Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Tarrant
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I’d present what I considered to be the facts of the matter at hand and let them decide for themselves.
On a side note (it really sorta struck me you choose this to be your example sir it hits home with me) the sky does look slightly green to me much of the time due to things I have going on with my eyes and the ability to decipher colors. I’ve never known the sky to look otherwise yet people tell me all the time it’s a always blue. However not everyone sees things the way I do, and I don’t see things the way they do, so I accept that and move on since at the end of the day since it truly doesn’t impact me one way or another.
On a side note (it really sorta struck me you choose this to be your example sir it hits home with me) the sky does look slightly green to me much of the time due to things I have going on with my eyes and the ability to decipher colors. I’ve never known the sky to look otherwise yet people tell me all the time it’s a always blue. However not everyone sees things the way I do, and I don’t see things the way they do, so I accept that and move on since at the end of the day since it truly doesn’t impact me one way or another.
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LachiusTZ
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Do you have kids?
How informed are you about the mechanics of indoctrination?
Developmental psychology?
If kids have 1 parent that will contradict the other, you get them farming out results. So you cant discipline them w/o the other parent being on the same page, you cant really get shit done w/o force unless you back each other. The kid will just go to the parent that gives what it wants. In this case, one of the things the kid wont want is confrontation.
Yeah, at 30+ you are able to recognize indoctrination, and work your way across it w/o being converted to a Brando. 6 yr old kids lack the mental facilities to do this.
Again, 6 yr old kids are not the time to "OMG KID YOU JUST IGNORE THAT 8HRS OF INDOCTRINATION REINFORCED BY MUM SNOWFLAKE LULZ FUK YOU LOSER"
Its a stupid fucking way to approach it.
If you want someone willing to really give you detailed reasons, and back those up with articles, and then spend hours researching all the journals blah blah blah, get
Lithose
to write a report for you.You are wrong. Your idea is ill informed. It will yield shit results. And is a bad approach.
Young kids aren't equipped to evaluate complex topics this way. There are too many layers of knowledge and abstraction that they have no practice navigating.
One of a parent's primary jobs is to shield their kids from malignant misinformation until they've developed good critical thinking skills.
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LachiusTZ
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BUT SNOWFLAKES
How will they ever learn if you dont let them smoke meth while reading Marx and then adding / subtracting genitals?
Fucking jesus dude, your a LITERAL NAZI.
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Tarrant
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At 9 years old, my special needs son goes to school with a transgender kid his own age. He’s asked all kinds of questions and has formed quite a serious discussion over it many times. You’d be surprised what kids are and aren’t capable of doing.
At any rate, back to the topic of the marriage. You sound like you don’t respect your wife, both as a person or a parent due to her opinions being something you can’t deal with. If that’s the case, cut the cord and go your own separate ways.
I’m not even sitting here telling you you need to respect her opinions or her, that’s up to you. But if you find yourself not respecting her, that’s a sign that you probably shouldn’t be with her, whatever the reasons for that loss of respect may be.
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chaos
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So yeah, she gave you reasons, and you said "find better reasons, I don't agree with those." imo you're pretty deep in your feels here too with the way you're handling this. Dude, that "fuck your feels" stuff is just a meme, no one actually lives life like that.
At nine they should be thinking somewhat independently, sure. Below that, less so, and it varies wildly on an individual basis. My kids have cousins in the 6-8 range who are actively proselytizing evangelicals. That's pure indoctrination. On some issues my seven year old is quite mature. On others he's a space cadet. Last night my four year old was completely convinced that their grandmother flew on a dragon when she came to visit our house.
If I catch them latching on to some idea that I think won't serve them well in the long run I'm setting them straight ASAP, not accepting their evaluation after the outlay of facts.
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Khane
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How does a 9 year old kid know anything about sexuality or "gender identity" at all? That 9 year old transgender kid is a product of a dysfunctional set of parents who want to indoctrinate their children from step 1 and impose views and ideologies no 9 year on earth has the wherewithal to even comprehend. And the only explanation for that is the parents want everyone else to see their own positions using a child as a proxy.That's kind of the point with that stupid "This is what a feminist looks like" t-shirt. Deathwing's kid is 6 years old, let him be a kid. There will be plenty of time later in life for him to have to worry about and discuss socio-cultural issues when he's old enough to actually understand them.
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Tarrant
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If my kids ask questions I tell them answers. My youngest has known about sex, sexuality and gender stuff for awhile as he’s went to school with the previously mentioned kid for a few years and his questions have progressively got more adult and more complicated.
Both my older kids knew about sex and sexuality and the differences between boys and girls around 6 and 7 as well.
My kids are still kids as well, I always I believe in letting g them stay innocent as long as possible but if they genuinely want to know things I’ll always let them know.
Both my older kids knew about sex and sexuality and the differences between boys and girls around 6 and 7 as well.
My kids are still kids as well, I always I believe in letting g them stay innocent as long as possible but if they genuinely want to know things I’ll always let them know.
LachiusTZ
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There is no 9yr old on this earth that can understand the ramifications of being transgender.
Or has the knowledge to understand gender dysphoria.
Or has the ability to comprehend the consequences of that "treatment".
Or has the understanding of society and how it impacts it.
Or can rationalize they are being subjected to conditions that give rise to rapid onset gender dysphoria.
Or will understand and process their emotional responses to being exposed to that.
etc.
Etc.
ETC.
You are allowing your "special needs" kid to be exposed to the normalization of a mental illness, that is socially contagious. Not to mention you actually think that 9yr old "special needs" kid is able to wield all the information and rationalization required to have an understanding of that issue. Large chunks of medical professionals are not able to handle the virtue blowback from other doctors regarding this shit. I call bullshit.
Grats on being a progressive dad.
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No pre-pubescent human has any idea what sexuality is really about. They may know some labelling words and facts about physiology, but the hormone drive is an unexplainable paradigm shift. It's like saying, "My nine-year old understands what it's like to be old."
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Tarrant
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I don't know why you keep misinterpreting my point. I'm not looking to agree with her reasons, I'm looking for her to present logical ones. You cannot argue an opinion on feels. And if you can only back an opinion with feels, you shouldn't be spreading it.
I let adults keep their feels for the most part. I draw the line at my kid because that's my job as a parent.
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LachiusTZ
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A good metaphor for what he is doing is a MMO on rails vs open world.
A 9yr old kid, is on rails.
SOME adults can handle open world.
Beyond that.
Societal impacts.
Long term impacts (career women that are not goign to have kids and end up over compensating w/ virtue for oppression, or cats [as a single example])
Impact on value it has w/ regards to men and women. Understanding that. Being able to handle life isnt fair w/ regards to those impacts.
Instinct vs sexual drive vs conscious thought.
Not to mention the evolved roles vs modern society vs expectations and fulfillment in the relationship due to those requirements and expectations.
This is shit that brilliant humans spend decades trying to understand.
But yeah, some random guys special needs 9yr old kid has a grasp on some of the most complicated shit in the social sciences (that a majority of professionals in that career are unable to grasp due to bias).
Sure. Why not. Its 2019.
chaos
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Of course opinions can be argued on feelings, otherwise they'd be facts and there'd be no debate.
I don't feel like I'm misinterpreting your point. You think her reasons aren't valid because you don't feel like their logical, so you're rejecting them. The world doesn't work that way in reality, hell I'd argue feelings have a lot to do with why this has taken on such outsize importance in your life that you're willing to blow your family up over it. No one is actually as logical as the standard you have set here. I don't say this, or any of this, to attack you, everyone is entitled to feel how they feel. I just don't understand. Even from the ultra-logical standpoint you're trying to come from, the outcome of all this is a worse life for your kid right? And for you? And for your wife? Introducing chaos and uncertainty into the future because she isn't reasoning logically enough? If the expectation is that you'll find that in a relationship, idk man, good luck.
Your job as a parent isn't to protect your kid from feelings, it's to give them the skills needed to navigate society. How in the world would you even begin to protect your kid from illogical opinions?
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Tarrant
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I get what you’re saying and I’m no where near claiming my son has firm grasps on things that that age. If he has questions though I’ll answer em as best I can.
I’m laying in an ER at the moment and when not hi as shit on morphine I’ll try to explain better. I agree with you all for the most part I just can’t articulate properly at the moment.
I’m laying in an ER at the moment and when not hi as shit on morphine I’ll try to explain better. I agree with you all for the most part I just can’t articulate properly at the moment.
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I think you need to read up on "objective opinions". When it comes to complex issues, of which preferred pronouns is only one facet, I think it's important to set the requirement for debate at objective and remove all feelings from the topic.