Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,360
16,251
My wife looks worse to me in makeup. She's had it professionally done before and I just don't dig it.

Plus side is she doesn't wake up looking like a wrinkled alligator purse
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
48,061
225,286
My wife looks worse to me in makeup. She's had it professionally done before and I just don't dig it.

Plus side is she doesn't wake up looking like a wrinkled alligator purse

My wife doesn't do makeup much, either. She's also hot when she wakes up.

Part of her looks a bit like a wrinkled alligator purse, and I like to stick my dick in there.
 
  • 8Worf
Reactions: 7 users

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,360
16,251
My wife definitely has just the slit. Until I fuck it. Then it's busted ravioli for awhile.

She doesn't smoke or drink so I attribute her young looks to that
 
  • 1Quality Calories
Reactions: 1 user

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,657
I love how guys will,just casually describe their wives junk. Lol.

Mostly it's funny because every woman I've ever met is about as insecure about how her vagina looks as a teenage boy is about his five inches. That tension is just funny to me.

Women will talk mad shi t about a dudes dick.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users

Fogel

Mr. Poopybutthole
13,440
53,469
As long as it doesn't look like a bulldog eating mayo it's all good.
 
  • 4Worf
  • 1Barf
  • 1Quality Calories
Reactions: 5 users

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,519
45,026
My wife wears makeup, albeit quite minimal. No makeup or jewelry is weird. Every single girl I've been with has worn makeup and jewelry. I feel like "don't be a cunt" and "try your best not to be fat" rank far higher on my requirement list.
 
  • 3Like
Reactions: 2 users

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,603
16,034
Mine normally only wears lipstick. On our wedding day she decided to go with a full fresh coat. Done by her. Don't know why, she told everyone she didn't want makeup and changed her mind at the last minute in the bridal room. If she ever finds this forum she will kill me for saying this, but she looked like a clown. She was even wearing super high heals that were like stilts. I remember the minister saying "isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen" as she walked down the aisle. And I was thinking, jesus christ why did she do that? I need another drink right now.
 
  • 5Worf
Reactions: 4 users

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,597
14,323
I don't know very many women who wear no makeup at all. I think most men just assume if she doesn't have purple eyeshadow and dark lipstick she's wearing no makeup at all, which isn't usually the case.
 
  • 5Like
Reactions: 4 users

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,360
16,251
My wife doesn't own makeup for sure. I mean it's not like she's a bombshell, but she's naturally pretty.
 
  • 1Mother of God
Reactions: 1 user

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,519
45,026
You could be a bombshell with that guitar, dammit!
 
  • 3Like
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 3 users