Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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DickTrickle

DickTrickle

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I think a few of you are way too far on the side of Lendarios. There's a pretty good chance that he's a mama's boy that lets his family have too big an influence on his life. He's yet to really explain much about his mom/wife interactions except that his mom has said mean things. It really seems like he cares more about his family than his wife (and maybe always has). And that's fine, but you have to realize the wife probably isn't going to like that if that is the case, especially when it comes to naming a child.

And, again, Lendarios, if you wife chose a name that you absolutely hated for whatebver reason, would you have objected at all? I seriously doubt you can say you wouldn't have objected, which means you're probably being a hypocrite. If you two had thought about finding a name both of you liked for each name instead of this childish pick game, none of this would have happened (though maybe the reason the game exists is because how badly you wanted to name the kid after your mom).

Funny part is that one of her main peeps and an insulting one is that according to her " i don't act like a man" because i don't stand up with her against my family, that my priorities are in the wrong place. Well now that I am standing up for myself, on the name and on the labor room stance, now she doesn't agree with it.
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This quote and your example shows how much you don't get it. She wants you to stand up to YOUR family, not to her or her family. It seems she doesn't feel like she's as important to you as them, and you're validating that.

Now, she very well might be/is a crazy asshole, but it sure seems like it didn't get to that point all because of her.
 
Foggy

Foggy

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You don't have to ask your wife for a paternity test do you? Just take the kid to a clinic and get it done.
 
Khane

Khane

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Foggy_sl said:
You don't have to ask your wife for a paternity test do you? Just take the kid to a clinic and get it done.
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I don't see how it's an issue. They need to get divorced. It's an utter failure of a marriage. So since you're getting divorced anyway, just get the paternity test. I don't think she can legally refuse can she?
 
Phazael

Phazael

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@Trickle-
Probably some truth to that. Its also equally likely that she is nuts and is blaming her fucking up her career on him, his mother, or whatever. End result is the same, though. They are toxic and he should get moving on with his life while he is still young enough to reboot.
 
chaos

chaos

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Khane_sl said:
I don't see how it's an issue. They need to get divorced. It's an utter failure of a marriage. So since you're getting divorced anyway, just get the paternity test. I don't think she can legally refuse can she?
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I am but a simple, country lawyer. But it doesn't matter. Before the child is born you need her consent or a court order, and good luck with that. After the child is born, the birth certificate will list Lendarios as the father, in which case the paternity test is irrelevant in family court I think, or at least have seen stories about that.

I would say grant the divorce, take your daughter (if you can), even take her debt, just get out. For all the problems I had with my wife, and will probably have in the future, I would never stay in that position lenbro. If you can get your daughter, leave her.
 
Louis

Louis

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I've never dealt with any of this bullshit, but are you seriously saying even though a paternity test says your not the father your still on the hook for the kid?
 
Xequecal

Xequecal

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NoodleAnus_sl said:
You can't fault a man for this.. if she has a bangin' ass and is going to med school you gotta figure you're all set for life. Shit man.. that sucks.

I didn't know that doctors had like two chances and if they get nothing that's basically it for their careers. That's really shitty.
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Most residencies in the US are funded by Medicare and when we're in the situation where Medicare has $700 billion in annual expenses on $180 billion in annual revenue, shit tends to start getting cut.
 
Cad

Cad

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chaos_sl said:
I am but a simple, country lawyer. But it doesn't matter. Before the child is born you need her consent or a court order, and good luck with that. After the child is born, the birth certificate will list Lendarios as the father, in which case the paternity test is irrelevant in family court I think, or at least have seen stories about that.

I would say grant the divorce, take your daughter (if you can), even take her debt, just get out. For all the problems I had with my wife, and will probably have in the future, I would never stay in that position lenbro. If you can get your daughter, leave her.
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Thats really only if you believed the child was yours and treated it as yours for some time. They'll order you to pay for the good of the child, who really sees you as its father.

This wouldn't be the case in lendarios' situation, since the child isn't even born yet.
 
khalid

khalid

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What is this lady giving you other than a daughter? You say you don't want to divorce, well SHE IS THREATENING IT. If she is threatening it over and over, the marriage is already effectively over. You are only hurting yourself more by sticking around.

You sound pretty much exactly like a battered wife heh. You are being emotionally abused and need to seek help and get the hell away from your abuser.
 
Lendarios

Lendarios

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DickTrickle_sl said:
I think a few of you are way too far on the side of Lendarios. There's a pretty good chance that he's a mama's boy that lets his family have too big an influence on his life. He's yet to really explain much about his mom/wife interactions except that his mom has said mean things. It really seems like he cares more about his family than his wife (and maybe always has). And that's fine, but you have to realize the wife probably isn't going to like that if that is the case, especially when it comes to naming a child.

And, again, Lendarios, if you wife chose a name that you absolutely hated for whatebver reason, would you have objected at all? I seriously doubt you can say you wouldn't have objected, which means you're probably being a hypocrite. If you two had thought about finding a name both of you liked for each name instead of this childish pick game, none of this would have happened (though maybe the reason the game exists is because how badly you wanted to name the kid after your mom).



This quote and your example shows how much you don't get it. She wants you to stand up to YOUR family, not to her or her family. It seems she doesn't feel like she's as important to you as them, and you're validating that.

Now, she very well might be/is a crazy asshole, but it sure seems like it didn't get to that point all because of her.
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I am not in that position Trickle, i would have tried to convince her, not divorce her over it.
 
DickTrickle

DickTrickle

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Yeah, and when you failed to convince her to change it? What would you do then? What if she did what you did (say it was irreversible and that you'd call the kid by the mother's name no matter what)? Do you think you would react favorably?

My wife thinks and feels my mother is the main source of discord in our marriage.
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And you want to name your kid after your mother. You validate that her fears are right. Has your mother always been more important than your wife?

I think you need to take a step back and understand the role you play in the hopefully soon to be ending relationship. I've never once seen you make a post that showed actual concern for her point of view.
 
Lendarios

Lendarios

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Because her point of view can be fixed by sitting down with my mom and talking their problems. Which we did btw, we sat down and talk to my mom about all the stuff she has done and at that point in time my wife told me that it was ok, she forgave her. Turns out she didn't forgive her.

My mother does not matter more than my wife. My rights matter more than my wife. If she wants to keep me out of the labor room, tell me how do I compromise on that?
 
Lendarios

Lendarios

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It is legal. The mother is a patient on a medical setting. If she says to the doctor to kick me out. The doctor wont hesitate, as the mother is the patient at that point.
 
Khane

Khane

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You have absolutely 0 understanding of what Cad was saying in that quote.
 
DickTrickle

DickTrickle

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lendarios_sl said:
It is legal. The mother is a patient on a medical setting. If she says to the doctor to kick me out. The doctor wont hesitate, as the mother is the patient at that point.
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Yeah, that's what I was implying. So, it's not really your right, in other words (which you seemed to be saying when you said "My rights matter more than my wife. If she wants to keep me out of the labor room, tell me how do I compromise on that?").
 
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