Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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alavaz

alavaz

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My wife looks good with or without makeup. I'd never actually given makeup much thought nor have I ever wound up with a woman who looked terrible without it. It's pretty easy to tell though when a woman is wearing make up to hide something vs. to accentuate. You can see that face cake from a mile away.

Now that I think about it though... my wife does spend a shit ton on makeup. Don't care though cause I got a guitar to buy so I can't start that argument now.
 
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Deathwing

Deathwing

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iannis said:
It's their growth, it's going to be a continuing expense, it should dip a year or so before puberty and then rocket off again in adolescence.

Kids outrgrow stuff, there's a social component among both the mothers and the children, kids being kids will rip clothes or manage to bleed all over them or infect them with smallpox. Right now you're seeing the effects of their growth. Age 1-3 a kid will double his bodyweight every.. I forget, but it's often.

I don't have kids so I don't know how much it -should- cost. But I know plenty of women with kids and I do know that it costs more than you would think it does.

The 500 a month at target is I guess her buying knicknacks for the house? Because if that's groceries she's doing a good job. 500 a month for a family of four is something to give her a "good job sport" gold star for. If groceries are seperate... who knows. That's a lot of lampshades.
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She does buy some food at Target, but as I said that's hard to track because I haven't itemized it. The food I can track is ~800/month.

Foler Foler Not sure offhand, I'll ask when she isn't pissed at me.
 
Khane

Khane

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Women are exceptionally good at passing off shit they want for themselves as "for the kids" or "for the family". Most men buy it too, or at least don't want to deal with the bullshit guilt trip that comes with questioning it.
 
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Noodleface

Noodleface

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I get your concern but I feel like asking for an itemized receipt would be.. I'm not even sure what word I'm looking for. Demeaning?

I mean, I get your frustration, she's blowing your money. But something bigger is at play here I think - it's probably your frustration with her health boiling over. Maybe it's not, it just seems like a lot is centered around that.

I'd also hate to think that it sounds like you guys are less compatible now than you were before. Sexually or otherwise.

I think the interesting point here is people got real upset over my guitar talk here, but everyone has problems. Deathwing is going through some shit too - they've got the budget 'figured out', but there are other problems.

Just to close the lo
 
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Kiki

Kiki

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I had to ban my wife from walmart. She would just spend hundreds of dollars on basically nothing.

EDIT: oh and don't forget home depot.
 
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Big_w_powah

Big_w_powah

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lurkingdirk said:
I don't think I have ever spent $150 in a month on personal grooming. That feels like a lot to me.
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My son is gay. Lets preface this with that. When he was living with me, his personal grooming habit was so expensive I told him to get a fucking job to pay for his own shit at 16, that he was going to get the basics and if he wanted all these spritzing oils, and expensive ass makeup, and 12 different types of hair product that added up to ~250/mo? He was paying for it.


Guess whose flames were doused a little bit when he realized how much money being that flaringly gay cost.

(EDIT: to be fair. It was easily affordable, but I saw the culture shock coming as he approached 18, and wanted him to learn what his lifestyle was going to cost him; that budget is hardly doable when you're just starting out)
 
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Kiki

Kiki

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A haircut for a woman is at least $70. I had the same length of hair at one point and it was less than $30. Fuck that noise.
 
Khane

Khane

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Women also go to the salon for a haircut far less often than men. Usually.
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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Noodleface said:
I get your concern but I feel like asking for an itemized receipt would be.. I'm not even sure what word I'm looking for. Demeaning?

I mean, I get your frustration, she's blowing your money. But something bigger is at play here I think - it's probably your frustration with her health boiling over. Maybe it's not, it just seems like a lot is centered around that.

I'd also hate to think that it sounds like you guys are less compatible now than you were before. Sexually or otherwise.

I think the interesting point here is people got real upset over my guitar talk here, but everyone has problems. Deathwing is going through some shit too - they've got the budget 'figured out', but there are other problems.

Just to close the lo
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I wouldn't ask her to itemize the receipt. She would give me access to her Target account and Intuit would pull all the transactions automatically. It's no different than charges that go directly to our main credit card. Then, every month, we go through the transactions and categorize purchases.

I don't know if it's less compatible. I very much doubt that either of us has really changed. We just have more stresses and competition for free time. Thus, if fucking is my highest priority and it's #5 for her, rarely do those align. Naturally, this leads to questions like "why did you get married?" and "why did you have a kid?"...hindsight is 20/20?
 
Lendarios

Lendarios

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Deathwing said:
Our budget for "personal care", which includes things like haircuts, makeup, shampoo, deodorant, etc is fucking $150/month atm. I don't feel like my wife wears too much makeup but she sure spends too much on it. It's a bit ironic that this topic came up here, we just finished doing the monthly budget and this is the 5th month straight I've given her shit about this. She says she'll work on it with a tone like I'm annoying her and nothing changes.

Tired of making 85% of the post-tax income while spending maybe 5% of it. I know that's not a fair comparison to make, she does more of the child rearing which allows me to focus more on my career. But just some appreciation of the lifestyle she enjoys so I don't have to wonder how the fuck she spends $500/m at target and $300/m on clothing.

And no, this isn't some Noodleface situation where I'm completely hands off. I run the budget and make her explain every fucking Amazon purchase. I'm this close to itemizing aforementioned Target and clothing bills. They are essentially black holes where money disappears every month with no real explanation.

I know who Jeffree Star is because of my wife's makeup habit. I consider this the biggest offense of this whole situation.
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Is it a target credit card?
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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The difference here is I'm not 100% hands off. I'm 100% hands off on paying the bills. I know our budget and money situation.
 
alavaz

alavaz

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I'm 100% hands off on bills too but my wife has been paying them all fine and on time for 10 years now and I'm perfectly happy leaving that job to her. I understand why it's a good idea to be involved in home finances, but should I need to step in, I'm confident I could sort it all out in like an hour. We don't do anything financially complex.
 
Alex

Alex

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I only have one bill that's not automatically deducted. I don't understand this "handles paying the bills" action item.
 
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alavaz

alavaz

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Alex said:
I only have one bill that's not automatically deducted. I don't understand this "handles paying the bills" action item.
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Well that's my point really, there's nothing tough about my finances. At the moment I couldn't tell you when any of my bills will auto deduct because my wife knows all that, but if I needed to, it would take me a very small amount of time to sort it out.
 
A

a_skeleton_03

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I don’t know anything about our finances at all really. Completely hands off in every way.

I buy what I want, when I want, and just notify her. Unless it’s something like a car. I try to ensure purchases over $500 she knows about ahead of time so she can tell me if I should postpone.
 
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