years.

She had a pop metal/emo phase when she was a teenager and it made her look like a dude with the stupid makeup from some angles. I'm so glad I didn't know her then.

Pretty firm on the no makeup position. I don't want to wake up to someone and go SHIT, you look like that? I just want to be with the way they look regularly, all the time. Thankfully she almost immediately came around to that when we first started dating. I get why someone want it and make a production of it, I just want no part of it.
 
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