I have never heard of that social norm my entire life. You are way out there on this whole name thing.
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Social norm where? You are ESL, correct? Where are you from, do you currently live there, and is your wife from there also?
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Now you are thinking dude!
Sometimes a person just needs to be punched. The way she is acting, she's practically asking for it.
iannis
Musty Nester
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The woman carries it, she ultimately gets to name it should she choose not to share that privilege. In fact, you ARE naming it. And that's non-negotiable. With your last name. The woman does have the weaker position.
This varies culture by culture, and even within families of similar culture.
This varies culture by culture, and even within families of similar culture.
DickTrickle
Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
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From what Lendarios has said, I don't know how you draw this conclusion about the family. It seems like the family, at least her mother, has shit on her multiple times and she hasn't been able to forgive that. Not exactly going out of her way to cause strife. They should definitely move on, but I don't get this cheerleader routine.
You should definitely invite your wife to this forum, Lend. Let's get a full take for our armchair analysis enjoyment.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Dude, I nearly pass out when channel surfing and I flip through one of those surgical operation shows.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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I don't think its a matter of social norm or laws or anything else. If he really feels passionate about the middle name (who gives a fuck about anybody's middle name?) and the wife is basically like "fuck you, I'm naming it what I want." Then that tells you a lot about that wife. No matter what your wife thinks of your mom, your mom is still your mom and you need to tell her to keep her fucking mouth shut around her. And that goes for your mom too.
If the wife just tells you no to everything and you just gladly go along with it, you deserve whatever happens. Take a vacation to your moms house or a friends house for a few weeks and see if she cares. If she doesn't, then you know whats up.
If the wife just tells you no to everything and you just gladly go along with it, you deserve whatever happens. Take a vacation to your moms house or a friends house for a few weeks and see if she cares. If she doesn't, then you know whats up.
iannis
Musty Nester
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Yeah, all I really meant is that social norms vary so widely that there isn't really any such thing as a social norm. There's what your parents and grandparents did... and we all sort of pretend that's what everyone does.
For example, I think naming a son Jr, II, III, etc is beyond tasteless and would never do it. And I'm very firmly white and have known plenty of , Jr's and a handful of II's and III's. I mean what the fuck. You don't get a II or III after your name unless you have a King, Duke, Earl, or Emperor in front of it.
The inability to name a child bodes unwell for a marriage. heh.
For example, I think naming a son Jr, II, III, etc is beyond tasteless and would never do it. And I'm very firmly white and have known plenty of , Jr's and a handful of II's and III's. I mean what the fuck. You don't get a II or III after your name unless you have a King, Duke, Earl, or Emperor in front of it.
The inability to name a child bodes unwell for a marriage. heh.
Lendarios
Trump's Staff
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DickTrickle
Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
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So, did your mom apologize or admit any wrong doing? Did your mom stop doing what the wife didn't like? And vice versa? If not, maybe that's why it's still an ongoing problem. Just talking doesn't always do that much if people feel they didn't get a satisfying resolution.
Or maybe your wife just can't forgive under any circumstances and/or she's being irrational.
Or maybe your wife just can't forgive under any circumstances and/or she's being irrational.
Mures
Blackwing Lair Raider
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So a ~70 year old man came into work this morning looking for my boss. He was looking for my boss' wife's number because she is a family lawyer and he lost it when he dropped his cell phone "in the commode". I told him he wasn't around and he glances down at my hand and sees a ring on my finger and says something like "You're married?, thats a shame. Don't save any money because if you do once she find out how much you have she's going to divorce you and take everything you have. I've been married 49 years and she's taking everything I own, all my money and my house." Thought you red pillers might enjoy that.
As far as lendarios situation goes, as others have said it sounds like you both are being very childish and unreasonable. It seems naming the child after your mother is very important to you, have you sat down and discussed with her what the name means to you and why it is so important to you or has it always just been "if I can't pick the first name, you pick the first name and I pick the middle name". If the two of you sit down together and have an honest discussion about it maybe you can explain to her why it means so much and if that still isn't enough , well there is nothing really you can do at that point other than know you're stuck in a relationship in which there is no compromise.
Me personally, I think naming YOUR child (your, meaning yours and hers) after your still alive mother is a little strange, but maybe it is a cultural thing. But ask yourself this, would you not have a problem with her naming your first son after her father? Remember its not just your first daughter, its hers also.
As far as lendarios situation goes, as others have said it sounds like you both are being very childish and unreasonable. It seems naming the child after your mother is very important to you, have you sat down and discussed with her what the name means to you and why it is so important to you or has it always just been "if I can't pick the first name, you pick the first name and I pick the middle name". If the two of you sit down together and have an honest discussion about it maybe you can explain to her why it means so much and if that still isn't enough , well there is nothing really you can do at that point other than know you're stuck in a relationship in which there is no compromise.
Me personally, I think naming YOUR child (your, meaning yours and hers) after your still alive mother is a little strange, but maybe it is a cultural thing. But ask yourself this, would you not have a problem with her naming your first son after her father? Remember its not just your first daughter, its hers also.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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We've all already told you what to do. You just don't want to listen. You're expecting some kind of magic silver bullet that's going to fix everything for you. This marriage is not worth fixing. Walk away.
Lendarios
Trump's Staff
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I have no issues with any names or gender names she could have picked, for boy or girl.
Lendarios
Trump's Staff
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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To switch it up, I present you all with this gem:
Being a Stay-at-Home Parent is a Luxury - For Your Spouse
Being a Stay-at-Home Parent is a Luxury - For Your Spouse
Foggy
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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We can conclusively say Lendarios has obvious flaws; he decided she was a good person to marry AND have TWO kids with.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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Jimmies are now officially rustled. Though I was initially just annoyed at this lazy bitch's failed logic, the comments have altogether caused me to lose my faith in humanity.
Tell you what Honey, if you think making doctors' appointments and picking up FedEx packages is a "luxury" for me while I work 50 hours a week so that you can buy those shoes in said package, how about you get a job instead and we can both enjoy this "luxury" while Consuella handles things for $10/hour? After all, I shouldn't be the only one to enjoy "luxury".
From the comments:
lol.. rough life. Wait, if staying home creates luxury for your husband, but working was too stressful, does that mean your husband has a luxuriously stressful life?