Marriage and the Power of Divorce

I've never met a single person in my life that wishes they would have spent *more* on their wedding, after the fact. Most people wish they would have spent less, and used the extra money on something much more practical like a home, or paying off debt. Fast-forward a couple years into your marriage and nobody gives a crap about your wedding, and no one will be talking about it at all. We only spent about 5-6 grand on the wedding and reception, and I wish it wasn't even that much. We're only just had our 1-year anniversary, and I can't tell you the last time I looked at any photos of it, or anyone even mentioned it to me.

Spending a lot on a wedding is WAY more of a deal-breaker for me than spending a lot on an engagement ring. At least she can wear the ring everyday for the rest of her life. I spent more on my wife's ring that we spent on our wedding.

Kirun_sl said:

So, you let her wear the pants? You're in for a world of hurt, my friend. I look forward to your posts in the GWBYHT thread.

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Not really, it was a discussion and things just started adding up. We had the money, I just now wish we had said forget it and eloped or something. I can't help but think some faggot women at our wedding are going to go "ooh, they went with X.. it looks so tacky, should've gone with Y". And also I am bitter than I have to feed a bunch of morbidly obese people that are probably only coming for the food.

Noodleface_sl said:

I can't help but think some faggot women at our wedding are going to go "ooh, they went with X.. it looks so tacky, should've gone with Y". And also I am bitter than I have to feed a bunch of morbidly obese people that are probably only coming for the food.

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Why on earth would you invite anyone who thinks like that to your wedding? Don't bother with people that are not just close family/friends. The others just cost you money and probably don't want to be there anyways.

Noodleface_sl said:

I'm trying to watch TV and all I can hear is her yammering

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Get used to that, it will be the rest of your ill advised life if you go through with this colossal mistake.

Won't stop after the wedding either. If its not that its the house. Or constant refurnishing and rennovations. Or the brat's college. Or her vehicle. Or your honey-do list and Home Depot. Or having another baby. Or getting you a a promotion/new position you don't even care about. This is your new life until you get a divorce or one of you fucking dies.

You are handing your entire life over and getting literally nothing in return. If you haven't irrevocably signed your name to anything or paid any money out yet I urge you again to bail immediately. You're going to wish you'd listened to your pal Famm one day, Noodles. Hell even if you have already paid something, like that stupid ring you bought, cut your losses and bail. You've already admitted that she is capable of being batshit bugnutty crazy, it will happen again and with greater frequency the longer you are enslaved to her in this marriage.

Unlike some of these other guys you are showing that you can't/won't take a firm grip on any part of this process and have handed it over to her. You are already her bitch before the wedding's even happened. Take some good advice and get out, wait until you're older and have seen some shit and then rethink tying the knot and why you should or shouldn't. WALK AWAY NOODLES, ITS NOT TOO LATE YET!

women are talking?http://bit.ly/12k0WS8

I wonder how many people that shrug off the huge amount of money they blow on a worthless wedding we'll later see in the home buying thread asking how in the world people can possibly save up for a 20% down payment.

Fuck, we had a potluck reception - people brought their own damn food. We also asked for no gifts. You know what that turned into? Envelopes with cash and checks, instead of a 3rd toaster or 2nd rice cooker. You doing it wrong Wakandan.

OneofOne_sl said:

We also asked for no gifts. You know what that turned into? Envelopes with cash and checks, instead of a 3rd toaster or 2nd rice cooker. You doing it wrong Wakandan.

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We also did that, not asking for gifts. Some people still brought them, some people gave a bit of money and some people didn't do anything. We ended up with a few grand at the end with a pretty small wedding (30ish people iirc) as well as some pretty cute more personal gifts.

The whole register for shit and people buy stuff off that list has always seemed a little odd to me. I know it is nice to receive things that go to help your new home but it is a bit old fashioned given that most couple don't move into their own home the day after their wedding these days. I like the idea of something more person that shows thought for the couple, but I also only invited people very close to me to my wedding. Buying random sheet set they put on a list at bed bath and beyond is no fun.

All I can say is no matter how much you love her, no matter how great you think she is, IF you make more money than her and/or are bringing a lot more assets into the marriage THEN GET A PRE-NUP. DO NOT take no for an answer. I have seen both family members and friends get married thinking their bride to be was the greatest, gentlest, harmless sweetie-pie on the planet, yet five years later they are in the midst of a nasty divorce and not only is the guy taken to the proverbial cleaners, but the kids are used by the wife as leverage throughout the whole process. Whatever "justification" the woman uses to validate the divorce, it WILL be your fault, and she WILL be pissed and out for blood. Women do not "tap out", will always go for the jugular, and shall reciprocate any perceived transgression one hundred fold. The law is on her side and the courts just view you as a potential ATM for her and the kids. Be careful my friends..

People actually give gifts at weddings? I mean, I've been to like 7 this year and I've only seen one physical gift, the rest is all envelopes. The "in" thing to do now is get some crazy cool and unique envelope box (my friend has a Tardis as his box). I thought it was preferred nowadays.

The wedding costs a good chunk, but I'm not too worried. We both have good jobs so we'll have the down payment soon enough.

In all honesty I make it sound worse than it is, I like to vent while also feeding the responses I get back.

Got you good

Noodleface_sl said:

People actually give gifts at weddings? I mean, I've been to like 7 this year and I've only seen one physical gift, the rest is all envelopes. The "in" thing to do now is get some crazy cool and unique envelope box (my friend has a Tardis as his box). I thought it was preferred nowadays.

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You've never seen or heard of a gift registry?

I will say we definitely appreciated people buying us stuff off ours. We got married in our very early 20's and we really needed most of that shit. Almost a decade later and we still have most of the things from our registry -- and use them.

Elurin_sl said:

You've never seen or heard of a gift registry?

I will say we definitely appreciated people buying us stuff off ours. We got married in our very early 20's and we really needed most of that shit. Almost a decade later and we still have most of the things from our registry -- and use them.

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Of course, I've used a registry before. But it seems now most people just give money. All the weddings have been for people in their 20's as well.

mkopec_sl said:

You will soon find out how cheap some of your friends or family really are.

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lol this. An uncle of mine came from out of town for our wedding, wife, 3 kids, the whole family. They live in a half a million dollar house(which is huge here in the midwest) and gave us $35 cash in an envelope. I don't even know how you come up with that random amount. I could see 2 $20 bills, or even a single twenty, or fifty or something, but you have to go out of your way to come up with $35 bucks. His family of 5 cost us about $200 in food and who knows what in drinks at our reception. We even had kids meals available that were cheaper, and he still RSVP'd for 5 adult meals, even though 2 of his kids are well under 10 years old. I'm sure they just loved the salmon and asparagus, rather than chicken strips and french fries.

cheapass bastards

Noodleface_sl said:

People actually give gifts at weddings? I mean, I've been to like 7 this year and I've only seen one physical gift, the rest is all envelopes. The "in" thing to do now is get some crazy cool and unique envelope box (my friend has a Tardis as his box). I thought it was preferred nowadays.

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I don't know, I think it is still pretty customary to give a gift. I think a big reason you don't see as many at the weddings is most people these days op to have the gift sent directly to the bride/groom so most guests aren't showing up to the wedding toting a gift with them. I got married coming up on four years ago and I would guess that 80% of our gifts were shipped directly to us.

I still personally do gifts for weddings, but I have an amazing local woodshop that I go to where I can usually find some sort of amazing hand-made cutting board. My gift always stands out amongst all the generic crap appliances people get off their registries. My really close friends usually also end up with some cash from me as well.