Khane
Got something right about marriage
- 20,339
- 14,002
Do men who use these tactics ever actually give a shit about a relationship? Everyone knows these things. Men who don't care use it to get laid, men who do care don't.
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
-
Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
- 26,228
- 39,934
Well it goes a bit deeper than this. The whole notion of the red pill as I understand it is that guys are fed a whole bunch of bullshit when growing up. Be the nice guy, make the money, set yourself up and then patiently wait for a mate. Thats what women really want. But this is furthermost from the truth. And this is true for the most part. Sure there are always outliers, but this is truth.
I wish I had the inter webs when I was younger because this shit would of woken me up to the realities of what is the truth. Not to say I doidnt have fun, but I would of had way more fun if this truth was exposed.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
- 20,339
- 14,002
Having the internet wouldn't have made it easier for you. Knowing what you know now as an 18 year old would have but that knowledge comes from experiencing the things you've lived through, not from just reading something you can't relate to and trying to incorporate it into your life.
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
- 47,389
- 80,850
You sound really confident that everyone is the same.
Personally, I was a failure with women until I read a couple books that are probably predecessors to this redpill shit.
Attracting women comes naturally to a lot of men, others need to be shown the way explicitly.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
- 20,339
- 14,002
But you lived through that failure first, so what you read made sense to you because you had a point of reference.
I don't know where this myth comes from where guys believe any of this. Being nice and having a comfortable makes you a good match but it doesn't mean that those things will overshadow a bad personality. Male-Female relationships aren't hugely different than male-male (assuming both heterosexual) relationships but then with a different angle of sexuality. But sexuality is just one part of the whole. You still need to be emotionally compatible. And that is where attempting to put all people into a single box fails. All men and all women want different things and are interested in different things. What is fun to me is boring to another person. My sense of humor may be endearing to one and grating to another. Anyone who thinks just because they set their life up to be an ideal match and therefore are obligated by society to have this beautiful, smart, fun and funny girl fall in their lap is not only delusional but also sounds entitled -- which are not endearing qualities.
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
- 47,389
- 80,850
I lived through that failure and recovered with the help from reading. All before the age you specified in your post.
I'm not sure what exactly your argument is here. Mkopec (I believe) and I are saying that aspects of the red pill information help young men understand women in ways they couldn't do without that information.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
- 14,730
- 31,803
Ironically, the best "strat" I ever learnt when it came to catching and keeping a girl's interest was learning "not to give a fuck". Not only for just "getting laid" but moreso for keeping a girl's interest. No, I don't mean being callous, dismissive, or apathetic to her-- but an internal attitude of "I honestly don't give a shit if she likes me or not". The minute you shed *any* semblance of desperacy and make the girl wonder if you even like her, the more she's generally into you. I spent years growing up being brainwashed by four sisters who fed me all that fairy-tale bullshit like "buy her flowers on the 2nd date" until I realized that the guy who brought flowers never actually scored a date with any of them.
Honestly PUA books are basically nothing more than self help books for gaining confidence in yourself. With in of itself is not bad. But until you obtain true confidence instead of feigned confidence I don't see how someone could have a very stable and successful relationship. If anyone has followed my GWBYHT posts while I was single knows I'm not completely anti-PUA. I believe it is a fantastic first step and a great way to get your foot in the door of dating. Many people were like me in that they were completely lost and saw females as a completely alien species. So I needed some guidance on where to begin with male-female relationships (and like I said above, relationships in general) but to act like PUA stuff is the penultimate say of males to act around females is completely absurd. It tries to boil the relationships down into very shallow terms and I went through quite a few relationships that only lasted 2-6 moths because I didn't know where to go from the PUA phase of the relationship. Eventually I become full fledged confident in myself and abandoned PUA completely and presented myself as who I really am. Which is when I found my now wife. Who knew who I was from date #1 and I didn't have to change or morph or anything.
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
- 47,389
- 80,850
I disagree with this very strongly. Especially within the first year of a relationship, but still after.
This was my go-to strategy and girls eventually grew either bored and annoyed by my emotional detachment. It can work for a few months but if you really like the girl you need to become more emotionally warm after the initial "pick up phase." Which, by the way, is easier said than done because, again, suddenly you need to morph your personality and hope she likes this new you who actually gives a damn.
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
- 47,389
- 80,850
I don't think anyone here is suggesting that the PUA stuff is the penultimate way to act around females.
The redpill literature is as much self-confidence as it is informational, imo.
What are your objections? Outside of the obvious what do you do so differently with your wife that you don't with your friends? Within the first year the only thing I can think of is when talking to a new guy I don't really give a shit if he likes me or not. I'll be myself and if we click cool if we don't then who cares. That is basically how I started approaching male-female relationships as well.
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
- 47,389
- 80,850
That I am obligated to take charge during dates is enough for me to say that the two relationships are hugely different.
Obviously many men don't take charge and many women prefer they maintain control, but for myself and my relationships with women it is expected of me to take charge of things.
Obviously many men don't take charge and many women prefer they maintain control, but for myself and my relationships with women it is expected of me to take charge of things.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
- 14,730
- 31,803
Oh yes, I didn't mean to imply that it should be used as anything but an "attraction technique". But that's the difficulty with this aspect of female attraction-- being ambivalent gets you the girl, but it better be something you can adjust down the road. I didn't "learn to act" that way, and even when I *knew* that was the right way to act, actually doing so when you're going on a date with a cool 8 is easier said then done. Eventually pussy lost its gleaming altar as I got older, and I no longer had to act, it just pretty much came naturally. Then ironically the pussy started popping out of the woodwork, sigh..
Khane
Got something right about marriage
- 20,339
- 14,002
Well, that's you. But that's not typical. Someone can read all they want about many things but experience is what makes the biggest difference. This is true for almost anything in life. I mean, obviously it's a good starting point, but it isn't a silver bullet.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
- 14,730
- 31,803
This is silly and I'm with Tuco on this one. Guys generally prefer hanging out with guys rather than women for a reason.. Ever hear that expression "well she's like one of the guys" to justify having a female friend? That's because she's one of the few chicks that makes you laugh and isn't easily offended, rather than the typical one that forces your brain into Astral Projection mode five minutes into her recalling some trivial boring story.
Alex
Still a Music Elitist
- 14,665
- 7,482