Marriage and the Power of Divorce

BrutulTM said:

That probably shouldn't be your goal or expectation. It's the end of a fairy tale but not how anyone actually lives. I am like you in that I can be pretty happy alone and I have done it for a lot of my adult life, but it's a pretty empty life. Having someone to take care of, and who will take care of you, at least for me, is very meaningful.

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Yea that part was kinda sarcastic. If there's a way to make things better I am all for it to try but I doubt it will come to that.

I did catch this before anything was decided and confronted her with it. She is still working on it internally due to that confrontation. Had I not done that she probably would have just been gone one day when I got home from work.

No clue if that would have been better or not.

Yea I've done the living alone deal and it is what it is. I got few friends from my child hood that still has not found a partner and I could probably hang with them and it would be 2014 all over again. And while it will be chill for a bit I don't think I want it for the rest of my life.

Aazrael said:

Next time, if there is one. I won't turn a blind eye on warning signs just to find someone to be with, but I was really happy when I met her and we have had a good numbers of years together doing fun and exciting stuff. it started getting slightly worse when she stopped working and the last 6 months has been slowly declining.

One thing I knew from the start was that she needed something new and exciting to happen regularly, like getting a Cat, then after a while that was not enough and she started looking at the next thing to buy/adopt. Then she gets "overwhelmed" with taking too much time to care for them and she puts them up for adoption. We've had many animals in the house and everything besides the cats and dogs are gone now. With her economy in ruin she can't get stuff now and I can't pay for her luxuary items as I got a household to keep running. And it's like now that she can't get the next thing for her rush it's over and she needs to flee.

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As someone who has dated a woman like that in the past, it's 100% the right thing to "leave". She CONSTANTLY needed some new form of stimulation, constantly needed to be on the "roller coaster ride", if you will. As somebody who is very content with 4 walls, a chair, a bed, and not much else, it gets exhausting. I did the same thing for a while, buying into the sunken cost fallacy and cliches - "Nobody is perfect", "relationships are hard", etc.

It took me about 3 weeks after I left to realize, "Jesus Christ, why didn't I do this sooner! I feel like I can breath again!".

Aazrael said:

And I don't want to paint her as some insane person using me for my money. She has paid her part of the living cost for at least 6 years, it's the last few months that has gone bad.

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This is just the beginning of the spiral dude, trust me. It sounds like the girl has some mental health issues, but those are HER issues to sort out. You don't MAKE somebody happy, nor they you. You make YOURSELF happy and others should compliment that - you shouldn't be reliant on it.

Srathor said:

She is the old MMO that you have leveled on. No new experience, no new kinky levels. No new moves.

Cancel your subscription. Go find a new MMO to play with and level there.
The graphics will be better.
The systems will be fresh and new with fresh problems and solutions.
Don't worry about the new pvp flagging system, that will get patched out as you level.

Have Fun! The first few weeks are the best.

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This is honestly a fucking PERFECT description of the situation and what the course of action should be. To tie it to MMOs on this forum...fuckin' well done.

Aazrael said:

To simp a bit, the little I caught she was not blaming me for anything, she felt bad for me for having to support her and such. But also mentioned she felt stuck now due to that, and yea she can't buy anything now as her money will mostly cover food and phone bills.

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That's a trap. At this point, her lifestyle and in some aspects YOU, have become her "addiction" and what she relies on. People who genuinely feel bad seek the help required to change and get better.

"Gosh! I feel so bad that I'm hurting you financially and mentally...I'm just going to keep doing it though. Because I feel so bad about it, remember!"

Foler said:

Look at me.

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Aazrael

I feel for you. Having just come out of a 12yr marriage (18yr relationship) which included kids as well as pets, due to a combination of illness (hers) and depression (mine - brought on by aforementioned illness), I can say that once she has made the decision to finish things there isn't really anything to do but rip off the bandaid ASAP so you can get on with life.

On the upside, you'll get a tidier/calmer place to live, and more gaming time!

I mean have you ever gotten 6 blowjobs in a row without stopping from a crazy redhead? It might have been worth it.

Kiki said:

I mean have you ever gotten 6 blowjobs in a row without stopping from a crazy redhead? It might have been worth it.

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She could have been a crazy asian that loves anal sex and chain orgasms from it. It might have been worth it.