Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
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Noodleface_sl said:
So I am a bit stumped here. Her grandparents wanted to give us our gift before the wedding (a check/card) and he's really anal about balancing his checkbook so told us to make sure we deposited it immediately, didn't want to leave it at the place, etc. I wasn't really expecting to open it up and receive a $5000 check. They have a lot of money (lawyer/chemical engineer and they invest). I don't really know how to properly thank someone for that. We just kind of sat there for about 30 minutes speechless not really sure what just happened. I realize to some people $5000 isn't a lot, but when you just paid off your wedding and are broke it is pretty crazy.

What do you guys think? Obviously we aren't going to send them the typical thank you card the other guests will receive, we'll get them a special card probably hand delivered. I figured we could take them out to lunch or dinner, maybe spend some time with them.. but even that feels like not enough. Any ideas?

From what the rest of her family tells me, he took a real liking to me for whatever reason. When I first met him we talked for about 4 hours and he told me his literal life story while I just listened to him the entire time. They told me he had never done that before to anyone, and that he told me things that no one else even knew. Still in shock here I guess.
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Taking them out to dinner and thanking them personally sounds good, and explain to them how much it means since your financial situation is dire. I'm sure they will be overwhelmed at people actually showing gratitude these days, and it'll be special.

Any more than that looks like you're just tonguing balls to try to get more now that you realize they give $$.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Cad_sl said:
Taking them out to dinner and thanking them personally sounds good, and explain to them how much it means since your financial situation is dire. I'm sure they will be overwhelmed at people actually showing gratitude these days, and it'll be special.

Any more than that looks like you're just tonguing balls to try to get more now that you realize they give $$.
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Bad picture of old man balls. Good thing we're not shitheads, there's some other people that got recently married that probably would try to squeeze out more money from them.
 
O

Ortega

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taebin_sl said:
Sometimes the act of getting married can change people. Not just women, men too. Begin to take things for granted, become more manipulative, become lax in other areas. Just because it hasn't happened to your marriage doesn't mean it doesn't happen
smile.png


disclaimer - hasn't happened in mine, but sure as fuck happened in my parents
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Definitely true. My cousin got married after five years of dating, and the chick said she was unhappy six months after that...
 
Gravel

Gravel

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You should buy them a gift that costs about $5000.

I'm not sure what the fuck you want us to say. What's wrong with taking them out to dinner being enough?
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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I would just send them a very nice thank you like you have planned and skip doing anything else for them. I would take them out to dinner a month or two down the road, after the honeymoon. It's a lot more sincere to do it after some time has passed rather than just "return the favor before we forget and ONLY because they did this for us". It makes it seem like you actually want to spend time with them rather than just trying to give them a quick thank you. They gave you $5000, taking them out to dinner doesn't mean jack nor shit unless you show them you wanted to spend time with them, not just pay for a steak and bowl of clam chowder, even if you really don't want to spend time with them.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Elurin_sl said:
You should buy them a gift that costs about $5000.

I'm not sure what the fuck you want us to say. What's wrong with taking them out to dinner being enough?
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Thanks for missing the point while also rustling your jimmies. I was just looking for suggestions, $5000 is a big and uncommon gift.
 
Famm

Famm

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You're getting married, you have no idea how fucked you really are. What you name your kid is the least of your problems.

Best advice is to return the five grand and move into a studio apartment by yourself. You'll wish you had listened to me in the long run.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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I'm thinking they don't want you to do anything special. If I gave someone $5,000 I would want them to use it on themselves, not taking part of it to get me something.

Dinner is the most I would do.
 
chaos

chaos

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Noodleface_sl said:
Thanks for missing the point while also rustling your jimmies. I was just looking for suggestions, $5000 is a big and uncommon gift.
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If it was me and they are local or nearby, I would do something more personal. Cook them a bangin meal or something. They don't need you to take them to a fancy meal, obviously. But I would want to do something like that to make sure they know it is appreciated.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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They live nowhere close, so I think lunch/dinner(earlybird?) would be good - don't think we'd be able to cook for them. Sounds good though.
 
Koushirou

Koushirou

Log Wizard
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If not dinner maybe a really nice thank you card and a bottle of decent wine if they're into that? Or is that a bit over the top?
 
Famm

Famm

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I say you pocket the five grand and never talk to this woman again. Hopefully for your sake all the bills, especially this wedding, are in her name.
 
OneofOne

OneofOne

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Khane_sl said:
I would just send them a very nice thank you like you have planned and skip doing anything else for them. I would take them out to dinner a month or two down the road, after the honeymoon. It's a lot more sincere to do it after some time has passed rather than just "return the favor before we forget and ONLY because they did this for us". It makes it seem like you actually want to spend time with them rather than just trying to give them a quick thank you. They gave you $5000, taking them out to dinner doesn't mean jack nor shit unless you show them you wanted to spend time with them, not just pay for a steak and bowl of clam chowder, even if you really don't want to spend time with them.
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Best advice.
 
Itlan

Itlan

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Why not just suck his dick? Like... that's what I thought of immediately. Dumbasses.
 
Joeboo

Joeboo

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Definitely do something that requires thought and effort, not just spending money. If someone gives you a lot of cash/money, one of the more disrespectful things you can do is turn around and buy them a gift. You're wasting money when they obviously felt you had a need for what they gave you, it kind of trivializes their gift to you.

Spend time with them, make them dinner, do a service for them(mow their yard all summer if they live close, etc). Do something that makes their life as older adults easier.
 
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