I don't post here very often but kind of at a loss for my situation and looking for genuine advice.
I've been with this woman since May 2020, she's in her mid 30s. We dated for a small bit, moved in together December 2020, then I moved out/broke up with her in Sept 2021. Talked off and on afterwards, I felt super bad that she was so sad about us breaking up, and kept in contact with her. We started seeing each other again early 2022 and have been spending every weekend with her since.
She's a super nice person, thoughtful, caring, close to her family, successful. When we're together we just watch TV, play video games, hike, or travel. But the one thing that bugs me, and has always bugged me, is that I feel like I can't talk to her. She's not very forward with her feelings or expressive, I always have to pry it out of her and we never really have anything to talk about but just small talk. She holds a lot of her emotions in and she starts to cry when I want to have more serious conversations about us. I told her since the beginning I was interested in having a family and settling down but she never really talks about that, she says she wants to travel before having a family. In the two years I've known her, she's never really expressed any real desire to have a family but said she does want one eventually (at her age I just find that weird).
From what I know about myself is that I find a deeper connection with people that I can converse with, about anything. Whether it's politics, science, mysteries of the universe, or whatever. When we moved in together, I really felt the void in that type of activity and it created resentment on my side that built up until I moved out.
I guess it just feels weird to me to have someone that is ideal, but that you can't really connect and have meaningful conversations with. The company is nice and pleasant, but that's it. I honestly feel selfish for wanting more and keep circling back to there being something wrong with me. I've talked to her about this issue multiple times but she never really has anything to say. I'm at a loss for what to do because I don't want to waste anymore of her time or my time by being together if this something that will certainly be a roadblock in the future, but I also don't want to make a mistake and leave her again if it's ultimately a problem with me that I haven't figured out yet.
Any suggestions?