Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Eomer
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The close friends of mine that have gotten married had destination weddings in Costa Rica or Jamaica, and requested no gifts. Which makes sense, it would be fucking asinine to expect gifts after your friends are spending $2,500 to get to your wedding.
The other weddings I've been to I've just made a habit of getting on to their gift registry and buying them a set of steak knives and beer mugs (which add up to around $100-150 generally as everyone always picks high end shit), with the card saying "I look forward to being invited over for steak and beers!" or something to that effect. Number of steaks and beers consumed: zero. The only exception was one couple who had a Dutch Oven on their registry, which I could not resist buying. They had a laugh about it too.
But yeah, it's pretty rare to see gifts at an actual wedding these days. And I wasn't even aware until recently that you're supposed to bring a card, too. So many rules!
The other weddings I've been to I've just made a habit of getting on to their gift registry and buying them a set of steak knives and beer mugs (which add up to around $100-150 generally as everyone always picks high end shit), with the card saying "I look forward to being invited over for steak and beers!" or something to that effect. Number of steaks and beers consumed: zero. The only exception was one couple who had a Dutch Oven on their registry, which I could not resist buying. They had a laugh about it too.
But yeah, it's pretty rare to see gifts at an actual wedding these days. And I wasn't even aware until recently that you're supposed to bring a card, too. So many rules!
Noodleface
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We got married in Vegas at one of the hotels. Super easy, all choices are buffet style, good photographers on hand, and everything ran efficiently, and no surprise gotchas. Best of all, it was my wife's choice to get married there. We had the wedding streamed online, some close friends and family came, and all had a blast while there.
OneofOne
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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See this is the sort of thinking I just don't understand. Invite people to your wedding you WANT to be there, don't do it in hopes of getting shit. We asked for no gifts, and I'd say about 25% of our guests did just that - not even money. And I'm totally ok with that. A wedding isn't an event in which you separate your cheap relatives/friends from your giving ones. YOU chose to have a wedding in which it cost you $40/plate, don't blame others because they "cost" you money. I think it's awesome we made out like bandits cash-wise at our wedding, but we never thought it would happen, and we certainly didn't EXPECT it.
Noodleface
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That's well and good, and we only invited people we wanted. I even barred some of my own family, some major drug users who I really wish were dead - I hate them and I got shit for not inviting them. The problem is you invite these cool people who have disgusting morbidly obese wives/husbands that you don't want there. I didn't feel comfortable sending an invite to someone and not allowing them to bring a guest - especially if it's someone who is married. You can't help that shit.
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Its customary to give gifts. Its not like I asked for it or depended on it but it was nice to get some of the cash back, ended up being like an 1/8th of it. Same as its customary to give gifts when invited to a baby shower, or a graduation party, or a kids birthday, shit, even bring something when you are invited to a dinner party, some wine or a dessert. Ive been to many weddings in my time and I would find it very rude If I just showed up without something.
Back in the "old world" or traditionally, wedding parties and gifts were given to the groom and bride to give them a good start in their new life as well as celebrating the occasion.
Back in the "old world" or traditionally, wedding parties and gifts were given to the groom and bride to give them a good start in their new life as well as celebrating the occasion.
Noodleface
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Getting married in 12 days. I remember when we got engaged 3 years ago going "We have so much time to plan this", and now we are in serious crunch mode. I think we somehow managed to pay everything off without charging much to the credit cards - we only charged our hotels and excursions but we already paid those off months ago. I think all told we're dropping about $16K and it is a fairly small wedding. Photographer was most important to her, so he was pretty fucking expensive ($5K) - food was most important to me so it was expensive ($5K for 86 people). Cake is going to be the best wedding cake, my "tier" is chocolate cake with peanut butter cream filling.
Immediately after we leave for 2 weeks. We both work 2 jobs and for the passed several years we've both worked 7 days a week with the only days being off as holidays, personal days, or whatever we could get. It's been rough. I will feel a huge weight off my shoulder when this is over.
Insert divorce comments below this post.
Immediately after we leave for 2 weeks. We both work 2 jobs and for the passed several years we've both worked 7 days a week with the only days being off as holidays, personal days, or whatever we could get. It's been rough. I will feel a huge weight off my shoulder when this is over.
Insert divorce comments below this post.
Noodleface
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Just the way it worked out, tough to get a wedding going working 2 jobs and going to school full-time.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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That doesn't sound too ridiculous to me for a wedding. Everything's double for that shit.
Noodleface
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It's technically $58 for a signature drink, "unlimited" apps, "unlimited" pasta bar, carving stations (multiple), salad and a soup, desert table, and $2 a person for them to cut and serve our cake (BULLSHIT)
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Don't get me wrong, I think weddings are stupid (or at least the ridiculous amount of money spent on them is), and so is the mark-up charged for anything to do with a wedding. But if you were having a private function and wanted to serve a good meal, $30/plate doesn't sound too outlandish cost wise. I think that's about what we paid for our company's golf tournament meal (BBQ steak etc). Now double it because it's a wedding.
Noodleface
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For our rehearsal dinner, if we wanted to book the same place with 13 people in total it was $1000 for just the food. We are going to a bar for the dinner............................................ .. >_>